*suggested song: leaving the lights on by etham basdem*

*also prepare for the feels sorry in advance*

~~~

Eden stays by the window for a moment, her mind reeling as she tries to catch up to what's just happened.

Her frustration reached a peak; she lost her temper; Harry left.

Harry left.

Her worst fear may be coming true. Her words from earlier echo in her mind, sitting at the restaurant with Harry while trying to contemplate letting him tag along on her roadtrip.

"What if things between you and I go sour? I would feel horrid if either of us ended up stranded somewhere because of me."

She'd been more right than she'd like to admit; she does feel horrid. The burning in her stomach is proof of that. Her forehead gently thumps against the wall as she closes her eyes and tries to fight the guilt settling onto her shoulders.

Hold on now, don't be so dramatic. Surely he'll be back soon, it was one little fight.

She exhales and lifts her head, doing her best to try and see the positives. Maybe she's right and Harry will come back.

But then her eyes catch sight of his laptop open on the table near the door. She pauses, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she contemplates peeking.

She knows she shouldn't, but he would never have to know, right? He'd come back and they'd talk things through, and she would never have to worry about snitching on herself.

And in any case, her curiosity has been begging for answers for days now. Despite Harry's magnetic ability to coax information out of Eden with a simple look, he was more stoic and harder to read. She barely knows anything about him - just two measly fears, where he's from, and that he's been the perfect friend. Maybe a little too perfect.

If she was going to find out anything, she couldn't rely on him to tell her. And if he wanted to snoop through her list, then she has every right to reciprocate.

She inches forward, glancing through the curtains again to make sure he isn't back before she takes a seat at the table and tugs the computer forward. On the screen is a Word document, and a lengthy one at that; it looks as though he's been writing a novel or something. She begins to read but her innocent curiosity quickly melts into a mild sensation of horror as her eyes speed across the screen, only picking up the briefest of phrases.

"A hopeless journey . . . lost cause . . . caught up in a fantasy . . . no sense of self . . . crazy."

That last word stabs through any resolve she had left. Big, fat, hot, angry tears well up in her eyes. He told her she wasn't crazy; made her feel that she'd done her best to cope with feeling trapped. Her horror only grows when she sees the document is dated just the day after she and Harry met; from the day he convinced her to let him join.

Yet here he'd been, apparently writing about her for days, calling her a lunatic and tearing down every beautiful thing she built up. The betrayal she feels is disgusting; overwhelming; the burning in her stomach turns to a heavy pit and she's stricken with the need to vomit. Her veins buzz and the room starts to blur around her as she pushes herself away from the desk, tripping over the chair as she does so. Distraught, she stumbles into the bathroom and sicks into the toilet, now unable to keep from sobbing uncontrollably.

The cold bathroom floor provides little comfort as she slumps onto the ground, quickly melting into a full-on panic. Her ragged breathing echoes around the small room, harshly thrown back to her ears by the bare walls. She leans against the wall and hides her face in her knees, inhaling and exhaling rhythmically until her hyperventilation slowly subsides.

The sudden burst of emotion seems to have brought her a new sense of clarity. Her face is burning hot and her eyes sore from crying, but her mind feels crystal clear. Her eyes narrow and she drags herself off the bathroom floor, now feeling calculated.

She needs a plan, a way to confront Harry.

Eden Edwards is done being pushed around; done being treated as though she doesn't matter. If she could stand up to mean ol' Forsythe and quit that terrible job, she can sure as hell challenge Harry on what is apparently his true perception of her. She stomps back into the hotel room and methodically goes about collecting her stuff, taking her time packing her bag until she notices a figure outside in the parking lot. A quick glance at the clock tells her almost a full hour has passed since Harry left, but from the height and gait of the person as they walk across the lot, she knows he's returned.

Abandoning her packing, she moves his laptop to the bed and stands defiantly next to it, arms crossed and face rigid. Her heart jumps as the lock on the door clicks and it swings open to reveal a calm-looking Harry. He flashes her an apologetic grimace and gently shuts the door behind him.

"Hey," he says breathlessly.

Eden doesn't say anything, and his eyes immediately dart to his open computer and then back to Eden as she stands next to the bed. He speeds across the room and slams the laptop shut, his eyes glued to her as she glares back at him.

"How much did you read?" he whispers, the corners of his eyes slanting down in a knowing guilt. A small part of her appreciates that he doesn't try to deny what she saw, but it's quickly overshadowed by her immense hurt.

"Enough," she spits back. "A lost cause? No sense of self? Crazy? How could you write those things about me?"

Harry fidgets uncomfortably, hands tugging at his sleeves and eyes glued to the carpet. "Eden, you don't understand," he begins in quiet protest.

"I don't want to understand," she replies, her fury building. Her words begin to warble as she struggles to keep her voice even. "Who are you, really?"

Harry rolls his lips together but doesn't answer.

"Damn it, Harry, just fucking tell me!" she demands, suddenly screaming at him. She has to scream, because if she doesn't she'll be unable to resist the urge to start swinging.

"A reporter," he answers in a low voice, his lips barely moving. "I'm a reporter from England."

"That's why you're here." Her throat tightens in realization.

He nods in confirmation. Eden suddenly feels dirty; shameful; naked. Harry's taken the most vulnerable parts of her and draped them on display for God-knows-how-many-people to see. She clenches her teeth together and tries to keep her voice from breaking as she asks, "Why?"

He's somehow brave enough to look her in the face. "I came here as an assignment for work. I was about to leave and then . . . I met you by chance."

"And let me guess - I'm your next biggest story," she sneers. The shameful glint in his eyes tells her she's exactly on target. "Well you can forget about finishing this trip with me, and you can forget about your stupid fucking story because I'm leaving."

Harry stands there and watches her throw the rest of her things together with a pained expression on his face. "Eden, please don't do this," he pleads quietly.

"And don't you dare think about following me to Niagara," she snarls, dumping the last of her stuff into her bag and hastily zipping it shut. "Find your own way out of here because I'm leaving."

His face contorts in surprise and he steps forward, hand outstretched to her. "Eden, wait!"

"D-Don't touch me!" she just about yells, angry tears skipping fast down her full cheeks. She lugs her bag to the door and flings it open. "Goodbye, Harry."

Not allowing him another chance to lie to her, Eden stomps out the door and slams it shut behind her, effectively turning her journey into a solo mission once again.

***

She drives until she can't; until her vision is blurred with hot tears and she's gasping for air. She pulls over on the side of a lone highway, parking her car under a solitary yellow streetlight and slumping back into her seat. Her skin crawls and her blood boils as she sputters to breathe.

The radio, something she hadn't been paying attention to until now, suddenly fills the car with the familiar beginning chords of "Bad Liar", and Eden feels her stomach twist violently.

"No!" she sobs aloud, slamming her fist on the power switch and not caring whether or not she's just broken her radio. Roaring silence takes over but the tears in her eyes don't leave.

She bangs her fists against the steering wheel, screaming in agony. How dare Harry make her feel like this - so out of control, so anguished and alone. So stupid.

The shaking of the car with the force of her fists causes the list to fall from her visor and flutter down into her lap. Eden stops, picking up the list and studying it through watery vision.

The cause of all her troubles; the bane of her existence. If only she'd stayed in Moore Haven, stayed in the comfortable. How could something so small and weightless have made such a deep impact on her in a matter of weeks? Her chest feels tight, like someone's just kicked her in the sternum and left a gaping boot print behind.

Amenkha was wrong: Eden couldn't trick herself into being brave. She would never be able to. She'd tried and tried, but she would never be more than a miserable coward.

She releases another heartbreaking sob and shreds the list in her hands before throwing the pieces into the floor of the passenger seat.

Item Twelve - Let my Heart Break

~~

this really hurt me to write but now the truth is out :c

what's your thoughts? is eden's reaction justified? why do you think harry kept his job a secret?