i enter my apartment at around 9:20 pm. i'd spent the day at tom's house after admitting i was gay. after that, he lent me a couple books to borrow and we watched movies.

the two books are tucked under my arm as i lock the door behind me. i tiredly trudge into my room and see pat sitting on his bed, papers scattered around him and his laptop open.

"you're home early." he looks up at me.

"i know." i place the books on my night table and stretch my arms.

"yeah? i'm surprised you hung out with your friends after what happened."

"no, i..." i hesitate. "i was with tom."

"oh," pat smiles knowingly. "did he give you those books?"

i start changing into my pajamas. "mhm."

"that's sweet of him. uh, edd and paul came by a couple hours after i got home." he continues.

i stiffen and look at him, not even having pulled my shirt down all the way. "what?"

"they asked where you were and i told them you went to the arcade."

"...yikes." i sit on my bed and sigh. "i want nothing to do with them. now that i know i'm-" i shut my mouth and glare at the ground. "y'know. i don't want them to know. tom's all i need."

pat shrugs. "it'll be tough to avoid them." he picks up one of the books and his eyes light up. "shakespeare!? i love shakespeare!"

i laugh and move to lay down. "nerd. i might not even read those."

"no, really! these books are so amazing!" he picks up the other one and his smile grows. "your boyfriend is great."

i feel my face turn bright red. "dude- he's not my boyfriend." i look at him in embarrassment.

his gaze flicks up to me in confusion. then, a smirk settles on his lips. "riiight." he puts the books back down and gets back to his homework.

"whatever, i'm going to sleep." i face the wall and pull the covers over my head to block out the light. "night."

~timeskip~

the next morning i wake up to the sound of pounding on the front door. confused, i get up and stumble out of bed. pat's not in bed; probably at school. mom's most likely at work. i rub my eyes while walking towards the front door.

"yeah?" i say as i open it. i freeze up once realizing it's yanov and yuu.

"where've you been, man?" yanov punches my arm.

"it hasn't been that long." i mutter and cross my arms.

"well, you haven't been hanging with us," he glares at me. "ever since you almost got yourself killed."

"maybe if you guys weren't such-"

"maybe if you would stop being such a loser faggot." he spits. the insult feels like a slap across the face. it used to not bother me much, but now, seeing as i am a so-called 'fag', it hits closer to home.

"hey-" yuu places a hand on yanov to get him to
calm down, but he's brushed off. one of the rare occurrences he speaks.

"i just need time alone." i respond, trying to keep myself calm.

"how much time do you need?" yanov scoffs. "quit acting like a bitch. ell misses you. did scaring off your freak friend affect you that bad?"

my eye twitches and my gaze hardens to a glare. "say that again." i growl, taking a step forward and grabbing yanov by the collar.

he frowns and shoves me off of him. "whatever, man." he turns away. "let's go, yuu."

"but-"

"let's go."

to both of our surprise, yuu stands still and looks at yanov with fearful determination in his eyes. his bottom lip trembles before he says, "no."

yanov cocks an eyebrow and takes a step toward the shorter male. "'scuse me?" he scoffs. i watch in shock; yuu has never spoken up to anyone before, much less yanov of all people.

"i- i need to talk to tord." he says.

yanov's gaze flicks between the both of us. "fine." he scowls, turns, and storms off.

i watch him go until he disappears into the stairwell. "are you okay...?" i ask yuu. he retreats into his quiet, shy state again and shakes his head. "come inside. what do you want to talk about?" yuu walks inside and i shut the door. he shuffles to the couch and sits down.

"stuff." he murmurs.

"you're gonna need to be more specific." i sit down next to him.

yuu takes a deep breath, his gaze fixed on his lap. "are you gay?" he asks.

my heart seems to stop. i stare at him and clench my jaw. do i tell him? he's always been the nicest out of the group. but at the same time, who knows?

"why.." my voice is shaky. "why do you say that?"

he frowns as his face turns light pink. "because. one day, yanov a- and paul sent me to get you..." his voice is quiet. "um, and, uh- i heard you yell at pat."

i instantly know what he's talking about. "that was just-" i begin.

"i- i know you're gay, tord." yuu shivers. he looks scared. i stay silent this time and think about what to say.

"so what if i am?" i suddenly blurt out. "what are you gonna do, tell yanov?" i dig my nails into my palms and glare at him. "tell the entire neighborhood 'tord's a fag'? i don't care, yuu."

"i would never," he shakes his head. "i wouldn't ever, b- because... 'cause i'm gay, too. actually- i'm bisexual."

my eyes widen and i'm... confused. seriously? he's been hiding it for that long? honestly, i'm happy to know i'm not the only one who likes guys. "..really?" i say stupidly.

he flushes and smiles. "yeah."

"oh. that's comforting." i smile. he nods quietly and looks at his lap.

we sit in silence and think about what we've just revealed to each other, my heart racing with adrenaline. i want to tell tom; i want to tell him about how i feel more accepted. most importantly, though, i want to tell him that i'm totally in fucking love with him. my face flushes at the thought.

all of a sudden, yuu leans forward and smashes his lips onto mine. i wasn't even prepared. actually- i didn't expect this at all.

with wide eyes, i instantly pull away and use the back of my hand to wipe my lips. embarrassment creeps onto yuu's face.

"i'm-" he begins.

"i- i didn't mean to give you the wrong idea." i stammer awkwardly. "sorry. uh.. i like tom..." my face reddens even more, i can feel it.

he stares at me for a couple seconds before standing up and running out of the door as quick as possible. it slams behind him and i'm left sitting there, confused.