Episode Seven, Part 5:
Life Support

Sometimes, walking out is the one thing that 
will find you the right thing. And you know  
in your soul when it's time to go. So 
then you go. You just go. 

"We didn't make it this far to only make it this far," Sol whispered to herself, trying to wrap her mind around what was happening. She was standing a few feet away from Wynn's bedside, watching as Fenn and Aeryn hurried to stabilise him, frantically searching the equipment in the room for anything that could help them keep him alive. They'd saved him before like when he was sick with the virus Blood Riders sent to their camp; when Aeryn gave him the transfusion to make him a Pureblood to become viable for Commander of The City of Targo; when he was evacuated from the Bunker and their bus was intercepted. They had saved him before and they had to do it again now. It wasn't any different; he was scared all those other times and he had survived it. He'd survive this, too.

She swallowed back her doubt and moved over to him, trying not to get in the way of Aeryn who was working reverently to get kind of response from Wynn; something to say his body was responding to all their attempts to keep him breathing.

"Wynn?" Sol murmured, delicately taking his face in her hands. She had never been one for softness until she met him, and she didn't want him to give her a reason to lose that part of her.

"Wynn, I'll hate you if you die right now. You know that, right?"

"Riv..." Aeryn mumbled beside her, her tone empathetic as if she could believe it was true, but Sol knew what she was trying to die: he really could be dying. He could hear you and it could end up being the last thing you say to him. Be careful.

"No," Sol shook her head. "He thinks he has the choice to give up? He doesn't. That's not down to him."

"I-I can't get his heart to-" Fenn interrupted, suddenly drawing their attention over to them. He was perched on top of the bed, one leg over Wynn as he started compressions on his chest, a horrified expression consuming his features as he understood that everything he was trying was failing to succeed. "I can't get him to fight."

Sol felt her chest tighten at his confession as if she was the one who was suddenly not breathing. She turned her gaze down to Wynn, glaring furiously, hoping it would burn through his skin.

"You are a Sovereign," she said. "And you are still a brother. And you are the man I love. I'm not losing you. Not you. Not again. So come on! Wake up! Come back to me because that's what you and I do: we come back to each other."

There was resounding beep from one of the monitors beside the bed and with wide eyes, Sol looked over at Aeryn to figure out what it was.

"We've got a pulse," she exhaled, the faintest echo of hope in her voice. "But it's enough. Fenn, whatever you do, don't stop."

"I wasn't planning on it," Ares replied. "I'm going to save him. I couldn't save Ares, but I'm gonna save Wynn. I'm gonna save him."

////////

Wynn took a gasp for breath, feeling like it was the deepest gulp of air to reach his lungs in a long time. He stretched out his fingers at his sides, feeling his joints crack inside his skin as if they had been worn down by a distant, already-forgotten ache.

"Wynn?"

He turned around, not having heard enough of a voice to predict who it was, but he was relieved to see his sister hovering behind him, seeming just as bewildered as he was that they were somehow together.

"What the hell, Elara?" He whispered in an out-breath, wasting no time in wrapping his arms around her, lifting her slightly off of the ground. "I thought I lost you forever. But you're okay-"

"I-I don't think I am..." She told him, seeming indifferent to his hug as if it was the last thing she needed in that moment. She pulled herself away, beginning to pace around, and the heavy furrow of her brows indicated how lost in thought she was.

"No, everything's okay," Wynn shook his head. "Look at you, you're alive."

"It's just us, Wynn," she said, suddenly halting her movements and staring straight at him. "I mean, look at where we are. Something's wrong."

Wynn gave a reluctant glance to his side, finally confirming with himself what he knew all along. "We're in the Bunker."

"Yeah, the Bunker. And it's just like it was the day we left, not when we moved in the second time. It's not how we left it, that's what I'm trying to say."

"I don't know what that means," Wynn shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me right now. Did you not hear me a second ago? I thought I lost you forever. Do you have any idea how it feels to see you right now? How it felt when I found out that you were-"

"I know exactly how it felt; we've already been there before, remember?" She cut him off. "With-"

This time, she cut herself off, freezing in place as she glanced at the door to her side, looking to see who had appeared.

"Ares..."

Before Wynn could even process the sight of their brother standing in front of him, Elara had already ran over and embraced him just as Wynn had done to her moments ago.

"I love you so much," she mumbled, barely audible from how she buried herself so tightly against him. "You hear me, Ares? You hear me!?"

She pulled away and looked to Wynn as if to ask if he was seeing him too; wiping the burning, joyous tears from her face.

"Ares..." Wynn said his name, feeling his face grow heavy with misery and at the same time, longing. He burst into action, copying Elara and throwing his arms around him, melting a little when he noticed that Ares felt warm against him; felt like he was alive.

"I've missed you so damn much. So, so damn much. Like I've never missed anyone before. But it's okay. We're together again-"

Before Wynn could finish his sentence, he felt his brother shove him backwards and take a step away. It wasn't particularly harsh, but it was cold and enough for Wynn to know that something was wrong.

"Ares-"

"What the hell are you doing here, Wynn?"

Wynn let out a sharp breath, scrunching up his face and tilting his head a little. "What do you mean?" He asked. "I-I don't understand what's wrong. I haven't seen you in y-"

"Cut it out," Ares rolled his eyes and turned his head away, afraid that he couldn't keep his frustration reigned in. "You're not supposed to be here. Either of you," he made a point of looking to Elara, letting her know that his lack of relief extended to her as well.

"You know what this means, right?" He searched. "You guys being here? You're dead," there was an agitated smile that met his face and a laugh - not quite amused, but disappointed. "You're both dead."

"Ares, you don't know what it's been like without you."

"That's no excuse," he interrupted. "You just gave up. Both of you. You didn't even try to stay alive."

"I tried," Elara spoke up, struggling to project her voice through the quivering of her lip. "Well, I wanted to stay alive," she corrected herself. "I hadn't, I'll admit that, but in that moment; that night, it was the first time in a long time that I really wanted to live... But the people came out of nowhere and by the time I realised what had happened, I was already on the ground feeling blood rise up my throat and my heart just... Stop. I didn't get any time to fight, Ares. I didn't even get to say anything."

"I know," Ares sighed, screwing his eyes shut in discomfort, struggling to listen to Elara recall what had happened to her. Despite Elara's previous disregard for her own safety, he knew that when the moment came, she didn't even have a choice. "But Wynn..." He shifted his attention.

"If I had that chance, I would have taken it. If I'd had the chance to survive, I'd still be with you guys right now and I'd still be choosing it, no matter how hard it gets, because I know that there are people who need you. You still have that choice, Wynn. You can still fight."

"...I don't want to."

Ares rolled his eyes, unable to remember a time he had even been so frustrated with Wynn before. "Do you even remember the last thing I said to you?"

Wynn nodded. "You-"

"I told you to look after them both," he answered his own question. "So tell me why you're both here. Tell me why you gave up."

"Ares, I was locked in a cell when those people killed Elara," he panicked, desperate for them both to realise that her death had been out of his hands. "I couldn't have protected her. That's not my fault. Please don't tell me it was my fault. It was no one's-"

"You went through the mind trials; you have Athena the combination to save Ell, and you still chose to give up. That's what I'm getting at," he said. 

"You went through the trials?" Elara exclaimed, butting in the conversation in sheer horror. "You voluntarily put yourself through the trials, even after you saw what the visions did to me when dad was around?"

"I was trying to save you."

"I don't say this lightly, Wynn, but you're really very stupid sometimes."

Wynn rolled his eyes, barely acknowledging her bickering and reminding himself that he knew it was the right thing to have done - to save his sister - even if it got him killed. 

"What has it all been for if they lose you in the end? Why protect them if you're just going to quit on yourself? And Ell," Ares continued, looking back at Elara, softening his anger when he saw how afraid she was. "There's no way in hell you're dying now," he said. "I don't care what you want to protest about how the last few months have been; there are people who need you. Kodiak, Izzy, Q-"

"I needed you and you still died."

Ares dropped his head, hit with the guilt of dying all over again, unable to look up at her and see her so shattered over his absence, even after all the time that had passed. Wynn did the same, biting on his tongue to distract his heart from the pain that was forcing warm tears to swell in his eyes.

"And you don't know what's it's like to lose a brother. To lose you."

"No, but Quill does!" Ares exploded, finally snapping under the pressure. Wynn and Elara couldn't be dead. They couldn't give up. They couldn't. "And he's back there thinking he's lost me, his little sister, and now his older brother, too - by his own choice. I told you to to look after them Wynn! To look after Quill! I told you to stay together. You have to go back. I won't forgive you-"

"...For dying?" Wynn choked, overcome with a desperation to empty the nausea in his stomach. How could Ares say that? How could he hate him for wanting a 'out' of his tragic life?

"For leaving Quill."

"You think I want to do this to him?" Wynn asked. "After everything we just went through to keep him with us, you think I want to leave him? I don't, but I sure as hell don't want anything to happen to him either; to have him wound up dead, like us. I know Sol and Kodiak and Dreea will look after him. He-"

"He doesn't want them, he wants us. And he might not be able to get me back, but he's getting you because you're going back. You're going to fight. You're going to live."

"Ares, just slow down for a moment," Elara spoke up. "It's not that easy."

"It is! Athena has the combination and any minute now, she's going to try and wake you up. And right now, Fenn is doing everything he can to get your heart to start working," he looked to Wynn. "And it's not your time and I don't need you here. So go. You know you gotta go."

"I'm so afraid," she cried. "All the time."

"Good," Ares replied, shooting a mournful smile her way. "You should be. It means you can be brave; it means you still have something to lose."

"Ares..."

"You've survived. That's who you are to me: a survivor, and if you need to be reminded of that, there's half a dozen people here who will tell you the same, but I don't think that's what you're waiting on, is it?" a sudden voice echoed in the room, not belonging to either Wynn or Ares.

"What is that?" She asked, struggling to figure out, overwhelmed by a panic that circled around her heart.

"Just listen," Ares said, drifting his eyes over to the air vent at the top of the room, indicating that the sound was coming from there.

"What I'm really trying to tell you is... I understand. If you have to go, if you have to leave me too, it's okay."

"That's Quill," Wynn whispered, wiping at the warmth under his eyes, but it did nothing to conceal the endless stream of tears pouring from his eyes.

"Yeah, and he's been sitting with Ell, telling her that it's okay if she dies because he thinks that's what you need to hear. So you won't think he'll hate you."

Elara heaved for a breath, forcing herself to look over at Wynn. Somehow, their brother giving her permission to die - in the face of everything he had already lost - was exactly what she needed to hear. Quill loved her so much that he would let her go if he thought that was what she needed, even though they both knew it would kill him twice as badly if he had to live without her, too.

"We have to go back..." She said to Wynn, already knowing that he was on the same page as her.

"No one should have to say that to someone they love after what he's lost," Ares told them. "You think dying is what you want, but you don't: you want your pain to stop and if you end it here, that pain only goes to someone else. To Quill, Izzy, Kodiak, River... Well, I'm not going to let that happen. Stay alive for him. This is the last thing I asked from you when I alive and I'm here, now, asking you the same, damn thing. Stay alive for him." 

Wynn nodded, walking over to Elara and trying to figure out how to fight; how to open his eyes and return to the world of people they loved that were waiting for him. 

"Come on," he said, taking her hand. "Our brother's waiting for us." 

"Wynn?" Ares interrupted, a slight urgency to his voice. Relief seemed to wash over his face when he gained his attention. 

"I do know how much you miss me, by the way," he said. "I feel it all the time. I know." 

Wynn braved a smile for Ares, nodding over at him, feeling something warm cloud his chest. He hadn't felt it before so it was hard to put a name to it, but he would have called it some kind of closure. 

"Goodbye, Ares," he whispered. "See you one day." 

Seven // Part Five
I needed you and you still died.

Yeah, I didn't like this chapter. I hate to say it, I hope I don't sound ridiculous, I don't know who this chapter is. I mean, I could be reading this book, I wouldn't know a thing. Sorry to this chapter. 

BUT ARES IN PURGATORY WITH WYNN AND ELARA. GAHHHH, I MISSED HIM SO BAD. I JUST WISH QUILL GOT TO EXPERIENCE HIM AGAIN LIKE ELARA HAS IN HER VISIONS AND QUILL HAS DURING THIS CHAPTER WHEN HIS HEART STOPPED.

TWO MORE CHAPTERS LEFT!!

Also, 'some kind of closure. "Goodbye Ares."'

03/01/21.