"And she liked it," Allan finishes, grinning so wide his smile reaches his eyes. "Well, she didn't say it in those exact words, there were a lot a harsh criticisms in between, but I feel good about this assignment, I just have to revise it."

Sabina smiles and clinks her glass with his. "That's great, Dad. I'm really happy for you."

"Okay, enough yapping about me." Her father leans forward and stares at her expectantly, opening his palms. "Well?"

Sabina sips her drink. "Well, what?"

Her father gives her a flat look. "Aren't you going to tell me about Tristan and Brandon?"

Sabina had a busy week at work. She's exhausted, she's about to have her period, and she just wants a bubble bath, but her dad complained about not seeing her since the holidays and Sabina may be many things, but she's not a bad daughter.

She sighs. "There's nothing to say, Dad. He treats me well."

Allan raises an eyebrow. "And you?"

Sabina scowls at him. "You think I beat him up for breakfast?"

Her father shrugs.

Sabina rolls her eyes. "His son loves me. I think that should be enough of an indicator to know how nice I've been to Tristan as his partner."

He smiles and leans back, putting one arm around her shoulder, squeezing it. "I thought you didn't like kids," he mutters.

He says this curiously, like he really doesn't understand.

Sabina supposes she doesn't, either. "I don't." She leans on his shoulder and exhales heavily. "I can't explain it, Dad. Please don't ask me to."

"Okay," he agrees easily, kissing the top of her head. "I just want you to remember something."

"If you're going to say shit about the woman who birthed me, don't bother," Sabina grumbles, drinking again.

He purses his lips. "I just wanted to say you're nothing like her, and if you're afraid you'd be the same to your children—"

Sabina stands up. Her mood has been sour all day, and now—now it's even worse. "My not liking or wanting children has nothing to do with her, it has nothing to do with my childhood or upbringing or how I wish I had a mother who stayed—because I don't. I don't imagine what life is like if she hadn't left and I don't give a shit that she did. I just don't want children, Dad, okay?" She puts down her glass and grabs her bag. "We've talked about this before, and you just keep—" Sabina throws her hands up in the air and scoffs incredulously. "You just keep pushing me into giving you grandkids and that's not what I want."

Allan's features pull together. "Sabina, I just don't understand. I've never understood it when you had that..." he swallows hard. "That abortion after college, and I don't understand it now. If it's help you're worried about, I'm here, and Tristan's here, and he said you're great with Brandon." Her father looks at her and sighs. "Sweetheart, I just want you to be happy."

"And having a kid I don't want is not going to do that," Sabina says. "And we've had this conversation for years, Dad. You just think I'm less of a woman because I don't want to house or nurture or care for a child," Sabina argues, clenching her jaw. She shoulders her bag. "And Tristan has Brandon, and I'm with Tristan, and you don't know whether to be ecstatic that you're getting a grandchild or worried that I might leave him and you won't." She leaves the apartment.

In the car, as she's driving to Tristan's building to pick him up for their movie date, Sabina gets a call from her agent. She pushes the speaker button forcefully and bites out, "What?"

"Sabina, we just got news that your photoshoot this week was canceled."

"What?" she shrieks. "That's—that was a huge gig, what the fuck happened?"

Her agent sighs. "Your interview just came out."

"Which—"

Ah. The interview where she spoke about women and being bi.

Sabina clenches her jaw. "Pieces of shits."

"We told you to be careful with what you say."

"No. You tell them to cancel it all they want and shove it up their fucking assholes. I don't want to work with any publication that's transphobic and homophobic. Wow. Jesus."

"Sabina, in this industry, sometimes—"

"This industry can go fuck itself, I will not be tolerating any disrespect to basic human rights. You can either fire me or find me another gig. Thank you." Sabina punches the end call button.

She parks the car in front of Tristan's building and almost rams into the gutter. She punches the keypad with her nails and messages him. Im here

Sabina shuts her eyes and rubs her forehead, trying to calm herself down.

Tristan steps out of the lobby, shoving his hands inside his jacket pockets. When he gets in the passenger seat, he leans over and kisses her on the lips. "Hey." He smiles.

Sabina had been looking forward to this date for a few days. They both had. And now she's pissed off and she just wants to eat ice cream and curl in bed and watch a Korean drama or something.

She tries to give him a smile but it only comes out as her looking like she wants to shit. "Hi."

Tristan's smile fades. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Where do you wanna eat first, I'm starving."

Her hand goes to pull the gear stick out of park, but Tristan puts his hand over hers. "Kyle. Tell me what's wrong."

"I'm starving, that's what's wrong," Sabina snaps, pushing his hand away. "Now, where do you want to eat?"

"Stop that." He holds on to the gear stick and stares her down. "You're cranky as hell and you're acting out, tell me."

"God, you're so annoying," Sabina snaps, forcefully tearing her hand away from his and pushing her body back to the window. "What, should I share everything with you now? I just said I was hungry and I asked you where you wanted to eat, and now you're telling me I'm cranky—of course I'm going to be cranky, stop pushing me and just, God, I'm fucking hungry and I want food, okay? So just stop."

Tristan stares at her.

Breathing heavily, Sabina shuts her mouth.

He raises one eyebrow.

Sabina bites her cheek and crosses her arms over her chest, looking away with a huff.

Even pissed off and irrational, she thinks it's hot how Tristan can shut her up with a stare.

"Your dick is big," Sabina says angrily.

His blue eyes are still boring into hers. He tilts his head to the side. "Are you angry or happy about that?"

"What do you think?" she snaps.

He raises an eyebrow at her again.

Sabina groans loudly. "God, fuck, fine. My dad thinks I'm crazy for not wanting a kid, he keeps associating my having an absent mother with it when it's fucking simple—I don't want children. Period. God. And then I got pulled out of a photoshoot because of my interview, you know, the one where I said I was bi, and that trans women are women, and I'm just fucking pissed off and I'm hungry and I'm about to have my period, my body hurts. And you're annoying."

Tristan finally lets go of the gear stick. "Let's go upstairs."

Sabina huffs. "I want a bubble bath and ice cream."

"Okay." He turns off the engine and steps out of the car. He opens Sabina's door and gives her his hand.

Sabina stares at him with an angry frown and takes it.

He strokes the back of her hand while they wait for the elevator.

In his unit, it's quiet because Brandon and Ian are asleep already, and Tristan supplies the bubble bath in their small bathtub, and it's so small Sabina can't stretch her legs, but he's massaging her shoulders and back and it feels nice.

Ice cream and cuddling on the couch with a drama feels nice, too.

Tristan smells good. They smell like each other. Sabina slides her hand under his shirt. She feels a lot calmer now and more relaxed, and she mutters against the cloth of his shirt, "I'm sorry."

"It happens, baby." He kisses her forehead, caressing her back. "You get bad days."

"I called you annoying," Sabina whispers. She feels bad about that.

He chuckles. "It's fine. I find you annoying sometimes, too, but I still love you." Tristan wraps his arms around her. "You just have to talk to Allan," he whispers.

"No."

Tristan rubs her back. "Then just apologize for hurting his feelings. I don't know what you said to him, but I imagine it's nasty if you tried to pick a fight with me. You felt terrible."

Sabina picks at a lint on his shirt. "I hurt his feelings."

Tristan snorts. "I know."

Sabina smacks his chest lightly. And then she kisses his collarbone, fingers dancing on his neck. "I'm sorry we didn't get to have that date."

"We're having one right now," he murmurs, cupping the back of her neck to kiss her head again. "I'm sorry your photoshoot got cancelled."

"Don't be." Sabina snorts. "They're fucking bastards. They can shove their photoshoot up their fucking ass, it's their loss."

Tristan smiles. "I really love you, Kyle."

Sabina presses her fingers in his throat. "Are you sure about that, Bishop?"

He laughs breathily. Sabina lays her head on his chest and hears his heart—it's fast and strong. Loud.

Sure.

*

When Sabina wakes up, she has a dozen text notifications in her group chat with MJ and Andy, and missed calls from each of them.

"Crap." She scrambles out of bed, quickly untangling herself from Tristan's arms, not bothering to be quiet or careful, and runs to the bathroom with her phone.

"Where the hell are you?" MJ snaps angrily once Sabina's called her back. She dumps toothpaste in the extra toothbrush Tristan put aside for her a while ago and hurriedly brushes her teeth. "We've been waiting for you for over half an hour!"

"On my way," she tries to say with foam in her mouth, and she doesn't know if the redhead understood that, but she hangs up and jumps in the shower.

Her entire body hurts and she's on her period and she's late to her best friend's business meeting.

While she's scrambling to get dressed, frustrated from only the few options she has in Tristan's closet, her boyfriend wakes up and sleepily calls out, "Kyle."

Sabina raids his closet. "Where is it, where is it," she mutters.

"Kyle!" Tristan yells, slapping the mattress. "Sabina!"

"What?" Sabina shouts back in irritation, not turning around. "What do you want?!"

"You're mean. Come back to bed," he mutters lazily.

"Aha!" Sabina yells in victory, finding the outfit she left here. She puts on her v-neck Argyle print sleeveless top and skirt set, and slides into her black pumps. Leaning into the mirror, she grabs whatever makeup she can find on Tristan's desk and puts it on, and she dumps her lip gloss and comb in her bag.

She may be late, but she will be late looking amazing.

Sabina barely leaves a kiss on Tristan's cheek. "I'll see you later, hon."

"No," he whines pitifully, face down on his pillow, trying to snatch her hand, but Sabina's already out the door, snatching the spare key on the counter before she leaves.

In Andy's bakeshop, twenty minutes later, MJ sneers when she sees her walking through the door. Andy's body visibly relaxes in relief. "Finally."

"I'm sorry," Sabina says, scraping back a chair and brushing her hair away from her face. "My alarm didn't go off and neither did your calls."

The ginger narrows her eyes and searches her face. "You don't have your post-orgasm glow so I'll assume you're telling the truth."

Sabina scowls. "Hey, I take work seriously."

MJ smiles sweetly. "By being almost an hour late?"

Sabina opens her mouth to retort, but Andy claps her hands loudly, knowing none of the two is willing to back down first. "Okay, no fighting, babes. Can we just start so we can get on with our day? I know we're all busy."

Sabina waves her hand for MJ to start, and she takes the coffee nearest to her and drinks.

MJ exhales heavily. "Alright. So. As you all know, the 65th Anniversary of the Chaucer-Hyatt Suites is coming up, and we've had a last minute section put in for a runway from The Fit and I've decided for Bake Away to be our event's supplier for the pastries. My team and I were up discussing some ideas and I want to go over them with you guys..."

Sabina spends her whole morning with her friends talking about business, exchanging ideas, what works and what doesn't, and how to go about executing those ideas with their own teams.

When they were in college, Sabina would've never imagined working with her best friends like this.

"Sab, we'll reconvene next week at your HQ, if that's fine," MJ mutters, scribbling it down on her planner. "Send me your availability and I'll try to make it work with my events team."

"No." Sabina puts down her coffee. "Give me your availability and we'll pencil it down. My HQ, but your time."

MJ nods. "Okay. Andy, what about you?"

"I'll go to CH with samples by Wednesday earliest," says the youngest, shrugging. "Just let me know if that's fine."

"Great." MJ closes her planner and exhales, smiling. "I'm so excited!"

Now out of their work modes, Sabina groans. "Did you really have to call this meeting on a Saturday morning? I'm on my first day, bitch."

"Not my fault, ass." MJ grins at her. "You should've asked your hot secretary to come, I know he was in bed with you."

Sabina takes a sip of her coffee. "He said he loves me."

Andy chokes on her donut. "What?"

MJ guffaws loudly.

Sabina rolls her eyes. "Laugh all you want, commitment-phobe."

The redhead's laugh fades. She clears her throat. "Fine. What did you say?"

"I said thank you."

Andy looks scandalized. "You did not!"

MJ snorts. "No, she said something worse."

Sabina picks on the sugar on their table. "I asked him if he was sure."

"Because he must be delusional," MJ says.

Andy smacks her. "Stop it." She leans closer to Sabina and smiles, wagging her eyebrows. "You weren't eating when he said it, were you? Or have gravy all over your mouth? Because Rhysand did that to me, and I want a repeat, but that's not going to happen, so please tell me you weren't stuffing your face."

Sabina scrunches her nose. "We were just cuddling on his couch. A drama was playing."

"That's ordinary," MJ comments, blinking.

"I think it's cute," Andy says, clapping her hands together. Her face is bright and glowing, like she's witnessing a true love story. Sabina grimaces—yuck. "It's an ordinary thing to be on his couch and to cuddle, like it's routine. And he just said it because he was feeling that extraordinary feeling at that ordinary moment."

Sabina raises an eyebrow. "I'm surprised Harton didn't suck the romantic out of you."

She grins wider. "He's romantic. You guys just don't know it."

MJ looks at Sabina and smiles wickedly. "You falling in love yet, ice queen?"

"If I'm going to be in love, I'm going to get dragged kicking and screaming," she answers. "Not falling."

Andy squeals. "Sabina!"

"Oh, shut up." She rolls her eyes and stands up, grabbing her purse. "I'm on my period and I need to lie down and have food and attention. Laters, whores."

"You're a hoe in love," MJ singsongs.

"In love!" Andy repeats gleefully, waving at her.

Sabina rolls her eyes again, shaking her head, and heads back to Tristan's unit.

It's still quiet when she comes in, kicking her shoes off. She imagines both Brandon and Ian are taking advantage of the weekend and sleeping in until noon.

Sluggishly, she heads to Tristan's bedroom, feeling her muscles ache. Her boyfriend has his headphones and camera on when Sabina steps inside his room, dumping her purse on the bed. She's exhausted, and her body hurts, and she doesn't think twice before pushing his seat back and plopping down on his lap for thousands of his viewers to see.

"Whoa, Kyle," he breathes, pushing his headphones down while Sabina crawls in his space, wrapping her arms around him. "I'm streaming, baby," he whispers this to her, pulling the mic away from his mouth.

"I know," Sabina says, burying her head in his neck. "Go play and stream."

Tristan freezes for two seconds before he hears his teammates yell at him, and he's scrambling to put his headphones back on and finding a way to adjust around his computer with a koala around him. He puts one hand on her back, strokes it, and kisses her head. And then he goes back to his game.

Sabina doesn't know how she falls asleep on his lap, hunched over and uncomfortable, and with her boyfriend making noise beside her, but she's groggy and cranky when she comes to, and he's still not done. "I'm hungry," she breathes in his neck.

"For what?" Tristan murmurs.

"Food right now." She plops her chin on his shoulder and whispers in his ear, "Your cock later."

Tristan scrambles to cover his mic. "Kyle," he gasps, eyes wide, looking away from his computer for one second.

"Please, I'm starving," Sabina whines, kissing his neck. "Make me some food, please."

"Five minutes." Tristan kisses her head again and rubs her back. "Five minutes and I'm all yours."

Sabina nods.

When he's done, he throws his headphones on the desk and leans back, cupping her face in his hands. "You okay?"

"My body aches," she mutters. "And I'm starving."

Tristan grins. "You know, I was just screamed at by my teammates the entire game for being whipped. The comments section, too."

"So?" Sabina raises an eyebrow. "Aren't you?"

He laughs loudly and gently pushes her off him, taking her hand to lead her to the kitchen. "I am, you're right. What do you wanna eat, love?"

Sabina lets go of his hand and plops down on a stool, groaning in pain. "I don't know. Anything. Meat."

"Okay." He opens the refrigerator and says, "I have that playdate with Brand and a couple of his friends today, do you want me to drive you back home before that?"

Sabina sighs. "And then you're coming back here to pick him up? That's a waste of gas. I'll come, I wanna see his friends, and I can keep an eye on you. I think a lot of the other parents really call you hot daddy."

Tristan glances at her with furrowed eyebrows. "Babe, you don't feel well."

"It's okay, I think a walk outside will do me good." Sabina smiles, but her boyfriend doesn't lose his frown. "Unless...you don't want me to come?" She feels stupid. God. "Sorry, I didn't know it was a father and son thing."

"No, it's not that." Tristan turns around and faces her, biting his lip. "You're going to be around a lot of kids."

"Obviously." Sabina snorts. "It's a playdate, of course Brandon's friends are kids, too."

"Oh." He nods slowly. "Okay, if that's fine with you."

Sabina stares at him. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Nothing." Tristan smiles at her and turns around again, moving around the kitchen. "Okay, then. Lunch, playdate, and then maybe we can have dinner afterwards."

"Okay," Sabina says, gnawing at her lip.

Did he not want her to come?

Brandon steps out of his room a few minutes with his tablet while Tristan's cooking, and the kid makes a beeline to his father. Tristan bends down to his level so he can kiss his dad's cheek, and then Brandon sits down next to Sabina. "Are you okay?" he asks, big blue eyes blinking.

He's in Iron Man pajamas. Cute.

Sabina feels a stabbing pain in her torso and she bends over the counter, laying her head on the cool surface, face grimacing. "Fuck, I wanna die."

Without looking at her, Tristan says, "Language."

"Oh." She frowns. "Uh, hecky heck, I crave withering."

Tristan huffs out a laugh, shaking his head.

Brandon puts his head down on the table, too, blinking at her. "Did Papa hurt you?"

Sabina blinks. "What?"

"I hear you sometimes," the kid says. "I can hurt Papa if you want."

Sabina looks at Tristan.

Her boyfriend's head is bowed, biting his lip, not meeting her eyes.

Sabina blinks. And then—"Oh. Oh! Oh, God, no, no." She sputters out a series of coughs. "No, baby, no, your Papa's very good, he doesn't hurt me."

Tristan clears his throat. "Brand, Sabina's just feeling a little sick, so don't jump on her, okay?"

Brandon nods eagerly, smiling at her. "Okay. Papa, can I have my milk?"

Sabina gives her boyfriend a wide-eyed look.

Tristan mimes zipping his mouth shut.

Sabina scoffs. The nerve of this guy. Telling her she can't be quiet.

(Can't she?)

Tristan gives Brandon his milk in his sippy cup, and Sabina plays with his hair with her hand while he drinks and plays on his tablet, swinging his legs. Just as the food's ready, Ian trudges out of the bedroom in her jersey shirt, basketball shorts, and black socks, rubbing her eyes. "Oh. She's still here."

"Talk about me like I'm not around, why don't you," Sabina mutters, mood souring immediately.

Ian shrugs and sits down next to Brandon, planting a kiss on the kid's head. "I like it when you're not around."

"Ian, stop it," Tristan snaps.

"No. You know what." Sabina sits up and stares at her. "What the fuck is your problem with me?"

"Language," Tristan barks. "Kyle, don't."

"The kid's here," Ian says, raising an eyebrow. "I'll tell you my problem when he's gone. Okay?"

"Jesus Christ," Tristan breathes.

"Sure." Sabina smiles sweetly. Brandon's still on his tablet, not minding the whole tension-filled conversation or lunch.

Once he's gone to brush his teeth, Tristan tightens his jaw and says, "Okay. Both of you have to stop."

"No." Sabina stands up. "I wanna know what her problem with me is."

The brunette tosses her fork on her plate, and it makes a clacking noise. "Dude. Are you gonna marry my brother?"

"What?" Sabina says.

"What?" Tristan says, eyes wide and incredulous.

"Are you or are you not?" Ian challenges, stepping closer to her. "Because if you are, then you better rinse your mouth and teach it not to curse, because you're going to be with Brandon all the time and you need to learn how to fucking act like an adult around him, and actually learn to love him. If you aren't, then I don't know what the hell you're doing here, but you're just confusing the kid. Him, and Tristan."

Oh, God. Oh, God. Sabina finds it so ridiculous she starts laughing.

Ian stares at her. "You think this is a joke?"

Sabina's laugh fades, but she keeps her smile. "I find you a joke."

"This is my family," Ian seethes, stepping forward to push her. Sabina stumbles back, jaw dropping.

She just fucking touched her.

Tristan rounds the kitchen and yanks Ian back. "Cut it out, Ian, fucking hell."

His sister pulls her arm away. "This is my family, Sabina Kyle, and I will not have you messing around with both my brother and my nephew. If you need someone to fuck around with and fulfill your exhibitionist kinks while a child is in the next room, whore yourself out to someone who's not my fucking brother."

Sabina pulls her fist back and punches her.

"Sabina!" Tristan yells, furious, pushing her to the wall.

But Ian's back on her feet and she pulls Sabina off of him, and lands a punch on her face, too.

Before Sabina can kill her, Tristan grabs her and roars, "Stop it! Fucking stop it, I'm sick of this shit, you're both grown adults, for fuck's sake!"

Ian has blood on her lip and she shakes her hand. Sabina's pretty sure her jaw's misplaced.

"You're a fucking surgeon, Ian," Tristan bites out. "And Sabina's a model, fucking hell, are you stupid?"

"Well, your stupid girlfriend has claws on her, she punched me first," Ian hisses.

"Hey, all-mighty and righteous," Sabina shouts from behind her boyfriend (ex soon), breathing heavily. "I don't believe in marriage, but believe it or fucking not, I love Tristan—not just his dick. Not that it's any of your fucking business!"

Tristan turns around. He still looks angry, but he looks at her eyes. "What?"

"And Brandon?" Ian bites out. "If you're waiting for Tristan to toss him somewhere else, stop. He'd rather lose you than him, and you have better things to do than force yourself to love the kid."

"God." Sabina pushes Tristan off and walks closer to her, shaking her head incredulously. "Do all of you people think I'm a fucking monster?"

Behind her, Tristan sighs. "Kyle."

"You had that abortion," Ian says.

"Ian," Tristan growls furiously. "I didn't say that to you so you can attack her for it, what the fuck?"

"I respect that choice," Ian says. "I'm a doctor, we're all about choices. But Brandon? You don't want to—"

"So because I don't want my own children, I'm evil to him? To every child?" Sabina says, raising her eyebrow. Her hands ball into fists behind her back, and she's shaking. Her body is shaking so hard, she's shaking, she's fucking angry. "Sure. Let's call it that. Because I don't want to be a mother, I'll ask Tristan to toss Brandon out."

Her boyfriend pulls her arm. "Hey," he snaps, blue eyes wide as they stare at her. "Stop it. That's not what I think, Sabina, and you know it."

Sabina yanks it away and faces Ian. "And I'm not used to watching my tongue around children, sure," Sabina says, trying to keep her voice steady and stable, but it breaks in the middle of it, and she thinks her eyes are wet with tears. "And I'll work on that around Brandon—long as I have your permission, Ian, of course, because I'm a monster to children, apparently. As for sleeping with my boyfriend in his house, that's not a thing I do because his child is next door—do you think I'm a disgusting pig?"

Ian's chest rises and falls rapidly, jaw clenching.

"No surprise there. I get that it's your family and I'm the intruder here," Sabina says, angrily swiping her tear away. "And I'm sorry about Grayson and Jules."

"Don't you talk about them."

"And I'm pretty sure Jules is a lot nicer than I am so you didn't have to try so hard to like her for your brother's sake, but you don't have to like me, Ian, I don't care if you do. But you have no fucking right to disrespect me," Sabina snaps, punctuating each word firmly, gritting her teeth. "Because God knows, God knows I've been trying my hardest with Brandon and Tristan. If you choose not to believe that, then that's not my problem."

Sabina pushes open Tristan's bedroom and grabs her purse and her phone. Her boyfriend follows her. "Sabina, wait."

"I get it, we're over." She moves out of the way when he tries to touch her. "Bandage her hand, it's bleeding."

Tristan tries to block the door, but Sabina's faster. "Please just stop for a second, Sabina. Sabina."

She puts on the first pair of sneakers she finds and leaves.

*

Sabina's not proud to say she hides in her room in Andy's mansion.

She sleeps through her exhaustion, and when she wakes up, her best friend is seated on the edge of the mattress, biting her lip. Her eyes widen. "Sab. You're awake."

She wishes she weren't.

Sore, Sabina sits up, grimacing. Andy leans over the bed to help her. "What time is it?" Sabina croaks, rubbing her eyes.

"Six," Andy answers, giving her a gentle smile. "You were in and out of sleep for hours. I kept checking back. How are you feeling?"

"Like shit." Sabina laughs, shaking her head. "I just ruined the one good thing I had going for me, I guess."

Andy sighs. Biting her lip, she murmurs, "You have a bruised jaw, Sab."

"It wasn't him," Sabina says immediately, shaking her head again. "I punched his sister and she punched me back."

Her friend blinks. "Well, did you win?"

Sabina coughs out a laugh. She smiles at Andy and scoots forward to hug her. "I wouldn't be here if I did."

Andy rubs her hands down her back. "Sab..."

Before she knows it, she's crying.

Fat, humiliating tears roll down her cheeks, and her shoulders shake helplessly. Sabina claws at Andy's shirt as she struggles for breath.

Andy waits for her to cry it out, caressing her hair.

The door opens. Sabina's horrified to see that it's Rhysand, and she turns around immediately.

"Sorry," Rhysand mutters, walking closer. "Tea."

"Thank you, baby," Andy tells him, taking the cup.

When the door closes, Sabina puts her face in her hands and huffs out a laugh. "Great. Now he's seen me cry. He'll never let me live this down."

Andy shakes her head and hands her the tea. "He won't bring it up."

Sabina snorts, sniffling. She's covered in snot and her eyes are red and her whole face is puffy. She drinks the tea. It' good. "Really."

"He brought tea for you because he knows you're feeling like shit." Andy smiles, rubbing her shoulder. "In some ways, Sab, both of you are so alike."

Sabina doesn't notice it, but she supposes it's true. They're both are sharp-tongued. They're both slow to trust, they're both fiercely independent and loyal and hate asking for help. They both show their love and affection, more often than not, through actions rather than words.

Huh. Maybe that's why they bicker a lot. Sabina sniffles again. "He's a grandpa."

Andy rolls her eyes, but she's smiling. "You love him and he loves you."

Sabina rolls her eyes, too. "Whatever."

Andy moves closer and takes her hand. "Sab, you wanna tell me why you're crying? Or do you wanna just go back to sleep? I'll wake you up when dinner's ready."

Sabina lets out an incredulous chuckle. "Andy," she breathes, staring at her friend and smiling. "Why can't I just be like you?"

Her friend blinks. She sputters, "What?"

The model sighs, shoulders slumping. "You're...you're kind. You're so kind and sweet to everyone, even to those who hurt you. And you...everyone likes you. It's so hard not to like you, Andy."

She stares at her, worry and concern in her face and eyes. "Sabina, stop," she murmurs.

"And you'd be a great mom," Sabina continues, smiling. Her face hurts. "You'd be a super great mom, and Rhysand will be a super great dad because he has you."

"Sabina, stop it." Andy cups her cheeks, drawing her eyebrows together, searching her eyes. "What is wrong with you? You don't—you've never spoken like this. Ever."

Sabina takes a deep breath. "I just...I just think I don't deserve being treated like shit because I don't want to be a mother."

Her friend sighs. She hugs her. "Oh, Sab."

"By my dad," Sabina continues, voice breaking. "By Ian. And it's not intentional, but by Tristan, too."

Andy strokes her hair. "You think he wants you to raise Brandon with him?"

"He said I'm a good mom to him," Sabina whispers, squeezing her eyes shut. "And I told him about the abortion, and he didn't even bat an eye. But when I offered to go to Brandon's playdate, I know he wasn't sure how I'd be around other kids because, yeah, I don't want my own. I offer to pick Brandon up from school sometimes, you know?" She smiles at the absurdity. "But Tristan always says I'm not...I hate it in the school and I have better things to do. And...I—I love Tristan. And I don't know where to go from here because I don't want to raise a kid, but..." She sobs, "I don't think I deserve being accused of being with Tristan just for sex, or being a monster to the kid. I've been trying, Andy, I've been trying so hard to form a bond with him because I want to put in the effort for Tristan, and I—"

She's crying again, and Andy exhales heavily. "I know, Sab, I know."

"And Ian...God, I can't even figure out what I want to wear to work sometimes—of course I can't figure out where I'm going from here with Tristan yet, and—and is it so bad to figure it out as we go? Tristan and I?"

Andy rocks them together. Her shirt is soaked with tears. "No," she whispers. "No, it's not."

"And it would be easier if I were just nicer and kinder and more like you," Sabina whispers. "Maybe she won't have a problem with me. And I should just want children," she croaks, shaking her head. "I should just want one. I should just want to raise Brandon with Tristan. Maybe I'll be less horrible if I do."

"Stop," Andy snaps. She pulls back, and her face has pulled into an angry expression. "Shut the fuck up right now. I will not tolerate you talking down on yourself, or—or entertaining the idea that you're a shit person because you don't want a kid."

Sabina's chest sinks. It's so hard to breathe.

Andy stares at her, jaw tightening. "Sab. You have no idea how much I wanted to be like you when we were in college. God, you're confident, you're brave, and you're strong. You're so hardworking, you stand by what you believe in and you're fiercely loyal and I wish I have the guts to punch someone in the face when they disrespect me." Andy laughs quietly, eyes crinkling. "And you are kind. Do you think you would have friends, you would have me and MJ, Rhys, Adrian, and Jenner if you weren't? Tristan and Brandon?" She smiles at her. "And let's not forget what you did for me when I was going through shit. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you and MJ and you know it."

Sabina takes a deep breath. "I don't want to be a mom, Andy." She hiccups. "I don't. That's why I had that abortion. And I didn't think Tristan would love me less for it."

"He doesn't. And if you don't want to be a mom, Sab, then don't be." Andy kisses the top of her head, rubbing her back. "You don't have to be."

Sabina clings to her, squeezing her tightly.

*

sabina punches we been knew

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