Khun's Pov.

Ok, so I was all excited to go see Bam's friends and go to the mall, which makes me seem like a forsaken loser, which I am not.

But, that's beside the point.

I am not excited anymore.

Not at all. Whatsoever.

I don't want to go to school today. I don't want to people today.

What's even the appeal of friends? Of the mall?

Literally nothing. It's useless. All of it.

I might as well stay home today. Would he... Would he try and find me though?

My hairbrush ceased as I brushed through my maya locks.

Bam lived next door to me. He wouldn't come to find me. He isn't that stubborn.

... I don't think?

Would he text me?

No. No, no, no. He isn't that stubborn. He especially isn't stubborn enough to text me if I don't go to school in hopes of me still going to the mall afterwards. He doesn't want to be my friend that bad. Not at all. He's just being nice.

Would... Father even let me skip?

Shit.

I don't want to be home alone with him all day. I'm not willing to sacrifice my movement and functioning body simply because I would be meeting new people. More specifically, possible friends.

It isn't even certain if they are to even be deemed possible friends.

...Why would I even debate skipping in the first place? I don't want to be with father all day.

I wouldn't actually skip.

.... Would I?

Nope. I'm not a loser. Not at all. Yeah, fuck that. I'm not a loser, I'm going to school.

... mmmm. Ugh.

My hands lugged down my face. I stared at my face. Exasperated cobalt eyes stared back at me.

Maybe am I a loser. Just a little. People aren't.. Well, I was going to say scary but that's debatable.

Fumbling with my phone, I tapped on Bam's contact. A pictureless icon stared back, 'Bam' printed underneath it.

So stupid. I reached for my bandana, slipping my hair into a small bun.

He's stupid. My backpack slipped across my shoulders.

The whole thing is stupid. My fingers nimbly worked at my shoelaces.

I think the whole idea of friends is stupid. My hand grasped at my phone, threatening the whole thing to shatter.

How stupid. All of it. Yet, here I am. Getting ready. Going to see them. My heart, even a little happy. I sighed, exasperated with myself.

How stupid I am.

My silent steps carried me down the stairs. I should go back to bed.

My hand closed the front door as quickly and quietly as I opened it. My bed is definitely a lot more comfortable.

My sloppy steps made me reach the end of my driveway, to have amber irises staring at me with glee. How stupidly kind his smile is. The fact it reaches his eyes so evidently.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

How... charming.

Or stupid.

Most definetly stupid.

...

I hate the world. All of it.

My head pounded at the slightest footstep. The typing of keys on a keyboard. The quietest chewing. (Even if I couldn't hear it, if I knew someone was chewing, it was the most atrocious thing to be happening. (Even if it wasn't in reality, to any other person.) Still, it was annoying.)

I wanted to nail my head into something. Maybe a wall. Maybe I could get hit by a car. By a meteor. By a spaceship. A dinosaur. A hammer. A bullet. A nuke.

And truly, as convenient as they all are, my desk was the closest. And if I were being honest, none of the other things truly deserve my time. So I did what I wanted. And nailed my head into my desk.

Bam and Shibisu looked concern, not Mr. Hansung, or should I say Mr. I-only-love-coffee-and-don't-know-why-pursued-this-type-of-job-especially-when-I-dispise-childern-and-i-totally-have-a-piss-kink-and-would-get-on-my-knees-to have-Mrs.Evankhell-to-piss-in-my-mouth. And that's me being, well nice.

But that's besides the point.

Shortly and simply, Mr. Hansung didn't care whatsoever and Bam and Shibisu did.

And while I didn't normally slam my heads on desks, they wouldn't know as they aren't my friends and people have bad days. I'm most definitely sure every student or ex-student has wanted to or actually slammed their head into a desk. So in truth, they had no right to be concerned.

"Khun?"

Of course.

"Yes Bam?"

"Does your head hurt?"

"... A little bit. Why are you concerned?"

"Well, I'm not too sure. You did just slam your head into your desk."

I peered upwards, ready to snap back at his supposedly mocking comment only to find Bam deep in thought. In actual thought. He just- he wasn't mocking me. I'm going to kill him.

My head fell back down to the desk, this time finding a comfy spot in the place of my folded arms.

"I'm fine. Nothing to worry about." We aren't even friends. There's no reason to worry.

"Are you sure? I can take you to the nurse if it really hurts like you said."

I take that back. He's totally mocking me at this point. He's just a good actor.

"I'm most definitely sure I am perfectly ok." I sighed, murmuring, " I'm not the first student to try it."

"Mmm.. well, if you're sure."

Silence overcame the three of us, whether it was awkward or comfortable, I was too tired to care.

MInutes passed, and the period was almost over. Keyword, almost.

Of course, Bam, the lovely Bam couldn't pass up any opportunity, now could he?

"Are you anxious to meet my friends?"

I couldn't but stiffen at his words, even if I did except that very question at one point during the day.

I just... I didn't expect it this early.

And of course, Shibisu could never keep his mouth shut either.

"Oh! Wait, your anxious man? Aw, if I knew that I would try and force you to meet everyone. He's so precious." I glared at him only to see tears forming in his eyes. "How sweet you are. Are you scared to make bad first impressions?"

"Oh ho ho!" I kept my mouth shut, my jaw clenching. I totally wasn't going to punch him.

More tears rolled down his plump cheeks that were sprinkled in freckles.

"Don't you worry your little heart, my starfish cupcake. I'll make sure to hold your hand when we meet them!" A devious smile adorned his face. And I could feel my glare harden.

"Only if you want me to snap your neck in half."

Oh. I didn't expect that to tumble out of my mouth.

Ok, that was a bit harsh.

Only a little though.

But it didn't seem to bug him as he shot right back, "With your bare hands?"

"Mmm.. yeah. Do you want to try it out?"

"I mean, I'm not opposed. I would prefer you choke me..."

"Daddy~"

And that was it. You can't blame me for my next actions. I had already dealt with him in every homeroom for over a week. Maybe even two at this point. I got to know him well enough to the point where my next actions were dignified.

It wasn't my fault when Bam had to grab my wrists before I throttled his neck. And you surely wasn't my fault when one of my hands reached his neck and definitely wasn't when I tightened my grip as he said "harder."

He was laughing though. It must have been so funny to him. Yeah, he really had me laughing. Ha. Ha.

Even as we both sat down after Bam had broken us up, I couldn't help but glare at him. I would like to think he was actually scared as he stiffened after I didn't let up my gaze after two minutes. He was lucky the bell had rung and I had classes to get to.

I stood up, tugging my bag along with me, but I made sure to throw one last glare at him before leaving. Just for good measure. He should know where I stand after today.

And as always, I went through my classes.

I got through Ms. Evankhell's class fairly nicely, well as nicely as you can really get with her. But I am alive, so that's something. That is pretty amazing considering it's her and she has the personality and demeanor of a military sergeant.

Yeah, she would've been better off as a P.E teacher. A math teacher, yeah I have no clue why she chose that profession. She may be smart but just everything about her screams P.E teacher. Especially when compared to a math teacher.

English was.. good-ish. You can't really go wrong with English even if you specialize and lean more towards math and numbers. It's the same thing over and over again. An essay here, another one, fixing up your grammar, and oh, another essay; it's just the basics honestly.

And social studies was good. Mr. Ro is pretty chill which is nice, very analytical though, he keeps me on my toes. And while civics is pretty annoying at times, we're still focusing on a project and Bam is in my group, so it's pretty nice. Not a lot of people, just the two of us and our sole focus is a simple project so, yeah. It's virtuous for the time being.

Even AP Computer Science, Personal Finance and French were good. And that's.. Weird in a way. It's very rare that I get a decent day. Maybe it was to make up for after school. Maybe it was to make up for my drowsiness. Because even if it was a decent day, it didn't leave me any less tired.

And of course, after a decent day, I had lunch. And lunch meant friends. And friends meant the mall. And the mall meant more people and people meant draining. And I didn't have any energy in the first place so you can kind of see the point I'm trying to make.

I don't feel like going.

But, not that, that was a surprise.

My feet, as slowly as possible, carried me down the hallways. And I stood right in front of the music room to see Bam swinging his bento box lightly as he made eye contact with me. His cheeks had raised, wrinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes and the corners of his mouth moved up at a diagonal, widening his mouth. It was about the biggest smile I had ever seen. He looked just so genuinely happy. And it made me want to throw up.

"Are you ready to get going... daddy?"

I choked on my spit, a darkening blush crawling at my neck. He did not just say that.

"No."

A giggle erupted from his throat as he folded over. He opened his mouth to speak but his wheezes got in the way as he lowered himself into a crouching position. His shaking physique looked so small as tears gathered in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, oh my god, it was so funny early I couldN'T-" he stopped, wheezes filled all of his words. Nevertheless, he tried again. "I'm glad I was able to break yOU-" His knees hit the ground, his palms pressed to the tiled floor. "I'm glaD-"

His head made contact with the mortar.

"Oh my god, your face was so good."

I could feel my eyes roll as if it was an instinct.

"If you say one more thing, I'm killing Shibisu and never talking to any of your friends ever again."

That shut him up fairly quickly. Snickers still danced across his ample lips, but his mocking words seized. It was good enough, for now anyway.

He shot me a quick, devastating (not that he would know) smile as he went to sit up on the floor. I couldn't help the confused and probably by the looks of it a disgusted expression that adorned my face.

"So, are we seeing your friends or am I leaving you curled up on the floor alone and eating lunch in the music room?"

And by the looks of it, those words snapped him into reality. As if he totally forgot I was meeting his friends today. It's not like I have been going through fazes of excitement and anxiety since last night because of this... meeting should we call it. But seriously? Something that seemed so insignificant to him almost had me puking. Wow, look at me go. As you can most definitely tell, I'm very extroverted and have a ton of friends.

Meeting new people, psh, practically second nature.

A scoff passed my lips as I resisted the urge to drag my hands down my face. My social life was really catching up with me.

As my mind raced, I barely noticed Bam standing. I probably wouldn't have if he didn't grab my wrist.

And of course, I was already on high alert, so someone, who was unknown at the time, grabbing me almost made me lose my cool. I could feel my pupils dilate and my arm tear itself away from his grasp as soon as it happened.

It happened so quickly, I doubt Bam had time to take in my expression. Thankfully. I would be to nervous to have that conversation. Especially with, well, a remote stranger.

I may have learned many things about him over each lunch, each time in class when we worked together, but not enough to call him a friend. Just, not enough.

I turned my head away quickly, not daring to let my eyes met his. Not yet. Not until there was a distraction.

"Let's get out of here, yeah?"

I couldn't see his face, but I could feel his eyes glaring into the back of my head. It wasn't callous, his glaring. There didn't seem to be a single cruel intent. Just interest. Maybe even a douse of concern. But I'm not going to assume.

My ragged steps dragged me down the halls as Bam followed in suit.

No one should ever be perturbed by me. That was something I made sure of. Or at least tried. It was a bit hard with someone with the personality of a golden retriever. And on top of that, he was insanely stubborn.

I puffed out air, I just have to focus on meeting his friends. It'll be ok- well, that was a stretch.

It'll... It'll be something.

|Mm.. I'm an awful person. I'm so sorry that I hadn't posted in forever. School had hit me like a truck this year and I was unable to post like I used to. But it is summer now, so I will try to get back into my old groove. I can't promise anything now, but I will try. I also have two other khunbam books in the process, so get excited about that. :)

Thank you so so so much for all of the people who have still decided to stay with this book despite my inconsistent posting.

Also! Please point out any errors in my writing in the comments.

Thank you againnnn~<3|