After splashing his face with ice cold water several times, Tyler finally decided to crawl out of the bathroom to face Josh. He had an uneasy feeling weighing down his gut, the boy knew that whatever Josh wanted to talk about was somehow connected with the video. Tyler's dry throat let out a quiet whistle when the boy exhaled deeply. He had fucked up. He always did this. Tyler strived to be a better person but his bratty attitude and irresponsibility always caught up to him. 

Tyler knew that he was a child. An ambitious, stubborn, immature child that didn't deserve to be treated with such sympathy. The brunet never knew what it meant to be responsible for his own actions since everyone around him still treated him as a kid. Well,  most of the people. Now, Tyler knew what being adult felt like. He couldn't understand why he sent the video to Steve when every fibre in his body screamed no. The boy regretted his actions dearly. The regret would come to him in quiet moments, such as when he was going to sleep or waiting for his kettle to boil. It would seep to the foreground of his mind and demand to be reexamined again. But Tyler was tired of thinking about it, no amount of analysis was going to turn back the clock. He had to get on with it here and now, make better choices next time around. If there was a next time. 

He had to go talk to Josh. 

Knowing the man's forgiving nature Tyler didn't expect something explosive. He had never seen Josh truly mad. There was the first time for everything. 

The distance to Josh's small office was agonizingly short. Tyler procrastinated as much as he could. He stopped to place a chair in its place, collect paper plates off the floor... Stalling wouldn't change anything, it would only make everything worse. Tyler knew that. 

"Man up, man up..." Tyler chanted to himself under his breath knowing damn well that he could never be a man. Only a child trapped in an adult's body. A spoiled little boy without the taste of real life on his tongue... 

Tyler inhaled deeply before grabbing the doorknob. The office door creaked quietly, a pleasant smell greeted Tyler's nostrils. It was the scent of freshly brewed coffee and Josh's usual cologne mixed together. You'd think that cologne and coffee don't go well but it actually was the homiest smell Tyler ever breathed in. 

The boy quietly closed the door behind him knowing how much the man valued privacy. Tyler stared down at the floor, trying to control the tremor in his body. He looked up at the man who was resting his hip against his table, one hand gripping the edge while the other one held his cellphone. Josh had a grim look on his face, it was the face of a man who had been betrayed. Tyler drew in a ragged breath, his body unnaturally stiff. 

"Close the door," Josh murmured without even looking at the boy

"I did." Tyler swallowed the lump in his throat 

"Hm," the man hummed in response

Tyler stood in the middle of Josh's brand new office without a purpose. He wanted to sit down but that would mean that he had to approach the man. Tyler was too scared to do that. He was too scared to look Josh in the eyes.

The guilt was like gasoline in Tyler's guts. His insides died slowly in the toxicity, needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze. The fire burnt him out so badly there was nothing left but a shell, an outline of a person. The silence was deadly, like a blade coated in venom, pressing slowly into the brunet's skin till it started to hiss and melt. The quiet was agonizing, anxiety-inducing. Tyler had learned to live with his anxiety but this time it was something more than an irrational fear. 

"Debby visited today," Josh finally lifted up his head, a cold spike struck Tyler's heart

"Oh?" Tyler acted unnecessary oblivious

"Yeah." Josh squeezed out a sarcastic smile "She had some things to say."

"What did she want from you?" Tyler felt his blood freezing time

Josh let out a soft grunt and slid off the edge of his table. He was now standing in front of the boy, one hand gesturing at a seat. 

"Take a seat." Josh pointed with his palm "Now."

Tyler didn't object and slid past Josh and into the seat. The man instead of sitting in his office chair stood in front of Tyler towering over him. The boy sunk into the seat, nails digging into the leather armrest. 

"She had some interesting footage to share with me," Josh sounded distant as if he wasn't really talking to Tyler but some object that needed to be thrown away. There was a slight hint of disgust in his voice, his lips, his everything. "I suppose you know already?"

Tyler shook his head and before he could speak Josh's palm slammed on the desk sending a thundering echo around the whole fifth floor. 

"Don't lie to me, Tyler!" The man yelled, he leaned in landing his hand on one of the armrests "I know about the video, I know to whom you sent it and why!"

"I'm sorry-" Tyler sobbed, Josh's angry face was inches away from his

"You're sorry?" Josh hissed, fires blazing in his eyes "I trusted you, Tyler, I gave everything to you and this is what I get?"

Tyler shook his head. An empty gesture, that's it. It wasn't a valid argument, he just kept denying what was already obvious. Josh's nostrils flared, his whole aura radiated crimson red, anger, vicious desperation. Thirst for truth. All Tyler had to do was calmly explain everything to the man but he just sat crying, shaking his head.

"Do you realize what you did?" Josh fumed "I thought we had something real, I thought you really loved me-"

"I do love you." Tyler's head shot up "I do..."

"Bullshit!" The man rattled the chair with Tyler in it "If you loved me you would've shown some respect for our privacy."

The man grabbed his phone and shoved it into Tyler's face. The boy closed his eyes and turned his head away. Josh forced Tyler to lift his face up, gripping his cheeks harshly. 

"Look at it," the man hissed his grip moved to Tyler's hair 

The man forced a whimper out of the boy's mouth. He opened his teary eyes to watch the video. Josh wasn't himself. The deadly grip and the rage inside his eyes made him look like an angry animal, a lion lashing out. Tyler sniffled harder as the man pulled his hair harshly, forcing the brunets head to stay in place. 

Tyler watched the screen, blurry shapes appearing in front of his nose. Tears streamed down his cheeks and all he could recognize was Josh's voice. Tyler didn't need to see the video, he heard it. Josh removed his hands from Tyler's hair and slammed the phone into his drawer. The brunet sat shaking in his seat, choking on his own tears because he never thought that the man he loved could become so violent. 

"Do you have anything to say?" Josh muttered, jaw clenching repeatedly "Anything at all?"

Tyler bit his bottom lip, what was he supposed to say? The truth seemed so unbelievable that he didn't even try to defend himself. Josh already knew that Tyler was a liar. 

"I can't believe you did this to me, after everything I've done for you," Josh's voice trembled, Tyler couldn't figure it out if the tears in the man's eyes were from sorrow or anger but it hurt either way

The man wiped his tears angrily, mad that he was feeling this vulnerable. 

"I never asked for anything in return, I never wanted anything from you except your love and respect." Josh raked his fingers through his hair "You ruined my life Tyler. Everyone probably saw this video. I'm gonna lose my job because of you. Do you know how much you fucked me over? You're nothing but I'm the pastor's son. I'm gonna have to pack my shit and move back to Ohio and it's all because of you!"

The volume of Josh's voice rose with each word, forcing Tyler to sink down in his seat. The boy opened his mouth several times to defend himself but fear clutching his chest took away all his breath. Josh was scary when angry. Tyler's silence was making the man even angrier. Finally, Josh snapped completely.

"I can't do this," Josh turned his red from anger face away from Tyler "Not with you."

"W-what do you mean?" Tyler choked out knowing damn well what Josh meant. He just didn't want to accept the truth.

"Do you really think that we still can be a thing after you made fun out of my love?" Josh's fists clenched with a violent twitch "After you made a mockery of my affection? Was it just a stupid bet for you? To seduce the hot and rich youth counsellor? Fucking hell, Tyler. You stooped so low." 

"I just-" Tyler hiccuped from the blunt pressure in his chest 

"Leave. Leave right now." Josh sighed heavily "Pack your shit and go. I don't want you in my house anymore."

"I don't-" Tyler sniffled "I have nowhere to go."

"Does it look like I give a damn?" Josh said coldly "I'd also appreciate if you would stop coming here."

"No, you can't do this!" Tyler lit up "All my friends are here! You can't-"

"I can and I will." Josh straightened his posture to appear taller "I'm the one who makes decisions and I've decided that you don't need any counselling. You're fine. Congratu-fucking-lations." 

Tyler clenched his fists, he was actually angry at the man despite all the shit that he's done. The boy realized that Josh is dead serious, he was throwing Tyler out like the love he felt suddenly evaporated. There was nothing in the older man's eyes. A cold, dead stare. 

Tyler inhaled deeply, words collecting on his tongue and he swallowed them. He swallowed his pride and didn't scream in Josh's face. Once, just this once Tyler was going to act like an adult to prove to Josh that he wasn't just a child. 

Walking out that door was probably the hardest thing Tyler ever had to do.