I didn't go out to see Remus that night. I didn't talk to him, look at him or even think about him until I was 13. Except that last point was a lie. I avoided him for two years but I still spied on him through our fence and I still thought about him day and night. And every time I watched him and he was hanging out with another person in his back garden, I got insanely jealous. I know that I don't have a valid reason for hating anyone and everyone he hung out with but I couldn't help it. Most of them were so pretty and all of them were perfect. None of them were two-faced, home-schooled freaks like me. One day, I decided that, if he talked to me that day, I would talk back to him.

"Hiya Janus! Are you gonna talk to me today?" Remus asked, popping his head over the fence. I looked up at him and shrugged.

"What's up now?" He asked. I sighed and went back to reading. "Okay, let's play 20 questions! I'll ask you a question and you can either answer with an answer or, if it gets too personal, you can ask me a question back. Okay?"

"Fine." I muttered and I could practically hear his face light up. It made me smile slightly.

"Okay.... first question. Why do you hide your face?"

"Because it's different." I muttered, marking my book and closing it.

"Why do you think that you need to hide it if it's different?"

"Because... because I want to be normal."

"Why do you want to be normal?"

"So I can be accepted. Leave the house, make friends, not be bullied for what I look like, fall in love, not have to live the rest of my life cooped up in a Hell hole, do what normal people do."

"You know it's not that easy being normal." Remus said softly.

"Oh yeah? Well it's a lot easier than being a two-faced freak." I spat, standing up to go inside.

"Janus, wait." I turned around and looked at Remus. He bit his lip and looked down. "You-You aren't a freak. You're just as normal as the rest of us."

"Really?" I asked, laughing bitterly. "You really think I'm like you?"

"Well, you are."

I laughed again before walking up to the fence until I was a lot closer to Remus than I'd ever been before. Then, I tucked my hair behind my ear and showed Remus the left side of my face.

"Does this look normal to you, Remus?" I asked bitterly. "Do you think people like me can just walk around freely?" Remus didn't answer, staring at my face. I laughed bitterly again, ignoring the blush slowly rising up my face from being so close to Remus that I could kiss him if I wanted to. "Wake up, Winston. We don't live in a fairy-tale world where the bad guys get what they deserve and people like me are accepted. We live in the real world, where people who look like monsters are treated like them. And there is no point denying it."

Then, I stormed inside.

That wasn't the end of it, though. That night, I heard tapping against the sky-light. Then, I heard a snap and suddenly, there was light filtering through the boards across the sky-light. When I went to investigate, I found Remus. He was sitting on my roof and grinning into the sky-light.

"What the fuck are you doing up hear?" I whispered, inching out of the sky-light. "If my dad finds out you've been here, he'll kill you and then kill me!"

"And why should you be scared of your dad?" Remus asked. I looked at him as if he were insane.

"Why am I scared of my dad? Did you not hear what I just said?! He will fucking murder you! Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see you. What's up?" Remus asked, rocking on his heels.

"What do you mean 'what's up'?"

"I mean, what's up with your whole attitude? You don't talk to me for years and then the moment I talk to you, you flip out."

I sighed. "Do you really want to hear the truth about that?"

Remus nodded and I sighed again. "Fine. I get jealous. I see you messing about and hanging out with other people and I just feel.... bad. They're all so pretty and perfect and... it's just feels unfair. I'm a monster and just seeing you hang out with all these people... I can't go and meet other people and yet you're hanging out with all these perfect people when you're my only friend." I laughed a little. "Look, I know that it's silly and I'm wasting your time but-" I was cut off my Remus pulling me into a hug. I almost flipping stopped breathing. I've never been held with so much care and love before. I could feel my face heat up as I carefully hugged him back.

"You are not a monster, Janus. You are valued and you are unique." Remus said, holding me by my shoulders and looking straight into my eyes. "You're unique and you're going to do amazing things."

I smiled slightly at Remus. It's odd, dad used to say the same things to me but they sounded so different coming from Remus. I felt that I was more willing to believe them.

"It's nice to see you smile." Remus said, shivering slightly.

"Hey, you should get home. You're starting to shiver." I said, making Remus smile even more.

"Alright. I'll go." Remus stood up and walked over to the edge of the roof before turning back to me. "Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Sure."

Then, Remus sat on the edge of the roof and slid down, expertly leaning back against the wall and slipping his foot into a crack in his house's wall. He edged along the wall and swung into his bedroom. I laughed slightly before sliding back down into my bedroom.

***

A few days later, Remus came out to me as gay. I didn't know what that was, I had always had a very sheltered childhood. Remus explained that being gay was when you like someone of the same gender as you. I told him that I got it and I supported him.

I think I might be gay too.