A/N: Huge thanks to Renowned-Wolf

Scene opens on you arriving at the IMP office with Dusk in tow as Moxxie greets you.

Moxxie: Hey, you two. What brings you around, Dusk?

Dusk: Mommy and Mara went with Charlie and Vaggie for a spa day.

Y/N: Mom asked me to watch her today.

Moxxie: Is this really the safest place for a child?

Y/N: Verosika, Dani, and the others will be more than happy to look after her. Come on, Dusk. You get to spend all day with Verosika.

Dusk: Yay!

You leave the office to take Dusk to Verosika's studio where Dani can be heard squeeing in reaction.

Dani: (from across the hall) She's so cute!

Back in the office Moxxie, Loona, and Millie see Blitzo setting up a small catapult, loaded with a pie, and tying a string from it to the doorknob.

Loona: Uh, Blitzo?

Millie: What are you doing?

Moxxie: Why is there a pie?

Blitzo: You'll see.

You grab the doorknob and turn it as Millie and Moxxie go wide-eyed upon realizing what's going on. Before they can do anything, you open the door which pulls the string triggering the catapult.

L&M&M: Y/N!

Y/N: Shit!

Fortunately at the last second you Matrix dodge and are untouched by the pie.

Blitzo: Oh, what the fuck?!

Y/N: There better be a good fucking reason for that!

Blitzo: Calm down. It's just a prank, bro.

Y/N: You're pulling that shit now?!

Loona: What the fuck, Blitzo?!

Blitzo: What? It's April Fool's Day.

You, Loona, Millie, and Moxxie look at the calendar and simultaneously groan.

Y/N, L, M, & M: Fuck my life.

The day goes on with you, Loona, Millie, and Moxxie dealing with Blitz-O's shitty fucking pranks. Millie unknowingly sits on a whoopee cushion which Blitz-O laughs at causing Millie to throw a paperweight at him.

Blitzo: It's a prank, bro.

Moxxie sorts files into a cabinet then walks away only to slip on butter Blitzo put on the floor causing Moxxie to fall and hit the back of his head.

Moxxie: GODDAMNIT!

Blitzo: Hahaha!

Moxxie: (flipping the bird) FUCK YOU!

Blitzo: It's a prank, bro.

Later, Loona is adding cream to her coffee only for the cream to explode when she opens it, covering her in paint.

Loona: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Blitzo: HA! Got ya, Loonie!

Loona throws her coffee mug at Blitz-O's face.

Blitzo: Hey! Calm down, it's a prank, bro!

Loona throws more objects at Blitz-O, scaring him off before you hug Loona from behind and help her clean the paint off.

Meanwhile in Verosika's studio she and the other girls are helping Dusk try on different outfits and doing her makeup.

Verosika: Just have to add a little eyeshadow and perfect. What do you think, Dusk?

Dusk looks at herself in the mirror and can't contain herself.

Dusk: I love it!

She hugs Verosika who picks her up and tightly embraces her while the others admire their work and fawn over how cute Dusk is.

Verosika: Only the best for my baby sister.

She nuzzles her.

Tex: Y/N's gonna love this.

Dusk: I'm gonna show him now!

Verosika puts Dusk back down and she heads to the IMP office.

Dani: I feel sorry for whoever tries to date her in the future.

Tex: Ha! They'll have to get past Y/N.

Out in the hall Dusk opens the IMP office door and steps inside.

Dusk: Hey, Y/N! I-

Unfortunately she's cut off by a bucket of water falling on her ruining her makeup and outfit and leaving her soaked. Blitz-O laughs at his prank as Dusk starts crying, making you barge in.

Y/N: Dusk!

You rush over and pick Dusk up into a hug.

Y/N: It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay.

You rub Dusk's back in an effort to calm her down as Loona, who's still cleaning off paint, rushes in followed by Millie and Moxxie as Verosika kicks open the door and is followed by Vortex and the rest of her crew.

Blitzo: Oh, quit whining. It's just a prank, bro.

You hand Dusk to Verosika, who comforts her, then turn to Blitz-O in a whole other dimension of pissed off.

Y/N: (demonic) WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, YOU FRIENDLESS HORSE FUCKER?!

Blitzo: (fearfully) Hey, relax! It's just a prank, bro!

Y/N: Dumping a bucket of water on my little sister and making her cry isn't a prank!

Blitzo: Sure it is.

Y/N: Being a cunt and saying "it's a prank, bro" doesn't magically make it funny!

Blitzo: Well I thought it was funny.

Your eye twitches before wrapping your hand around Blitz-O's neck, making him shit himself, and pull him off screen. Cut to outside where Blitzo has his hands and feet tied behind his back and hanging from a streetlight.

Y/N: There, you've been pranked. Pretty funny, huh?

Blitzo: Haha! Yeah, you sure got me. You can untie me now.

Y/N: Eh, fuck that.

Blitzo: WHAT?!

Y/N: Relax, it's a prank, bro.

Blitzo: Okay, okay, you've made your point! GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!

Y/N: Calm down, it's a prank, bro.

After a couple hours, Blitz-O is still hanging from the streetlight and is nodding off, going in and out of sleep, until something flies by scratching his head waking back up.

Blitzo: What the fuck?!

He looks and sees it was an arrow that flew past him then he hears people laughing and turns to the rooftop and sees you with IMP and Verosika's crew laughing with Dusk holding a bow and wearing a quiver of arrows on her back.

Blitzo: The fuck are you doing?!

Y/N: Making good on my promise to teach Dusk archery.

Blitzo: You serious?!

Y/N: Don't worry, if she hits you she loses. (to Dusk) Try to hit him.

Dusk smiles and draws her bow with a new arrow and lets loose just barely missing Blitz-O and draws another arrow.

Blitzo: Ok, I've learned my lesson. Honest!!!

Dusk fires another arrow.

Blitzo: Loonie, Sweetie, a little help here?!

Loona: Blep

Dusk draws her last arrow as you kneel behind her.

Y/N: Relax, it's just a target. Clear your mind, breath in, feet solid. Steady yourself, exhale and release.

Dusk does as instructed and hits her target.

Blitzo: (pained) AHHH!!!

Dusk: Yay!

IMP and Verosika's crew: OH!

Everyone reacts by doubling over and putting their hands over their crotches and letting out mixtures of pained groans and laughter.

Tex: Remind me not to get on your bad side.

Ace: That is so messed up.

Loona: Even I felt that.

Later that evening everyone is closing up and Blitz-O, who's still hanging by the streetlight, hears the rope being cut right before he falls to the ground where he looks up to see you.

Y/N: We done with this shit?

Blitzo: Yeah, we done.

Y/N: Alright.

You drag Blitz-O back to the office.

Y/N: You're gonna kneel down to Dusk and beg for forgiveness.

Blitzo: That's fair.

End of chapter