Thanks insistency for the aesthetic above! it fits the story so well 🥰

Comment of the chapter is KellyGe for her analysis of Josie's cover:

And finally--I won't make this too much longer--I have some exciting news. I'm behind on my posting schedule (this book has to be complete by October as I'm posting SCAREBNB as of the 1st) sooo I'm gonna have to update more frequently.

Would you guys prefer bonus updates on weekends or another update spread throughout the week? 😉

I did my best to pretend I hadn't seen the text, but it had my insides squirming. Was this a diversion? Was Felix onto me?

I stood to join Felix in the kitchen, trying my best to act nonchalant.

"Hey, um, thanks for tonight," I said slowly.

Felix spun around from where he'd been looking through his wine collection. We'd already finished a bottle between us over the period it took to prepare dinner and consume it.

"Of course," he said. His brows furrowed, and the expression on his face was enough to melt my heart. This would be a lot easier if Cole didn't have attractive friends. Had I been played? "Are you wanting to leave already?"

I shrugged, playing with my thumbnail. "I don't know, it's getting a bit late."

Felix paused, looking at me curiously. "That's fine. Is everything okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it's actually been a really lovely time."

"You don't want to hang a bit longer?"

I tilted my head to the side, wondering what exactly it was he was distracting me from. How much did he know? Was Penelope's plan futile?

The frustrating thing was, I did want to hang longer. I wanted to hear him laugh and see him brush his hair from his brow, his lashes heavy over his entrancing gaze. But it was a ruse. I knew that now. It had to be.

I shrugged as he rounded me, landing back at the dining table.

"How about I show you around a bit? I didn't give you a tour. I didn't make this place cool without the hopes of showing it off to someone."

I hesitated. I watched as he picked his phone up from the table, frowning at it.

"Is everything okay?" I asked. I examined his reaction, his raised brows and the carefree way he shoved his phone into his black jeans.

"Yeah, I just had to give Cole my notes for the online quiz tonight. The dude hasn't studied all semester."

The quiz. I'd submitted mine last night. It was an incredibly plausible explanation. Suddenly, I realized I might have been overreacting majorly.

"Right, the quiz," I said, shaking the last of the doubt from my mind. It was the only explanation that made sense, after all. How would Felix know about my deal with Penelope? There would be no way.

"Did you do it?"

I nodded as he held out a hand for me to follow him. We wandered towards the back of the house. Out of the door was a small deck overlooking the woods. The rain had subsided, the wood still wet. Felix flicked a switch to the side and suddenly the reflection of the rain was dancing in gold. Lanterns were strung around the handrail, twisted amongst vine leaves and pine.

I wandered to the edge, breathing in the scent of wet earth and the cool night.

"Did you do this yourself?"

He shrugged. "I saw the idea in a magazine. I'm into design and stuff, I sort of want to get into the industry one day. I was excited to move into this place—I mean, not because I hated living with my parents—but it was my own place to decorate, you know?"

I looked down, and suddenly I felt the pressure of tears in my throat. It always happened like this, when I thought too hard about it. I was excited to move out, too, but for different reasons. The luxury of decorating a space that was mine was a faraway dream.

I could never tell him I lived in a dirty apartment with four other people I barely knew. I couldn't tell him I spent last semester cleaning AirBnBs to get by, or that I never wanted to speak to my parents again. He would never understand.

"I get it," I said, another lie to add to the pile. "It's really cool. That you've done this, I mean."

And I meant it. I could see the shine in his eyes—the spark of excitement that had ignited. It wasn't something easily seen in many people, the emergence of passion. For a moment, I was so envious it hurt.

"Isn't it weird that we go our whole lives being someone, and then when we go off to college and move to a new environment it's just so easy to be someone else?"

"It's so easy," I said, trying to hide the crack in my voice. Huh, maybe I had underestimated Felix. He was more introspective than I'd expected. It made it hard to lie. I cleared my throat. "It's like we're put into this mold and grow and grow until we fill it. Then we break out, and there's all this room to move."

"Exactly. I think we take it for granted, sometimes. That we're in this new town, with new people. I only knew the others when I came here, and now I feel like we're all someone else."

This was my chance to divert the conversation, to get back to my main purpose. But I couldn't.

"Who were you before?" I asked, giving him a playful smile. We were both leaning on the handrails now, our elbows propped and almost touching. In front of us, for as far as I could see, was darkness.

"A stranger," he said.

A stranger. I'd never heard it worded so simply. I was a stranger. Joselyn Crawford was a stranger. I didn't know her anymore, and I didn't want to. I didn't have to.

I hadn't even noticed our conversation had evaporated to silence until Felix looked at me again. His features were swimming in the light from the lantern, playing with the angles and creases of his lips.

My chest was hammering, and I wondered if he could hear it too. I wanted him to kiss me so bad it was physically hurting, even though I knew so well the repercussions. I knew how much it would hurt in the long run to let me feel it.

"Why did you decide to sit in that seat?" he asked after what felt like an eternity. I realized I'd been holding my breath.

"You're so hung up on that seat."

"I am. I want to know."

I shook my head, blushing now. Then I realized maybe this would be a good out. I could put all of his suspicion into one simple explanation.

"I..." I looked away, finally breaking our eye contact. I was finally able to find my bearings. "I don't know, to be honest. I think it was a subconscious thing. I just thought one day, hey, I should just... make an effort."

"Josie," he said, his tone playful. "Did you sit there to get my attention?"

I scoffed. "No."

But my shameful giggle gave it away. God, my flirtation was appalling.

He caught my gaze again, and this time I knew there was no escaping. He inched closer. Just enough that he could reach his opposite arm over to touch mine.

"You could have spoken to me, you know. You didn't have to invade our lecture seat territory."

"Oh?"

He winked. His god damn wink.

"I knew who you were. I'd noticed you last semester, the girl in the corner who never looked our way. I thought you might have hated us. For talking through class and stuff."

"You thought I was uptight?" I asked. A genuine laugh bubbled in my chest. "I am the least uptight person you could ever meet."

"I didn't think you were uptight," he said. "I just thought... you were out of my league."

"No."

"Yes."

I shook my head, now speechless. If he was trying to trick me it was working. I looked to our surroundings again. I should be freezing right now, outside without a jacket, but my heart was racing and my body felt hot all over.

"I think you're playing me, Felix," I said quietly. Bravely, I looked to him again, knowing full well what that would mean for my willpower.

"I would never."

Felix lowered his chin, his face tipping towards mine so close I could feel his heat against my cheeks. He moved slowly, slow enough I had every opportunity to back away. To run.

But I didn't.

His lips found mine and the next thing I knew I was falling, so hard and fast that I had to dig my nails into my palm to stop myself. This couldn't mean anything.

I pulled away, reluctant to meet his gaze, my fingers still cradling his jaw. I hadn't even noticed them move there. I dropped them to my side.

"Felix, I—" But I couldn't choke out whatever explanation I was going to give. I couldn't do this. If he knew my purpose—that the only reason I was here was to divulge information about his best friend for their girlfriend—he'd hate me. He would despise me so bad that he'd kick me out of his house.

"You okay?"

I nodded. "Just, we should go inside. It's cold."

But I'd never felt so warm in my life.

Later on that night, after Felix had dropped me back to Penelope's building after a rather polite and respectful hug goodbye, I sprawled out on Penelope's sofa and dialed her number.

"Josie," she answered, her tone quick. "What's happened? Did you go to the party?"

"Uh, not exactly," I said quickly.

"What?"

I quickly told her about Felix's diversion. Cole's text and the study explanation. After getting pissed about me not getting to this so-called exclusive party and then swearing I wouldn't get my bonus—the least of my worries, now—she slowly grew more calculating.

"Felix is a great strategy, at least. I never would have thought of him as a good avenue," she said. Her analysis sounded so clinical.

"I mean, he seemed..." I didn't know how to word it. "I feel guilty."

"Guilty? Oh, Josie, it's harmless. Don't worry. Felix plays with so many girls hearts, he's basically been a chronic heartbreaker since..."

Her words trailed off, like she'd gotten distracted.

"Penelope?"

"Hmm? Oh, right. Yeah, don't worry too much. Just play along. Felix is a good way to keep tabs. Just be careful, don't let him be any more suspicious than he is. And as for Cole, I want more details. You won't get your bonus until you have some solid updates by the end of next week. I have to go, but we'll talk later. Bye!"

I sighed, putting my phone back into my pocket and turning to my side, hugging one of Penelope's embroidered cushions to my chest. I stupidly wanted to confide in her about the kiss. Either for reassurance I was doing the right thing or just to talk about it with someone. It had been a long time since I'd had a proper friend, and right now I felt more clouded than ever.

I wish I didn't kiss him—didn't expose myself to the feelings ricocheting through my head now because of it. I'd gone from being on the defense in trying to decipher Felix's game to dabbling in feelings that could get me hurt. That could even get him hurt.

I tried to shake it off. I wished I had my headphones so I could blast something so loud it'd take the thoughts from my mind, but it was too cold and dark outside for me to be motivated enough to get up an catch a ride home. I closed my eyes, pretending for a second that I'd just gone on a real date with Felix, that none of this was a factor and that the connection we'd shared was real. Had he really noticed me before I'd gone undercover for Pen? With my invisible clothes and evasive personality? Or was this all just a method of him examining me, of testing his suspicions?

All I knew was that if I wanted to escape from my dingy apartment and the remnants of my parents that still clung to me like a spider's web, I needed to keep pretending. I needed to fall for Felix and all he could give me to get close to Cole. I could only hope that the secrets Penelope were after were enough to prove they were in the wrong. Then, maybe I could rid myself of the guilt.

In the meantime, my focus would be to eliminate any feelings I might have for Felix. All while, on the outside, I fell for him hard.