The tapping of the rain keeps me awake, the beating of my heart faint as my gaze settles upon the driveway of the house, the front door pulled wide open as I sit on the front steps. A few light sprinkles get my bare feet wet, the fabric of my jeans lightly damp as I pull my legs in closer to my body as I look out to the forest which closes in on the private drive which leads up to my house. The father I never got the chance to meet made sure this house was to be secluded, a thick forest separating this house from the rest of the world, yet I feel lost from the rest of the world out here. I feel lost from the people I should be close to.

Everyday feels the same - lonely...lost. Perhaps my father's intentions to seclude this house from the rest of the pack were not the most pure, for I remember learning that his home once sat on a hill closer to the pack house, surrounded by other pack members as well as the general population of the town. With the damage done to the pack house, perhaps I could look into construction being done to a portion of land out here? Perhaps two pack houses could be of use, to evenly split the amount of pack warriors to cover the territory better. Yet these topics are not ready to bring to the table yet - no - for they are of the topic when the war is over. I cannot simply call for construction which takes time, men, and money when war takes just the same, even more.

Taking in a deep breath, I stretch out my arms, glancing down to my phone to check the time as I wonder just when I can catch some peace of mind. Alpha Finch should be arriving anytime to discuss matters which are important to not just my standing in this war, by the very fabrication of this partnership. I am moving forward with the advice Alpha Finley provided me, for I know Finch has information I would rather not have spread about to the other allies in this pact, much less the general public fighting under the Crimson Lock flag.

The faint headlights which move through the trees inform me that my visitor is near. As I push myself to my feet and collect myself, I ready myself for the conversation I am about to undergo, as if some complex operation. No matter what happens, I need to remain collected. Alpha Penelope is no longer an ally and she had quite the amount of land which Finch could acquire after this meeting. I need to remind him not just of his place during this meeting, but I need to remind myself to not seem too controlling. I cannot just make it seem like if he refuses that I will cut off our partnership, for then he could be free to tell people of what I need him to hold secret.

As the sleek black car pulls into the circular driveway, I watch Finch step out out the car, umbrella in hand as he walks over to me, those eyes piercing into my own as he heads for me. "Alpha Leala, a please," he greats, almost sincere with his tone. As we head into the house, Finch places his umbrella into the hands of a staff member and we walk towards the office. "Why don't we discuss matters in the sitting room?"

"I would prefer a more private space," I inform, watching Finch as he stops by the doors to the secondary sitting area behind the living room. "Alpha Finch?"

"Are meetings really meant to be held in such boring locations? Please, Alpha Leala, when is the last time you held a meeting in a more casual atmosphere?" He is trying to test my limits, to understand the reason why I called him here today. He is trying to gage just how much I will need him to do what I will ask of him today. "Try to take a break from that all-professional alpha image. Relax."

Giving in, we soon find ourselves in the sitting room with a pot of coffee on the coffee table and a small plate of scones laid out before us by the house staff. As I lock the door behind the staff, I take my seat on the velvet navy arm chair and look ahead to Finch who sits before the tall window, all relaxed and not a care in the world.

"Thank you for meeting with me today, I know you were headed east to be with your men on the frontline."

"Please, it is very nice to be back here, with the next queen." Finch pops one of the small scones into his mouth, smiling at me as he does so. I bite the inside of my cheek, already bracing myself for a hard conversation. "Now what can I do for my future queen."

"I would like to ask of you to forget of a fact." Finch perks up. "That fact being of River and myself having ever been intimate." A smirk tugs at Finch's lips, only to be replaced with a stern glance as he leans back in his chair as he glances up at me. "For forgetting this fact, you will be compensated with a growth in land for your pack - a generous growth in land. Your pack was close to bordering Alpha Penelope's. Alpha Penelope is no longer an ally and when this war is done, your pack will absorb a third of that territory."

A brief moment of silence surrounds us, Finch raising his eyebrows as he processes the news, and as a small smile spreads across his lips, he looks to me once more. "A generous offer indeed."

"I-"

"But every ally in this war is receiving a growth in land."

"You will be receiving a handsome amount, far more than the others."

"Finley will be expanding too. Yusuf will be expanding at least fifty miles North into Canada into some very green territories - perfect for building on and hunting." Finch pauses, glancing outside. "I want more."

"I can run the numbers for you, Finch, and prove to you that you will receiving twice than-"

"I have run the numbers."

"I cannot promise you all of Penelope's land at this moment. Those who fled to the cities when their packs dissolved. If they return to the kingdom, we need land for them to settle. We will offer them land to rebuild their packs."

"I am not asking for more land. I will take the land you have promised me, yes, but I require more." I shake my head, unaware of what more Finch could be asking of me. "I have read the deal you signed with Finley, of what the new government will become if we win. I know what will become of the kingdom - of what parties will hold the power."

"And?"

"It is clear I will be in the Senate, for I am an Alpha. I want to be a Senatorial Advisor."

"Those are limited seats."

"Only three, yes. And appointed for life by the royal in power." My jaw clenches. "And let's be honest, are you going to appoint random alpha from new packs who did not fight for you in the war, or alphas who fought for you in the war - a number which encompass almost every alpha who declared their allegiance to your cause...your shiny little name."

I have to agree. If I say no, then Finch would tell about my relationship with River, jeopardizing my reputation and my chance at the crown. The crown....the very thing I am fighting for.

"Fine," I snarl.

Finch gets to his feet, holding out his hand for me to shake. As I shake it, I swallow the lump in my throat as one scarier reality comes to my mind: what if it comes to light that River is the child of Sybil and Zion. Would the people of my pack give River sanctuary? Would Finch keep this a secret still? If the secret came out I was intimate with River and I had known he was Sybil's son...would they still fight for me?

I have no idea?

<><><>

Did I expect Penelope to withdraw her allegiance so quickly? Could I have seen it coming? Cedric has pointed out time and time again just how easily I have come to trust people. With Penelope, Yusuf, Finch, and so many more. I pass my fingers trough my hair, gazing up to the tall ceiling as the shuffling of footsteps around me seem to drown out my thoughts, gathering my thoughts into a haze as I draw in a deep breath. 

I have made so many promises to so many people. I have promises Finch not just a growth in land for his pack, but a Senatorial Advisor position which will grant him extreme power both at the Senate level as well as the royal advisor level. Yusuf will no doubt be one of those men placed as a Senatorial Advisor - for he has stuck by my side this entire time. What of Cedric and Brie? What of the most loyal companions who have served not just me, but Crimson Lock? What of Crimson Lock? Will Crimson Lock remain in place and go on as a pack, or will it progress to become the royal city which surrounds the palace in all its glory, to be placed on a pedestal and be known as a place of nobles? 

Glancing to Cedric, I watch him order men around, the warriors of this pack and others practicing tactics as they learn formations and are brought up to speed as Brie mingles with her husband. Her cornflower blue eyes meet mine for a split second before I watch the commotion unfold around me as I watch the people walking around me within the pack house, trying to rebuild the portion of the pack house torn down during the fire. Weaving around the portion of the house, I try and find a spot to breath, making my way from one wing to the other as members of Crimson Lock bow their heads and try to open parts of the crowd for me. Locks of my hair begin to fall into my face, sweat running from my brows as I push forth from the crowd as I glance around the house for an empty room. Finding solitude in the one room I had faith in, I throw myself onto the chair and take in a deep breath. 

This thriving pack has seen better days. I watch as warriors outside, while they sit chatting and looking to the stars, they are desperate. They mourn the days they have never known - when the werewolf kingdom was never at war or pleading with the goddess for a spec of hope that we may not fade into fantasy books. Our race has begun to die off and if we allow our race to vanish into the human realms, we shall fade off into the wind. I know I am not just fighting for a crown here - no - I am fighting to keep our species alive another century and to watch our species progress through the eons. Keva wants us gone, she wishes the wolves could just die off. 

Could Keva's species even grow back if she won the war? Elves cannot populate a city like werewolves can. Their fertility....well, elves would rather spend their youth learning to fight, learning astronomy, and magic than allowing hormones to take control. Perhaps I am thinking too much. Perhaps so...

A quite knock on the door draws me from my thoughts, the door peeking open as a pair of golden eyes draw my interest. "You look troubled." 

I perk up, sitting straight up in my chair as River slides into my secondary office. "I thought you were keeping a distance from me."

He peruses about the room, hands clasped behind his back as he glances around before his eyes land on me. "Say we get away for a little, from the commotion. Fancy a drink? Looks like we could both use one." 

I know a drink means trouble, but he is right. It is no secret he has been troubled lately - hell, we both have. We both have not been right in the head lately. Picking myself up, I let out a sigh and follow River out the door. Grabbing the door, River leads me out the room and soon out of the house. Within enough time, we soon find ourselves at the local pub, my head pounding from the stress of the day. An order of chips and salsa and a pint of beer in my hand, I look outside the window to the town outside. The others within the bar keep a small distance from our dim booth, a few of them wolves while the others human. River sits across from me, his stout almost half gone as we haven't exchanged a single word in the ten minutes we have been here. My feet tap against the floor, eyes moving back between River and the town as I try and think of something to say. 

"Don't do that."

"What?"

"Force conversation. We don't need it. Try and just relax for a change," he mutters as the waitress returns with one of the other orders we had. As she sets down the steamed vegetables, she forces a smile and moves away as she senses the tension. 

"I'm just trying to be friendly. You seemed like you needed a conversation back at the house." 

River's jaw clenches as his eyes seem to glow under the light. "I just wanted to get away from it all." 

I can understand. He still does not feel welcome nor do I think he ever will within my pack, after all, he was once alpha of Eternal Shadows. To have been alpha of the opposing pack and now be sheltered by the enemy, it must not only be embarrassing, but feel like power has been stripped from him, threatening as well. River must feel like a prisoner of Crimson Lock, as if he has no where to run. "My men will do you no harm." 

"They harass me...constantly," River snaps, trying to keep his voice low. "They torment me with their words, Leala." I watch as his eyes begin to water, wiping away the tears which barely have time to form. "Fuck, Leala, do you have any idea what it is like for them to mock me about the dead members of my pack who were helpless when Keva murdered them? No, you do not. They are just waiting for me to snap so they can claim self defense when they rip into my skin and tear me apart limb-by-limb." 

"River, I had no-"

"Bullshit. You had to have some idea your men would mock me. You could not be so naïve to not expect this to happen. What did you expect? Huh? Your men to accept me with open arms as a visitor and welcome me with a parade throwing candy?" River snarls, catching attention from a few other customers as I sit back in my seat and take in a shaky breath. Running his fingers through his hair, he tries to calm himself down, his fingers curling into fists as he tries to steady himself. As River takes in a calming breath, he glances up to me, I watch the blackening swirls in his eyes begin to fade away. "I know I should be thankful to you, Leala, for offering me a haven, but it is hard at the moment to be thankful when I am still mourning the death of my friends, my pack members, my title, my life, and my dignity." 

I do not know exactly what to say, but I find myself acting before I have time to think. Reaching forward, I wrap my hand around River's fist upon the table, offering it a gentle squeeze as my eyes meet his with a soft glance. "I am sorry." 

 As River begins to calm down, he pulls himself together and slides his hand away from mine, the two of us going back to our drinks as I look back outside. We act as if our small argument had never happened and as if he had never snapped at me. Once we finish our bears and food, we find ourselves ordering another round of drinks followed by a shot of whiskey. Soon enough, the moon is high in the sky and we have gone two hours without a conversation between the two of us. My own internal conversations go back and forth from pack business and how my parents would be rolling in their graves if they knew I were having drinks with Zion's own son. 

"My father once told me that my mother had hoped for a daughter." 

I glance over to the alpha without a pack, raising an eyebrow as he speaks a word to me. 

"Turns out before her death, she would have been ecstatic for a boy, but after her death...after all the truth was released and all the literal hell she went through, she had hoped she would have a daughter." 

"Why?" I ask, curious. 

"Because Zion would not push his daughter to become the rightful Queen. Sexist little shit is what my father is," River explains. "My mother confessed it to my father and, from what I gather from what he told me, I can only think it made their marriage more bitter. She was really never the same after her resurrection. If they had a daughter, my mouther could have seen her daughter more. Because I was born male, I had to be raised and trained as if I was to be king." 

I fiddle with the shot glass, rolling it around on the side. "Do you wish you were born a girl? That you could have spent your youth with your family and not training to be a king?" 

River pounders the question for a short second, placing his chin on his palm as he glances over to me, furrowing his eyebrows. "I have thought of that. But Zion is Zion...he will never change. I would have spent more time with my mother. Life would have been very different." His lips purse together. "I am afraid I cannot answer that with a definite." I nod. "What of you."

"What do you mean?"

"If you were given the choice, would you chose to keep life the same or to have lived having grown up in Crimson Lock knowing who you were?" 

I lean forward, placing my chin on my palm, mimicking River's posture as I think for a moment, wondering just how different life would have been - or just how different I would have been. Quinn and Terrance were good parents to me, teaching me things I would never have gotten to know. Who would have raised me in Crimson Lock? Oliver? Steward Cade? Those two may have not been the best parental figures. 

"I perhaps cannot say either - for a definite yes or no. There are just too many ways life could have turned out for if life would have started differently." I watch River nod to my answer. "It is scary to think of." 

The movement of figures catch my eye as I notice patrons begin to leave the bar, the clock hitting two in the morning as the pub begins to close. "We should get going," River comments, grabbing his wallet as he heads off to pay his tab. Nodding, I collect my things as he finds the waitress. As we finish up, we head for the front door, the summer breeze blows across my lips as the walk back to my home begins. The silence of the walk begins once more, the cool weather comfortable for the silence. The walk continues for another twenty minutes before we make it to the front of the private drive which continues for another fifteen minutes.

"I spoke with Finch. I feel like I should inform you of that." River's questioning face informs me to continue. "Finch found through channels of our intimate relationship. Alpha Finley became aware of them as well and suggested I pay Finch off with an expansion of land."

River catches my arm, shaking his head as I become confused. "You simply 'paid him off.' How did he even find out? How did any of this come to light?" 

"Finch came to me and threatened me with the facts he knew that you and I had been intimate. Word can get around, you know people gossip, that things can be spotted, and that we were not exactly the most sneaky in the palace," I explain. "I promised him an expansion of land on Penelope's territory when the war is over as well as a Senatorial Advisor role." 

"Senatorial Advisor role?!" River laughs, "Fuck, Leala, that's just the cherry on top to keep that bastard quite. "I bet he asked for that term, right? Only three of those seats are open. Hell, I have no Senate seat because I have no pack and I bet I will have no Senatorial Advisor seat because I was the one who opposed you in the war. So what? What am I going to be in this new kingdom?"

"River-"

"What am I going to be? What will River be? The jester of the Queen? Queen Leala Maxwell will give every alpha from her inner circle some fancy title except the alpha who has no pack..."

"Please, River, please just stop." 

"Am I a joke to you? To that little circle of yours?" 

Tears begin to form in my eyes, my chest rising and falling heavily as I try and form my words. Throwing his hands up in the air, just as River turns his back to me, I shout. "You are not a joke to me, but the topic of you is fragile at the moment. It is still hard for not just the other alphas, but the men who fight for them to not see you as the enemy. They need to come to terms with what happened."

"And who knows how long that will take," River sighs, looking over to me. 

Reaching out, I take hold of his hand, pleading with him to not just run away. "Please understand where I am coming from. Please, River. And please believe me when I say I am going to give you a spot in this kingdom." 

He turns around to face me, briefly looking down to where my hand wraps around his forearm. "I promise. I really do." Before I can process what I have done, I reach my hand up to cup the side of his face, rising on my toes as I place a soft kiss to the side of his cheek. As I place my heels back on the ground, a hand is pressed at the small of my back, pulling me into a warm chest as my hand is still pressed against his cheek, my lips pressed against his as butterflies form in my stomach. 

My feet tumble over sticks as we make it out of the main road, the two of us all caught up in one another, finding solitude in the thick forest. Warm hands slide under my shirt and as lips begin to create a trail from my neck to the swell of my breasts, I softly push River away. 

"We cannot be careless. My men patrol these woods. One sighting and gossip breads like a wildfire." 

River nods, understanding the situation as he gets to his feet and pulls me up. Looking around the forest floor, we come to the conclusion no one has seen us. Pulling a few dead leaves from my hair, we appear back onto the main trail and continue our way back to my house. The closer we get, the more I begin to spot members of the pack patrolling the boarders. 

Looking up to River, I nod, the two of us acknowledging we have done the right thing. But have I done the right thing? I have just promised him a spot in my kingdom, the very man I find myself falling for. I cannot having a romantic entanglement with someone who will then become an advisor or Master of Coin or something of the sort without a major of scandal. Could I find myself marrying him? That would cause a major scandal then too. What could come of this promise? 

As I part ways with River for the night, Brie joins me upstairs in my sunroom. "Enjoy your drinks?" 

"It was relaxing," I comment, grabbing a book as I take a seat and gaze outside. "Any news?" 

"Penelope looks like she is getting ready for a large battle." 

Taking in a deep breath, I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Then we shall be there to meet her."

I am thankful I never promised anything to Penelope. I would be sad to break a promise to her.