thanks to thekiaram for the super cute cover made above!!

What country are you reading from? I'm trying to make sure the updates (Tuesdays and Fridays) are at a reasonable time. For me in Aus this actually means around 7am the day after, but should I make them sooner?

Thank you for all the love ♡ Ann

I swallowed hard.

"Late again, I see," Professor Malcolm said, scowling at the group of four who had interrupted his spiel. "Quickly, take a seat."

They were usually alone in the back, free to watch over the students—the commoners. But not today. I waited with a stiff spine as they piled into the row in front of me, each of their faces laced with disapproval.

I didn't release my breath until the lecturer began speaking again. I'd done it—found the perfect position for spying.

I'm here behind them in class, I texted Penelope, needing somewhere to release the tension building. I couldn't believe I was really doing this for someone. It felt like elementary school all over again, spying on the boys from the jungle gym.

What are they doing?

The group was talking in quiet murmurs, just under my ability of hearing.

Poppy's whispering in Cole's ear.

Typical.

And Felix keeps side-eyeing me.

You can't make this too obvious, Josie! If anyone is onto me it will be Felix. Be careful.

I locked my phone and bit my lip, trying to avoid Felix Bradford's glance. Every so often he'd turn to look at me curiously. Like he already knew.

It turned out that there wasn't exactly secrets to divulge in freshman accounting. They browsed social media and refreshed emails, but their laptop screens revealed nothing scandalous.

Nothing to report, I concluded to Penelope as class ended.

You need to go to that party.

I was collecting my things to pile back into my bag when I sensed someone approach.

"You're sitting in my seat," they said, amused.

"I didn't realize we conformed to assigned seating in college," I said dryly, my automated sarcasm complex triggered by the challenging sparkle in Felix's dark eyes. I'd dealt with boys like him before.

"You usually sit down the side, in the middle row."

I froze. "That's creepy."

"I'm just an observant person," he said slyly. Then he held out a hand. "Felix Bradford."

Shit.

"J-Josie," I said, stiffly shaking his hand. Where were we, at a networking event?

"Coming, Felix?" Jada spoke from a few yards away. She was looking curiously towards our joined hands.

"See you round, Josie." He gave me a wink, and I watched with wide eyes as he walked away.

I watched my phone screen with satisfaction as my bank balance refreshed and my rent status was officially cleared as up to date. It had been a while since I'd caught up on payments, and it was starting to look really bad for my record. I changed my sheets and even vacuumed the floor, deciding this semester would be one where I might actually have a chance of doing more than just surviving. Penelope's pay checks would guarantee that.

After cooking myself more than ramen and frozen vegetables for the first time in months, I curled beneath my handmade blanket and pulled out my laptop. I needed to find something white and trendy for Saturday night's party. At least it'd be completely paid for by Penelope.

But, as usual, browsing started swallowing my time. Tonight, Instagram was my app of choice, my thumb scrolling through pictures of fashion and influencer epiphanies. But, my mind was starting to trail elsewhere...

Penelope Aldgate had almost a hundred-thousand followers. Her icon was a picture of her pouting in a beret, her bio directing viewers to her management page. I started scrolling through her pictures, stopping on one of her and Cole. His arms were wrapped around her, an enormous grin on his face as he looked at her. She was snapping the picture in the mirror, her neck crooked so his face could nuzzle close. They looked happy.

But, a picture was just a picture. Who knows what happened once the camera was away. It was obviously enough to have Penelope taking desperate measures.

Cole's Instagram, like his Facebook, was covered in pictures with other people. His social media demeanor was social and popular, his bright smile a trademark to each shot. His pictures took me to his sister Poppy's profile, which was private. Pen's folder had given me only brief details to her life. She seemed a lot more secretive than Cole.

I searched for Jada, finding an Instagram filled with paintings and sketches. I took some time zooming in on shaded flowers, haunting portraits, and decorated ceramics. Penelope had said her parents were forcing her to study business instead of pursuing a career as an artist after she failed to get a scholarship. And thus her friendship with Cole and Poppy began.

And finally, Felix. His profile was filled with photography, not a single picture of him. Beneath his tagged photos, though, was a plethora of artistic shots, pictures of him sitting on rooves and smoking, leaning against graffitied walls.

I exited. For some reason, Felix's interaction with me earlier had me worried. Was he already onto me? Penelope's texts had reassured me he was just an inquisitive person, but the touch of his palm against mine still lingered.

An abrupt banging at my door broke the tranquility I'd created through my headphones. Startled, I shut my laptop and headed towards my bedroom door.

"Joselyn!"

I swore beneath my breath as I opened the door to find my brother standing there.

"Who let you in?"

"Your roommate. You should live with people you trust more. All it took was twenty-dollars."

I cursed again, giving up and letting him stride into my room. Sebastian was much taller than me, with a much better jawline and less unkempt curls.

"I told you not to come here," I hissed. With my arms crossed over my chest, I almost reminded myself of my mom. I dropped them immediately.

"You hung up on me the other night," he pointed out. He leaned against my desk and it snapped, one of the supports falling to the ground.

"Seb!" I shooed him out of the way so I could replace the pile of books I'd been using to keep it all in place.

"This place is disgusting, Joselyn."

"No shit." I eyed him, deep brown eyes identical to my own eyeing me harshly back.

"You know mom and dad would still take you home, right? You could live out the back until you save enough. You've been here for an entire semester and more now, you've proven your point."

"Obviously I haven't if you think moving back home is an option," I said through gritted teeth.

He sighed, sitting on my bed, which thankfully did not give way. He was wearing a Ralph Lauren Polo and a Cartier watch. How typical of Sebastian.

"Why are you back to this?" I asked, leaning against the wall. "I thought you were helping me."

"I am. I'm on your side—but you're being unrealistic if you think it's possible to just ignore everything that—"

"You're just jealous," I said. "You're jealous I could leave but you never had the balls."

From his muscular figure, designer clothes and newly finished Ivy-League degree, I knew that wasn't it. He wasn't jealous. He had it all. He had everything I gave up.

"I'm worried. You're my little sister and here I am being hounded by your landlord and constantly worried about you in this neighborhood—I passed two cars with smashed windows and that was just on this block alone."

"You won't get hounded anymore," I said. Even if Penelope fired me after the first week, I'd have enough money to comfortably survive until I could find some other job "I promise. I have it sorted."

Sebastian ran a hand through his hair. "And you won't even consider visiting? Or staying with me?"

Considering Sebastian's boyfriend hated me and had called me a brat in our last encounter, moving in with them would not be a good idea.

"I've considered it all, Seb. This is what's best. I know it's not the most ideal situation, but I'm happy."

"You're really happy pretending you're not a Crawford?"

I shivered. Though my last name wasn't legally changed, I'd adopted the Preston name whenever I could.

"Yes."

"And there's nothing that will change your mind?"

"Has there ever been?" I asked with a raised brow.

"True."

"Stop bribing my roommates and just—I don't know. I'll visit you for lunch sometime. If you can accept that I'm the only one making my decisions, then I'll keep you updated on my life so you're not worried."

Anything to get him out of this apartment.

He hesitated, but his expression softened. "Deal."

I hugged my big brother for the first time in months.

I sat at the back of class again the following day, waiting for the four to arrive late again as I doodled over my binder. I'd smiled politely at my few distant acquaintances from the previous semester—I'd made a habit of keeping my distance in the midst of my identity change—and walked past them to my newly taken back-row seat.

But, when Jada and Poppy opened the door with Felix beside them, Cole Kensington was nowhere to be seen. I immediately texted Penelope, even though I knew she'd be in a plane somewhere between London and Milan right now.

"Josie," Felix nodded as he took the seat in front of me. My cheeks burned, but I nodded back nonchalantly, shading in the petal of a flower with my pen.

That became routine for the remainder of the week. I'd slide into the back row of whichever classes I had in common with the group, and Felix would always acknowledge me in some way, whether it be a smirk or a wink or an actual hello. I figured it was harmless flirtation—from what Penelope said Felix always seemed to be searching for his next conquest.

Cole was usually absent. I kept tally, forwarding it on to Pen who pondered excuses each time. Maybe he was sleeping in too much, or dealing with things at home—though his sister always seemed to make it. I didn't have much idea either, only offering suggestions. I still knew nothing about him.

I got a text from Jada, Penelope messaged as I was making my way home Friday evening. I leant against the bus seat in front of me. She said she misses me and wishes I was coming to the white party. Such bs.

I frowned. From afar, Jada had seemed nothing but nice. You don't believe her?

I don't believe anything anymore.

My online shopping order was waiting for me when I got home, which meant I'd hopefully be able to go next week playing preppy-college girl without the assistance of Penelope's wardrobe. I pulled out the tight white pants and tube top she'd helped me choose for the party and tried them on in front of the cloudy full-length mirror behind my door.

Holy shit.

It had been a long time since I'd seen this version of me—the one who dressed to show off my body. I used to hate my wide hips, especially in school when the other girls were stick thin with silky hair and clear skin. But now, I knew they'd turn heads.

I went to Penelope's apartment on Saturday to get ready. She'd invited me to use her makeup collection after I'd described the entirety of my cosmetic draw as comprising of mineral powder and mascara. But, for someone with a miniscule collection I had watched a lot of beauty YouTube.

I finished my look with red lips, a darker edge to a white party. Though I was being paid to hang with these people, I still wanted an element of me amongst the glamor. I posed in front of her bathroom mirror, framed by sparkling lights. A speaker was blasting from the kitchen, playing party music in an attempt to get me into the right headspace.

Penelope had explained ways of making sure I wasn't outcasted by my lack of friends cool enough to attend a party at this fraternity. I was going to pretend to always be between groups—grabbing an extra drink for my invisible friend, or just dipping out on my way to the bathroom. Enough to get me by for my first party on duty. Enough to let me blend in and watch Pen's group from afar.

I'd gone to the luxury of booking an Uber to drive me from Penelope's house to the fraternity. I sat on one of the large decorative stones while I waited for the driver, admiring the way the trees above me danced in the darkened sky. For the first time—maybe even the first time since starting college—I felt strangely alone. It was easy to forget about friends when most of my energy went into earning a wage and escaping my family.

If this was high school, I'd have been with my two best friends, likely drunk out of my mind by the time it was time to leave for a party. We'd be laughing about boys and sneaking off undetected by our parents, arm and arm and likely sneaking into a car to Manhattan.

But they'd abandoned me now. Everyone had whenI'd abandoned the coast of Connecticut. It was fair enough, really.