Anxiety

~~~~~~~~~~~
Blackbear

I can't eat, I can't sleep
I get anxiety
When you're not here with me
I get anxiety
I can't eat, I can't sleep
Don't know why you can't see
You give me, You give me
Give me anxiety

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Light seeped into the dark room through the cracks in the blind, forming regular strips on the wall opposite to the window. Soft snoring kept the silence at bay, mixed with the yawning of a bearded black collie resting in the far corner of the room.

A hand dangled from the side of the occupied bed, the fingers almost grazing the carpet. It seemed to tempt the black dog, the way the fingers twitched as the owner snored on. Consequently, the dog took no time in bounding across the floor and attacking the hand with its slobbery tongue.

It took the person a little while in fully acknowledging why his hand felt so wet. Disgusted, they pulled their hand away from the dog and into the confines of the comforter.

A groggy voice erupted from the bed. "Ew, gross! Bad dog, Kyle."

The collie let the scolding go unnoticed and continued to disturb his human's morning peace. With a low 'woof', Kyle jumped onto the bed and began searching for his owner's face among the tangle of bed sheets.

Finding it within seconds, Kyle moved to run his wet tongue all over the person's face, trying to make them get up. A hand shot up from the blankets and shoved the dog away. Sputtering and gagging, a boy of fifteen with bedraggled blonde hair lazily emerged from the sheets.

Scrunching up his nose at the dog, the boy wiped the saliva off his face. "Remind me to never let you sleep in my room ever again."

"Woof!"

"I'll take that as an agreement."

The dog and the boy stared at each other solemnly for half a minute, the former looking innocent while the latter kept a monotone expression. That is until the blonde could no longer keep up the act. He smiled in spite of himself causing Kyle to pant happily and wag his tail.

"Idiot," the boy chuckled, scratching the collie under the chin.

He was about to lean in closer to give the excited dog a full on belly rub when suddenly his door burst open with such vehemence, it almost sounded like a cannon going off.

A tall, lanky boy of sixteen poked his dark-haired head inside, looking extremely bored. "Wake up, stinkball," he drawled, raising an eyebrow at the collie as it rolled around in the bed sheets.

"What is it with you and blasting open doors, Morro?" The blonde asked, running both his hands through his disheveled hair. "You could seriously give someone a heart attack."

"Well, I'm sorry that I don't want dear, ol' Luh-loyd to be late while his mom is waiting," came back Morro's sarcastic reply.

The blonde frowned. "You know it's Lloyd. The other l is silent."

"Whatever. I never understood the point of silent letters anyway."

"When did Mom arrive?" Lloyd questioned, trying to get out of bed without stumbling over Kyle.

"Half an hour ago, I think," Morro shrugged, pushing his hands into his hoodie pockets. He nodded his head down the hall while adding, "She's downstairs having a polite conversation with your dad."

Lloyd sighed, rolling his green eyes as if that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard in his life. "How many snarky comments have they thrown at each other?"

Morro puckered his lips and glanced to the side as he worked out the number. "Twenty-seven in total since your mom arrived."

"Ooh, that's a new record," Lloyd smirked, pulling open his closet to search for clean clothes.

Sympathy was a thing you would rarely see in Morro's eyes. Sometimes it would only be for a fleeting moment and other times it would be non-existent. But when he lifted his softened gaze at Lloyd as he rummaged through his wardrobe, his heart ached. It would do that everytime Lloyd would try to smile at his parents situation.

All he could see was a helpless kid forced to smile and accept that what his parents had done was okay. As an adopted child, Morro felt that way too. He was living with people who were not his blood but he should be okay with it. That's what the world expected. That's what they wanted.

Did the kids' opinion matter? Of course not. They were just stupid pieces of clay being moulded into whatever society desired.

It wasn't that Morro didn't appreciate the new family he had been made a part of all those years ago. He loved these people. But sometimes he wondered why he wasn't good enough to be with his own blood. He had spent many nights awake, trying to figure it out. But the world just thought it would be okay for him to not know. So he never found the answer.

"Hey, M? You with me?"

"Huh?" Morro dragged himself out of his thoughts, turning to see his cousin who regarded him with an irked look.

"Don't zone out on me, man! I need to know."

"Know what?"

Lloyd pulled Kyle's head away from his duffel bag before stuffing in his pile of clothes. "If mom brought those foster kids with her or not."

"What foster kids?" Morro bent down to pet the discouraged collie, drawing back when the infamous salivary tongue licked his nose.

Lloyd zipped up the bag and deposited it onto the bed. "You know, that dude and his sister from Ignacia that Mom decided to care for."

"Oh, them?" Morro shook his head. "Nah, Aunt Misako came alone."

He then grinned playfully. "I can tell you have some serious beef with the siblings."

Lloyd pouted, looking unimpressed. He may be sensitive about having strange children at his mom's place but that didn't mean he had declared World War III against them. "I don't have 'beef' with the new kids. It's just that . . ."

Lloyd sighed, letting his hands fall to his sides. "It would've been weird if she had brought them along, that's all I'm saying."

Morro looked skeptical but still pretended to believe that Lloyd really didn't mind the fostering responsibility his mother had taken upon herself. "Either way, you're gonna be sharing your mom's house with them."

The blonde attempted to state his disagreement on that matter but stopped when a voice wafted up from the floor below.

"Lloyd, pack up your stuff and come have your breakfast! Your mother's waiting!"

Lloyd ran to the door of his room and yelled out, "Coming, Dad!" before dashing to the bathroom, calling for Morro to go tell his mother that he would be arriving shortly.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Duffel bag in hand and a backpack of essentials hung from one shoulder, Lloyd hastily descended the stairs with Kyle at his heels. The zipper of his green jacket clinked as he dashed through the foyer and headed for the front door.

He slung his backpack off his shoulder and left it and the duffel leaning against the umbrella stand by the door before bounding down the hall to the living room. He pulled up short at the end of the passage, his forehead creasing.

Morro stood there with his ear up to the partially cracked open door, all but trying to remain hidden. Lloyd could hear his parents and uncle discussing something inside and, judging by the way Morro was frowning, it wasn't anything to be excited about.

Before the recent revolution of technology in the past thirty years, Ninjago had always practiced combat and self-defense by means of martial arts. Lloyd's family had deep roots in this culture and the fact that his grandfather had contributed a lot to it was not a thing to be missed.

So, in order to respect his legacy and despite the world leaving things like karate behind, Lloyd's father and uncle had decided to pass their gift onto their sons. Cutting them off from the rest of society, Lloyd and Morro had been provided with education at home while they trained apace with it.

The boys weren't what you would call experts in such arts but practicing had at least enabled Lloyd to stealthily sneak up next to Morro, who likewise had enough practice to sense his approach and not get startled.

"Hey, pssst!" Lloyd hissed into his cousin's ear. He endeavoured to keep his voice low for something told him that the adults in the room weren't ready to include the kids in the conversation and would certainly not appreciate them eavesdropping.

"What are you doing?"

Morro drew back from the crack and pushed his finger against his lips, gesturing at Lloyd to keep quiet before pointing at the door.

"What?" Lloyd forced on, ignoring Morro's frantic signals. "What's going on?"

He incessantly patted Morro's back and chanted his name, wanting him to come forth with an explanation on what he was trying to do. "Morro. Morro! Morro!"

The older held back a groan. His impatience suggested to choke the inquisitive blonde in order stop his perpetual whining but he moved to hold him by the shoulders instead. "They're taking about sending us off to a boarding school," Morro revealed, not daring to increase his voice more than a murmur.

This struck Lloyd dumb for about a second before he blurted out, "What?!"

"With those foster kids," Morro emphasized, turning back to the door to resume his snooping. "And apparently they've been mulling it over together for weeks."

'This is bad,' Lloyd mentally freaked out. Any possibility of interfacing with other people would always put him on edge. He wasn't used to it and so he attempted to reassure himself. 'Morro must be joking. No way are Mom and Dad going to push me into a boarding school.'

Lloyd scoffed, snapping at Morro to give him room before managing to sqeeze against the door to hear for himself. He could see his father get up from the loveseat and pace the room through the crack between the door and its frame.

Lloyd heard the man sigh dejectedly. He watched as his father walked over to the picture on the mantlepiece featuring the smiling, younger versions of Morro and Lloyd, the latter with his arms around a black puppy, unmistakably Kyle.

"I'm still not sure if I'm ready to do this," he heard him say.

"Why not?" Lloyd's mother spoke from the couch opposite to the loveseat. "You were down with the idea before now, Garmadon. Then why this uncertainty at the last minute?"

"Don't think I can't see through what you're trying to do here, Misako," snapped the man, causing his ex-spouse to draw back slightly. "You only set this up because you want to take Lloyd away from me."

Indignation flared in the woman's chest. "Why would I do that? Things may be bad between us but you're his father. He loves you. I'm not gonna take that away from him!"

"You did so that night," Garmadon argued. He could feel his brother, Wu, tense up at this but he ignored it.

"I wasn't in the right state of mind that night and you know that," muttered Misako, her voice surprisingly calm. Usually it would shake whenever they talked about that night, Lloyd recalled. The night when everything went wrong.

As if wanting to change the subject, Garmadon folded his arms and leaned against the mantlepiece. "Misako, the boys have been home-schooled their entire lives. We can't just flip the script and throw them in a boarding school now. They're not used to strange people or new places."

"That's the thing," Misako sighed, attempting to keep the annoyance out of her tone. "It's time the boys face the world and see for themselves what practical life is like. We can't keep them sheltered from their peers forever."

She paused to see what effect this had on her son's father. She decided to continue when it looked like he was considering what she had to say. "These lack of social interactions and understanding is the very reason Lloyd overreacted when I took in Kai and Nya a week ago."

Garmadon's face darkened, his mood souring. He took a few steps closer to the woman, looking down at her from his tall height. "Can you blame him? He's a child from a broken family. In these two-week alternate visits, he needs all the attention he can get from us. How do you expect him to not be upset at the aspect of sharing his mother's attention with two foster kids?"

Misako's green eyes glazed over and she took a deep, calming breath. Thankfully, Wu realized she needed assistance and took to handling the situation.

"This is what we want him and Morro to know, Garmadon," he began, giving Misako a subtle but assuring nod. "They need to understand why kids like Kai and Nya need help. Morro needs to know why kids like him are left for adoption. We want them to help people. But first, it's important to learn how to sympathize with them."

Garmadon glanced at his younger brother. He remembered how excited Wu had been when he had settled on adopting a child for himself. Like Misako, he had a passion to help people. And as soon as he had seen Morro in the pathetic state he had been abandoned in, Wu quickly claimed him as his responsibility.

He had cared for Morro and had given him everything he thought was best for him. Despite still lacking a mother, Morro had developed an unbreakable bond with Wu. If his brother was ready to let his son go, should Garmadon be ready too?

"Dragon Willows Academy is a prestigious institution," Misako spoke after a small pause of silence. "I promised myself that I'd give Kai and Nya the best education that was possible. When I came across this school, I knew it was the one. And that it could help Lloyd and Morro too."

"How?" Garmadon asked, still not trusting the world with his son's well being. "How can a boarding school help Lloyd?"

"I just want him to get away from all these court visits and this two house system," came Misako's weak whisper, motherly desperation leaking into her tone. "I want him to have a positive environment to live in."

For the past eight years ever since their separation, Misako had rarely ever asked Garmadon for his help. Today, on the account of being the father of her son, she stood there, pleading for his approval. She wasn't going to snatch Lloyd from him. She wanted to help him. And he wanted to do the same.

Garmadon sighed again. "Very well."

Outside, Morro gritted his teeth, his nails digging into his palms. "Oh no, they don't!" he hissed before throwing open the door and charging into the room, leaving an astonished Lloyd in his wake.

"I'm not going anywhere!" the teen barked, stomping hardly on the floor as he walked.

"Morro!" Wu glared fiercely at his son, silently admonishing his rude behavior. He was ignored, however.

"How can you just agree to something like this without consulting us first?" Morro complained, hitting his chest with his pointer finger.

"You must accept that whatever we decide is for your own good," Wu put forth, his voice hard and stern. "Your pride and inexperience cloud your vision and you can no longer see if where you're treading is the right path or not."

"Oh and I suppose you can tell me the right from wrong," the boy spat sarcastically. "Clouded or not, it's my vision! It's my life! I should at least have a say in it!"

"He's right!"

Everyone turned to see Lloyd finally come out of hiding and rush into the living room. Misako moved to hug him but he stepped back to avoid her, shaking his head. Neglecting the hurt look on his mother's face, Lloyd directed his seething gaze at his father.

"When have you guys ever considered what we want?" Lloyd said after getting an approving look from Morro. "We told you we wanted to attend school but you taught us at home. We didn't wanna do all this training but you still made us do it. And now that we've finally gotten used to all your planning, you wanna shove us into a boarding school?"

Garmadon seldomly showed patience when spoken to in such a way but he tried to let others realize the mistake for themselves. He waited till his son was done before calmly stating, "Your mother and uncle both have a point, Lloyd. I too want you to face the world and forget all the sorrows of our broken family. Being sheltered like this may not be healthy for you."

Lloyd saw red. Was his father actually protecting him from something he had started? Why was he always the victim of his parents' foolishness? "Well, you should've thought of that before you two separated!"

"Silence!" Garmadon lashed out, flying off the handle again. "Stay in your limits! I will not tolerate raised voices and disrespect!"

Lloyd fell silent, his chest heaving from the outburst. He glared daggers at his parents. Misako looked tortured as if she wanted to hold him tight in her arms and never let go but she couldn't. Lloyd told himself that she and his father didn't deserve him. They never had. That's why they were apart like this.

His mind was racing. Tears lined his eyes. He had no sense of good or bad anymore. Everything just felt wrong. He didn't even notice when Morro put a comforting hand on his shoulder. When he spoke, his voice came out watery and choked.

"If you wanna get rid of me, then instead of all this, just say that I'm a burden on both of you."

"No . . ." Misako began but trailed off as Lloyd pushed Morro's hand away and ran out of the room. Kyle, who had been obediently waiting outside all this time, whined at his owner's dashing figure and followed after him, ears drooping.

It wasn't until after the door upstairs slammed shut did Morro give the three adults a battered glance. Eyes moist and fists clenched, he too left without another word, heading for his cousin's bedroom.

"I never knew the world scared them this much," Wu muttered after Morro had gone, worry and solemnity etched upon his face. Misako fell back onto the couch, head in her hands while Garmadon turned away and massaged his forehead.

"And it's all our fault."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

A wet patch formed atop the pillow's surface, Lloyd's tear-stained face pressed against it as he lay on his side. Expression neutral and a distance in his eyes, the boy stroked his collie's dark fur who laid next to him in bed. The action almost seemed mechanical but Kyle didn't mind.

"Maybe we should leave," Morro spoke from the end of the bed where he sat with his arms around his knees. "It's better to go away than live in a prison for the rest of your life."

Lloyd stopped petting Kyle, shifting to lie on his back instead. His mind wandered through the possibilities of actually leaving home. He wondered what they would find. What was it like to live with both your parents? What was it like to have real friends?

"Morro?" the blonde mumbled.

"Hm?"

"Do you think there are other kids like us? Kids who are broken?"

Morro stopped to think, obliviously playing with the streak of green in his dark hair. "Everyone's broken in their own way, I think. Some get it rougher than others, some get it easier."

"Do you think Kai and Nya are broken too?"

"Maybe."

Lloyd hummed, intertwining his fingers on his stomach. "I wanna meet them, not gonna lie. I wanna know what they're like."

Opposing their parents seemed pointless now. He and Morro had tested it to be futile. Sometimes going with the flow is the only option you have. They had gone along with everything else their parents had burdened them with. This shouldn't be difficult either. The silent treatment proved to be almost effective against parents.

After all, what were they even afraid of?

Both of them raised eyebrows when Misako's voice rang out from downstairs, telling Lloyd that keeping all fighting aside, there was no way he was getting out of meeting his foster siblings so he'd better freshen up and come down.

Morro couldn't help but grin. "Looks like your wish just came true."

"That's a first," Lloyd joked, sitting up and feeling like himself for a bit. He nudged his dog to get up and proceeded to groom his hair that had become untidy again.

"Come on, Kyle. Home number two awaits."

"Woof!"

"Got your bags?" Morro wondered, glancing about the room in search of the mentioned items.

"Yeah, they're downstairs."

Lloyd finished up and approached Morro, extending his arm for a fist bump. "See you in two weeks, M."

"See ya." Morro bumped his fist with Lloyd's before reaching over and rubbing Kyle's belly as a goodbye gesture. The collie yelped thankfully. He reached up and lathered Morro's face with saliva before jumping off the bed after Lloyd.

"You gonna say 'yes' to the school, then?" the blonde questioned, stopping at the door and ignoring the dog who kept getting between his legs in his excitement.

"Do we have a choice?" Morro smiled sardonically.

"Nope, it's only one way down."

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Yay! The first chappy! I'm gonna add these little back stories of all the characters before jumping into their chaos at DWA.

Updates may or may not be slow depending on how hectic my upcoming exams are.

This is my first time writing an AU book and a school one at that so I'm excited to work on it and test my limits to see how far I can go. Trying new things can be so thrilling at times.

The title is taken from "Broken Ones" by Anna Clendening and Illenium.

Thank you for being as excited for this as I am. It really gives me motivation. ❤️😊

Have some candy! 🍭🍬🍭🍬🍭