"-and then he kissed me!" i finish the story as i sit up on tom's bed, feeling exasperated. it's the day after the incident and i'd gone straight to tom's house.

he looks at me with wide eyes from the place at his desk. "oh..."

"i know!" i sigh. "i don't like him. well, not like that. i didn't kiss him back and he ran away."

a couple different emotions flash across tom's face and he looks down at his coloring book again. he picks up a blue colored pencil and continues. "i haven't kissed someone before." he murmurs in the softest, most innocent voice. my heart palpitates.

i wipe the sweat on my palms onto my jeans and gaze at the back of his head. "that- uh- oh."

"how is it like?" he asks.

"it's, um... it's nice, if it's with someone you like." i don't really know how to respond.

tom puts his colored pencil down again and turns to look at me. "i like you." he smiles. i suddenly feel very hot wearing a hoodie.

"i..." my mouth feels dry. "i meant, someone you have a crush on."

at this, he doesn't respond. i can't help but feel a tiny bit disappointed when he turns away.

"..people usually kiss on dates," i continue. "most of the time, anyway. like, getting ice cream, or going to see a movie."

he throws a glance over his shoulder at me. "want to get ice cream?"

i gulp and roll up my sleeves as i feel myself begin to sweat nervously. "s- sure. now?"

he stands up and smiles. "yes." he puts on a light blue knitted sweater over the nasa t-shirt he's wearing.

i stand up and we start to walk outside, heading to an ice cream shop near my neighborhood. it slips my mind that my friends could be lurking anywhere.

-timeskip-

i walk out of the ice cream shop with tom, sipping a jamoca milkshake while he enjoys a strawberry cup.

"where do you wanna sit?" i ask.

"alone." he replies.

i flush, realizing where he wants this to go. "okay, i have a good spot. follow me." i duck into an alleyway and sit down on a wooden crate. he sits on another one beside me.

"thank you." tom murmurs after having a spoonful of ice cream.

"of course." i smile at him, but he's too focused on enjoying the treat.

minutes pass as we enjoy each other's company in silence, the only sound being the people passing by the alley and the cars speeding by.

i suddenly notice a pebble skipping on the ground before landing in front of my shoes with a small clatter.

confused, i look up and freeze. yanov and paul stand a few feet away, their arms crossed.

"so, are the two fags on a date?" paul wrinkles his nose in disgust.

i put down my milkshake and stand up, fear pulsing through me. i feel tom's scared gaze boring into my back. "we're just hanging out." i answer defiantly.

"yeah fucking right." yanov spits at my feet and kicks my milkshake over. it pools on the ground and some of it runs down the cracks in the concrete. well, there goes five bucks. "we don't like faggots."

"leave us alone." i raise my voice and clench my fists.

"yuu told us everything."

my blood runs cold. i stare at him and feel everything in my chest sink to my stomach. a heavy stone sits in my gut and i wish i could run away with tom but they'd sure as hell catch us. "told you what..?" i play dumb.

"you're a fag, tord!" paul snaps. tom grabs my arm and whispers my name.

my gaze flicks between the two of them. "it's-"

"i bet you want a dick up your ass, don't you?" yanov sneers and shoves me. i stumble back before moving to stand in front of tom protectively. they know he's my weakness.

"tom, run." i mutter. i don't care that my voice quivers because at this point, my entire body is shaky. chances are they'll let him go and stay for me.

"protecting your faggot boyfriend?" paul laughs obnoxiously; i want to rip those eyebrows right off his smug face.

"he's not-"

i can't finish my sentence because yanov throws a punch at my face and clocks me in the jaw.

the first thing in my mind: tom.

"run, tom!" i yell but he's frozen in place, hands over his ears. i grab yanov's hair and struggle to shove him to the floor. his hands try to seize me but i knee him in the stomach. in the corner of my eye i see paul lunge at tom. swiftly, i whirl around and grab the back of paul's hoodie; he chokes and i ram my knee as hard as i can into his back.

"tord!" tom's scream is barely an echo in my ears as i feel a knife dig deep into my thigh; paul's pocketknife.

yanov is throwing punches at me while paul digs the blade deeper. dark red spots invade my vision. i blink hard to get them away and kick paul before ripping the knife out of me and throwing it further from us. the pain is an unbearable heat and my attempted punches at yanov grow weaker.

"tom, r- run!" i look at him desperately until i'm shoved to the ground by someone. i don't know which one of the two it is because my face is being slammed against the cement repeatedly. someone is kicking me hard in the side. it hurts.. please stop-

"holy fuck!" there's a different voice, familiar and comforting. "get off of him! get the hell away from here you shits!" it's fuzzy. now that i think about it, everything feels fuzzy.

i'm tired.

the darkness swallows me whole.