Guys I have a request for you all: please don't be silent readers. I tend to get very insecure about things at times and my writing tops off that list. So I can't help but wonder if people are actually liking this story.
So please guys, if you're reading it and liking it then pleeeeeaaasse vote or at the very least comment, so that I may know you exist. :(
Please guys. This message is to all of you out there...
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Voicemail of 28th July' 2015

05:28 a.m.

A soft tune started to play from the phone's speaker, the sweet melody wrapping me in like a cocoon - only the cocoon was made of sharp thorns and deathly intoxicating fumes.

I scoffed; he was ruining my birthday. After almost two bloody months he decides to finally think I'm worth leaving a message for and that too on my birthday?! I sneered in pure anger.

The music was an instrumental being played on a guitar; by him, I thought darkly. Soon words started to fill in the gaps between the slow rhythmic beats-

"You look so wonderful in this dress. I love your hair like that,

"The way it falls on the side of your neck, down your shoulders and back."

I felt wetness on my cheeks. Reaching a hand to touch my face, I found a stream of hot angry tears flowing from eyes.

"We are surrounded by all of these lies-"

I laughed in vengeful amusement. He had gotten that right; we were surrounded by a rather intricate web of lies. A web which he had contributed to quite extensively.

"-and people who talk too much,

"You've got the kind of gleam in your eyes like no one knows anything but us."

A few strokes of the guitar later, he broke out into the chorus; and I did everything possible to stop myself from all but breaking down with anger and frustration and pain.

I breathed in deeply, trying my best to keep a lid on my emotions.

"Should this be the last thing I see, I want you to know it's enough for me. 'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need.

"So in love... I'm so in love..."

It took him a little over a minute to complete the whole song.

I don't think I'll ever be listening to this song again - forget my love-turned-hatred for it. However, I wasn't quite sure if my unsettling feelings for the song were a result of my anger towards him or of the fact that no other voice singing these words would now ever replace his in my head.

"Happy birthday, Ems,

"I'm guessing that this accounts for the fifth birthday of yours that I've missed in a row, but I'm hoping my wish can somehow compensate for this year?"

Not even a little bit, I muttered to myself.

"The song was on behalf of my promise - to sing this to you every year on your birthday. I guess you loved this little tradition of ours for nostalgic reasons."

Regardless of the growing tension in me, I clutched the phone a little tighter in-between my numb fingers.

"After all I had been singing to this - your favourite song - the first time we had met. To-date I'm sure this song was one of the reasons you even took interest in me at the first glance."

A smile started to etch its way up my lips even though I was trying so hard to fight it off. I wasn't supposed to be smiling at things he said! No, he had hurt me and blamed me and crushed the broken remnants of my heart into oblivion in his last message! He didn't deserve my smiles and my blushes and the stupid butterflies in my stomach!

...

Then why was I still smiling?

"Oh how I had felt like a deer caught in headlights when I had opened my eyes to find you staring at me."

So our gaze-locking was a time-old tradition then? Scoffing, admittedly forcefully though, I reprimanded myself for wondering such foolish things.

"I coughed to clear the awkwardness a bit, though I'm quite sure I had worsened the situation when a blush started to creep up your neck. And to top it all off, I started heating up too!

"God, such an embarrassing fool I had made out of myself."

He chuckled lightly.

I frowned, still not being able to divert my mood nor thoughts. Had he really forgotten his last message? Forgotten his piercing words that he had oh-so-beautifully fired right through my heart?

"But all's well that ends well, right? And it had ended quite well for us."

Silence followed for about a minute; the lack of words creating an air of uncertainty around us that was half bits unsettling and half bits comfortable.

"I didn't mean the things from the last message, love. Not all of them.

"Now you might be all it to start calling me an obnoxious bugger, but please hear me out first?"

He sighed, giving me a moment to wonder if there really was anything he could say to bat away the rift he had caused in my heart. Sadly, I came up short.

"Reason I didn't contact you... or well left a voicemail on this phone is because I had been scrutinising and looking everything over, contemplating every decision that I've made so far. I was... you can say that I was trying to find reasons. I'm not quite sure reasons for what though - to stay or to leave.

"And now I've found it, Ems. I've found my reason."

I held onto my breath, gripping the phone with such force as if my whole life depended on his next words.

"It's you. It's my love for you. It might sound utterly daft and stupid to you but it really isn't. I love you, Ems, and frankly speaking that's all the reason I need to stay for as long as required."

I scoffed. His words had lost meaning to me, sadly. 'Love' had become a casualty from his long list of words and speeches which he used to either throw me down or lift me up. 'Love' had lost its meaning to me - such a tragedy this was.

"And that doesn't mean that I don't own up for all the horrible things I said in the last voicemail because, love, all those horrible things are the cruel reality of our lives and I have to accept them. We have to accept them."

He breathed in deeply.

"But what's more important is the acceptance of the fact that I love you. I've loved you for a long time and I'll fight for us as long as I continue to love you. I know that this isn't some war we're fighting against fate and I'm not even sure if I'm your hero in all of this chaos but what I do know is that you still are my only ray of sunshine. And I mean this quite literally, Ems.

"I understand this thoroughly that you do not know anything and I will not blame you for what's to become of me, of us-"

But you already have, and I already do - blame me that is.

"-and I also won't hold you accountable for your actions, with whomever and whatever they may be.

"As hurtful as it may be, I'm the one signing up for this and I have to start owning up to the consequences and casualties my decisions will cause."

He laughed a sad laugh; and it was very disturbing to know that his morose laughter still held the power to make me shed a tear or two.

"So, really it all comes down to the fact that I can't let go of you, love. I can't. You're stuck in my head like a jammed commentator, repeating and discussing the same shot over and over again. And the funny thing is that it's my favourite shot from the whole game, so I can't really get tired of watching it a couple million more times."

For some reason I found his vows really hard to believe. No matter how perfect the shot, nothing can survive emotion after being replayed a million times. Everything fades, it's only natural.

I scoffed once again, but this time it was at my own train of thoughts. 'It's only natural,' oh how nature had screwed me over.

"Good bye for now, Ems. I love you. And I'm sorry for all that's happened and all that's to come but... I just love you..."

The voicemail beeped to an end while a new wave of repulsion coursed through me, causing me to wonder for a split second if I had become bipolar or something.

Does he love me though? Really love me? Does he even know what love means?

I suddenly fell quiet, the anger subsiding for just a moment.

Do I know what love means?
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Lyrics of song "I was made for loving you" by Tori Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran:

[Tori Kelly:]
A dangerous plan, just this time
A stranger's hand clutched in mine
I'll take this chance, so call me blind
I've been waiting all my life
Please don't scar this young heart
Just take my hand

[Chorus - Tori Kelly:]
I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you

[Ed Sheeran:]
Hold me close through the night
Don't let me go, we'll be alright
Touch my soul and hold it tight
I've been waiting all my life
I won't scar your young heart
Just take my hand

[Chorus - Tori Kelly & Ed Sheeran:]
Cause I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you

[Bridge - Tori Kelly & Ed Sheeran:]
Please don't go, I've been waiting so long
Oh, you don't even know me at all
But I was made for loving you

[Chorus - Tori Kelly & Ed Sheeran:]
I was made for loving you
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you.
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So you guys can consider this the climax of the story if you may, though admittedly this climax is very much near the ending. xD

This chapter is dedicated to Whoisacatlover for supporting the story and for letting me know that she has been enjoying it. You go buddy! ❤❤❤

VOTE, SHARE AND COMMENT, my dearest lovelies.

Much love,

-zainab