Episode Six, Part 6:
Love is Just a Way to Die

I could die tomorrow, you'd be close behind.

Athena was quiet as she approached the medical room where Elara was kept. She didn't even have to peer inside the small window on the door to know that Kodiak was inside and she had no doubt that he had spent every passing second by her side.

As she closed the door behind her, she gazed over Kodiak, feeling an agonising guilt consume her. She really hadn't meant to hurt someone so important to him. She had only tried to protect him from what looked to be the prisoners taking advantage of him. She just wished there was a way to get it through to him, but she knew that no matter how many times she tried to tell him, he'd never believe her.

She inhaled a deep breath and made her way over to his side, delicately resting her hand on his shoulder as she gave him a small shake, luring him back into consciousness.

Kodiak mumbled something incoherent - perhaps believing that everything his heart was telling him was the remains of a bad dream, but as he pulled his heavy eyes open, Elara was still lying right in front of him, still dead.

As he looked up to see who had woken him, he flinched away from Athena's hand, glaring at her with as much rage as his exhausted self could muster.

"What are you doing here?" He spat, somewhat nervous as he pondered how long she had been hovering over him and Elara.

"We're going to try the combination on her in a few minutes," she said. "They're just getting it prepared at the moment, but the procedure should begin soon, if you're ready."

"Right now? You really think you've figured out the combination, huh? Because if it doesn't work-"

"I really believe in this, Ammon," Athena said, trying not to take his hatred towards her too personally, even though she knew she deserved it. "Whether we get it right today or not, I know it'll work someday. But I want that moment to be now."

Kodiak clenched his jaw, not knowing what to say to her. He had never felt such a wave of tremendous anger for someone before - not even for Rhea and Kane - but he knew that he still had to cooperate with Athena for any possibility of bringing Elara back.

"She has family on the ship," Kodiak announced, avoiding Athena's eyes for fear of rejection. "They should be here for this."

"Ammon-"

"In case it doesn't work," his voice was dominant and as he spoke, his grip on Elara's hand tightened, possibly even to the extent that it would have hurt her if she was alive. "Come on, Athena," he growled. "You've done the hard part already. You've killed her. At least let her family be here for when she wakes up, or... Or if they need to say goodbye. You've taken her life already, don't take her goodbyes, as well."

Athena nodded, glad that Kodiak wasn't looking at her because she could barely lift her gaze from the floor. "Okay. Do you know who, or how many? The only condition I have is that the room isn't too crowded for the doctors."

"I-I think she has brothers," Kodiak said, hating that he still had to keep up his act of not knowing anyone too well. "Two of them are on the ship."

"That's right, I think I remember," Athena said. "The trials don't work on one of them..."

"Sounds about right," Kodiak mumbled, wondering if his decision was once again putting Wynn's life in jeopardy. "You can send Xander or someone to get them. I'm not leaving her side."

////////

The door to Wynn and Quill's cell opened and despite delayed reactions, they eventually looked up to see a guard entering their room. Wynn shared a worried glance with his brother, wondering what could possibly be about to happen and why they couldn't just be left alone to grieve for the loss of their sister.

It had been all they had done since they were taken back several hours ago; heaving, wailing, sobbing, collapsing... Heaving, wailing, sobbing, collapsing... And the cycle continued with no end in sight.

"What the hell is it now?" Wynn snapped, though his voice had no power in it. He remained sitting on his bed in the corner of the room beside Quill, neither one making any attempt to move.

"It's me, Xander," he informed them as he gestured to his name tag, hoping they would recognise him from earlier occasions with Kodiak.

"T-they're going to try the combination on your sister; try bringing her back. Ammon- I mean, Kodiak, has requested for you to be there."

"They can really bring her back?" Quill asked, his voice drenched in an impossible hope.

Wynn felt the remains of his heart shatter once again at his words, unable to process what he would be like if Neptunum's attempts at reviving Elara didn't work; if she really had died in vain and there was nothing anyone could do to change it.

"I really hope so," Xander answered, not knowing what else to say.

Wynn sighed, not having a lot else to lose, and tapped Quill on his shoulder, encouraging him to follow. "Come on," he murmured, "now or never."

Quill gulped down his nausea and nodded at Wynn, bravely following his lead out of the cell and along the somewhat familiar hallways, reciting some sort of prayer over and over in his head.

Eventually, they reached the room where Kodiak and Elara were waiting for them and as Wynn saw Athena standing patiently beside his sister, it took every ounce of self-control to not grab one of the various scalpels laid out on a metal throat and use it to slit her throat.

"If you need a few moments alone with her, Ammon and the rest of us can step outside-"

Wynn chewed on his lip and glanced over at Kodiak, waiting to see if he had any instruction for him, but he shrugged his way, letting him know it was his decision.

"No. I just want to hurry this up and get our sister to wake up again," Wynn growled, brushing past Athena and moving to Elara's bedside, standing on one side of Kodiak as Quill moved to the other.

"Our doctors have prepped her already," Athena said, beckoning for them to appear and begin the procedure. "They just need to remove the ventilator and inject the combination into her brain stem via a microscopic needle. Once that's done, she should respond to compressions and defibrillation."

Wynn nodded his approval for the doctors to begin removing the ventilator from Elara. It was an insufferable sight to see to long tube pulled out from her throat and how afterwards, she fell completely still on the bed reminding everyone once again that she was well and truly dead.

He almost didn't want to face the next few moments that were approaching; didn't want to be in the same room as her in case the vision of her lifeless face became permanently stained in the back of his mind, but he had to. As he took a deep breath in, he walked over to stand with Quill, squeezing onto his shoulder for his own relief, as if to remind him that even if the rest of the world was caving in on him, he still had his brother.

"The injection's gone in. Defibrillator is set," one of the doctors announced to his colleague, moving closer to Elara with two pads and placing one on her upper chest and the other underneath her heart.

Kodiak let go of Elara's hand, grabbing onto Wynn and Quill and pushing them away from the bed, making sure they weren't at risk of getting shocked. The three of them stood huddled together, simultaneously holding their breaths as the electrodes were charged and fired against Elara, causing her body to momentarily bolt up from the bed. As she fell back down, still unresponsive, a second doctor began giving compressions against her chest, working reverently to get her breathing on her own.

"Come on, Ell. Wake up," Quill whispered under his breath, holding tight to his own hands as they began shaking out of control. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stand there and watch with his faith already beginning to fade.

"Charge," one of the doctors repeated, once again using the defibrillator to shock Elara. She lifted up again, hitting the bed underneath her, not responding.

"Try again," Kodiak said, beginning to see the signs of defeat settling on the doctors' faces.

"Ammon-"

"Try again!" There was a desperation in his voice that managed to shake the entire room; swallowing everyone up in his misery; in his realisation that the combination hadn't worked. Elara was still dead and there was no indication that it was ever going to change.

Athena nodded her approval to the doctors, encouraging them to continue their attempts at reviving Elara, all the while trying to hide her disappointment in the acceptance that she had failed once again.

"Ammon, I wish I didn't have to be telling you this, but you need to prepare yourself for the fact that this isn't working-"

"Then keep trying until it does!" Kodiak cut her off. "We'll speed up the tests on the harvest; put me through the trials, for all I care, but we are not giving up on her. I am not losing her. Not like this."

"Ammon..." Athena sighed, her selfish breath carrying the room to silence. Kodiak looked behind her, as did Wynn and Quill, realising that the doctors had moved away from Elara and were already beginning to pack up their equipment.

"I'm so sorry for what I did. I won't let her death be in vain. We'll use it to advance the next round of the combination-"

"Put her ventilator back on her," Kodiak instructed. "We'll keep her body alive until then, and if it still doesn't work, we'll do the same thing."

"We can't keep taking her on and off of the ventilator," Athena explained. "It's killing her and reviving her body all over again, and she's been through enough trauma; her body's not going to take much more of it."

"We have to-"

"And you need to think about her. Is this really fair on her? Would she want to be put through all of this? Can she take it?" Athena pointed out. "We don't know what someone will be like when the combination works and we bring someone back from clinical brain death. For all we know, perhaps the kindest thing you could do right now is let her go. Is tell her your goodbyes."

Wynn heaved through the nausea circulating in his stomach; fighting to breathe against the desire for the world to swallow him whole. His sister was dead. He knew it already; he knew it the moment he first saw Kodiak meet him out in the hallway, but it was somehow more true in this moment. She was dead and the world had given up on her.

He looked over at Kodiak, seeing the ring catch the light on the ceiling as his hands formed into fists bunched up in his hair, and Quill... Quill was doubled over in front of Elara, crying into her hand, murmuring out the most regretful apologies he could think of.

Although it was impossible to beat the agony of seeing Elara cold and lifeless in front of him, seeing his little brother fall into the darkest misery in existence was close behind. In fact, it was so close that Wynn knew there was only one thing he needed to do.

He stepped forward to Quill, leaning down so he knew he could hear him and waited until Quill looked up.

"I love you," he told him. "And I love Elara. And that's why I have to do this. I hope you'll forgive me one day."

"W-what?" Quill muttered, wiping at his eyes in an attempt to see clearer. "Wynn? What are you talking about?"

Wynn bit back to urge to answer Quill and turned his attention over to Athena, unable to block out the sight of Kodiak shifting towards him, watching on in a horror and what he refused to believe was happening.

"I need you to put me through the trials until you get the combination for my sister."

Athena let out a sharp breath, wondering why they were all making Elara's loss harder on themselves. "The trials don't work on you-"

"I have an implant in my head. It's stopping the signals from getting through. If you activate it, you can use it to find the combination."

"No!" Kodiak yelled out, not certain if he was blowing his cover, but not caring about an awful lot anymore.

"He's lying!" Quill chimed in, letting go of Elara's hand and hurrying to get to his brother, but one of the guards from the far wall raced over and restrained him.

Athena stared at Wynn in careful consideration, trying to determine if it was just another one of his tricks, but she knew in her heart that it was an astonishing act of sacrifice and nothing else.

"Put the girl back on the ventilator," Athena said over her shoulder, unable to break eye contact from the boy in front of her. "Take the other boy to his cell and prep the room for the trials. You," she said to Wynn, "follow me." 

Six // Part Six
I hope you'll forgive me one day.

This was so sad! The trials didn't work on Elara and she's still dead and now Wynn has just sacrificed himself over which puts his own life on the line? I'd say I'm surprised, but it's Wynn we're talking about. He loves his siblings more than anything and love is just a way to die.

Btw, the lyric up top is from 'Close Behind' by Noah Kahan and I highly recommend you listen to that song (and all of his songs) as it's very much descriptive of the Bell siblings and their relationship with each other!

One episode left (and 16,000 words left to 100K)! I can't wait for you to see what's coming!

Enjoy the double-update!

06/12/20.