Thank you to HalloPhoenix for the incredibly seasonal graphic above! the covers you sent me where divine 🧡

Comment of chapter nine: sophiextorres 🔥

This chapter is one of my favs (and a nice long one for you guys, happy Tuesday!!)

On Friday afternoon I skipped class and arrived at Penelope's apartment with a duffle beneath my elbow. It was filled to the brim with clothes and accessories, all coordinated by me thanks to Penelope's radio silence for the entire remainder of the week. If I didn't see the large sum land in my bank account, I'd be worried that she'd fired me. Nonetheless, I kept up my regular texts, struggling to find anything she might consider juicy.

It was a good thing I was about to spend at least twenty-four hours with her person of interest. I just needed to get past Felix to actually find something of value. That was going to be the tricky part.

I heard them before I saw them—obnoxious bass blasting down the street, the wolf whistle as Felix saw me standing at the curb. If I'd been any later in the Uber, they might have seen me getting out. I loosened my shoulders in relief and held out my thumb to feign hitch-hiking.

Cole was driving an olive-colored Datsun seemingly stuffed with bodies. I already knew Felix was in the front seat by his grinning face poking from the passenger seat window, the breeze tossing his hair around his face.

"Josie! Perfect timing!"

Perfect timing indeed.

As soon as the car pulled to the curb Felix stepped out and took my duffle, flinging it over his shoulder and leaning in to hug me. I dodged his lips, just in case. I didn't want to give any reason for him to suspect something if he tried and I pulled away, after all.

He put my bag in the trunk and opened up the back door, where Poppy and Jada were crammed next to each other and surrounded by an abundance of snacks.

"Slide on in!" Poppy said, gesturing to the seat behind Felix. I pushed aside any shy-ness of having my knees pressed against hers and fell into the seat, making sure to buckle up.

"Snacks?" Jada asked, offering me the open packet of almonds. I took a handful, smiling in return. Even though they weren't my friends—likely including me out of politeness to Felix—it still brought a warm flicker to my chest to feel included.

"The guys have a shitty taste in music," Jada explained once Felix was seated and Cole had pulled back onto the road, turning up the electronic club music I'd heard from their approach.

"Who's in control of this?" I asked over the noise, screwing up my nose. My seat was literally vibrating. "Are we sculling shots or going on a road trip?"

"Both," Cole replied with a chuckle. Felix, though, killed the music and handed me the aux cord.

"Here you go, music snob."

I gave him a glare to tell him his comment was unnecessary, but when I realized everyone in the car was now expecting me to be the DJ I internally groaned. I plugged my phone in and started scrolling for the right mood, queueing up my favorites and hoping that the others would enjoy my taste.

And, it turns out they did.

Not even an hour into the journey I could already tell the mood had elevated. Jada, in the middle seat, had me and Poppy under each arm as we sang along to the old school indie song that had come on. The windows were opened just enough that so that cool air was livening me, hitting my cheeks and turning them red. I even had the confidence to poke Felix around the side of his seat and get him singing too.

"I had no idea you guys would like this kind of music," I said as we pulled into a gas station. We were miles away from the nearest town now, and Cole and Poppy were switching drivers, Jada taking shotgun and Felix in the middle row of the back seat.

Felix shrugged, stretching an arm over my shoulder. "It was okay."

I mock-glared at him and checked my phone. Still no message from Penelope. I'd changed her name in my phone to a disguise, just in case.

For the remainder of the drive, Jada took the aux cord and I found myself falling asleep on Felix's shoulder. The sun was melting into purple and pink, the flat horizon replacing suburbia as we went from one small town to the next. I could hear soft murmurs between Felix and Cole, but they were never loud enough to translate into actual words. It was almost nightfall when the car slowed and Poppy steered into a large property, causing me to stir. The shoulder of Felix's woolen jumper was probably imprinted on my cheek.

"Morning, gorgeous," he said as I wiped my mouth for any stray drool.

"Are we here?"

He nodded, patting my back.

"Finally, you drive like a grandma," Cole said to Poppy, slamming the door behind him and stretching his long figure high into the air.

"Grab my bag, will you? I'm trying to find my key."

The house was much smaller than I imagined, reminding me of an old fishing cottage. Poppy opened the door and we filed in, switching on yellow lights and making our way into the living space.

"Here it is, the Kensington's five-star Airbnb," Felix joked.

I couldn't imagine Penelope Aldgate stepping foot in such a place. Again, I tried to visualize her on Cole's arm, strutting beneath the peeling doorframe and onto the creaky floorboards. But, neglecting any of Penelope's tastes, I found it charming.

"Our grandparents grew up here. My parents think it's shabby, so Cole and I are basically the only ones to come up," Poppy explained, opening the fridge to dump in a bag of groceries and bottles of wine.

"It's our escape now," Jada said, making herself at home on the sofa, kicking off her heeled boots.

"Want a drink?" Felix offered, already pouring five shot glasses with tequila.

I could smell the ocean in the musty air, even hear the waves in the distance from the open windows, or maybe I was just imaging that. I pulled my jacket tighter over my shoulders and watched as the others fell into motion to make tacos. They were like a small family, seeming to navigate each other perfectly, bouts of laughter separating banter. I tried my best to fall into place, but it was like they were a part of some irreplicable puzzle. One that I knew in theory Penelope was a party of, but I just couldn't picture.

After a few more shots and an opened bottle of champagne, dinner was served, and we gathered on the deck outside, a blanket draped over Jada, Poppy and I's backs while we huddled on a wooden bench and the boys served our fillings.

"Cozy?" Felix asked as he offered me the bowl of lettuce to add to my taco.

"Very," I said. The way he met my eyes made my heart flutter. It made me wish even harder that this was real, that I was a part of this group of friends and whatever we had could mean something. For a moment, I almost considered whether that would be worth more than all the money Penelope could offer me.

I was starting to like the way Jada was always humming under her breath and Poppy added something positive to every cynical thing Cole would mutter. Felix was in a realm of his own, constantly radiating a toxin that weakened me. I was always aware of the crease of his dimple, the way he tucked his hair behind his ear and the way he tapped his feet to some invisible beat. It was unbearable.

"Let's go inside," Jada said, giving a dramatic shiver. "It's too cold. We can put some music on."

We cleared the leftovers and headed inside. Poppy was flipping through settings on the TV to find a connection to her phone, when the house seemed to groan and the room was plunged into darkness.

"Well, shit."

"Did the power just go out?" I asked stupidly, waiting for my eyes to adjust in the dark.

"Yep," Felix said. His hands found my back, his fingers tugging on the belt loops of my jeans playfully. "This happened last time. Huh, I thought we fixed it."

"Well, apparently not," Cole said, sighing in frustration.

"I'll go find the matches," Poppy said, her voice far away as she disappeared.

I leaned into Felix, feeling as if the darkness might conceal the guilt that had been slowly developing as I continued to remind myself why I was here.

"You scared, Preston?" he murmured in my ear.

"You wish."

It didn't take long for Poppy to light every candle in the house to illuminate the living room. It was quiet without the hum of electricity in the air, and the five of us had become mellow. I played with the fringe of the throw blanket covering me and Felix's laps on the smaller sofa, watching Cole. How was I supposed to work out what he was doing, especially when Penelope had given me so little to work with? How was I supposed to spy on a seemingly private person, when his group of friends were so tight-knit?

"So, Josie, where did you say you were from again?" Poppy asked, her eyes glittering in the candlelight.

"Oh, I don't think I've mentioned it," I said, shifting uncomfortably. I didn't want to be too specific and risk them connecting the dots to my past. "Connecticut. By the coast."

She looked surprised "Us too! But we're pretty far inland. Small world, huh?"

"Small world," I said. Felix's feet nudged mine.

"I thought you were inviting Ella," Felix said.

"Oh, get lost, Felix."

"What, you're worried we'll scare her away?"

Poppy rolled her eyes, catching mine and sensing my confusion. "Ella's my girlfriend. And she's working tonight."

"Oh, right," I said. I sensed the smallest piece of leverage to turn the conversation. "Well, you guys are pretty intimidating."

I waited for them to laugh, and for Felix's feet to nudge mine again before continuing.

"Hey, doesn't your girlfriend live in my building, Cole? Is she working too?"

I could almost feel the entire room grow tense. I held my breath, praying my tone had been more nonchalant than it sounded to me. Was it obvious I was prying?

"Yeah," Cole said after a while. "Penelope works out of town."

"What's she like?" I asked.

Jada snorted and placed her cup on the table.

"Busy," Felix answered. I almost suspected he and Cole were telepathic with the way he covered for him without hesitation.

"Does she usually come here too, when you go away?"

"She'd choose a catwalk over a night in the Kensington beach house any night," Poppy said. "Another round, anyone?"

"Yes please," Jada said.

God, I felt like such a traitor.

"Sorry," I muttered to Felix as the girls rose to their feet, carrying candles as they made their way to the kitchen. "I didn't realize it was a touchy subject."

"It's not, really. Cole doesn't like talking about stuff like that, that's all," he murmured. But I sensed even him withdrawing.

After another round of shots the conversation turned to joking about the erratic professor we'd had in our fall semester. I found myself getting lost in laughter, any guilt I felt enough to forget as I put Penelope on the backburner for now. But it wasn't long before I felt my eyelids grow heavy.

"I need to sleep," Jada said, being the first to rise from where she'd been nuzzling into cushions on the floor.

"Me too," Cole declared, also moving to stand.

I looked down to my fingers, which had slowly become interlinked with Felix's. I hadn't thought through our sleeping arrangements.

"Do you want to sleep?" he asked. I took a deep breath, trying to channel my feelings. But I was so tired. I nodded, deciding I'd let him decide. "Come on, there's a huge room upstairs I've claimed. I'll even take the couch if you're most comfortable with that."

I stifled a laugh. If I'd known how chivalrous Felix really was, I wouldn't have painted half of the assumptions I'd had for him.

The staircase creaked as he led me into darkness, the blanket still wrapped over my shoulders. I couldn't see much of the room under the candle Felix was holding, but I could see the bed covered in a gingham comforter and practically begging my name.

"So, you wanna share?" Felix asked. His tone was courteous. Like he really wouldn't care if I said no.

I didn't though. I wanted him, I wanted his warmth and his arms over mine. Part of me was scared that if I slept beside him—fell into my most vulnerable state—then he'd unravel my secrets. But I knew that was silly. If anything, it'd make him trust me more.

And that was terrifying.

I fell onto the bed and tugged on his hand, wishing I could see his expression better in the dim light. "We can share."

We crawled beneath the duvet, our wrists and knees touching as we lay facing one another.

"I'd like to think I'm a good judge of character," he said, his voice soft, enveloping me.

"Yeah?" I asked with bated breath.

"But with you, I'm not sure."

I frowned. "I'm offended."

"I just mean... I'm not sure I can think so clearly when it comes to you."

I bit my lip. I wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean. Did he think this hard about every girl he'd been with, or did he know something he shouldn't?

"You know..." my voice trailed off as I decided on my words. "I don't think I can think so clearly around you either."

The flame flickered, shadows licking the contours of his face as they danced. His fingers swirled over my wrist, delicately teasing the hairs over my arm before curling around the back of my neck. I moved under a magnetic force, daring me to fall prey to his attraction. My lips landed on his, and when they did, I lost all rational thought.

His fingers weaved through the knotted coils of my hair as I wrapped my leg around his, itching to get closer. It was hot beneath the blanket, and in sync, we shed our sweaters and pants—landing in just our underwear. I feasted on his bare skin, leaving kisses across his chest as his fingers maneuvered my bra strap. By the time my lips found his again our breath was labored.

I was high on adrenaline pumping from the thought of having him—feeling him—in every way possible as we made out in the candlelight. But, finally, as I fell onto my back and Felix's kisses drifted to the soft skin of my thighs, a voice of reason called through.

I don't know how he sensed it, but Felix stopped, pulling the blanket back over us as he lay on his back beside me, his chest rising rapidly.

"I'm sorry," he said.

I looked towards him, wishing I could see better so I could read his expression.

            "I just mean—that was a bit much."

            My heart bubbled, and I wondered if that was truly why he stopped. Was I really bad at it? Was he having second thoughts? I shut them off quickly, reminding myself I wasn't about to let myself feel insecure.

            "I don't want to rush things," he said. "I rush a lot of things. But I don't want to... ruin this."

            My breath caught. Though I was grateful we'd found rational thought, a part of me sunk in longing as my brain started replaying his touch. "Me too."

            He moved closer, cradling me in his arms. I basked in the feeling of our hot skin against one another. Maybe if I wasn't so tired, I'd stay awake and keep scrutinizing the intense scene that had unfolded. But I felt too content, the rhythm of his heart the last sensation I processed before drifting off to sleep.

When I woke, it was still dark, and I was shivering. I'd fallen asleep curled within Felix's arms, warm and cozy and my heart spiraling. Now, the bed was empty, the candle extinguished, and my lips cold.

I straightened, letting the covers fall from my naked torso as my bare feet hit the carpet. After pulling on a shirt and my jeans, I tiptoed in the general direction I thought the door was, until my eyes found the glimmer of candlelight further down the hall. I tried to silence my breathing as I passed the threshold of the door and followed the source of light.

I could hear voices, two voices. Felix and Cole. I covered my mouth with my hands, scared I'd give myself away with even the smallest sound.

"I know. There's nothing you can do, though. If you love her, you love her," Felix's voice said.

"You think I could..."

Silence stretched on as I waited.

"I think you have to do something. You know what she wants."

"I know."

"And you love her, don't you?" Felix asked.

"I do," Cole replied.