On the Sunday of Jess's fifteenth birthday, she trudged through new fallen snow on the way to the cabin.  In spite of the cold wind that found its way under her coat and through her knitted hat and mittens, she felt warm and happy inside as she looked forward to spending most of her birthday with Marty. 

She was even happier her uncle's Christmas party was over, having happened the previous night.  Even though she hadn't been looking forward to it, at least she knew what to expect.  Her plan had been to stick close to Doug so she wouldn't be alone, but she was soon bored to tears by the endless talk about business and politics.  She also had the distinct impression her presence wasn't entirely welcome by the older men.  There were a number of times when someone would stop abruptly just before finishing a joke and then look over at her, letting her know what they were about to say wasn't something they thought she should hear. 

Taking the first opportunity she could to refresh someone's drink, she'd excused herself, and then the rest of the night she'd helped Annie by making sure the food trays were full, everyone had drinks, and ashtrays were emptied.  She was also grateful she'd managed to steer clear of her uncle that evening.  His dark mood of the previous winter had returned and he'd been especially quick to anger over the last month.  She couldn't wait for the holidays to finish so he could back to being his usual prickly self.

Stomping snow off her boots, she entered the frigid cabin and began lighting the fires.  When she heard the front door open, she straightened from the cook stove, her heart filling with happiness seeing Marty shaking snow out of his golden brown hair while he grinned at her.

"Hi Marty!" she said, joining him in the living room.

"Happy birthday, kid," he said, his eyes twinkling mischievously as he slipped off his cloth coat.

"Thanks," she replied wryly, deciding not to rise to the bait.  "Should we eat lunch in front of the fire?"

"Sure."  

While he laid his coat over the back of one of the chairs she spread out a blanket and then sat with her basket.  When Marty joined her, his eyes got big seeing the foods she was setting out for them.

"My uncle's Christmas party was last night," she explained happily. 

Annie had made sure to pack all her favorites from the food that was left, making her birthday lunch with Marty even more special.  When they'd finished eating, Marty reached over to the pocket of his coat.

"Oh, I almost forgot.  I got you something," he said, pulling out a flat parcel.  It was the size of a book and wrapped in the same white paper she'd seen Mr. Dwyer use to wrap purchases at the drug store. 

"You bought me a birthday present?" Jess asked with wonder.

"Maybe," he said with a shrug, but the corners of his mouth were twitching.

Taking it from him, she noted it was too light to be a book.  She took her time unwrapping it, wanting to prolong the moment, but when she finally removed the paper, she smiled up at him.

"Chocolates!"

"I reckoned you'd like 'em," he said with another shrug.

"I love them!  Thank you, Marty."  She opened the box, and then held it out to him.  "Do you want one?"

"You choose first."

Looking over the shiny chocolates, she picked a round one, then offered the box to him again.  While he was making his decision, she bit into hers. 

"Caramel," she said with a smile.  "My favorite."

"Good," he said, finally taking one.  "Enjoy it 'cos I'm not buying 'em again."

"Why not?" she asked bemusedly.

"They caused me too much grief, that's why?" he grumbled.

"Why on earth would chocolates cause you grief?"

"When I brought them, Mrs. Schmidt asked me if they were for a girl," he complained.

"What did you tell her?" Jess asked, trying to hold back her smile.

"I told her no, of course!" he said with outrage.  "Then she asked me who I was buying them for and I was so stupid, I said the first thing that came into my head!"

"What did you say?"

"I said it was for a teacher," he muttered, his shoulders slumping, and Jess couldn't help laughing.

"Then she asked me if it was for a girl teacher!" he continued angrily.  "It wasn't like I had a choice.  I had to say yes!"  By now, Jess was holding her stomach because it hurt from laughing so hard. 

"Now she thinks I gotta crush on one of my teachers," he muttered darkly, his face flushing. 

Imagining him standing in front of the cash register, dying from embarrassment while Mrs. Schmidt interrogated him, Jess fell over on the floor, laughing even harder.

"It's not funny!" he insisted. 

"Yes – it is," she gasped.  When she'd finally recovered, she sat up, wiping tears from her eyes.  "I'm sorry about all the trouble, but I really like my present."

"Well, I reckon we're even.  You bought me a gift and now I bought you one."

Jess dropped her head while she picked up the box to put the cover on it, the lightheartedness of the previous moment vanishing.  She now understood what had motivated him to buy her a gift.  His pride was still wounded over the fish hooks she'd bought him for Christmas the previous year.

"From now on, let's not buy each other presents," Marty said, and she lifted her eyes as a pain pierced her heart.  He didn't want them to give each other gifts anymore?  Had he even wanted to give her a birthday present?  Or had he only done it because he'd felt the need to pay off his debt to her?  "We'll just make them, okay?" he continued, his eyes pleading with her.  "I reckon that's better, don't you?"  He seemed genuinely worried about her reaction, but when she smiled, his expression lightened.

"I agree.  We'll make them from now on," she replied, thinking about the wool cap she'd been knitting for his Christmas present.

Marty stood to fetch more wood for the fire while Jess gathered the empty wax paper wrappers and put them in the basket.  Then she leaned back against a chair to watch the fire and he joined her on the blanket, pulling a small piece of wood and his pen knife out of his jeans pocket.  He started whittling while she watched the flames, her thoughts turning to a subject she'd been mulling over for the last several weeks. 

At first she'd been reluctant to bring up the possibility that she and Marty could attend college together, because she knew his immediate reaction was to reject the notion.  He hadn't considered it was an option when the topic came up before, and he hadn't said anything recently that indicated he'd changed his mind. 

But over the first half of the school year, he'd excelled in all his classes, doing even better than the previous year, and it was obvious to Jess that if he did choose to go, he'd have no problem keeping up with the other students.  As she considered her own future plans, she felt she was in a terrible bind.  She didn't want to leave Marty, but continuing to live with her uncle was out of the question. 

Her future happiness was entirely dependent on convincing Marty he should attend college with her, and coming up with the best way to approach the subject was something she'd been working on non-stop.  Thinking through it all again, she knew the time had come.

"Marty, have you ever thought about what you're going to do when you graduate from high school?" she started.

"I reckon I'll work for Mr. Dwyer," he said without looking up from his whittling.

"Have you ever thought about – continuing with your schooling?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, and she met his gaze, trying not to give away any of her trepidation.

"You know – college."

"No!" he scoffed, and turned his attention back to his knife.  It was the reaction she was expecting, and she started with her prepared change in tactic.

"I've already decided.  I'm going to college."  Marty slowly lifted his head, and from the expression on his face, she knew he wasn't happy to hear it.  "I don't want to live with my uncle anymore," she continued.  "I don't want to have to live by his rules.  I want to be free!"  She stopped as she was suddenly overwhelmed, remembering how terrible her life was because of him. 

"I know, Jess," Marty said gently.

His brown eyes were full of concern for her while she quickly wiped the tears that had sprung up.  Then he moved the basket out of the way and scooted so he could sit beside her.  Taking her hand in his, he laced their fingers together.  

"I know he treats you bad."  

She put her other hand on his and breathed deeply, reminding herself to keep it together.  She needed to stay in control so she could convince him. 

"You see, if I'm at college, he can't tell me what to do.  He can't control me anymore.  I can go anywhere I want – and I can be friends with anyone I want.  Anyone, Marty," she added, looking up into his eyes.  He frowned at her with confusion, and then his expression changed. 

 "I ain't got no money for college," he said, shaking his head.

"You can save up for it if you start now," she insisted.  "I knew people back in New York who didn't have a lot of money, but they worked over the summer and school breaks to pay for it." 

"No one in my family even graduated high school before!"

"But that doesn't mean you can't!  You're smart enough, Marty.  You're the top student in chemistry class.  If you went to college, you could own your own drug store instead of working at one, or even become a scientist!"

"But I like working for Mr. Dwyer," Marty said softly.  Hearing the emotion in his voice, Jess slumped with disappointment, realizing her carefully thought out plan wasn't going to work after all. 

"I know you do," she sighed, laying her head on his shoulder.  From the way Marty talked about him, Jess knew he'd come to view Mr. Dwyer like a father.  She couldn't ask him to leave now.  Marty rested his cheek on the top of her head, and she closed her eyes while her heart ached with sadness.

"Do you have to go?" he whispered, and her heart hurt even more.

"I don't want to leave you, but if I stay, he'd never leave me alone.  Even if I lived in town, he'd tell me what to do and try to control me.  I don't want to spend the rest of my life sneaking around."

Marty's shoulder rose and fell as he sighed deeply, and she knew he'd accepted that she had no choice.  In a few years she was going to leave town – and him.  

While she listened to the logs crackling in the fire, she looked down at his hands holding hers, soaking in the warmth of his touch.  If this was all the time she had with him, she'd have to make the most of it.

"Maybe – maybe there's a way," Marty said quietly, and Jess lifted her head.  There was doubt, but also determination in his eyes.  "Do you really think it would work?"

"Yes!" Jess exclaimed, hope rising up inside her.  "That's what my dad did.  He moved away so he could be free to live the life he wanted.  Where we lived, no one cared that our name was Blackwell."

"Then – I'll do it," Marty said firmly.  "I'll save my money so I can go with you."

"Really?" she cried, and he nodded, a smile lighting up his face.  With a squeal of happiness, she threw her arms around him and squeezed him with all her strength.  He chuckled while he hugged her back, the sound tickling her ear through his shirt. 

"I can't wait!" she exclaimed.

"I reckon I can't either."

While she held him tight, she smiled so widely her cheeks hurt and she felt like she was going to burst.  This is real, she thought giddily.  In a few years, she and Marty were going to be together and free.  They could be friends right out in the open; walking to classes together, studying at the library, eating all their meals together.  They'd never have to sneak around or worry about getting caught again.

Later that night, while eating her birthday dinner with Annie, Doug, and Uncle Jonathon, she still felt like she was floating.  While she talked and laughed with Annie and Doug, Uncle Jonathon was silent, but his sour mood did nothing to take away her happiness.  On the contrary, it reminded her that when she left, her life was going to be so much better.  Once she'd moved far away, he could never use his influence to control her or hurt Marty again. 

~

On the the first Monday after Christmas break, Miss Gillis made the girls run laps around the perimeter of the gym during P.E.   Jess didn't mind when they had to run during class.  She'd imagine she'd just gotten over the iron fence and was finally free, but Louise hated it.

"I swear – she always has us do laps – when she's too lazy to teach," she complained while she gasped for air, casting dark looks at Miss Gillis who was sitting on the bleachers watching the girls.  "I gotta stitch!" she cried loudly, clutching her side, and Jess grabbed her own side so she could walk beside her without Miss Gillis blowing her whistle at her. 

"How do you think you did on the chemistry test today?" Louise asked when she'd finally caught her breath.

"All right, I guess," Jess said while a group of girls ran past them. 

Marty had helped her prepare for it over the break, and she hadn't found it too difficult, but she knew why Louise was worried.  She'd struggled all year in that class.  Jess wished she could study with her so she could pass on the help Marty was giving her, but it wasn't possible.  It was one more example of how her uncle's unreasonable rules affected the people Jess cared about, she thought angrily.

"I hope I did okay," Louise stated worriedly.

"I'm sure you did," Jess said, doing her best to give her an encouraging smile.

"Thank goodness we have Marty to do the lab work." 

"Yeah," Jess said vaguely, looking across the gym and instantly feeling uncomfortable.

"If it wasn't for him, I'd be failing."

Jess remained silent, hoping Louise would drop the subject. 

"You know, when we work with him, you're really quiet.  More quiet than usual."

"I hadn't noticed," Jess replied with a light laugh, but her stomach was twisting in knots.  It was true that she didn't speak much to Marty during the times they had a lab.  She'd been trying to be careful so Louise wouldn't pick up on their close friendship, but maybe she'd taken it too far?

"But then sometimes, he'll say something to you," Louise continued, making Jess's stomach twist even further.  "And – I don't know how to explain it.  You smile at him like you're really happy."

"I'm not allowed to be happy?" Jess grumbled, angry that Louise had been so perceptive.

"You are," Louise admitted quietly.  Even though they hadn't been running for several minutes, Jess's heart was racing.  "I gotta ask you," she said, suddenly turning to Jess.  "Do you like Marty?"

"No!" Jess said loudly, and then glanced over at Miss Gillis.  Luckily they were on the opposite side of the gym and she hadn't heard.   "I don't like him," she asserted more quietly, but the skeptical look on Louise's face let her know Louise wasn't buying it.

"Are you sure?"

While she looked in her friends eyes, Jess desperately to think what she should say.  She hated lying to her, especially when it was so obvious, but she had to do something to contain the damage.  Louise was already so close to guessing the truth.  Maybe she should just admit she liked Marty and hope Louise wouldn't dig any further.  But wouldn't even that little bit of information put Marty in danger?

 "Well, I know one thing for sure.  Marty likes you," Louise added firmly, and Jess's heart sank.  This was worse than she thought. 

"Why do you think that?" she asked faintly. 

"He watches you when he doesn't think anyone's looking.  He's been doing it for a while."

"That doesn't mean anything," Jess insisted.

"What's the big deal, Jess?" Louise said, putting her hands on her hips with exasperation.  "I don't know why you're going to so much trouble to deny it.  You're allowed to like boys!" 

"Look, Louise," Jess said, leaning close to her as she made a decision.  "The fact is – Doug hates Marty."  Louise's mouth dropped open with shock.

"Why?"

"It's a long story, but if he knew Marty was my lab partner, he wouldn't like it.  And if he told my uncle – it would be bad.  He might even take me out of school."  Louise's eyes widened, and then her face changed.  

"Your uncle wouldn't approve – because of who he is?"

"Yes," Jess agreed, slumping with relief that she finally understood. 

"Gosh, I didn't realize.  No wonder you've been so quiet around him.  I'm sorry about that, Jess," she said sincerely, and Jess gave her a sad smile.

"It's just the way things have to be," she said, shrugging with resignation.  Louise opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by the shriek of a whistle.

"Ladies!  Let's get moving!" Miss Gillis shouted, and there were groans across the gym as girls began a tired jog.

"I really hate her!" Louise seethed through clenched teeth while the two of them picked up their pace, but Jess was grateful Miss Gillis had stopped the conversation.  Seeing the pity in her friend's eyes hadn't made her feel very good, nor did the knowledge that Louise had an even better idea of how badly she was treated at home. 

As she kept pace with Louise, Jess escaped into her imagination, finally over the fence and running free down the dirt road away from her uncle.

****

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter!  This one is quite important as Jess has now convinced Marty to attend college with her.  I can't wait to hear what you think about that!  Do you think they'll manage it?  Also, Louise has guessed quite a bit about Marty and Jess's attraction for each other.  Do you think she'll stay quiet?  

If you liked this chapter, please consider giving it a vote!  The song is the classic hit Put Your Head on My Shoulder by Paul Anka.  I do love that one a lot, and the picture is 15 year old Natalie Wood, who I've decided would make a perfect older Jess.