-Many Years Ago-

"Kokoro! Mayumi! Get inside!" And my sister groaned, "come on aren't you going to join Kokoro?" Mayumi asked as I kept trying to peek above the fence.

"In a minute!" I told her as I finally grabbed onto the fence and peeked over to see him playing.

Mayumi grinned "oooh someone has a crush~" she teased and I blushed "no I don't! He just has really cool paints..." I told her.

It was true he had so many and they were all so colorful! Like a rainbow that was shattered and spread all across his yard.

"Yeah right" Mayumi teased and I rolled my eyes "Mom's going to kill you if you stay out here for to long, we have dance practice after this" Mayumi pointed out.

"That stuff is so booooooring" I complained "I wish I could paint like him..." I whispered to myself starstruck.

"Yeah right you know Mom thinks artist are dead beats!" Mayumi mentioned and I ignored her continuing to look at the artist next door.

"Ugh stop ignoring me Kokoro!" Mayumi complained "shh, he might hear you" I warned her when I heard my Mother calling.

"KOKORO EKATSIM OSAKA GET YOUR SORRY A** OVER HERE" My Mother called and I winced.

Why is it always me? Mayumi was outside still to. I reluctantly walked over as my Mother gripped tightly onto my arm as I cried out in pain.

"Mother! Please stop! It hurts!" I cried out but she ignored me as she threw me down into the chair and grabbed me by the hair.

"So you think you can do whatever you want huh? Think you don't have to listen to your Mother? Think your so special don't you?" My Mother shouted.

"No Mother! I'm sorry please stop your hurting me!" I screamed as she bashed my head against the table. She then paused before saying "give me your arms" and I paled.

"No...no please..." I begged her as she grabbed my arms and looked at my finger nails "you really should have listened to Mummy..." she commented as she started pushing on one as I screamed.

"Then you wouldn't have to be punished" she stated blankly.

-/-/-

I laid on my bed using my pillow to cover up my cries of pain so Mother wouldn't come back.

It hurts...I sniffled as I looked at my fingers now without the nails and the blood I could feel staining my shirt and back. It hurts so much...I burried my face further trying to ignore the pain when Mayumi walked in.

"Why does she always talk to you? That's so unfair" Mayumi complained "I do so much stuff to get her attention yet it's always you!" She screamed and I looked at her in shock.

"I bet you pretended to get hurt just so Mum would love you!" My jaw dropped.

"Are you serious?" I asked her expecting this to be some kind of joke "no! Mum's always talking to you it's so unfair!" Mayumi screamed.

"SHE BEATS ME! MOTHER HURTS ME AND YOUR JEALOUS?!" I screamed at her and Mayumi gritted her teeth.

"You liar! Mum would never hurt anyone! You just want attention and sympathy cause your a brat! Everyone at school knows that to!" She screamed.

What...even Mayumi thinks that...? But we siblings...what did I do...?

She then glared down at me "just leave me alone, I don't like liars like you and I don't want anyone to think I'm an attention hog like you" she sneered before leaving the room.

All I could do was stare at that door as I got up to finally get some bandages. Looks like it's going to scar again...

-The Next Day-

"Look over there" someone whispered as I trudged down the hall. It was hard to walk after the beating Mother had given me.

"Look at her she is covered in bandages" the other replied and I could feel stares piling up on me. Leave me alone...leave me alone...please.

"She looks pathetic" one laughed and I turned over to Mayumi who was in front of me "big sister-" I started when I got a hard sucker punch as a response and I fell to the ground.

"Don't address me while we are at school" she said coldly "if anyone knew I was related to you...it would make my life h*ll..." she responded and turned away.

Mayumi...not even you like or appreciate me...why...why can't I just disapear if no one wants me in this world!

I grabbed on the locker trying to get up when I felt a warm hand tap me on the shoulder "are...you ok?" They asked and I gasped.

It was the artist from next door "yeah I'm fine..." I started before my body gave in to the pain I was experiencing and everything went black.

-/-/-

It's so bright...I blinked as I looked over to my side to see the artist sitting next to me. Immeditaly I blushed before trying to sit up to look less embarrassing.

"No, stay down" they said sternly pushing me back down "so...how did you get those wounds?" They asked curious and I started sweating.

"Heh just an accident nothing to worry about" I lied but they clearly didn't believe me "yeah an accident tore off all your finger nails, and your whole body covered in scars" I paused unable to respond.

"They'll grow back...they always do..." I told him simply "so this isn't the first time this happened to you?" He asked and I sighed.

"I'm fine ok, please believe me" I told/begged him. They just laughed in response "last time you said that I recall you fainting and me carrying you to the nurses office and waiting two hours for you to wake up" he joked.

"I...you carried me?!" I asked feeling like my face was like a tomato, they nodded "yup, surprisingly your lighter than my three year old niece...that's not a good thing..." he commented.

I shifted uneasily "I'm just on a diet...my Mother is training me to be a dancer and they need to be thin..." I told him.

He smiled "so your an artist?" He asked and I sighed "I guess in dance...I really hate it though to be honest and I want to do something else but my Mother will only let me do dance because I have the feet she never had for it" I vented.

"I try so hard to tell what I want to do with my life but every time I do...she..." I then started crying into my hands trying to hide it.

The boy paused before saying "I recognize you" he stated "your the girl from next door...always spying on me over the fence" I didn't respond as I tried my best to keep myself from sobbing remembering the times I tried to stand up for myself.

"Stop crying it makes you look weak" they spouted and I turned to them as I finally sat up again.

"There no crying, honestly it's a waste of hydration" he scolded and I wiped them away.

"What so you never cried before?" I asked him and he shook his head "why would I? I am not dying I have everything I need in life" they responded with a shrug.

"Hmm" he pondered staring at me "you do seem to be a good candidate" he decided and I looked at him confused.

"Canidate for what?" I asked and he looked at me as if it was obvious "friendship, of course my name is Ahsahi Ouma, I am in my first year of high school" he reached out to shaks my hand which I took nervously.

"My name is Kokoro Osaka...I'm still in middle school..." I told him and they shrugged.

"Age does not matter, what is yours?" He asked and I shifted "fourteen..." I responded and he shrugged "sixteen see the distance is not great" wow...someone older than me...yet they want to be my friend...this is exciting...

I nodded and he then smiled "with that we are now friends Osaka" he told me and I nodded "ok..."

-1 Year Later-

"KOKORO!" My Mother shouted as I walked back in the house sporting a cigarette "what's wrong?" I asked her lazily.

"Your grades! They are horrendous- IS THAT A CIGARETTE WHO GAVE YOU A CIGARETTE?" She screames grabbing it and shoving me against the wall.

I can't let Ouma get hurt! I knew I should have put it in an ashtray before coming in!

"Nowhere Mother" I lied trying to keep my composure and she laughed "we'll see in a few minutes whether or not it was nothing" she threatened as she kneed me in the stomach as I saw her near with a frying pan in hand as my eyes widened in fear.

-/-/-

"Your Mother needs to stop hitting you in the stomach at one point your going to need to go to the hospital again for internal bleeding" Ouma mentioned as I winced as they applied disinfectant.

"Yeah, I know..." I responded adjusting my mask "so where are we spray painting today?" I asked him.

"Meh today I just wanted to eat some chips and talk to you" he told me and I looked at him confused.

Every night since the day I met him we were always getting into trouble. He said that if we were going to be friends I needed to do what he said so I agreed.

At first it felt...wrong spray painting people's homes and buisnesses...trashing cars...but then it started to feel like a routine which scared me. Finally I just felt like every act of deviance was a shot against my Mom for everything she had ever done to me. For leaving me alone and hurting me all those years...

I still feel guilty sometimes when we do things like this. Because I know he didn't pay for this chips...but. I'm scared of being alone again. I don't want to be alone for as long as possible! He makes me feel...wanted.

This probably isn't smart. When I disobey he threatens to leave me...and...I can't be alone anymore. I think I love him...

I love it when he smiles...and asks me why I am hurt...even if it is just so he knows how far he can push me before I need to go to a hospital...he's a rock. A cold one...but the only one I have ever recieved before...

So what if I have to do these bad things? So what if I am a criminal? So what if I am failing school and my health is deteriorating...for once in my life...

I feel like I can be loved.

"Look" he said pointing at the stars in the sky and I stared at them in awe "there so pretty..." I whispered to myself when I felt him put his arm around me.

"Those stars are the only good things in this world" he told me and I couldn't help but agree "what about you?" I asked. I already knew I was vile.

"People like you and me? We can earn our place and become pure" he said and my eyes widened "how?" I asked and they grinned.

"I don't know yet...but...while we still have an ounce of purity...we must cleanse this disgusting world" he stared off in the distance and though he was right beside me I knew he was in his mind thousands of miles away.

"You sure...everything is bad?" I asked, secretly hoping for something to put my hopes in.

He looked at me as if I should have already known the answer "look at yourself" he said and I looked at him confused.

"What do you mean-" I asked and he rolled up my jackets sleeve to reveal the bandages from earlier.

"Look at yourself, a world where this goes unpunished is vile and proves my point" he stated. I felt myself shaking for some reason "what point?" I asked and he looked down at me.

"No one loves you" he said blankly and my eyes widened as I felt tears coming. I shook my head "no...your wrong, I-" I started but he shushed me quicky.

"Your Mother uses you as a punching bag, your sister treats you like a doormat and pretends you don't exist, the school treats you like a freak and harasses you, your father didn't even care enough to see you get born, the teachers gave up on you" he slated as if he was reciting a grocery list.

I felt tears in my eyes as I cried but then he grabbed my face, it made me feel uncomfortable.

"But" he started "I actually find use for your existence" he said "I actually will take notice of your health, and I am the only one who ever will" I shook my head.

"That's not true-" I started and he looked at me coldly "you know it is, so your mine" he said.

"I'm not an item-" I started and he nodded "I know that, but your something broken and no one cares for broken things...are you really going to run away from the one person who can handle how damaged you are?" He asked.

I paused before answering "no..." I told him and he let go pushing me a little "good" he said going back to looking at the sky.

"Just you wait Osaka...I will save us from this vile world" he vowed and I just looked down trying to hide how much his words hurt me and the fear of what I was getting myself into.

-3 Months Later-

I laid on my back as I tried studying for my exams. Ouma told me if I didn't pass my exams he would leave me because he didn't have time to spend with someone so ignorant.

I groaned as I felt nauseous again. It's been happening for over a few weeks now, ever since Ouma's requests have gone...more private.

I didn't like doing that...but...he keeps threatening to leave. And I don't want to be alone anymore! He's right...I'm nothing. Nothing without him, because I'm weak.

I'm stupid, I have no purpose and I give nothing to do the world. Empty space that can easily be filled and nothing would change if I was never born.

He says he's the only one who will ever deal with dead meat like me...so I have to obey. No matter how much it terrifies me.

Ugh...please don't throw up again...I begged myself as I decided to take a break getting out of my room as I grabbed some medicine for my stomach.

Mayumi walked in before stopping "oh shoot I forgot to tell you- I switched out your birth control with mints" she told me and I paled.

"See this is why you don't use my shampoo-" she started when I pushed her against the wall and stared at her in fear and rage.

"What did you just say?" I asked and she fought me off "yeah like a month ago, sorry about that not like anyone would sleep with you anyways just thought you ought to know"

Time froze.

The stomach pains...me throwing up...those weird cravings...no...please it can't be...

I fell to my knees in shock as I stared down at my stomach in fear before running back into the bathroom and locking the door.

Fearfully I removed my shirt and turned to the side to get a better view of my stomach.

There was a bump.

Maybe I'm overreacting...I mean it could just be my diet...yeah...diet...I don't always eat healthy...

I tried to reassure myself as I quickly put my shirt back on and a jacket as I grabbed some money I made on my part time job and ran out to the nearest convenient store.

Your fine...your fine...your fine...I repeated to myself like a chant as I bought some pregnancy tests getting some odd looks and headed home taking a deep breath.

It's going to be ok...your not...you can't be...I'm just fifteen...there's no freaking way I can be...

I took a deep breath as I got out one of the tests from the packet...

-/-/-

"KOKORO! OPEN THE DOOR YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR AN HOUR!" My Mother yelled as I laid on the floor not even being able to comprehend what was happening.

All I could do was stare at the test in my hand. That postive pregnancy test...

I'm pregnant...she's going to kill me...I stiffled a cry as I looked down at my stomach. I can't be a Mother...I don't know anything about being a parent and my Mother is no example...

"KOKORO! OPEN THE D*MN DOOR OR SO HELP ME-" She started when I opened the door and stared at her knowing my eyes were red and tear stained.

"Finally get out of my f*cking way" she told me but then looked down at my hand.

"What do you have...?" She asked and I quickly tried hiding it behind my back.

"Nothing..." I said quietly before she gave me the look and reached for it as I tried fighting her off.

Eventually she managed to grab it and my face paled as she stared at it and then me.

"You little sl*t" she said looking at me and then my stomach "we can't have you going around getting pregnant" she said grabbing my arm and dragging me towards the kitchen.

"Mother...? What are you doing-" I started but then paled as she grabbed a large kitchen knife...

"Stay still Kokoro- I'll make it quick" I glanced at her and the knife "what are you going to do-AHHHHH" I screamed as she tried to stab me in the stomach but I blocked with my hand.

My Mother stared at me "I'll call an ambulance this time...just let me take care of the problem..." she told me sternly as I released myself from her grasp protecting my belly.

"ARE YOU MENTAL?! I WON'T LET YOU KILL THEM!" I screamed at her as I ran out of the house as fast as I could.

My Mother stepped out the door and screamed "YOU TAKE ANOTHER D*MN STEP AND YOU ARE NEVER WELCOMED IN THIS HOUSEHOLD AGAIN!" She screamed. I stopped and looked at her and then my belly.

Maybe she won't ever love me but...if I am so lucky...they will.

I looked at my Mother one last time and stared at her, "I never wanted to be apart of it anyway" I told her and began running down the street as fast as I could.

-1 Week Later-

I lifted my face up when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was on the streets since Mother was the only family I had and I was scared of how Ouma would take the news.

My eyes widened as Ouma looked down at me curious "I am pretty sure I told you to study" he mentioned and I just went back to my former postion my head in my knees.

"Hey get up, what's wrong did they hurt you again?" I rolled up my jacket sleeve and showed him my hand which had a deep knife wound in it still.

"Knew it, but why didn't you simply just go to my house?" He asked and I looked him in the eyes before I whispered "I'm pregnant"

He looked at me confused "you were to quiet say it again" he told me and I shifted uneasily "I'm pregnant" I told him louder and his eyes widened.

"We're having a kid..." he said almost to himself "well that settles it" he said helping me up by the good hand.

"Settles...what?" I asked and he flashed me a grin "well now I defintly need to purify this world if a child of mine is going to have to live in it" he told me and tears filled up my eyes.

"So you aren't abandoning me?" I asked him and he looked at me as if I was crazy.

"Of course not, it's like I said" he started "your something broken and no one cares for broken things, I am the one person who can handle how damaged you are" he stated.

"Where will we live?" I asked and he seemed to ponder for a second "we will have to work hard for you to still graduate as far as you can, my parents have left town for a few months so it's safe to stay at mine for a while" he noted.

I nodded nervously as he grabbed my hand and guided my through the streets.

Is this love? Is this how he shows he loves me?

-4 Months Later-

I covered my ears as I heard Ouma yelling at his parents. Stop it...stop it...STOP IT!

I screamed in my head as I stared down at my stomach and sighed "I hope things will be better when your here...only four more months...then I'll figure out if I have a beautiful daughter or handsome son..." I said with a smile.

I was currently residing in the guest room and it's been going all right I managed to keep doing my schooling using baggy clothing to hide my pregnancy and the money from my part time job for tuition.

It could be better I admit, like how I wish Ouma would actually try and help me so we can take care of our kid such as buying some diapers or the crib.

But it's fine...he gave us a home...so I can just get another job...make some more money that way...while he is spending whatever leftovers I haven't put in a savings account fast enough towards drugs and cigarettes.

He'll stop once the baby is here.

I nodded to myself, I'm sure of it...he has to...otherwise...I sniffled a bit looking at my belly.

I'm sorry...for being stuck with me as a Mother...I'm probably not good enough for you...but...

I'll love you more than anything. That I will always promise. I won't let you end up like me...broken.

"Osaka" Ouma called as I stood up "your going to have to leave" he said packing my bags and I stared at him in shock.

"But I have nowhere to go-" I started but he cut me off "I know that" he said a bit disgruntled.

"They are vile...don't worry I'm graduating this year and once I'm out I'll look for you" he reassured me.

"But what about the baby? I don't even have a home and what if you don't keep your word-" I asked but then revieved a harsh slap across the face as I looked at him in disbelief.

"Did I ask you for questions? Do as I say or else" he threatened as I found myself shaking in fear.

I just felt myself shaking as I stared at this boy. The boy who promised to deal with how broken I was. The boy who claimed he was the only one who could ever love me. The boy who made me do things I wasn't ready for or never wanted to do. The boy who I thought at the very least would never hurt me.

"You..." I spoke raspily and he looked at me "Osaka" he said calmly "do as I say" he repeated and I obeyed because that was the only thing I could even do at that point.

I messed up. I really messed up. But there's no way out...

"But I don't want others to think that they can take you" he said "after all that's stealing" he then grabbed my arm and rolled my sleeve up and produced a pocket knife.

"What are you-AHHHH" I screamed as he began to carve into my arm.

He glared at me "stay still or I might cut a vein" he yelled at me as I felt myself shaking as he carved his name into my very flesh...

"There. Now they will know your mine" he said with a dark grin on his face as I cried from the pain and the blood that was staining the carpet.

-3 Weeks Later-

"Oi" Someone called and I immediately walked faster trying to avoid any and all contact. I was walking to a little area I had found a few days ago where I was living.

So far I had yet to find a home in which I could afford but I tried to make the best of things and eat as healthy as I could.

I probably chose a bad area though...so far for the last few days a lot of people have been giving me funny looks and to be honest it's terrifying.

So far I am trying to mask my true age and I think it's working sort of fine if I pull my hoodie up. I just think if they assume I'm just some adult they won't mess with me as much.

Sadly...that's not really working either. Ouma basically abandoned me after he and his parents had that fight...and I've been thinking a lot about our relationship.

It...doesn't seem healthy. Not that I have much experience but whenever I saw other couples or heard of successful ones when I was still in school or from what I saw.

They were nothing like me and him. For starters we still don't even call each other by our first names.

Along with how he is always making me do things for him claiming if I don't he'll leave. When I've seen couples at my job they never ask anything from their partner.

But maybe I'm just over thinking things...it's not like I can leave anyway...it's like he said...I'm useless to anyone. Except him.

So why should I try to run when there's nowhere to go...if I go to the police I know once my baby is born they will take them away from me.

I know this might be selfish but...I want to be able to raise my kid. It's my responsibility right? And if anyone is ever going to actually need me, it's them.

I just hope I don't let them or myself down. But...I'm so tired...I just hope...I can make it...

I noticed an ominous figure walking towards me when I finally gave in to my tiredness and fell asleep.

-/-/-

I woke up feeling warm. And in a place I didn't recognize so immediately I freaked out. Oh shoot where am I? I got up not even realizing I was in a bed and looked around my surroundings.

Seems to be a house...and I'm not even restrained in any way...h*ll my backpack is still in one piece.

I searched my backpack and found even the kitchen knife I had taken with me for self defense was still in there.

I opened the door nervously as I searched around for an exit when an bit more than a young man walked in front of me.

"Oh dear looks she's awake" he commented and I stood there awardly "where am I?" I asked and he beckoned me to follow.

Next thing you know I am sitting at a kitchen table. Oh gosh please tell me I wasn't kidnapped...that's the last thing I need I don't want any more drama.

"Uh...so can you answer my question now?" I asked and he nodded "yes so me and my wife were walking home and we found you passed out under that old bridge...my wife happened to notice you were pregnant and we thought it would be best if we took you home with us" oh...

"Oh...well uh thank you, uhm that was actually very kind of you" I said surprised. Maybe not everyone in this world is bad after all...

"Yes are you ok? Why are you on the streets? And you seem awfully young to be pregnant, where's the father?" He asked almost like he was interrogating me.

I shifted uneasily, "yes I am fine now, thank you...uhm the reason is pretty complicated and I don't want to drag you into this...but uh the Father can't be here with me for a while..." I said the last part in almost a whisper deliberately not telling the man my age out of fear they would call the cops.

The man took notice of my vague to say the least answers "you really can't tell anything? Try me" he said and I looked down.

"My old home life wasn't the greatest...and when they discovered I was pregnant...things escalated...I had to leave out of fear for my safety" I answered honestly.

"Here you go" a women, probably his wife, said and she handed me a bowl of miso and my eyes filled up with tears.

"What's wrong did I do something wrong?" She asked concerned and I shook my head "it's just...no one's ever made me a meal before..." I said wiping the tears out of my eyes.

"Thank you so much for your kindness" I told her, these people are so nice...this is unbelievable...Ouma...he said the world was rotten...and vile...but if people like this can exist...was he wrong?

I ate the meal and occasionally answered questions they asked trying not to say to much till finally one question broke me.

"This boy, does he treat your right? Obviously not if he left you alone to fend for yourself on the streets" the man commented. My eyes widened "I...he just can't" I told him trying to find words to defend him with.

"Your...are you even dating?" He asked further and I paused, are we? We never actually said anything about it...

"I guess?" I told him unsure "how does he treat you?" He asked further. I paused choosing my words carefully "he treats me as I am, broken and useless...he reminds me of it at times...but it's just like he said...no one else but him will ever be able to deal with someone like me" I answered feeling tears in my eyes.

"This sounds abusive" the man told me and I looked at him confused "I don't really understand...what is he supposed to do?" I asked him.

"Why haven't you ever been loved by someone before?" The women asked and I shook my head.

"No...I'm the result of a one night stand so I never knew my Father...and my Mother...well she's not the loving type and I don't think she gives a d*mn about me" I answered honestly.

"You mentioned an older sister, what about her?" She inquired further and I shrugged "I don't know...we've never been close...she isn't like my Mother but at the same time she also doesn't seem to like me..." I said in sort of a whisper.

"Ouma was the first one to ever actually seem concerned about my well being..." I told them, "so in turn that means I have to do anything to keep him from leaving...that's love right?" I asked them.

"Of course not!" The women exclaimed "if he loved you he wouldn't ask anything of you or treat you as he has!" She exclaimed and the man nodded.

Are...they right...? Is he really...taking advantge of me...? But I...

"Still he's the only one I have...maybe if I could be so lucky this little guy or girl when they grow up..." I told them.

I then stood up and picked up my bag "until then...I thank you again for listening and the soup, it was delicious" I told them bowing a bit before I started to leave.

"But wait-" the women called but her husband stopped her. I cast them one final look as I walked away from the man and the women with long red hair.

-5 Months Later-

"Shhh" I whispered to Kokichi trying to get him to fall back asleep. It's been a few weeks since I had him and honestly it still feels surreal.

I am actually a mother.

I never heard back from Ouma but I still gave him his last name in case he ever comes looking for us. It felt nice though this break of not having to do anything I didn't want to do.

Sure...we didn't have much. I am so lucky I even convinced the land owner to let me live here because just a few days later I had Kokichi.

He's perfect.

I wonder who he'll look more like as he gets older, me or his Father? So far he seems to have my skin tone and he was very small and I'm scared that was my fault for how I lived during my pregnancy.

I managed to get most of the things I needed from people who work with me and from my wages.

So far I've saved everything that I didn't need for us to live for his college. I can already tell he's going to be a smart cookie.

If only your Father could see you...

I thought to myself as I settled him down looking at the bills. If I get some discounts for our food then we can pay for the heat...maybe if I start dancing on the street I can earn some money through street performing? But no...I would need to pay them more for watching Kokichi I don't want him near all that smoke.

I sighed. I can do this...I can do this...I assured myself looking back at the small crib and the sleeping boy inside as I smiled a little.

*DING DONG*

What? Who can that be? I got up and walked over to see Ouma standing at the door.

My eyes widened as he walked in univited. I immeditaly started with the questions "how did you find us?" I asked and he looked at me.

"It was easy I went to where you worked part time and they told me where you lived, your bump is gone so are they here?" He asked.

I nodded "yeah...you have a son, I named him Kokichi" I told him "Kokichi Ouma" I said with a smile.

"Kokichi? Well it will have to do...so when can I meet the little...thing" I cringed at the word thing but I held a finger to my lips as I guided him to the one bedroom and showed him.

"Isn't he prescious?" I told him grinning. He looked at me disappointed "he's small" he commented.

"A babies are small" I told him, "he's going to be short like you" he said and I looked at him concerned.

"Well we don't know that yet, he might be a giant who knows-" Ouma cut me off when he grabbed me by the arms with a look of anger in his eyes.

"Someome came up to me at school and asked me about you" he told me, "about what?" I asked.

"They said I was abusing you, that you told them about how we work" he responded his fingers digging into my arm.

Immediately the man and the women came in my mind "I can explain" I told him and he laughed.

"Good deeds should be rewarded...and bad deeds should be punished for right?" He chuckled insanely as I finally saw the man who I had thought was my friend and maybe something more for the first time.

I saw the insane man inside.

And I was terrified.

"Looks like you need to be punished..." he whispered into my ear.

From the outside you could probably hear me screaming and Kokichi wailing.

-4 Years Later-

I grabbed another bottle as I drank it all down not even really caring if he came home.

F*ck this sh*t...I thought to myself as I watched Kokichi playing in the corner. At least he can somehow find amusement in this h*ll. I thought to myself as I glared down at the wedding ring.

I messed up so bad...why did I marry him? I thought to myself, I was so stupid back then...but...if I do anything he says he'll hurt Kokichi...I can't have that...I can't let him...

"Mommy!" Kokichi called as he ran up in a get up, he had on a hat to big for him and my jacket which he wore like a cape.

"I'm te r-ruwer of te world!" He said with a giggle and I laughed pinching his cheek a little.

"Sure you are my little man" I replied, how could someone so cheery come from this...?

I laughed to myself, I'm so glad I didn't end up like her...

"Go back and play Kokichi ok? When I'm done I'll take you to the park" I told him and he smiled.

"Really?" He asked and I nodded, "really" I told him and he grinned running around "bow pwesents!" He screamed and I laughed.

I then looked down at my phone and pondered, it's been five years since I've seen Mayumi and Mom...wonder if we can be civil...

I sighed and opened my phone and dialed a number I never thought I would.

"Hello?" A voice responded and I took a deel breath "hey...it's me...Kokoro" I greeted bracing myself for any impact.

"What" the voice replied and I sighed "it's you right Mayumi? It's me your sister Kokoro" I told her.

"Oh my gosh it's been years! You've been missing for years!" She screamed and I raised an eyebrow.

"Missing?" I asked her "I thought you were dead! Mom said you were dead! I can't believe it! Your like what 19? 20? What happened?" She asked.

"Well after Mother kicked me out for being pregnant" I started "YOU WERE PREGNANT?" She screamed.

"Yeah...I was...now I have a son, his names Kokichi...he's four..." I told her "wow...you were always the lucky one...huh?"

I paused "what do you mean?" I asked her and I heard a stiffled cry on the other end.

"I can't have kids...heh after you left I got married...we kept trying to have a kid but...I'm infertile...so me and my husband are working to make one" I raised an eyebrow.

"Make one? What do you mean?" I asked, "exactly what I said, we're going to call him Kiibo we're making a robot"

My jaw dropped. She's making...a robot kid...welp now I've heard everything.

"We need to meet up" she called and I nodded squirming uneasily "yeah...we do..." I laughed a bit.

-1Week Later-

I walked out of the car with Kokichi holding onto my hand as I looked around the town where my sister lived. I remember this place...this is where I had Kokichi...before...he made us leave...

I looked over to see Mayumi and she squealed running up to me "YOU'VE GOTTEN SO BIG!" She squealed and I laughed nervously.

"Well actually that's just your shoes...you actually haven't grown huh?" She commented and I felt defeated.

"Look what we managed to finish" she teased and from behind her I saw what appeared to be a boy around Kokichi's age.

No freaking way...

"Come on Kiibo meet your cousin Kokichi...he probably doesn't bite" Mayumi said pushing him towards Kokichi.

"Wow you a robot!...Dwo robots have d-" I quickly placed my hand over his mouth before he could finish.

"Kokichi your not allowed to ask that" I scolded him "go play with your cousin" I told him with a smile and I laughed as I saw Kokichi running up and grabbing Kiibo by the hand as they ran up to the playground.

"So...where's your husband...?" Mayumi asked and I paled, "probably at work...we need to get back before he does or he'll get angry..." I said sort of to myself.

"Seriously? Man sounds like a d*ck" she said giving me a once over, "huh...never thought you'd be the type to get married...must have been desperate" she said with a laugh.

I clenched my fist "it's actually not good...can I talk to you about something-" I started.

"LITTLE GRAPE BOY STOP POKING KIIBO!" Mayumi screamed before grunting "what did you want to talk about?" She asked.

"It's about my husband...I...I actually think your the only one I can talk about this to..." I told her.

"He...he doesn't treat us right, Kokichi and me, he actually-" I started but my sister groaned.

"UGH YOUR ALWAYS COMPLAINING!" She screamed in frustration "like with Mom! She actually paid attention to you but to me I was basically nothing! You got a man and are able to have kids! You were born smart and beautiful and everything anyone could want so why can't you stop COMPLAINING!" She screamed.

I paused and stared at her "are you serious?" I asked her and she looked at me "what?" She asked.

"You still don't know what that b*tch of a Mother did to me?" I asked her as I took off my jacket and rolled up my sleeves showing the scars on my arms and the cuts I had made.

"This is my so called perfect life, my husband beats me to the point of near death and if I try to tell the cops he threatens to KILL me and Kokichi, Mother was just like him and would always bring me down! YOU used to bully or ignore me so I felt so unloved that I thought that demon could give it to me! And you say I'm unfairly conplaining?!" I screamed.

She just stared at me as I sighed "look I'm sorry about-" I started apoligizing about the things in her life when she slapped me right across the face.

I stared at her in shock as she looked at me with no pity "your a brat you know? Then and now, COME ON KIIBO" Mayumi called and I just stared at her as she left and didn't say anything as we made it home and immediately cracked open a bottle.

F*ck it...I just kept crying as I prayed it would take the pain away...

I think I know what I did that night...when I wasn't even thinking clearly enough...I should have stopped myself...I should have just gone to the police about this...leave Kokichi there...and then...

Kill myself.

So then I could have at least had that empty conscious knowing I never hurt the one person who might have actually cared for me once upon a time.

-1 Year Later-

I felt a bad migrane as I tried to get up and noticed that he wad still not home. Where could he be...

I sighed and got up to get ready for work as I looked over at Ouma's room guilt building in my chest as I creaked the door open.

I looked over to him and his bandaged face. Last year I could confidently say that it wasn't me...but now...I don't know who did it.

I crouched down next to him "wake up Kokichi...you have a big day...first grade..." I told him quietly.

Kokichi groaned and paled when he saw me as I burried underneath a sob remembering how happy he used to be.

What did I do? What did I do to my child?

You did end up like me

Leave me alone, leave me alone...

Your a disgrace

I know that...

You should kill yourself

...

Can't believe I gave birth to a pathetic mistake like you

...

I got up and gave him breakfast and took him to school. Went to work. Picked him up. Made dinner. Drink. Repeat.

Wake up. Wake Kokichi up. Breakfast. School. Work. Pick him up. Make dinner. Drink. Repeat.

That was the cycle which I lived by as I felt my sanity slipping away as I kept seeing my Mother or hearing her voice screaming in my head...it terrified me.

I hadn't seen the demon in a week, did he leave? Am...I free?

I was washing the dinner plates one night when I heard the door open and I felt myself shaking with fear as I heard him walk behind me.

"Where were you-" I gasped and held my breath as I turned around to see him covered in blood.

"Your hurt! Sit down, I'll call an ambulance-" I started but he laughed "oh sorry, I forgot to clean up before I came home" he said with a chuckle as I stared at him confused.

"What do you mean...?" I asked and he grinned "let me just say...I am making a perfect world for our son to live in" he said and my eyes widened.

"You...no...you can't mean..?" And he nodded "it might be bloody...but villians deserve the fate they get, don't they?" He said chuckling and I gasped backing away from him.

"You killed someone" I said to myself and he nodded.

Snap.

"Get out" I said in a low voice. He looked at me confused "what do you mean?" He asked coldly.

I gritted my teeth "GET OUT! GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY CHILD YOU MURDERER!" I screamed.

"Who said that you can talk back to me?" He said coldly staring down at me as if I were prey.

"YOUR THE VILLIAN!" I screamed as he reached for my neck and began choking me, "I'M THE HERO! I WILL MAKE THINGS RIGHT BY ELIMINATING PEOPLE LIKE YOU FROM THIS WORLD!"

I tried prying his arms helplessly when I felt myself reach for one of the knives in the sink and sliced across his face as he let go screaming and I gasped for breath.

He then proceeded to run out as I staggered up. I...I won...I WON!

I DON'T HAVE TO OBEY HIM ANYMORE! HE CAN'T CONTROL ME! I'M NOT HELPLESS ANYMORE!

I laughed and quickly ran into Kokichi's room waking him.

"He's gone Kokichi! The demons gone!" I screamed celebrating but Kokichi looked at me in fear as I embraced him.

"Gwo away bwad lady!" He screamed and I looked at him confused, "bad lady...?" I asked "Kokichi, it's me your Mother" I told him and he began crying.

"Pwease don't hurt me" he cried and I looked at myself in the window. I was blood soaked and I looked insane as I let go of Kokichi.

He wasn't the demon...

I was.

I took a deep breath and spoke calmly to him "Kokichi...Dad isn't coming home...but the bad lady isn't going to come back" I promised him.

"You pwomise?" He asked and I nodded "I promise..."

-1 Week Later-

After all that happened I went to the police and finally confessed to all that happened to me and Kokichi for all those years. Of the abuse, and how he murdered someone.

They thanked me for my testament and I began seeking help for my alchohal addiction. I eventually found a good grouo but I feared how I would act in relapses and withdrawls in front of Kokichi.

So...I made one of the hardest decisions in my life. I opened the door and gently held Kokichi's hand. This was all I could do now.

I can't even hug him any more because of how scared he was. It hurt but I knew I deserved it.

"Mayumi" I greeted as she opened the door and I handed her and her husband Kokichi's luggage.

"Thank you" I told her and she just nodded as she grabbed onto Kokichi's hand.

"Say goodbye to your Mom Kokichi" she said cheerfully and he casted looks between us "Mom? Where you going?" He asked and I felt myself struggling not to cry "I have to go away for a bit so the bad lady doesn't come back..." I told him.

"But.." he started and I looked at him with tears in my eyes "be a good boy, ok? Be a good boy for Aunt Mayumi...I'll come back soon" I eassured him.

"You pwomise?" He asked sniffling and I nodded "yup I promise"

I then stood up and fought the urge to turn back and hug him and never let go as I heard him crying and Mayumi ushering him inside.

I need to work hard...so that I can be the Mom he needs...

I would eventually come back for him in a year and we would live in Kyoto for another year before I put him in the same school as Kiibo in third grade.

I would never hit him or drink for years.

He still never would let me hug him. He ended up acting like how I did...and I couldn't stop him.

Eventually he would get hurt.

I blame myself.
And I broke my promise to him.
Because the bad lady came back.
That bad lady would sometimes hurt him.
That bad lady would always regret those things.
And the bad lady deserves no real pity.

-Present Day-

I woke up to feel someone holding my hand as I stared in shock to see Kokichi there.

"Kokichi?" I asked and he looked at me 'you lied to me' he signed and I sighed.

"I'm sorry buddy...guess three jobs was a bad idea...I'm sorry..." I apologized.

'You actually lied about a lot of things' he stated and I wiped my eyes "yup...that I did..." I told him.

'Why?' He asked and I looked down "you matter to me more than anything in the world..." I started.

"More than anything else...so I worked hard to make sure you had a good life...I worked hard to make sure you weren't like me..." I chuckled a bit.

"But I ended up only hurting you...I ruined what I tried to protect...and I hurt you..." I said quietly.

"So this time...I'll protect you from me" I told him and he for once displayed shock.

"Your Aunt is getting guardianship over you...I decided this when I hurt you again a few weeks ago...when I realized how much I have failed as a Mother..." I told him.

"Don't worry you'll still get that money I had saved for your future...I'll just take myself out...and this time I'm not coming back" I looked at him with tears in my eyes.

"You don't need me, you never needed me..." I whispered "but can I make just one more selfish request?" I asked him and he nodded.

"Don't end up like me, don't end up like your Father...I know this world hurt you in so many ways...and it's scary and unimaginably dark...but you don't have to be apart of that darkness...live your life Kokichi...live your life...and if you need to forget about me to live that life...so be it...just live it" I told him.

"Heh...look...I told myself I wouldn't cry...and I'm a water show" I sobbed when I felt something I hadn't in years.

Kokichi hugging me. My eyes widened in shock as I wrapped my arms arouns him and didn't even keep in my tears as I bawled my eyes out.

-/-/-

A nurse later took Kokichi away and I knew this would be the last time I ever saw him.

I'm...glad. I thought to myself as I opened up the pill lid.

I'm vile.
I ruin this world.
And vile things don't deserve to live.
Bottoms up.

Goodbye,
Kokichi.