Gus had brown hair and long lashes that he got from me which he truly despised since I would always try to put mascara on him, however he got the strong jaw and sharp structure of his cheekbones from Ethan.

"So... Gus is you and Ethan's son."

I nodded, Harry standing by the entryway of the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest with a look of seriousness I rarely ever got to see over his face as I sat on the counter.

"Yeah, yeah he is." I confirmed, rubbing the back of my neck as our eyes met.

Harry continued to stare at me in such a stern way I was almost forced to look away before his critical expression crumbled in front of me.

"Holy shit, I did not see that coming." His hands rubbed his face before he ran them through his hair, tugging at his roots and letting out a breath as if he had just run a marathon as he sent me a wide eyed look.

"So like, who have you not gotten hot and heavy with yet?" He clasped his hands together before pointing them my way as I gave him a deadpanned expression.

I didn't say anything for a moment.

"Alan and Polly." I muttered in response.

"No but really, you and Ethan." He questioned, squinting his eyes at me as he leaned forward.

"We were just kids-"

"Kids don't have babies! It's like a baby having a baby- god Ron you cannot just drop these kind of things on me I'm fragile- I get messed up just whenever Saint Laurent makes a new line of shoelaces for the shoes how do you think I'm handling this!" He threw his hands in the air, wildly gesturing at me then at himself.

I calmly stared back at him.

He sighed, rubbing his face again and leaning against the doorframe in exhaustion.

"I'm gonna faint." He said, voice muffled in his palms.

"Want some water?" I offered, getting off the counter.

"Fiji if you have some." He requested, his face still covered with his hands.

I got him tap water.

"We were only fifteen when we had Gus." I explained, leaning my back against the counter as I handed Harry the glass of water, making him lower his hands, revealing the strained look on his face.

Ah that look, that same look I got from my mom, my sister, Ethan, teachers, friends when they found out, when they would watch me walk through the highschool hallways with a round protruding stomach, the freshman that got knocked up.

"Granted Ethan and I had been friends since we were toddlers, growing up on the same street and having similar problems at home. We didn't have the best influences around as well, there was like at least one druggie around every corner and a hooker down every street." I said, absentmindedly playing with ends of my short hair as Harry watched me, listening.

"When you're raised in a life of poverty you're sort of forced to grow up fast. Obviously Ethan and I grew up way too fast, freshman year of highschool Ethan had to repair all damages in his family's apartment and I was already doing all the bills. It was a lot of stress and we watched a lot of cousins and friends much older than us relax by doing drugs, drinking, or having sex." I rubbed at my arms, staring at nothing in particular in front of me and zoning out.

"We thought, hey, if that's how adults fix their problems, with drugs and sex why can't we do that? We were too scared to try drugs and we weren't old enough to get any alcohol from the gas station. So you can guess which option we took to 'escape.'"

"We didn't know what were doing. You know there were so many ways we could have dealt with our problems differently, we could have talked to someone, a counselor, a friend. We could've just watched a movie or go out with friends to the mall. When you're fifteen you shouldn't be worrying about another child inside of you, you're supposed to be experimenting with make up not with which side would be better to lay on so you don't crush the baby, you're supposed to enjoy going out not staying in vomiting in a toilet." I breathed, completely out of it as I hugged myself.

Feeling Harry's eyes pierce through me made me drop my arms at my sides as I straightened, composing myself.

"I told you this before when we were still getting used to each other, when you were worried about Ethan and Polly doing it. You asked if he ever impregnated anyone..." I trailed off, staring back at him.

"Yeah, you said they got an abortion." He said, brows furrowing.

"I lied, I didn't." I answered.

"I couldn't. Didn't care how many slaps to the face my mom gave me or how many stares I got during class, struggling to take my chair down from my desk in the morning pregnant. It was because of my reckless actions that I had to face these consequences and so I did. But Ethan and I were too young, we couldn't take care of our baby even if we wanted to."

"That's where my big sister Carmen comes in. She was twenty three at that time and she always wanted a kid. The thing was something pretty traumatizing happened to her and after that event she didn't want to make any contact with any men, at all. She was even thinking about getting a sperm donor but I guess the minute she laid eyes on him, that was it for her. That was her baby." I released a small breath, running my fingers through my hair as Harry stayed silent before I brought my eyes back up to him in thought.

"Come on, I wanna show you something." I told him after a few moments of contemplating, heading for my room and hearing him follow close behind me in an almost timid manner before I reached my closet, sliding it open.

I pushed the boxes away, revealing the safe.

"Close your eyes." I instructed, turning back to look at Harry who scrunched his brows at me in exasperation.

"I've got almost two thousand bucks in my wallet, do you really think I'm gonna steal any-"

"Close your eyes." I repeated in a sterner voice, causing Harry to roll them first in annoyance before listening.

When I knew he wasn't looking I put in the passcode to open the safe, turning the dial quickly before I took out the heavy jar of money inside.

"This is Ethan and my Dream jar." I showed the glass object to Harry when he opened his eyes, letting him hold it and rotate it around in his palm at all the crumpled, folded, and even slightly torn various amount of paper bills inside.

"Even though I'm Gus's biological mother, I don't think I'll ever be his real mom to him inside, even if he found out who Ethan and I really were. I was happy when Carmen adopted him, that way Ethan and I always had a link to our son, we could visit him whenever we wanted, spend time with him. Ethan cried the most though, I know he would've rather be a dad than an uncle to Gus." I said, sitting myself down on the ground as Harry joined me on the floor, still holding the jar.

"Why does it say Dream and not Dreams? Only got one?" Harry raised a curious brow, spinning the jar to show me the label.

"Just one." I said, raising my pointer finger.

"I may not be good enough to own the title of Gus's mom but- I want him to have a good future. Ethan and I have been saving up in that jar for years for Gus's entire college tuition, my sister doesn't know about it but I'm determined. It's why I work multiple jobs, the bills and fine for the building and everything, but I want to save up. I haven't given Gus a lot, it's my sister who has."

"I used to actually have one of those jars in highschool and I was saving up for my own college tuition. I had to empty my jar out to help pay for Gus's diapers- you know the really soft huggies brand ones so he doesn't get a rash, ointments, clothes, food, and doctor's appointments." I was picking at my nails unconsciously, hands in my lap while Harry observed me.

"I'm so grateful for my sister. She's taken such good care of him and every day she updates me on how he's doing even when I see him every week. Did you know he's getting one hundred percents on all his tests?" I peered at Harry, biting my quivering lip with a shaking smile as a lump formed in my throat.

"He's so smart, smarter than I ever was and at such a young age. Sure he gets in trouble a lot for talking too much but he makes so many friends and I hear he's always making people laugh. He's so smart..." My voice cracked and my hands were shaking and right then and there I knew I was done for.

"I'm just so proud of him. He has such a bright future I know he does. He told me once, he told me he couldn't have asked for a better aunt than me." The tears were spilling from my eyes and I just couldn't stop, my vision was blurred and I was looking at nothing but fuzzy circles of light as I wiped at my wet face, crying uncontrollably before I felt a pair of arms wrap around me, just like they did when they saved me from drowning.

"He thinks I'm the coolest aunt ever." I remorsefully sobbed into Harry's shirt, my face rubbing against his chest as he held me close, one large hand firmly over the back of my neck so my head would rest against his chest as the other circled around my shaking frame, my shoulders heaving with every sob as he rested his chin over my hair.

"You're a good mom Veronica." Harry whispered to me, the sincerity in his voice making me cry harder at his words as I fisted his shirt.

No one had ever said that to me.

Not my mom, not my sister, and not Ethan.

And it was only then did I realize how much I needed that comfort.

Harry continued to hold me, hug my body to his even after I had calmed down, reduced into just a sniffling, hiccuping mess with my face against his broad shoulder and my puffy eyes blinking with fatigue.

His nose traced up the side of my neck in a soothing manner as he rubbed my back.

He was the type of hugger that stayed in that hug until you were the one to decide to break apart.

When I pulled away his arms loosened, falling to my waist before he I rubbed my nose.

"I don't know where that came from." I honestly said, shaking my head and rubbing the side of my eyes while he peered down at me.

"Well first the tears came from your eyes, then the snot from your nose." Harry playfully listed, pointing at my nose making me gently move his hand away with a small, tired laugh.

"Thank you." I said, finally relaxed and recollecting myself as he retracted back to give me some space.

I blinked at his stained shirt.

"Oh shoot, I got tears all over your shirt." I pointed out with a frown, knowing that always bothered him as he blinked in realization, following the direction of my pointer finger with a neutral expression.

"Oh, yeah." He acknowledged, not seeming to care.

"Sorry, I know how you are with that," I apologized, awkwardly brushing off some lint from the fabric of his polo before he merely shrugged, avoiding my gaze.

"It's whatever." Harry dismissed the subject.

I got up from the ground, stretching and releasing a small exhale, feeling as if a weight had been lifted right off my shoulders.

"You can just leave the stuff there, I'll put it back later. Come on, you get first dibs on the ice cream before they get back." I notified him with a smile, nodding my head at the door as he stayed on the ground with a smirk.

"What, not afraid I might steal a dollar anymore?" He mused, looking up at me.

"I've counted every single penny in that jar so good luck doing that without me noticing." I told him with a smile, walking out of the room, into the hallway and to the kitchen before I opened the top cabinet, retrieving four bowls wondering what time Arlo will come back from his poetry entertainment.

"I'm guessing Polly doesn't know about this." Harry's voice carried throughout the room as he entered the kitchen, lingering at the door and watching me.

"No, no one knows. Just you." I said, grabbing a few spoons.

"Well when exactly is Ethan planning on telling his girlfriend about this." Harry's tone made me look up from the counter to meet his intense gaze, noticing the way he emphasized Ethan and Polly's relationship.

"I've asked him about it a couple of times but he says he just needs some time-"

"Time for what. They've been dating for more than a year now- he can't just not tell her this kind of stuff after being in a relationship for so long." Harry sharply cut in, leaning over the counter as I paused, giving him a look.

"Look, Ethan's just nervous. I don't know why you're getting so heated suddenly."

"I'm not getting heated I'm trying to make sure that he doesn't do anything to hurt Polly. Don't you two feel the least bit guilty when we're all hanging out?" He accused as my mouth twisted in a frown.

"Guilty? What exactly would I be guilty of-"

"It's like you and Ethan are hiding some double life- I understand with the kid and all but do you and him still have feelings for each other?" Harry grit his teeth, getting to the root of his frustration as I furrowed my brows.

"No, we're still close friends, nothing more- just, why did you have to bring up the whole Polly thing?" I went back to the main picture, clearly aggravated at his accusations.

"Polly's my friend." Harry defended.

"And what about me?" I wondered, my words catching him off guard as his eyes widened slightly, lips parting.

I waited for a response, crossing my arms over my chest as my sentence lingered in the thick air between us.

"You're Ron." He pathetically sputtered out, not knowing how to respond as I slowly clapped my hands in a patronizing manner.

"Wonderful. A+ answer." I remarked with a straight face.

"What the hell do you want me to say? That we're friends, more than friends?" He demanded, the expression on his face hardening.

"Enemies." I sarcastically offered, quoting him causing his green eyes to narrow at me.

He was about to open his mouth, a twisted look in his gaze before the sound of the front door opening filled my apartment.

Arlo came striding in back from his poetry meet up, snapping his fingers methodically around the place as he walked into the kitchen.

"Roses are red, violets are blue-" He trailed off to himself before he stopped in his tracks, looking between Harry and I.

"There's a lot of tension.... so I'll just bid you all a'do." Arlo slowly said, processing everything as he gazed at the two of us and our cross expressions before he brought his hands up in a cautious manner, slowly backing himself out of the room while Harry and I stared at him.

"Look, it's not my part to tell Polly, Ethan will do it when he's ready, and it isn't your part either." I turned back to Harry, sending him a warning gaze.

"Well it's my part to be a good friend." He countered, walking around the kitchen counter to approach me.

His tall frame towered above me as I held my ground, glaring at his chest that was eye level to me.

"Get out of my way." I demanded.

He stepped even closer, trapping me by placing both of his hands on the counter behind me and caging me in before he lowered his head.

"No." Harry said, still glaring at me before I simply shoved past him, bumping shoulders and walking back to my room just to get away from him.

Everything was still in its place, with the safe still open and the jar out as I kneeled down, a frustrated frown on my face, reaching out to put everything back when I noticed a wallet stuffed into the Dream jar.

Harry's wallet.

I took it out, finding it filled with hundred dollar bills just like I had seen before as I shook my head, gritting my teeth.

"Harry-" I began, walking out with one hand holding the jar and the other carrying his wallet to give back to him before the I watched at the last moment my front door closing, slamming shut as I stood there in the hallway.

Harry had left.

It had been a few days afterwards where I expected everything to be fine, I had faith in Harry that he wouldn't say anything.

That he would be a friend, not just the guy I bickered with all the time or the one I would make out with behind closed doors.

Just a friend.

But I was wrong, so fucking wrong.

Alan had surprisingly thrown a house party or rather, a small get together with some friends and co-workers on Wednesday, something his therapist advised him to do despite his hatred for socializing.

Not much to my surprise, Alan's house was as clean as his working space in the kitchen of that fancy restaurant we worked in, with not a speck of dust or piece of item out of order on the IKEA display looking rooms he had in his rented condo.

I was looking around curiously, Ethan and I talking side by side before we were lead into the kitchen, my feet stopping to a complete halt at the sight of Harry and Polly standing there, deeply conversing with one another in lowered voices before they straightened when they saw us.

My eyes immediately made contact with Harry's, his expression unreadable before I looked over at Polly who stared straight at me.

"Harry told me," She said, her headband gleaming under the kitchen lights as she ran a hand down her skirt, smoothing it out with a calm look before walking over to me.

She stopped right in front of me, hazel eyes boring into my brown ones.

"He told me everything."