Chapter 1: Cynical, Boring, And A Few Other Things



"For most people, high school seems to be the time to find your inner passion. To find out what you truly want to become, set goals, and strive to achieve them. Every student wanders around, questioning what they dream of becoming. "Be yourself!" is what they say... Open up to the wide world and show them what you are made of. The world is your stage, and you're the actor playing on it. Show them your talent... If it was that easy, we would have amateur actors around every corner... The world is a stage and you're the actor, so stay in your lane and stick with the script. Standing out and being yourself is only going to complicate things. Most people don't even know themselves. They merely adapt to their surroundings and the people around them... " read Mrs. Schulz.

She takes an enraged glimpse at Benjamin before slamming his essay down on her desk. After that, she lets out a disappointing sigh.

"Benjamin, for the love of god you cannot write something like this and give it to me, expecting to return you an honest grade! Is this really how you view high school?" she says as she looks at Benjamin with a frowning expression.

"Well, you said that we must write an honest opinion about 'expressing yourself' and this is my honest opinion. So I don't see a problem with you giving an honest grade for this honest essay," replies Benjamin. He stands in front of Mrs. Schulz with both hands in his pockets, waiting for a response. All the while having his usual dead and apathetic face, which is a trait even his friends bring up all the time. Promptly, Mrs. Schulz stands up, takes her hand in front of Benjamin's face, and flicks his forehead.

"-Ouch! Wh-What was that for?"

"You really are a piece of work Benjamin, you know that? Just because I said that you guys must be answering honestly, does not mean you can rant about your little worldview! I honestly don't think this is all you have to say about 'expressing yourself'," says Mrs. Schulz. Benjamin, still rubbing his forehead, makes an annoyed face. He did as asked, and yet his answer didn't meet Mrs. Schulz's expectations.

He takes a peek to his left, realizing that while all the other students are on their break time, he stands in a classroom getting lectured. His friends Emre, Juliane, and Simon are sitting around a table outside, overlooking the classroom. Simon glimpses at Benjamin and pinpoints his watch, questioning why he is taking so long. Benjamin quickly dismisses him and turns back to his teacher Mrs. Schulz, who is still blustering about his article.

"...I mean, do you think this is the right way to answer?" she asks.

"I don't know. But it's certainly one way," he replies with a smirk. His comment is followed by yet another flick to his forehead.

"-Ouch! Okay, I get it. No more comments."

Mrs. Schulz sits down in her chair and lets out a deep sigh filled with utter dissatisfaction. She crosses her arms and stares at Benjamin's deadpan face. Suddenly, Benjamin feels as if the room's temperature got significantly colder. The class continually compares her stare to icicles piercing right through you. But even then, icicles melt when the summer begins. Benjamin knows that after a while, Mrs. Schulz would eventually calm down and try to figure out some solution to her students' problems.

"-Look, Benjamin. I just think that perhaps after getting a new perspective, you'll change your look on high school and maybe even on the world. I believe the perfect opportunity for you to get that certain perspective might even come later this day," she says while twirling her fingers around.

"I really don't believe I change my perspective that easy. Besides, it's society's fault that people act this delusional. People only know their true selves when given the opportunity to create their image. Until then they are merely what society instructs them to be...Wait for a second, what do you mean 'later this day'?" asks Benjamin. He is completely dumbstruck as to why she said, "later this day." She quickly shakes her head and dismisses his question.

"Don't worry, you'll find out later," she says. Mrs. Schulz stands up, grabs him by his shoulders, and shoves Benjamin out of the classroom.

"Now go enjoy the rest of your break," Mrs. Schulz says with a slight smirk.

"H-Hey! Answer my question!" yells Benjamin. Before he knows it, the door slams in front of him. He is standing before it with an open mouth, still bewildered about what just occurred. He lifts his arm, but before he can even knock on the door, he hears Mrs. Schulz locking the door. Benjamin's face gets all crunched up. Promptly he squats down and shouts through the keyhole: "That doesn't do anything! We still have your subject later today!"

Annoyed and still walking in the unknown, Benjamin strolls through the hallway out to his friends.


The campus of the Rheingard Private School is full of students walking around in 'normal clothes'. Although, Benjamin wouldn't call them casual clothes. They mainly wear designer clothes or find a way to display their parents' wealth. It makes his blood boil just looking at them. Rheingard Private School is a private school for the gifted and for those who seek further advancement in their favorite subject. Or how Benjamin calls it: "A school for spoiled rich kids." Somewhat hypocritical of him to say such a thing. Even to this day, he doesn't know why he is in such a private school. It's probably due to his mother pulling some strings to get him into here. Even though most students are spoiled rich kids, the majority of the students are geniuses. It is pushing Benjamin to feel less included than he already feels. His teachers see him as a mere "above average student."


Benjamin walks over to where his friends are sitting. They have already finished their meals. Juliane slurps the last bits of her soft drink, Emre chews the final piece of bread, and Simon has a facial expression that says "finally."

"Finally! What the heck took you so long?" asks Simon.

Simon Heitz is a good friend of Benjamin. He is that typical blonde german boy who you can see in advertisements for "Lederhosen." His hobbies range from skiing with his family in the winter to have a discussion with them about the different shades of green. Not that it would bother Benjamin, but arguing about the shades of green right at the dinner table, isn't what he would call a "discussion." Although the two seem like polar opposites, they often enjoy each other's company. However, it wouldn't be a good friendship without friendly banter. Simon often pokes fun at Benjamin's gloomy face, while he in return jokes about Simon's trash taste of games.

"Whas it abou *chew* you *chew* essay?" asks Emre while still chewing his piece of bread.

"Chewing and talking is impolite, you know that? We don't want you to choke on some sesame bread. Besides, what did you say?" responds Benjamin.

Emre Yilmaz is the next person in Benjamin's friend group. The skinny boy of Turkish descent never seems to amaze him with his obsession with food. So long as it's consumable, there is a good chance that Emre will ask the person if he can have a piece. No matter how much he eats, Emre is unable to put on weight. Some would say it's a superpower to consume this much food and still be able to fit in those skinny jeans that have been bought two years ago. Every time he would come over to Benjamin's house, he would somehow always end up in the kitchen - right in front of the fridge.

"He asked if it was about your essay that you took so long," states Juliane.

"Well, apparently my 'honest' essay didn't satisfy Mrs. Schulz."

Onto the last member of the friend circle, a joyless half-Italian girl named Juliane Bergler. Although her name sounds like a person one would also see in advertisements for "Lederhosen," Juliane is anything but that. She is a girl of medium height. However, the sheer anger when someone does an "un-itallian" thing exceeds her height. She gets infuriated when you break spaghetti before throwing them into a pot and practically passes away when pineapple on pizza is mentioned. In short, she is short-tempered.

Promptly, Emre spits out his sesame bread and begins to giggle. He slaps his hand on the table, points at Benjamin, and says: "...Looks like Mr. Cynical over here can't 'satisfy' his teacher! Hahaha.."

Everybody turns to Emre and looks at him in confusion. Benjamin's baffled expression persists before realizing what Emre is talking about. He crosses his arms and makes an extremely irritating face.

"Grow up you fool..." he voices.

"I don't get it," expresses Simon.

"It's a joke about how Benjamin can't satisfy wom-" responds Juliane. However, she gets cut off by Benjamin.

"Alright! Thank you Juliane, but that's enough! Look- all I'm saying is, why is it that my 'honest' answer isn't being taken seriously?"

They all sit in quietness, and nobody can come up with an answer. Emre, Juliane, and Simon all gave their essays to Mrs. Schulz without getting much negative feedback.

After a while, Simon looks at Benjamin and says: "Maybe it's because you yourself don't know if you truly answered 'honestly'? I mean, you surely have expressed yourself once in your life, haven't you?"

Benjamin looks back at him in confusion. What does Simon mean by that? It seems like such a simple question to reply to, but Benjamin doesn't know how to reply.

"Well, in this essay, I have expressed myself. Does that answer your question?"

"Not in words, idiot. Actions."

His eyes make a swift turn onto the ground beneath him. The wind blows past him, the wrapping of Emre's burger flies onto the ground, and Juliane's empty cup almost falls over. Benjamin remembers something from his past every time someone brings up the topic of "expressing yourself."

He takes a breath and replies to Simon: "Yeah, but-"

Promptly, he is cut off by the bell.

"Ah dammit. Save it for later. We should hurry back inside. Mr. Hoffheim has an exam prepared for us, and you know how he is when students get to his class late," says Emre.

Benjamin's friends stand up and head towards the entrance. He stands behind and after some time, treks to the entrance while murmuring to himself: "-but that was a long time ago..."


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