Episode One, Part 6:
Horizons.

This world is changing me,
but I'll love you faithfully. 

Sol, Kodiak and Dreea hurried to return to where their camp was set up along the shoreline, making sure that everyone who was even close to entering the edges of the forest were guided back towards the sandy beach.

At the commotion upon their arrival, the others realised they were back and Chessca was one of the first people to head towards them, eager to reach Sol and Dreea after having been away from them for a few hours. But it didn't take long for her relief to vanish as Chessca's eyes were immediately drawn to the injury Sol had sustained, noticeable just by the way she was clutching onto her arm as if trying to stop the pain from spreading all throughout her body.

"River!?" She exclaimed, drawing the attention of several of their friends as she jumped up from her seat, already running towards the Sovereigns. "What the hell happened out there? Are you okay? Here, sit down."

"I'm okay, Chess," Sol assured her, although she didn't resist her efforts as Chessca led her over to a log and forced her to sit down, desperately calling out for Fenn, Aeryn and Atlantis to reach them.

"What happened?"

Sol glanced over at Dreea, grateful that she was able to comfort Chessca as Sol was preoccupied, trying to keep her wincing to a minimum as Fenn inspected her arm.

"...Where's Wynn?" She asked, thinking that she didn't want him to be left out of the conversation.

"Right here!" He called out, pushing his way past everyone and falling at Sol's side on the log, too focused on the injury to her arm to realise that she was trying to say something important.

"So, what happened?" Chessca repeated her question, growing more anxious as every minute passed by without an answer.

"There's other people on this island..." She confessed, scanning around to take in everyone's reactions.

"Other people... And they hurt you," Atlantis clarified, already knowing for certain that she didn't like them. Although she knew it was bizarre, she wanted nothing more than to scour the forests in search for whoever had hurt her sister.

"They came out of nowhere," Dreea answered. "One minute we were talking, the next, one of them shot an arrow in Riv's arm. Speaking of which, is she gonna be okay, Fenn?"

"I know it looks like a lot of blood, but it's normal, so don't freak out too much-"

"Too much," Sol chuckled, emphasising his words. "That's reassuring."

Fenn rolled his eyes in amusement, glad that she was feeling well enough to make a joke out of her current predicament. "You're going to have some bad muscle damage for a while. You'll need to take it easy, I'd say for about 10 days. Then we'll gradually work on some strengthening activities-"

"10 days?"

"And the additional time once you start using it again-"

"Give me a couple of days and I'll be fine," Sol declared. "As I said, there's other people out there. And clearly, they know how to fight. We need to focus on that."

"River-"

"I appreciate it, but please just get me stitched up because I really don't have the time to be hurt at the moment."

"...Do we even have anything to stitch her up with?" Atlantis voiced her concern.

"Just about enough," Fenn sighed, revealing how desperately he had been hoping to avoid that question. "Each vessel ship had a first aid kit attached. It's not much compared to what we'd have back home, but considering Neptunum was a medical ship, I guess that makes us a little bit lucky. Aeryn, could you?"

"I'm right on it," Aeryn announced, already turning away from everyone and hurrying to find one of the medic kits Fenn was waiting on.

"What happened to the others?" Wynn asked, running a hand along Sol's back.

"As if you think they survived us," Sol teased, turning back to face Dreea with a smirk.

"Well, good job for staying alive," he said, following her gaze over to the other two Sovereigns, "but I'm sure there's more of them where they came from. And killing some of their people probably isn't the best start for us on this island."

"It was self defence," Dreea pointed out. "If we didn't do anything, they' have killed us and it was either we died out there, or them, and no way in hell was I going to let them be the ones to walk away. I didn't exactly get the understanding that a friendly talk would have changed their intentions."

"I hear you," Wynn said, knowing he would have done the same thing if he was with them. "But now that they know we're out here..."

"They're going to come back for us," Kodiak spoke up, finally contributing to the conversation. Wynn glanced over at him, noting that something was different about him, but pinned it down to what happened to Sol and the fear that he might have come close to losing her again. If it wasn't for Elara standing at his side, running her hand up and down his arm to offer him a sense of comfort, he would have worried that someone had hurt him out there, too.

"And once they find out that we've killed their people, they're probably going to want some revenge," he continued.

"We should make sure our people are prepared for an attack; make sure none of us are going out of sight from the shore; make sure there's people keeping watch at night," Sol suggested.

"If we do that, then our people are just going to worry," Wynn said. "All of us can take turns keeping watch. We'll tell a few guards to take shifts if we need to, but everyone's worried enough about if we're going to be able to find food in the long-term, or clean water, or proper shelter. Telling them that there's more people around, not to mention people that have already tried to kill us, they're going to be hard to instruct when we need to."

"Wynn's right," Dreea said. "I think before we make any decisions, we need to head out there and figure out where they came from and how many more people they have."

"I'll go with you," Wynn nodded. "Kodiak, you coming?"

Kodiak seemed hesitant at the mention of his name, avoiding Wynn's gaze as he tried to think of a reason to stay behind.

"I'll go with you!" Sol spoke up, sharing a nervous glance with Dreea, both seemingly reading Kodiak's thoughts. They didn't want him to have to speak about what had happened on Neptunum with so many people crowded around.

"You're not going anywhere," Wynn said.

"I second that," Fenn chimed in.

Wynn looked back towards Kodiak, not seeming to realise that the reason he hadn't heard from him wasn't because Sol interrupted.

"He needs to talk to Elara," Dreea answered for him, suddenly shifting her tone to change the topic. "What's wrong, Wynn? Scared of being left alone with me?"

"Yeah, actually," he joked. "I have a vague memory of you threatening to show me what a 'real injury' looked like after we moved into the bunkers."

"I remember," Dreea smirked. "But I'm still not convinced that the splinter in your leg was worse than the bullet lodged in my shoulder."

"I had part of a tree sticking out of my thigh!"

"Keep trying to argue with me and you'll have something much worse."

Everyone laughed at their playful bickering, continuing to hear it as Wynn and Dreea disappeared into the forest they had returned from minutes ago, hoping that they'd turn up in a few hours with enough information about the other clan to know how to protect themselves.

As Chessca and Atlantis resumed Wynn's place by Sol's side, Elara - who was still subconsciously soothing Kodiak - carefully led him away from the group.

"Dreea said you wanted to talk to me?" She asked, leading him right towards the water's edge where their feet gradually began to sink into the soft sand.

"She just said that because she knows I didn't feel like going back out there today. And you know Wynn: he can be pretty persistent sometimes."

"I also know you," she said, suddenly stopping her pace and grabbing onto both of his hands, turning him to look at her. "What's wrong? Something happened out there. Is it because River got hurt?"

"Sort of," Kodiak mumbled, glancing around partly to make sure they were out of earshot from everyone; partly in search of an escape - not wanting to open up about what he knew he had to.

"Sort of?" She dug a little deeper.

"How much do you remember from Neptunum?" Kodiak asked, inhaling a deep breath after he spoke. "I mean, from after, you know... Do you remember the moment you came back? Do you remember anything in between that and when you woke up here, on this island?"

"Mostly," Elara answered. "I think I can recall most of it. I can remember blacking out once I knew we were out of Neptunum and you had me on the vessel ship. I have a vague vision of Quill helping me on."

Kodiak sighed, almost upset by her answer. "You talked to me when I was carrying you."

Elara paused for a moment, trying to understand what had been so important that she couldn't have waited to ask until after they were safe. "I asked if Izzy was okay."

"Yeah," Kodiak nodded. "You also told me 'gun' and managed to warn me that Leander - one of the guards - was almost ready to shoot at us."

"I did..." Elara said, slowly starting to figure out where it was leading. "He shot the guy that was with us."

"Xander's dad-"

"Xander," Elara jumped his words, suddenly remembering. Suddenly understanding. "Something exploded. Part of the ceiling fell down."

"It trapped him," Kodiak uttered. "I went over to him and... There was no way he could have survived. He was my friend."

"I know," Elara promised him. She took one hand away from his, moving up to rest on the side of his face, trying to shift his wandering eyes to focus on her.

"He asked me to-"

"I know," she told him again, soothing her thumb under his eye, catching the few tears that managed to spill. "And you did the right thing."

"Did I?" He asked, desperate for Elara to keep telling him what he wanted to hear; for her to keep finding ways to prove to him that he deserved the love she kept trying to give to him.

"Yes," Elara was adamant. "He didn't suffer; he wasn't left to his misery or his thoughts when you carried me away; he went quick and he didn't ever have to know what happened to his father," she said. "I know I went quick... Those few seconds alone were enough for me to be consumed in this heartache that I'd never get to see you again, or Izzy, or my brothers. In fact, I almost wish it could have killed me a little bit faster," she confessed. "So I know - I know - that you did the right thing for Xander; the kindest thing you could have done. And he would grateful to you because of it."

"When I've killed people before, it was always to protect someone; myself, you, my people," he said. "But I've never hurt someone I cared about. I feel a little bit ruined because of it. Like I know none of the others would have done it."

"I bet River wished she could have done something when Noah died," Elara said. "Or changed something about it. She named him a Basilisk right before he died, when he was unconscious. Who knows if he felt any peace before he left? And I know when Lyra died, Bas and Wynn were beating themselves up for months afterwards because they hadn't been able to forgive her in time. I don't think she deserved it, but I know deep down their forgiveness would have meant everything to her," she recalled. "If she knew they weren't just saying it because they knew she wasn't going to survive. Point is, everyone wishes they could go back and be kinder to someone; say 'I love you' while they'd still listen; tell someone that they changed their life; that they forgive them; that some part of the world is a little bit better because of them. We all want to be able to go back and stop ourselves from hurting the person we loved and hurt deeply, but sometimes we don't get the chance; the person shuts us out and we can't show them that we've grown, or that we've made ourselves better, or that we're sorry. That we're more sorry that anything we've ever been. But sometimes," she said. "Sometimes love just hurts anyway and our best intentions, the things we do to try and protect someone - they hurt."

Kodiak nodded, swallowing down a mouthful of regret, unable to fathom than anything in the world existed other than Elara and his remorse which slowly, and impossibly, felt like it was fading a little.

"I'm sorry that the love you had for him couldn't save him, but it sure as hell saved me. So don't you let yourself believe that any part of you is ruined or could ever ruin someone, because of love. Because although it can hurt us more than anything, I know it's also the only thing that ever really matters in the end. I realised that when you wrapped me in your arms on that ship that night, and Xander knew it when he asked you to do something he probably worried you wouldn't be able to do, but you did it anyway because you loved him enough to save him from the end he had coming. I'm not the luckiest girl in the world because I get to love you; I'm the luckiest girl because you love me. You love me." 

One // Part Six
But sometimes... Sometimes love just hurts anyway and our best intentions, the things we do to try and protect someone, they hurt.

That whole speech from Elara is so important to me. I love how she references their friends wishing they could go back and change something about how they lost someone - how they wish they could go back and take some of their pain away before they died, and that it's all Kodiak did for Xander. I've also said this before, and I'll say it again: a lot of what I write turns out to be about my best friend I lost a couple of years ago. This one hit home. I'm so lucky to have characters like Kodiak and Elara for me to be able to voice these emotions through and feel as though someone understands half the mess my heart is in.

Also, this entire chapter is not from the notes. I don't know where it came from. Sol was never supposed to be hurt; Wynn and Dreea aren't supposed to be going alone in their search for the other clan; Kodiak and Elara's conversation was completely fabricated on the spot. I mean, this might create problems for me as I try to reconstruct the next chapter, lol, but I literally am not kidding when I say these characters write themselves. I was paying attention to myself as I was writing this and I realised I didn't really pause and think before I started writing the next line or the next part of the dialogue because the characters are literally just existing in my head and I'm just making a note of everything I see and hear. It's quite interesting, haha.

Hope you like this! I've literally published a chapter every day since this book started (and have still neglected to finish plotting Episodes Six and Seven because of that) so hopefully this book is going to be an easy one to write (although I kind of wish it would slow down because S10 is going to be the last one for a while until I come back in a few years and rewrite editions from other character's perspectives or prequels or spin offs (I have a vague one for Izzy in my mind  (I didn't say that))).

By the way, I don't think I mentioned it, but I just wanted to point out that this Episode is called 'Horizons' because of the scene where Kodiak proposed and he had Elara on the deck and - before she was shot, it was actually a really happy scene, okay!?- he pointed out at the horizon to the land they are currently on and told her it was going to be her new home and they were filled with so much hope and love because they were both alive and they came back to each other and he was about to ask her to marry him and it was just a good time all around. Anyway, it's called horizons because they've reached the future Kodiak promised her and the rest of this season will reveal what that means for them.

You've honestly heard enough from me today. I also need to go to bed.
Hope you enjoy!

01/02/21.