Comment of Chapter Fifteen goes to SpottedApples 💖

I'm loving your theories so far! I obviously can't give anything away but... there is a LOT going on beneath the surface of this story. There's lots of little bits planted, some obvious (there's definitely some correct theories being detected), and some is gonna be a real shock when it all comes to a head 👀😏

Felix winked at me as he waltzed into class on Friday morning. He was late, of course, and flanked by Cole and the girls. He slid into the seat beside me, his hand automatically landing on my knee and squeezing it in greeting.  

I had to admit, the thought of being greeted by him made me excited to get to class each morning.

Beneath the table, Poppy slipped me her phone. On the screen was a Facebook event, a gig tonight for one of the local college bands.

I raised my eyebrows as she mouthed come.

Of course, I had to go. Penelope had already given me instructions.

Not to mention, I didn't exactly want to return to my room tonight, to sit there alone and ignore Sebastian's calls and my mother's pleas for me to contact her. Or, contemplate the idea that Felix and the others might find out about my so-called marriage

I never felt whole calling myself a Crawford. Preston, my Grandmother's maiden name, had felt like the best to choose when I left Connecticut, my best chance at a fresh start. But my last name didn't matter, no matter how many times I changed it. My past would never stop burdening me.

"Want to ride together tonight?" Felix asked as we followed the others to Beanz.

"Sure," I said, sliding into the chair next to Poppy. It was becoming routine now, that we came to Beanz after class, where our free periods aligned.

"Ella's coming too," Poppy said. "And Jada, you should totally ask that guy from Chinese class. This is your chance."

Jada nearly choked on the mouthful of water she'd just taken from her bottle.

"Guy from Chinese class, huh?" Felix asked, cocking a brow.

"His name's Arjun, he asked Jada to coffee the other day," Poppy said smugly, taking a menu to hide her gleeful grin as Jada's cheeks heated.

            "Really," Cole said slowly.

            "I mean, Felix and Josie are coming together, Ella will be there, and you're busy pining over Penelope. Jada should take him up on it!"

            Jada was looking like she'd rather do anything but.

            "Do you actually like him, though, Jada?" I asked.

            She shot me a grateful look. "He's some frat guy with borderline ego issues."

            "Oh, come on, he's sweet! He helped me with translations last week and he seemed really into you."

            "You can't match-make everyone, Pops," Felix said, rolling his eyes.

            "Oh, but I can try."

            I found a denim skirt and shirt combo that said I-go-to-gigs-by-undercover-bands but didn't totally expose my unhealthy attraction to corduroy. With a jacket and boots, I felt like myself. I eyed the knitted sweater I'd taken from Felix's that was still folded in the corner. I'd definitely be lying if I said I hadn't worn it a few nights, falling asleep entrapped by his scent and the memories it brought.

            Of course, I had to go to Penelope's apartment block first. Of all the lies, this was definitely the most inconvenient. Pretending I lived somewhere I didn't was becoming impossible. I'd even considered coming clean a few times, but I knew that telling him the truth about that would mean telling him the truth about Penelope. Even if I didn't, there was a high chance he might put the pieces together.

            I couldn't risk it.

            I didn't bother entering her apartment this time, instead sitting on the wall framing the garden, crossing my legs and waiting for Felix to pull up with his loud music and revving engine.

            My phone buzzed, but when I checked the caller ID it wasn't Felix or Penelope. It was Sebastian.

            He'd gotten the message that I was ignoring him a few days ago, and I'd reveled in the radio silence. But, taking a deep breath, I decided it might be finally time to tell him I was going to block his number for good. At least with Penelope's blackmail, my bills would be paid.

            "Hello?"

            "Thank god. Jeez, Josie."

            "You have five-seconds."

            "Fine. I know what Mom and Dad did. I know what happened with Nic."

            I took a sharp intake of breath. I looked over my shoulder, as if somehow his voice could carry through the speaker.

            "Like you didn't already know."

            "I didn't. I swear. I only found out when I pushed further. I knew you had loads of reasons to leave, but I didn't know how bad it really was. Fuck, Josie. This is messed up."

            "No shit." My throat was thick. Like there were hands wrapped around it, pinning my esophagus closed.

            "I'm going to fix this."

            "What can you do?" I asked. I laughed sardonically. "The last thing you—and Remy—can handle is you losing your trust fund too."

            "You really underestimate me, Josie."

            "Then prove it," I muttered. Again, my heart lurched in pain. "You've really hurt me, Seb. I'm serious when I say I'm done. After tricking me..."

            "I know."

            "I have to go." Felix was pulling onto the street. Some of the weight in my chest lifted. "From now on I call you. I need space."

            "Whatever you want," Seb said. I detected relief lifting his tone as I hung up and stood, dusting off my skirt and stepping towards Felix's car with a skip in my step.

            "You look good," Felix said as I sat down in the passenger seat.

            "Thanks," I looked him up and down. Dark jeans, black denim jacket. He was chewing gum, his jaw popping. I felt a blush creeping, the stupid, giddy rush that Felix was Felix consuming me.

            "What?"

            I shook my head with a smile. "Nothing."

            "Alright, mystery girl, play some music. Here's the aux."

            I was relieved to escape my head. The last thing I wanted was to dwell on my family and the shitty things I'd done to escape them. The person they made me into—the one who was destined to betray him.

Really, the last thing I wanted was to go to a gig and play boyfriend-spy for Penelope or pretend to care about whatever Cole was up to. I wanted to distract myself with Felix's wit, curl up in his loft and listen to jazz on his record player. But I was a little excited to go out to do college things with people I wanted to consider as friends. It was my naïve, wishful self that put on a peppy song and looped my fingers over Felix's on the gearstick.

            When we arrived at the venue—an old bar that was practically falling down—after dropping Felix's car to his house and catching an Uber, Poppy came up to us with Ella in tow, practically bouncing as she hugged us each.

Ella had short hair—the kind that had grown back after shaving it completely. I devoured her goth-meets-chic outfit with her fishnets and preppy blazer with awe.

            "I'm so excited to go inside. It's freezing out—did you know Jada actually invited Arjun?"

            "Wow," I said. Poppy's eyebrows were practically in her hairline.

            "Come on, let's go get drinks," Ella said, taking Poppy's hand and leading us all inside.

            It was already warm with bodies, the lights low and the smell of alcohol almost suffocating. I made a beeline for the bar, flashing my fake ID and gulping down the cheapest beer on the menu.

            "Wow, take it easy," Felix joked, putting a hand on my back.

            There was no way I was going to survive tonight if I wasn't at least somewhat intoxicated.

            "Come on, I think I just saw Cole."

            I followed Felix through the crowd that was slowly growing, recognizing people from class. When I'd envisioned my college experience, this is what I'd hoped for. Grungy bands, cheap beer and a crowd full of young adults without a single care in the world.

            "Guys, hey!" Jada said as she finally found us mingling by the stage. A guy with tan skin and a wide smile had his hand on her back. "This is Arjun."

            "Hey, Arjun," Poppy said, whispering something in Ella's ear to make her laugh. Felix slapped him on the back and Cole gave him a sharp nod.

            Poppy and Ella delivered us handfuls of shots while the DJ played hype up songs, the floor starting to get sticky. Felix was trying to get me to twirl beneath his fingers when I noticed Jada laughing into her hands at something Arjun was saying.

            "It looks like she likes him," I mused, taking Felix's hand and looping my fingers through so he couldn't pester me anymore.

            He looked over his shoulder. "Huh, it does."

            I smiled as the lights dimmed and the band finally made it to the stage. The way they swayed made me wonder if they were drunk, or whether it was just me drifting off balance. When they started playing, I thought my throat might go hoarse with yelling, Felix's arm going over my shoulder and Coles' going over the other. For a moment I was lost in the energy—in feeling a part of something.

            It was almost easy to forget about all that was haunting me.

            Once the set had finished and I was queueing at the bar again, I caught sight of Cole darting through the crowd towards the bathrooms. He probably needed to pee. That was most likely.

            Only, his pace and the fact he kept looking over his shoulder made me wonder if there was something more.

            I looked to where Felix was chatting with Ella and Poppy, trying to animate something with his hands, and to where Jada was now dancing with Arjun, his hand close to her butt and her lips against his ear. Yikes.

            It was easy to slip away, abandoning my spot at the bar to follow Cole. I was careful to keep enough distance that he wouldn't see me. He kept looking over his shoulder, and I tried to use the crowd as a shield.

            When I saw him leaning against the brick by the smoking balcony, I almost had to do a double take. Cole was sitting on one of the chairs, his fists balled around his hair and his elbows against his knees. I lingered there for a moment before someone rudely shoved past me. When I looked back, Cole was looking to the sky, flipping his phone over in his palm.

            What had him looking so... upset?

            Seconds later my question was answered. A girl with purple hair and a cute dress stood up from a group of people further down and made her way to Cole, tapping him on the shoulder and leaning forward to whisper in his ear. I had to squint to make it out, but I swear I saw her hand press against his chest, and for a moment I was sure I'd caught Cole Kensington red-handed.

            But, then I saw what she was really doing. She was putting something in his pocket. She winked at him and turned away, the encounter lasting barely ten seconds. I walked backward, stepping into another half-dozen people and landing in Felix's arms.

            "Hey, I was just looking for you," he said, amused. "Where's my drink, Preston?"

            I gathered my composure, poked my tongue at him and took his hand to lead us back to the bar.

            After another round of drinks and the music still blaring, the vibrations from the speakers rumbling beneath my boots, I found myself on the dance floor with Felix. I wasn't sure where the others had gone, and I'd lost track of Cole since I'd seen him on the balcony. Now, it was just me and him and dozens of strangers keeping us packed close together.

Felix looked amazing in the low light, his skin shiny and his lips more appealing than ever before. I stood on my toes so I could kiss him, my hands wrapping around his neck before finding his hair, pulling him as close as possible. We swayed—just another couple making out on the dance floor—until I felt someone pull the corner of my jacket.

"Guys, we're going to leave. Jada—"

Whatever Poppy was saying became inaudible as the crowd cheered the beginning of another song. We followed Poppy and Ella towards the exit where we could hear better.

"Something happened to Jada, she's—"

She didn't need to finish her sentence as we spilled out of the bar and spotted Jada slumped against the wall. She was crying, hard.

Felix instantly ran to her, putting his hands on her shoulders and asking her questions.

"She's pretty drunk," Poppy said to me, her tone thick with concern. "Arjun left a while ago but I think half of that was Jada's choice. I don't know what's sparked this."

"I just—I just want to go home," Jada moaned.

"We'll get you home, it's okay," Felix said in reassurance, looking up to Ella. "Have you guys called for a car?"

Poppy nodded, her auburn hair bouncing upon her shoulders. Even with all the dancing, she still managed to look angelic.

Once the five of us had piled into an extra-large car, Jada's head resting in Poppy's lap and me and Felix's hands clasped between us, I started to wonder what exactly I could report to Penelope. Cole had disappeared, and I'd seen a girl put something in his pocket. Possibly drugs? It didn't seem like much, but maybe it would mean more to her. I could only hope it would.

Felix and I were the last two left in the car, my head nestled in the crook of his neck. We hadn't exactly talked about what we were going to do next, but I already knew what I wanted. And judging by the way his hand traced patterns on my bare thigh, I had a feeling he did too.