On the day of Doug's sixteenth birthday, Jess went downstairs carrying the wrapped after shave lotion.  The whole house was filled with the delicious smell of Doug's favorite roast chicken dinner that Annie had been cooking all day.  When she walked into the dining room, her uncle was already seated looking through his mail.  There were wrapped presents at one end of the table arranged around Doug's birthday cake, a devil's food cake with vanilla icing, but Jess was most surprised to see an extra place set at the table next to her seat. 

Setting her gift near the others, she went to her chair, looking at the extra place setting.  She wondered if her uncle would let her know who was joining them, but he ignored her as usual while he sorted through his envelopes.

"Is someone eating with us?" she asked finally.

"Annie always joins us on Douglas's birthday," he replied distractedly.

"Oh," she said, and dropped her head to hide her smile while she placed her napkin in her lap.  It was the first time that Annie was going to eat with them.

Doug came in just as Annie pushed through the swinging door with the last of their food, beaming at him. 

"It looks good, Annie," Doug said heartily as he sat.

"Thank you, Doug," she said, taking her seat next to Jess. 

The three of them smiled at each other before Uncle Jonathon held his hand out for Doug's plate, but Jess thought even he seemed happy.  While they ate, Annie told stories about Doug, recounting the funny things he used to say and do when he was little while Doug pretended to be embarrassed, but Jess could tell he was enjoying it. 

Afterwards, Annie lit the candles on his cake and Jess turned out the lights.  They sang 'Happy Birthday', and then Doug blew out his candles.  While they ate their cake, Doug opened his presents between bites, starting with his father's gifts, two sets of cuff links. 

"Thanks, dad," Doug said, admiring them. 

"I don't want you wearing them to school.  Those are solid gold," he explained, sitting more erect when he said it.  

"Really?" Doug said, his eyes widening with excitement.  "They're swell!"

"Now when you go to the office, you'll be able to dress the part," he said imperiously.

"I can't wait to wear them," Doug said.  Watching him gaze at them adoringly, Jess fought back the familiar jealousy.  She wasn't surprised her uncle would give him such an expensive gift, but it still hurt he fought over every dollar he spent on her.

Then Annie handed over her present, and when he opened it, Jess was even more excited than he was.  It was a large stack of 45's, all of them rock and roll.

"I thought this year, you and your friends were old enough to have a dance party," Annie said, beaming at him while he looked through the records.  "Now you'll have the music."

"Yeah!" Doug said excitedly.  "That'll be fun!  Thanks, Annie." 

"You're welcome," she said, and quickly wiped her eyes with her napkin.

"Here Doug," Jess said, handing over her gift.  When he pulled off the paper, he looked at it quizzically, and Jess suddenly worried.

"I hope you like it," she added weakly.  Doug opened his mouth to reply when his father interrupted him.

"What is it?" he asked.

"After shave lotion," Doug said, holding it up. 

"That's – a very nice gift," he said, his eyes traveling from the box to gaze at Jess.  Immediately feeling uncomfortable by the intensity of his stare, she turned her attention to Doug.  From the way he'd said it, she knew her uncle didn't mean it.  Maybe he thought it should have been more expensive.

"Yeah, Jess.  Thanks," Doug said unexcitedly without meeting her eyes. 

"I hope you like the smell," she added, thinking maybe that would make it more appealing.

"Yes, Douglas.  Why don't you open it?" his father suggested.  With his head down, he reluctantly popped up the top of the box and pulled out the clear glass bottle.  After unscrewing the cap, he sniffed it. 

"Can I smell it?" Annie asked with her hand out, and he gave it to her.  When she brought it close to her nose, Jess caught a spicy whiff.  "Oh, it's so nice!" she said, smiling at Jess.  "You picked a good one."

"Thanks," Jess said, smiling back at her, grateful that at least she liked it.

"Yeah, it's good," Doug said quietly, as he took the bottle back from Annie, still not looking at her.  It was clear he hated it.  She wished now she'd thought to give him something else.

"Do you know which dress you're wearing to the party?" Annie asked, still smiling, surprising Jess with the question.

"Uh, I didn't think I was attending," Jess said uncertainly, looking over at Doug but he kept his eyes on the box as he closed the lid.  "I thought – it was just going to be Doug's friends."

"Of course, you're attending!" her uncle said sharply, his brown eyes flashing. 

"Oh, okay," Jess answered, glancing back at Doug again. 

He was hunched over his plate and the way he was jabbing his fork into the remainder of his cake let her know he wasn't happy she was coming to his party.  She didn't want to go anyway.  It was bound to be awkward since she barely knew the older teens who would be attending, but now that it was apparent he didn't want her there either, she felt even worse.  But now she didn't have a choice.

"Well, you have all day tomorrow to choose," Annie said gently, patting her hand under the table, her hazel eyes kind and reassuring. 

"Yeah," Jess replied, grateful that at least she understood how Jess felt.

The next day was a flurry of activity as the house was prepared for the party.  The furniture in the grand parlor was pushed to the edges of the room and the carpets were rolled up and removed.  Instead of spending the day with Marty, Jess was on kitchen duty with Annie, making finger sandwiches filled with egg or ham salad, canapés, dozens of deviled eggs, and a giant salmon mousse in a fish shaped mold.  

By time Annie sent her upstairs, Jess was tired and ready for a long soak in her bathtub.  Afterwards, standing in front of her open wardrobe in her undershirt and crinoline, she looked at her clothes on the hangers.  Knowing how much of a big deal they were making over the party, her school dresses weren't fancy enough and she pushed them aside. 

Locating a dress she hadn't worn since last spring, she took it off the hanger and immediately noticed it looked smaller than she remembered.  As she started to pull it on over her head, she could feel how tight it was and stopped, dropping it on the floor.  She took two more dresses off their hangers and tried them even though she already knew she'd outgrown them.  They soon joined the first one on the floor.  That left only two dresses to choose from. 

With a sigh, she pulled down the mint green dress she'd last worn the day she went to the lawyer to hear her father's will being read.  It went over her head more easily than the others, but her hopes sank when she started doing the buttons down the front.  There was no denying the dress was just too tight. 

Suddenly filled with anger she even had to go to Doug's stupid party she quickly unfastened the buttons and pulled it off, throwing it to the floor.  She looked at the last dress with dismay.  It was the pale blue plaid one she'd worn the night she went out with Doug.  She would have gladly gotten rid of it, never wanting to wear that dress again, after what had happened that terrible night, but she couldn't without Annie asking questions.

Taking it off the hanger, she hoped it would be too small so she could wear one of her school dresses, but of course it still fit enough she could fasten the buttons.  Then she noticed the skirt was too short, nearly reaching her knees.  She considered taking off her crinoline.  It would make the skirt appear longer, but she knew attending the party without it wasn't an option.  Slumping in defeat, she went to the bathroom to deal with her hair. 

Walking downstairs with her crinoline swishing as it scratched her legs, she went in the grand parlor.  Near the entrance, an empty table was set up with a white table cloth over it, and at the far end, Annie was fussing at the dining table that had been brought in by James.  As Jess joined her, she saw it was covered with platters of the food they'd spent all day preparing as well as a giant punch bowl filled red punch and cut up fruit.  For anyone who didn't want punch, bottles of Coca Cola were lined up. 

"What's that table for," Jess asked, pointing to the empty one at the other end of the room.

"It's for the presents," Annie said distractedly.

"Oh," Jess said, turning away to look around the room.  She spotted the high fidelity stereo just as Annie placed her hands on her hips, surveying the table. 

"Am I missing anything?" she muttered quietly under her breath, and then gasped. "Oh, my goodness!  Napkins!" 

She rushed out of the room while Jess went to the record player.  Sorting through the stack of Doug's new 45's, she put the records she liked best on top so they would be played first.  Uncle Jonathon walked in the room, and when she lifted her head, she was surprised he already had a drink in his hand.  He usually didn't have one until after the sun had set.  Then she noticed the scowl on his face and the anger in his brown eyes, and her stomach sank.  

"What are you wearing?" he shouted, making her jump just as Annie came in with a stack of brightly colored paper napkins.

"What's wrong," she asked, rushing towards him.

"Did you see this?" he bellowed, pointing his finger in Jess's direction, and Annie turned and looked at Jess fully for the first time, the color draining from her face.  "Why is she wearing that?" he demanded.

"I'm sorry, sir.  With all the preparations, I –."

"What am I paying you for, if you can't be responsible enough to attend to details like these?" he seethed.

"Jess, go upstairs and change before the guests arrive," Annie urged desperately.  Seeing the look of fear in her eyes, made Jess's stomach sink even further. 

"It's the only one I have that fits," she explained quietly. 

"This is just perfect!" Uncle Jonathon sneered with exasperation while Annie's shoulders drooped.  Jess couldn't stand that Annie was being blamed for something that wasn't her fault.

"She didn't know I'd outgrown my dresses," Jess said to him, determined to take his ire off Annie, but she could tell by the look in his eyes that speaking up might have made things worse.  "But – I'll make sure it doesn't happen again," she added.

"You'd better!" he snapped warningly. 

"Yes, sir."

He turned away and she looked over at Annie.  Her head was hanging as she looked at the party napkins still in her hands, her eyes full of sadness.  It was clear she 'd been wounded by Uncle Jonathon's anger.

"Come on, Annie," Jess said gently.  "Let's put these on the table."  Annie sighed and attempted to smile.  Jess took her hand and led her to the table. 

While she helped Annie arrange the napkins in a fan pattern, Annie whispered sadly, "I should have warned you, he has a harder time on certain days.  Doug's birthday is one of them.  It brings up a lot of memories for him – and – he just has a hard time."

"I – understand," Jess said, even though she didn't.  No matter what he was feeling, he shouldn't be so mean to Annie, or to her, Jess thought angrily.  It was cruel to treat the woman who was raising his son like that.

 "Ah, Douglas!" Uncle Jonathon said heartily, and Jess turned around. 

Doug was dressed up in a suit and tie, the dark blue color making his arresting blue eyes stand out.  His hair was shiny from the hair cream, the dark waves perfectly swept up off his forehead.  It was too bad Donna wasn't invited to the party, Jess thought.  He looked especially handsome.

"Are you excited, son?" Uncle Jonathon asked, walking up to him with a smile. 

"Yes, sir," Doug replied, basking in his father's attention.

"That's fine, son.  Fine!" he said, clasping Doug's hand and grasping his upper arm with his other hand. 

Jess had to turn away, her chest aching.  The way her uncle had looked at Doug at that moment, instantly reminded her of how her own father used to look at her, his warm brown eyes filled with love, and it hurt too much.  She swallowed against the lump in her throat as the door bell rang.  Annie rushed to the door, followed by Doug, and Jess went back to the stereo to sort records.

"What are you doing?" Uncle Jonathon asked sternly, and she halted.  Now what?  "Are you not a member of this family?  Go greet the guests!" he demanded, pointing towards the entryway.

"Yes, sir," she said, grateful for an excuse to get away from him.  She hated him, she thought while her blood boiled.  And as soon as she graduated, she was going to live as far away from him as she could.

Standing next to Doug while he loudly welcomed his friends, she felt distinctly out of place.  The boys eyed her curiously when she mumbled her hello, clearly wondering why she was there, but the worst was the girls.  Each of them was dressed stylishly in beautiful dresses, making her feel ugly in comparison, and she didn't miss the looks on their faces when they gave her too-short little girl's dress the once over.   

To cover up her awkwardness, she pretended to be busy taking jackets for Annie to hang, and directing people to where the gift table was located.  Once the last boy had arrived and Annie had hung his letter jacket, she bustled into the grand parlor, and Jess slowly followed.  While Doug laughed and talked loudly with his friends, Annie went around, inviting them to eat or offering to get them a drink. 

Jess stayed to the fringes of the room, watching them and wishing she could slip away to her bedroom, when Uncle Jonathon appeared in the entryway with a refreshed drink in his hand.  One look at the anger in his eyes, and she set off across the room to go stand next to Doug before he caused a scene.  As she got closer to him, she felt uncomfortable, knowing he wouldn't want her hanging around him, and she glanced over her shoulder.  Uncle Jonathon had disappeared and she changed course, heading to the stereo.  When she reached it, she peered down at the phonograph and got an idea.

Choosing her current favorite Elvis song, Don't, she put it on the turntable and started it playing, making sure the volume was lower than people's voices. 

https://youtu.be/T_IEho5uedM

When that one was finished, she chose a faster one and to her delight, a few couples began dancing.  Playing record after record, she kept the party music going until it was time for them to light the candles on the cake and sing 'Happy Birthday'. 

After that, everyone wanted to dance and Jess kept busy mixing the records in different combinations and stacking them on the spindle so they were ready to go, one after the other.  Tapping her foot and moving to the music, she watched the couples dancing, admiring how the girls' beautiful skirts flared out as they twirled. 

Then she noticed Doug standing over by the food table with his arms crossed over his chest, watching the couples as well.  He hadn't danced once, and she suddenly felt sad for him.  If he'd been allowed to invite Donna, he probably would be dancing with his friends.  Not wanting him to be alone at his party, she went to him. 

"Hi Jess," he said when she reached him, and she said 'hi' back, standing next to him to watch the dancers.

"I'm sorry Donna isn't here," she said.

"What?" he asked, looking at her sharply, dropping his arms. 

"I'm sorry you couldn't invite Donna," she explained, and he quickly looked around.

"Why would you say that?" he demanded quietly, leaning over her.

"Because – you like her," she said, perplexed by the way he was acting.

"You don't know that!" he hissed angrily, his blue eyes hard.  She was stunned.

"But I thought –."

"You don't know my feelings!  Do you understand?"

"I'm – sorry, Doug.  I just assumed –."

"Don't!" he interrupted again. 

"Okay," she said. 

"Because you're wrong!"

"Okay.  I get it," she said quickly, trying to placate him.

"Good," he spat, turning and crossing his arms over his chest so he could resume watching his friends dance. 

She could tell he was still angry by the tension in his body.  As she thought about all the times she'd seen Donna walking with him in the hallways at school, or sitting beside him during lunch, she couldn't believe she'd been wrong.  Did he really not care about her?  Or was his reaction so strong because he'd been worried his father might overhear.  That must be it, she decided as she considered it further.  Uncle Jonathon had been continuously popping into the room to check on the party.  She sighed, realizing how scared she must have made Doug talking so openly about his girlfriend in the house. 

A short thin boy with a bad case of acne came up to them, saying hello to Doug, then he surprised Jess by stepping in front of her with his hand out, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Do you, uh, want to, uh, dance?" he mumbled to the floor, while she stared at him with astonishment. 

"Uh," she started, not sure what to say. 

"Sorry, Phil," Doug said, taking her hand.  "Jess already promised this dance to me."  Jess's mouth dropped open as he began pulling her towards the dancing teens.

"Oh, uh, yeah.  Sure thing, Doug," Phil mumbled, to their backs.

When they were among the dancing couples, Doug turned towards her.  Seeing her gaping at him, her mouth still hanging open, he suddenly looked embarrassed.

"I, uh, thought I'd save you – from having your feet stomped on," he said, his eyes darting around the room.  "Phil's a terrible dancer," he added with his shoulders slumping.

"Oh, thanks," she said.  From the way he was acting, she felt something else was going on with him, but she had no idea what it could be.  "Only – I might stomp on your feet.  I've never danced with a boy before," she admitted quietly, wanting to give him the opportunity to change his mind before it was too late.  His brow furrowed as he examined her, and then his expression changed as he gave her a beautiful smile.

"Don't worry about that.  It's easy," he replied, taking her hand and holding it up while he wrapped his other arm around her waist.  "Just follow my lead and I'll walk you through the steps."  He waited and she realized what she was supposed to do.  She put her free hand up on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body coming through the fine wool of his jacket. 

"Now watch my feet and follow the steps," he encouraged her with a smile.  Starting slowly, she soon caught on to the simple movements, and then it wasn't long before they were effortlessly gliding around the floor, swaying to the music. 

It turned out Doug was not only a good teacher, he was a good dancer, and soon Jess was having a wonderful time as record after record played.  Her favorites soon became the fast songs because he would twirl her around as they danced.  Doug seemed to be having a good time too, smiling and laughing with her. 

And then, something changed.  He was no longer smiling and his dancing was flat, like he was just going through the motions.  She examined him, wondering what was wrong, but he wouldn't meet her eyes.  As soon as the song was over, he let go of her.

"I'm thirsty," he mumbled, looking towards the table where the drinks are.

"Oh, okay.  I guess I'm thirsty too," she said, while he turned and walked away from her.

She followed him, watching his back as he strode to the table.  She waited while he poured a cup of punch so she could get her own, but he surprised her by handing it to her.  She turned around as she took a sip so she could watch the couples, and then her heart sped up.  Uncle Jonathon was at the far end of the room, leaning against the door frame with his head back, his glass in hand while his bloodshot eyes blazed intensely at her. 

With his eyes boring into her, she pretended not to notice, drinking her punch while she watched the teens dance.  Doug walked away to talk to some unattached boys, leaving her alone and she felt even more uncomfortable while her uncle continued to glare at her.  Then he stepped out of the room, and she slumped with relief.  Setting down her glass, she wandered over to the record player to resume playing records.

An hour later, the party finally ended and Jess helped Annie hand out jackets while Doug said hearty farewells and shook hands.  After the last jacket had been put on, Annie went back into the grand parlor and Jess followed her.  When she began picking up discarded Coca Cola bottles, Annie took the bottles from her.

"You look tired, pumpkin," she said kindly. 

"I am tired," Jess admitted.

"You should go to bed.  I'll just get the last of the food put away and take care of the rest of this tomorrow."

"Okay," Jess said, giving her a hug.  "Good night, Annie."

"Good night.  And good night to you too, Doug," she said more loudly. 

"Good night, Annie," he said, from the door with a smile.  "Thanks for everything.  It was a great party."

"I'm glad you liked it, Doug," she said happily.

Jess decided to go to her room the back way, not wanting to take a chance she'd see her uncle again.  Once she had on her nightgown and had brushed her teeth, she climbed in bed, but as she pulled the blankets up, she heard loud voices muffled through her door, and she wondered what could be going on.  Throwing off her blanket, she got up and went to the door, slipping on her robe.  As soon as she opened it, she heard her Uncle's voice booming out from the staircase. 

"Lea' me alone!"  Hearing the anger in his voice, she closed the door, leaving it open only a crack.

"Please, sir.  Not so loud," Annie implored him quietly.  "You'll wake the children." 

"So!" he said belligerently. 

"Let me help you upstairs," she begged softly.

"No!  Don't need help!"

"Please, Mr. Blackwell."  Jess heard stumbling and then a thump on the stairs and her Uncle swore loudly.  "Johnny, please let me help you!" she pleaded urgently. "You're going to break your neck!"

"Alright, alright," he muttered, as the tops of their heads came into view 

"Why's it so hard to climb the stairs?" he slurred bitterly.  "Why's everything gotta be so hard?"

"I don't know," Annie said quietly.  Jess could see Uncle Jonathon had his arm over Annie's slim shoulders and she was holding him around his waist while they lurched up the stairs.

"Why'd she have to die?  Why?" he asked, his voice choked with emotion. 

"I don't know, Johnny," Annie replied sorrowfully.

"Why'd he have to die?" he cried more loudly, and Annie shushed him.  They were walking down the hallway now, their backs to Jess.  "If he hadn't died, everything would be so much easier," he spat bitterly.  "None of this shit with her –."

"Johnny, stop!" Annie said with shock, closing his bedroom door behind them.

Jess opened her door, trying to hear more and then she noticed Doug step out into the hallway in his pajamas.  As he looked at his father's bedroom door, she froze, unsure what to do.  She didn't want him to know she'd witnessed his father being drunk, but if she closed her door, he'd hear it.  And then he turned to go back to his room and saw her. 

He stood perfectly still, his face grim as he lifted his chin defiantly, daring her to say something about what she'd just seen.  Seeing the pain and anger in his blue eyes, Jess felt sad for him.  Then he turned and went back into his room, quietly closing his door behind him and she closed her own door with a sigh. 

Walking across the wood floor in her bare feet, she began shivering, suddenly realizing how cold she was.  Climbing in bed without taking off her robe, she burrowed deep under her blankets, curling into a ball while her body shook, still feeling sad for Doug.  He had to hate seeing his father out of control like that. Then she thought about what her uncle had said. Why did she have to die?  He was obviously referring to his wife.  But then he'd said, 'Why did he have to die?'  Who was the 'he', she wondered.  It must be his son, but something else her uncle said didn't make sense.  Things would be easier if he'd lived, and it had to do with a 'her'. 

As she mulled it over in her mind, a terrible searing pain burned through her suddenly as the pieces finally came together.  She was who was he was referring to, and the 'he' was her father.  If her father had lived, she wouldn't be there and Uncle Jonathon's life would be easier.  Feeling tears prick her eyes under the dark blankets, she finally understood.  She'd felt it from the moment he'd arrived in Manhattan to oversee her parent's funeral.  When he'd brought her back home with him, she'd felt like an unwelcome guest.  But until that moment, she'd never known the degree with which he hated her. 

Brushing her tears away as they came, she felt a terrible ache of grief.  For the first time since her parent's deaths, she realized she was truly alone and unwanted.  It was a long time before she fell asleep.

****

I don't know about you guys, but I got teary at the end of this chapter.  It ended up being a lot longer than I was expecting, but it's a very important chapter.  Jess has learned a piece of information she didn't know before.  What do you think of her uncle's behavior in this chapter?  What about Doug and how he's acted around Jess?  And what do you make of Annie continuing to work for someone who treats her the way he does?  What do you think is going to happen in the next morning?  I can't wait to hear your opinions!

I really hope you liked it!  If you did, please consider giving it a vote!  The video is Silhouettes by The Rays.