Prologue

In the Hufflepuff common room there sat a girl, in front of her was the diary she had kept for many years, filled with blank pages, never had it been used until this evening as she sat at one of the small tables, her quilt wrapped around her and her sandy brown hair falling over her shoulders.

The frown on her lips was one of a rare sight, she wasn't usually like this, sad, upset, heartbroken, in some instance, but torn, too.

The pages of the diary where roughly flipped as she wrote furiously, her hand aching but she didn't feel it, she was too preoccupied with spilling her feelings onto the pages in front of her, looking for an escape from the terrible irritation she felt.

Dear Diary, it wrote

can you believe that I'm here, writing in you like the pathetic girl that I am? I hate that I opened you, that I am writing in you, but I can't seem to stop myself, I needed a way to vent, to rant, to scribble down my terrible feelings that I should not have.

I do not hate Lily Evans, I think that is impossible, the kind girl, the bright eyes, beautiful hair, of course I can't hate her, but why does Caden have to like her? Part of me wishes that she was a horrible human being, that my jealousy could be justified, that my irritation for the pair together was all because she didn't deserve my best friend, but I simply can't justify my jealousy for nothing other than the fact that I am pathetically in love with my best friend.

Why?

Why did my fate have to be this? Why couldn't I fall in love with a handsome stranger and we could travel the world for the rest of our life, why couldn't I fall in love with a student, maybe a Gryffindor or a Slytherin that could handle my "oddness" as Aubrey calls it, it's annoying!

Caden deserves happiness, all I wish for was that he found that happiness with me, I wished for him to be mine, as cliché as it sounds, merlin, I am so pathetic. He is off most days, I see him a lot but even Aubrey has noticed that he has taken a liking to Lily Evans' friends, the girls she is very close with, popular, beautiful, one of them goes out with Sirius Black, that's Adria, she's the kindest girl I have ever met.

The group of them are incredible people, I couldn't think of a bad word to speak of them, but that doesn't help my annoyance with the fact that Lily Evans' is the girlfriend of the boy I have been in love with since first year.

It was so unexpected if I do say so myself, one minute the three of us, myself, Aubrey and Caden where walking down the halls, laughing our heads off at something Aubrey had told us about her Christmas last year, back when we were fourth years, and soon did Caden collide with none other than Lily Evans, furiously picking up the things that had dropped from both of their hands, bumping heads (which was pretty hilarious) but what was not hilarious was the blushes on their faces as their eyes met.

Merlin, I could make a romance novel out of it!

Not that I want to, I'd be sobbing as I wrote it. The house elves are worried about me, say that I'm eating far too much ice cream, I can't help it though, I'm sulking, I told them that but they said a healthy bowl of fruit would be better suited.

Maybe they're trying to tell me something.

It spiralled from there, Caden was off most nights, we couldn't find him anywhere for weeks, but then Aubrey, as did myself have enough, we had been waiting for him in the library for what seemed like hours, and decided to go looking for him.

Only to find him snogging Lily Evans in an isolated hallway, talk about crushed.

Not soon after did they announce their relationship, now all we hear is their dates with Adria and Sirius, can't say it's not frustrating but the smile on his face melts my heart every time I see it, it's simply impossible to be mad.

And I have no right to, either!

The most recent thing was how intelligent Lily was, and the way she always supported him with anything that he done, although I know for a fact that Adria Hopkins isn't too fond of the fact that her best friend wears a Ravenclaw scarf to quidditch games to support him, I'd not be too fond either, but then again, I'm guilty of wearing both a Ravenclaw Scarf and a Slytherin hat when he and Aubrey go head to head.

Can't say the Hufflepuff's are too fond of that either.

The most annoying thing with all of this is the times that Lily spends time with myself and Aubrey, hilarious, she is, able to make us cry with laughter, it's as though she isn't with the boy I love, but a best friend I've known my whole life.

I'm torn.

I do not hate Lily Evans.

But I do hate my love for Caden Duncan.