The chapter is dedicated to Complicated_Girl15. She is an amazing writer and as of yet she's producing this intriguing piece of art named, Clandestine. So please go ahead and give it a read, rest assured you'll fall in love with it immediately. ^_^
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Voicemail of 20th February' 2015

02:10 p.m.

"Emma, hey,"

There was urgency in his voice this time; but it was a happy kind of urgency. Like when after a long and dreary winter, the sun finally peeks through the clouds and one rushes out to catch that long awaited glimpse of sunshine.

For the first time in the past few hours, the lightest shade of a smile had crept up my face.

"God I've missed you. I mean I still miss you, but I listened to your message before the voicemail. So yeah..."

He chuckled.

"I'm sorry for not calling sooner but I had been busy, you see. They finally released me from that sodding hell hole – or hospital as some fools may call it – a few days ago. After that I had been roaming around, trying to gather information, and guess what? Actually no, guess where I am right now?"

He waited then, probably again having forgotten that he was actually on recording. I chuckled at his foolishness that I couldn't help but find absolutely adorable.

Peculiarly enough, I could actually imagine a slight tinge of red on his cheeks as those cerulean blue eyes must have gone wide with realisation a second or two later.

How I was able to imagine all this since my brain claimed to hold no memories of him, I had no idea of.

Finally after a few seconds his voice came across again and broke me free from my paralysing train of thoughts.

"Oh right... I'm leaving a message. My bad,

"Anyways, I'll just tell you where I am myself then. So, dear love of mine, I'm standing in front of your parents' house."

The phone almost fell from my hand in shock.

No. Please, please no.

The slight traces of a smile which had managed to gloss my features had now retreated, leaving me looking like a complete and utter mess again.

God, please no. Please. Not this. No...

"A lot has changed in London after four years, Ems. It took me some time to get a hold of my surroundings. And after a number of misadventures, I finally came to my senses. All the places I could've gone to help for but your parents' never crossed my mind!

"I know I'm stupid, please don't remind me whenever you hear this.

"Anyways, that's the tale of how I'm standing right in front of their door, just about to ring the bell. Gosh, Ems, I'm nervous!"

He chuckled again. I couldn't even get myself to smile.

"It feels like I'm here to meet your parents for the first time! I mean, love, I don't think I was this nervous the day I proposed you!

"Okay so slight exaggeration there, I almost wet my pants that day, but you get the drift.

"I can't help but fantasise that I'll go inside and you'll be there waiting for me with that beautiful smile on your face that I love so, so much. I'll finally get to hold you in my arms again, Ems."

He sighed into the phone's speaker.

"So, I think I should stop procrastinating and actually ring the bell now."

The faint sound of the door bell came across the speaker.

"Here goes everything,

"I love you. See you soon, Ems."

As soon as the voicemail ended, I threw the phone away; and after a few rebounds, it landed on my bed with a soft thump.

Groaning, I palmed my face and let out a silent scream.

My parents had died in the mid of January in 2014, about a year before Mathew had even woken up. Yet there he must have been, standing outside their black-coloured door with a smile on his face and hope in his heart.

For the umpteenth time that day, I felt tears rolling down my now permanently flushed cheeks. However, the reason behind the ache in my chest was not the reminder of parents' death, no. I couldn't even bring myself to feel sad because of them anymore. All I felt for my parents now was a hurtful kind of numbness, the kind that just leaves a gaping hole in your body.

The reason behind the continuous tug at my heart-strings, the stream of tears down my face, the quivering of my lip and the inability of my lungs to breathe, was Mathew.

It was the thought of his face when his smile must have gotten replaced with confusion and then hurt and then remorse. It was the idea of what he must have felt when he would've realised that now he had lost his one clear chance of finding his wife.

It was the imagined sight of him crying that had me weeping then.

*----------*

After what felt like hours, but in actuality was only a few minutes, I had gathered the courage to pick up the phone again. I found the voicemail where I had stopped listening and scrolled down to the next one. It was dated for the evening of the very same day as that of the last voicemail.

I breathed in deeply for I had a faint idea of what the next message would consist of. With shaking fingers, I pressed play and held the phone tightly against my ear.

Voicemail of 20th February' 2015

06:38 p.m.

"Emma,"

He heavily breathed into the phone.

From the clear sound of rushed breaths and sniffles, it was easy to tell that he was pressing the phone against his face and was holding onto it for dear life.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know. I was...

"I...If you're listening to these then you already knew that they were dead and here I was, rambling on about how great it would be to see them. To see you,"

He cursed into the phone. Multiple times.

I sighed deeply: No, I'm sorry.

"I don't think sorry will even cover up for this one."

A few seconds passed in silence, his rugged breathing the only thing filling it up. I felt my own heartbeat pick up pace as I heard his strangled one.

Finally then he spoke again in a quiet voice.

"I'm here you know; in the graveyard, staring down at their headstones."

That's when he said it. He said the one thing that simultaneously broke my world apart even further and crashed my reality into a deformed mush.

"Emma, I've lost my parents once again today, and God it hurts."

His breathing became even more ragged and painful to listen to than before. I knew that all of this had happened over a year ago, but I couldn't help myself but yearn to have been there with him in that moment; been there for him.

"I mean it didn't hurt so much the first time around. All little ol' me cared for was why his mum wasn't there to feed him and his dad to tickle him. But now?"

He let out a strangled, shaky breath.

"I c...can't even breathe.

"Worst of all is that I didn't even get to say goodbye, Ems! I...I'll never get to smack talk with your dad about football again. I'll never get to eat your mum's delicious cookies again..."

By now I couldn't tell if the muffled sobs I could hear were coming from me or from the phone.

"I mean, who will I fight with during matches of Chelsea and Man U now? Who will beat off my hand with that notorious spatula when I try to get fourth helpings of dinner and desert?! Who will I look up to when I don't know what's going on in my life and I just need a break because I can't handle all the pressure and it's too much and this is too much..."

He completely broke down crying as muffled curses, sobs and yells filled the speaker.

However, I couldn't make them out anymore because I was a whimpering, weeping mess of my own.

The phone was still pressed tightly against my ear as the both of us cried to our heart's content. Our tears in sync, we mourned for different tragedies across a thin veil of lost time and broken heart-strings. 
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Lyrics of song "Afire love" by Ed Sheeran:

Things were all good yesterday
And then the devil took your memory
And if you fell to your death today
I hope that heaven is your resting place
I heard the doctors put your chest in pain
But then that could have been the medicine
And now you're lying in the bed again
Either way I'll cry with the rest of them

My father told me, son
It's not his fault he doesn't know your face
You're not the only one
Although my grandma used to say
He used to sing

Darlin' hold me in your arms
The way you did last night
And we'll die inside
For a little while here oh

I could look into your eyes
Until the sun comes up
And we're wrapped in light and life and love
Put your open lips on mine
And slowly let them shut
For they're designed to be together oh
With your body next to mine
Our hearts will beat as one
And we set alight
We're afire love

Love, love

Things were all good yesterday
Then the devil took your breath away
Now we're left here in the pain
Black suit black tie standing in the rain
And now my family is one again
Stapled together with the strangers and a friend
Came to my mind I should paint it with a pen
Six years old I remember when

My father told me, son
It's not his fault he doesn't know your face
You're not the only one
Although my grandma used to say
He used to sing

Darlin' hold me in your arms
The way you did last night
And we'll die inside
For a little while here oh

I could look into your eyes
Until the sun comes up
And we're wrapped in light and life and love
Put your open lips on mine
And slowly let them shut
For they're designed to be together oh
With your body next to mine
Our hearts will beat as one
And we're set alight
We're afire love

Love, love

See the love, the love, the love, the love [3x]

My father and all of my family
Rise from their seats to sing hallelujah
And my mother and all of my family
Rise from their seats to say hallelujah
And my brother and all of my family
Rise from their seats to sing hallelujah
(To my brother and my sister, yeah, ah)
My father and all of my family
Rise from their seats to sing
Hallelujah

To the love, the love, the love, the love [3x]
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So that was one EXHAUSTING chapter to write!!!  *wipes of sweat from forehead*
So please do comment and tell me what you think about it.

I really hope that this much drama will feed all yours' thirst until the next week. xD

Oh and I updated a little early for two reasons: Firstly the story had hit 151 votes and hence I was just really ecstatic and; secondly, it's eid in about two/three days' time and yaaaaayyyy!!

So early eid Mubarak to all my fellow Muslims out there! *high fives you all and offers vermicelli* ^_^

And thank you my amazing friends for reading my story! I may not stress this enough, but each and every single one of you means the world to me! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

P.S I'm not obsessed with Ed Sheeran! Okay maybe I am but that's not the reason for the majority of songs in this story belonging to him. The reason is that his songs just relate to the story a lot...
*hides behind sofa and screams* I'm not obsessed with him, my actions have a reason! I swear!

Share, vote and comment. xD

Toodles.
Much love,
-zainab