Chapter Six:

(AN: Gay slurs in this. If you're triggered by that please read with caution!)

"You fucking faggot! Get back here!" I heard my dad scream at me.

I felt my hands shake with the fear that coursed through my body. He smashed the beer bottle that he had in his hand and came after me with it.

I let out a pathetic scream as I dashed away. I ran up the stairs as quickly as I could, hearing my dad begin to stumble up them. I took that as my chance to get away and I ran into my room and slammed the door.

I immediately locked it and leaned against it, just in case he managed to bust it down in his drunk state.

"Open the god damn door, you cock loving pansy!" My dad yelled at me. I covered my ears to try and attempt to block out the words but they still seeped through my hands.

"Pillow biting fuck!"

"Cocksucking fairy!"

"Ass fucking faggot!"

I tried so hard to ignore the constant jabs but it was quickly becoming too much. I opened my eyes and searched my room until I found my pocket knife sitting on my dresser.

When my dad stopped throwing himself against the door, I got up and grabbed my knife. I flicked it open and pulled up my sleeve, grimacing at the previous cuts on my wrists.

I pressed the knife down and slowly pulled it across my skin. Tears welled up in my eyes and I clenched my teeth as I watched the blood bubble out of the open wound.

I watched it as if in a trance. The blood slowly bubbling out of the wound, then pooling around the cut. I watched as the pool slowly got too full and a thick crimson drop of blood ran down the length of my arm at a surprising speed. The drop turned into a stream and eventually, the stream began to leak onto the floor.

Drip...

Drip...

Drip...

I blinked my eyes and quickly set my knife down, pressing the bloodstained towel against the cut. I looked down at my carpet, seeing the three drops of blood making an imperfect triangle on the fluffy fabric. I bent down, pressing the towel against the blood and soaking it up best I could. I wouldn't be able to actually clean it up until tomorrow without my parents coming after me.

When the cut finally stopped bleeding, I pulled my sleeve back down and stared out into the night. It was a clear sky, the moon only showing a sliver of itself. I opened my window and took a deep breath of the fresh crisp night air.

Perfect for a night walk.

I slipped on my shoes and pulled a beanie over my curly locks. I grabbed my pocket knife and placed it gently in my pocket before opening my window more and climbing down.

I slipped down the tree gracefully and began walking towards the street. I looked over at the Free's house, seeing a woman sitting in the living room with a young man looking very much like Gavin. I tried not to stare at them but eventually I found myself stopping.

Something I had never noticed about Gavin's family was how perfect it seemed. A beautiful mother who always kept the house looking perfect and always making sure her boys were in line. An older son who was probably in his late teens helping out the mother with yard work and having a well paying job. Then, the younger son, or Gavin, who was a straight A student in school and who was a handsome jock and heartthrob of every girl at school.

They seemed like the perfect family.

But there was something missing.

And that something was a father.

I had heard rumors about what had happened to Gavin's father. Some of them were a bit far fetched, like he was an international drug dealer. While others were a bit more believable, like he was killed in a car accident.

Whatever the case may be, Gavin never talked about him. If someone questioned him about it, he'd stay quiet and change the subject.

"Yo... What's up?" I heard someone say.

I instantly stopped staring at the Free's house and turned my attention to Gavin himself. I groaned and rolled my eyes, storming away.

"Leave me alone," I growled.

"You look like you need company. What are you doing anyway?" Gavin asked me.

"Nothing that concerns you," I growled at him.

"Someones a bit grumpy," Gavin mumbled, jogging to keep up with me.

"I'm not grumpy," I said through clenched teeth.

"Your tone begs to differ," Gavin giggled, flashing me a dazzling smile.

I rolled my eyes at him and stopped dead, watching him stumble a bit trying to stop with me. He turned to me and smiled some more.

Well, until I grabbed him.

I grabbed the collar of his shirt and brought him close to me. I sent him a deadly glare, looking straight into his eyes.

"Quit following me. I'm not your friend. I'm not your acquaintance. I'm not your anything," I growled at him before releasing him.

I continued to storm away, hoping I got my point across to him. I didn't want friends. Cause God knew once I got close to them, I'd scare them away.

You never deserved any friends.

"Why do you always push people away?" I heard Gavin ask me.

I was only about three or four yards from him. I slowly turned around and looked at him. He was standing where I left him, his shirt still slightly crumpled where I'd grabbed him. But, instead of his permanent happy and cheerful face, he now had a confused and sad look etched on his perfect features.

"Because eventually they'll push me away too," I told him.

"But how do you know that if you're not even willing to try?" Gavin asked me, stepping closer to me, almost cautiously.

"Why go through the pain and embarrassment if you can prevent it?" I countered.

"Nobody can grow up with no friends. Even if they think they have no friends, they do whether they see it or not," Gavin said. He was almost directly in front of me by now.

"I've gotten on just fine without friends. And it's how I intend to continue going," I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

"You're anything but fine, Mi-cool. You might not see it, but I do. And so does everyone at school. That's why everyone's too scared to even approach you. They're too terrified to even ask if you're okay," Gavin told me.

"Is that what they told you?" I asked him.

"Well... At least that's what I've heard from my friends. Um... More specifically Ryan and Geoff. And Jack and Ray," He told me.

"They're lying to you. Nobody cares about me. You heard what Arron said. He could care less if I were dead," I told him, beginning to walk away again.

The next thing I knew Gavin was grabbing my hand and pulling me back. He quickly wrapped his arms around me and held me, very awkwardly. I stood there, not knowing quite what to do. I hadn't been hugged since Brandon was still around.

But eventually, I melted into the feeling. Having someone's arms around you did feel nice, whether I wanted to admit it or not. It made you feel warm and more grounded, perhaps even stable.

It reminded me of times when I wasn't so depressed and terrified. When I didn't have this stupid voice in my head telling me to slit my wrists or hang myself. It was like I was that little boy again that ran to his older brother instead of his parents if he hurt himself riding his bike or got picked on at school.

But, as quickly as it started, it was over. And I was back to being the cold and unstable being that I had always been.

Gavin pulled his arms back and stepped back a bit, tensing himself up in case I lashed out at him. But I wasn't gonna do that. Not after he made me feel good for once.

"Don't do that," Was all I said.

Gavin smiled a little and shrugged. I turned around again and began walking down the street. I knew Gavin was still staring at me and I figured I had to throw him a bone just this once.

"If you're coming, you better keep up. I'm not running back to protect your ass if we get jumped," I called back at him.

I heard Gavin giggle slightly as he ran up to me and walked next to me, gazing around at the scenery.

And for perhaps the first time in a very long while, I felt at ease with myself and another person.
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Hey... It's only been like half a month since I updated. No biggie.
Actually it's a very big biggie. Oops.
I'm sorry for the slower updates. High school is way harder than I imagined it to be (and according to the teachers, the first five weeks were easy compared to what's going to happen).
Well, if you liked this chapter, please let me know. I love to read your comments.
Thanks for reading!