The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that I wasn't in my bed. The sheets, unlike mine, were red and the bathroom light that I usually left on was off.

A delicious aroma invaded me, it took me a few minutes to remember that the scent that made me think of a bonfire on the beach belonged to Zaziel. One by one the images from the previous night appeared, I could still feel the heat of my mate against my body.

Was that just a memory?

No, it wasn't.

Zaziel's arm was around my bare waist and his chest was pressed against my back. I had never felt as relaxed as I did in that moment wrapped in his presence.

It was just right. It took me a while to accept it but I belonged there, in Zaziel's arms, and he belonged next to me. Our mate bond united us in such a way that for me to think of a life without him after having met him was impossible.

Perhaps, once I was brave enough we could seal the bond. However, I still had something to figure out for myself, I needed to overcome my fear of commitments.

"Are you awake?" Zaziel's raspy voice sounded behind me.

"Barely," I answered, giving his hand a squeeze.

Zaziel kissed the back of my shoulder. "How do you feel, kitten?"

He sounded different in the morning, his usual cooky attitude seemed to be still asleep, in his place was the sweet version of Zaziel.

"Wonderful."

The relaxation that came from having released all the desire that I had been holding in couldn't be compared to anything.

"It's nice to know that my good service is appreciated." Smug Zaziel started coming back. He caressed my waist and kissed me behind my ear.

I gave him a little hit on the arm. "How long have you been awake?"

"Not much, I woke up to go to the bathroom and since I still didn't feel like getting up I went back to bed." He turned my body until my back touched the mattress. "I would rather enjoy this beautiful view a million times than have to watch Artec and Lion argue."

Zaziel looked down at me as he adjusted his body to his side, then he brushed his fingers against the side of my face slowly, as if he wanted to enjoy every detail.

I took the opportunity to look at his tattoos, it was rare to have the opportunity to fully see the skulls that he had on his arm. I ran my hand over the black ink decorated skin, just enjoying how perfect it looked on his arm.

"What if they come looking for you to go to work?" I asked him.

"No one here has the authority to tell me what to do, so I'm going to stay with you as long as I want." He squeezed my hips and pushed my body against his.

"At least let me go to the bathroom," I said, freeing myself from his arm.

"Take all the time you want, there is an unused toothbrush in the drawer under the sink. I'll go get breakfast." Zaziel stood up from the bed, giving me a perfect view of his perky butt. "I'm so fucking hungry."

Zaziel put on his boxers and some shorts and left the room.

Being alone, I stretched my arms before getting out of bed. I tried to look for my clothes until I remembered that my T-shirt was in Zaziel's office and that my shorts were torn when he ripped them off my body. Luckily my panties were still alive, so I put them on and picked up Zaziel's shirt from the floor.

I looked at myself in the mirror while I brushed my teeth. My red hair seemed like a bird's nest and my body looked very small with Zaziel's shirt on that kept falling off my shoulders. The skin that was exposed was full of marks, hickeys, and even almost imperceptible bruises in the shape of Zaziel's fingers covering my shoulders, collarbones, and neck.

I spit the water into the sink and when I got up I noticed an area of my neck that seemed red. I got closer to the mirror and ran my fingers over the skin, immediately I winced as I felt a stab of pain.

It was a bite mark. On my fucking neck.

My mind short-circuited. I didn't know whether to panic or let out my homicidal rage at Zaziel.

Don't worry, I told myself, it can't be that. If it was a mate mark you would have to feel it.

What if I didn't realize that I was feeling the new connection because I didn't know how it felt?

Fuck, if it was real I was going to kill Zaziel.

The sound of the bedroom door closing brought me back to reality, saving me from the anxiety attack that was beginning to form.

"If you're going to greet me dressed like this every time I bring you breakfast, I'm going to make it a tradition," Zaziel said as I left the bathroom, placing the tray of food on his nightstand.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down.

"Can you explain to me what this mark is?" I asked him, almost shouting.

Zaziel approached me, raised his eyebrow, and tilted his head to look at my neck. "It's a bite mark," he said like it was no big deal.

"I was able to guess that on my own. What I want to know is what it means."

"It means that you have a delicious neck and I wanted to bite it." Zaziel grabbed me by the waist, pressed my body against his, and started kissing my neck.

I pushed him. "I'm being serious."

"Me too." He looked confused until suddenly his eyes flashed with recognition. "Shit. I forgot about that. Don't worry, it's just a regular bite, I swear I wasn't trying to scare you."

My body relaxed. "You can't go around biting other people's necks, it almost gave me a heart attack." I hit his arms several times.

"Sorry, I was too horny to think." He held my face and kissed me softly. "I would never seal the mate bond without your permission. I promise."

The sincerity I saw in his eyes restored my peace of mind. I believed him without a doubt, even though I knew Zaziel wasn't the kind of person who always told the truth, I chose to believe that he wouldn't lie to me.

He would never do something like that to us, my wolf told me. I felt the same, Zaziel was a murderer, the leader of the most dangerous group that had ever existed, and yet, I knew that he would never hurt me, at least not on purpose.

"It's not like I never want to seal the bond," I confessed, pushing Zaziel's hands away from my face and holding them in mine. "I would like to do it in the future, once I am ready. I don't think I am ready right now to accept such a big responsibility, I am afraid of being betrayed once again."

He hugged me and I rested my head on his chest. The sound of his heartbeat calmed me completely, I could have fallen asleep at that moment.

"It's okay, sweetheart, I understand. I'm scared too, I don't want to drag you into my dangerous life and lose you."

Was Zaziel afraid too? I would have thought that it was impossible, he always seemed invincible, reckless, the kind of wolf that could destroy anyone's life in a second, and never suffer the consequences because he had no weak points.

"I thought you had no weakness," I told him.

"Me too, until you appeared in my life." Zaziel broke the hug and kissed my forehead before walking to the tray of food. "Enough sentimentality for now. You should eat first to get your energy back."

The aroma of breakfast convinced me to return to bed. I sat next to Zaziel, with my back against the headboard and my legs crossed.

Food became my priority, chasing away all the doubts that had attacked me. Nobody was rushing me, my mate was not judging me, that gave me the strength to decide to face my fears little by little.

I would never get over the past if I insisted on keeping it in the shadows, it was necessary to bring it to light and accept things for what they are.

"How is it?" Zaziel asked me, pointing to my plate.

"Perfect, I didn't know I was so hungry until I took the first bite."

"I'm glad to know I was of some help," he said, wiping the side of my mouth with a napkin.

"You are very helpful, since I met you, you have been helping me even without realizing it."

The smile that Zaziel gave me at that moment was the most beautiful I had ever seen. It was a smile of pure happiness and it looked perfect on his face.

"By the way, this came for you." Zaziel handed me a small box. "Klaus has already checked that it is not dangerous. But if you want we can throw it away without opening it."

"It's okay, I want to see what's in it."

I opened the box slowly, the fact that the identity of the person who sent it was unknown worried me a little, but I was too curious not to take a look.

The contents were exposed, there were two knives, a clamp, and a whip.

"Kitten, are you okay?"

Zaziel's worried voice made me realize that I was shaking. My entire body was trapped in a sense of paralyzing fear. I wanted to throw the box away from me, I wanted to scream and cry, but I couldn't move.

"Sweetheart, please, what's wrong?" He sounded scared, but I couldn't reach him to tell him what was happening to me.

Zaziel's warmth was still next to me, yet I could barely feel it. The ghosts that took over my mind were stronger than his presence.

I could only keep looking at the objects of my past, wishing that someone would get rid of them.

Thanks to Moon Goddess Zaziel reacted by taking the box from my hands. His gentle touch kept me from jumping in fear. He carefully carried it away and after the box was out of my sight, Zaziel pulled me towards him in a hug.

"You're safe, I already hid it and I promise I'll get rid of it as soon as possible," he said, showering me with kisses between words. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know." My weak voice is almost drowned in the noise of my crying.

"I have always been a rogue. My father was sick and no one wanted such a weak wolf in their pack. My mother had been orphaned when she was very young, she lived on the streets, and after years of selling her body to eat, she understood that she was going to be better out of her pack." He paused before continuing. "Being a rogue at that time meant that they didn't have a home, protection, nor could they meet the basic needs to live. I don't know the story of how they met but I do know that they lived in the middle of the forest, always afraid of not being able to survive. For them having a child was a complication rather than a blessing, but they did their best to take care of me anyway."

I looked up at him without understanding why he was telling me that. I was so focused on understanding his story that it took me a while to realize that I had stopped crying.

"They expected me to be as weak as my father so they overprotected me as much as they could, until my father's illness began to prevent him from doing normal activities. I was seven at the time and it was the first time I had to go hunting to eat."

"Did you have your first shift so young?"

"No, I had to hunt in my human form."

I squeezed his hand and waited for him to continue his story.

"Rogues were considered outcasts to the rest, as well as easy prey. We suffered attacks from wolves from different packs almost every day. No matter how many times we changed locations, they always found us. I had to do something to protect my family, so after my first shift, I started training as best I could. The first few times I rebelled against our attackers didn't end well for me, but over time I improved and discovered that my wolf is stronger than the others, an alpha wolf." Zaziel started stroking my hair. "I became a threat to them. One day when I returned from hunting I found that my parents had been murdered."

"I'm sorry, how old were you at that time?"

"Fifteen. I found the culprits and for the first time I killed a person. Not only did I kill my parents' murderers but I also killed their alpha. That was Lion's pack, he was mistreated there, and he decided to follow me after that. We started to help the other rogues, and little by little our group began to form. The members of the inner circle were the first to follow me."

"Why did you tell me all this now?" I asked him, laying my head on his chest.

"Because I thought it wouldn't be fair of me to wait for you to tell me about your past if I didn't do the same."

I wasn't ready to go into details about everything I had suffered, yet I wanted to share some of it with Zaziel.

"My family sent me that box, the objects inside were the ones they used to torture me," I confessed as my hands started shaking again. "I was only three years old when my uncle murdered my father, from that moment on they took care of breaking me so that I couldn't escape. First it was my uncle, but when my cousins grew up they took his place. My cousin, Violet, and her mate, Norman, were the ones who enjoyed torturing me the most."

I couldn't continue speaking, the words were drowned in my anguish, and without fear of showing my vulnerability, I let all the crying come out.

Zaziel held me while I screamed and cried inconsolably. He caressed my back and without saying anything he accompanied me while I completely relieved myself.

When I had no more tears, fatigue came crashing down my body. Protected by Zaziel's warmth, I closed my eyes.

"We are going to make them suffer twice as much as you suffered," he whispered as I was about to fall asleep. "They will regret it, kitten, I promise you."