Episode Six, Part 6:
Do This For Me

Can I whisper it back? 
What a waste to be so alone. 

Sol approached the medic tent, careful not to make too much noise in case Wynn was asleep, but the nearer she moved, the clearer it became that he was awake. 

Hearing his voice, Sol hurried to the entrance, detecting a sense of panic in what he was saying. When she finally saw them, she felt at a loss for words, not sure what was happening. Wynn and Aeryn were both standing beside the bed, a few feet apart, looking like they were in the middle of a confrontation. 

It didn't make sense: Aeryn was the least likely of all people to get in an argument with anyone, especially Wynn - who had collapsed in front of her the last time she saw him. 

"Everything okay?" She called out hesitantly, not moving from her position. 

Wynn seemed startled by her presence, but he made his way over nonetheless, Aeryn following at his side. 

"Yeah, I feel a lot better," he assured her. "I'm sorry for what happened in the Quarters." 

Sol softened, momentarily forgetting her concern at what she had just witnessed. 

"You shouldn't apologise for that," she told him, then, looking over at Aeryn for her verdict. "Is he alright? Shouldn't he be lying down?" 

"Uh, no, he's fine," Aeryn stuttered, not even paying attention to the words she used. 

Being told that Wynn was 'fine' didn't ease any of the worries in the Nobel's heart. 

"I was just taking him to the Quarters," she continued, grabbing onto Wynn's arm and trying to pull them past Sol. "We should probably get back to that." 

"Hey, wait a sec!" Sol stopped them, trying not to overthink their hastiness. She looked at Wynn. 

"Aeryn said you had my radio?" 

Panic engulfed the boy. He looked over to Aeryn, hoping she would catch on and realise that it had something to do with everything he had already told her. 

"Uh, my bad," she mumbled, forcing a nervous smile onto her face. "Turns out it was Wynn's radio all along."

Sol frowned, unable to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach as they both walked away at the first chance. She turned around to see if they really were headed towards the Quarters, beginning to grow suspicious when Wynn didn't turn over his shoulder to glance at her. He always looked back, Sol said to herself. 

Knowing in her heart that something wasn't right, Sol began to walk after them, only making it a few steps before she was interrupted. 

"Hey, River?" 

She looked over, seeing Kodiak jogging to catch up to her, suddenly torn. She wanted to know what Wynn was up to, but she was even more desperate for Kodiak to speak to her again, and she worried that if she turned him down now, it would only prolong his reluctance to forgive her. 

She smiled over at him a little, afraid that he wasn't here in a bid to make things right, but his words were quick to offer her hope. 

"Fancy a walk?" He asked, something about his voice telling her that he was longing for her company just as much as she was for his. 

"Sure," Sol breathed, following his lead as the aimlessly circled around camp. She glanced behind her once more in search for Wynn, but wherever he had gone, it was out of sight. 

"So, Elara kind of told me off," he chuckled, unable to curb the fondness that took over his entire face just at the mention of her name. He was so smitten. 

"Oh yeah?" Sol asked, still careful around him. 

"To put it simply, she said she wouldn't talk to me until I spoke to you." 

Sol retreated into herself a little. Was he only here on Elara's accord? 

"But, to make it clear, I came here because I wanted to, not because of an ultimatum," he said, breaking away the fear in Sol's chest. 

"I hate fighting with you, Riv." He breathed the words out, suddenly coming to a stop and facing her completely. 

She stopped as well, beady-eyes gazing up at him, watered over in tears. 

"I've been such a jerk to you. You saved her life, and I should have been thanking you for that, but I didn't, and I'm sorry. I want you to know that what you did for me, for her - I can never tell you how much that means." 

"It's okay," Sol murmured. "I know what it means." 

Kodiak frowned sympathetically, hit with a wave of guilt that he hadn't considered before. He'd spent 20 minutes - at most, in between being unconscious and waking up at the Quarters - thinking that Elara was dead. But Sol had actually lost people; Noah, Jonas, and the weight of MaReya, Fabian and Ares' death which he knew she would be holding close to her heart - because they were Wynn's family. 

Overwhelmed after everything that had happened, Kodiak stepped closer to Sol and wrapped her in his arms. She exhaled against him, joining her hands together behind his back. 

"For the record, I could never live without you, either," he mumbled into her, squeezing extra tight for good measure. "You're my best friend, my family, and I love you." 

"I love you, too," Sol whispered against him, feeling his forgiveness come at the perfect time. After a few more moments together, she pulled away, slowly picking up the pace again and continuing to walk by his side. 

But Kodiak could sense that something was wrong. Something that had nothing to do with what they had been talking about. 

"You alright, Riv? You're being quiet," he said. "Where's those smart remarks of yours?" He nudged his arm against hers, trying to get her to smile, but it wasn't working. 

"Riv..." 

"I'm-" She cut herself off, refusing to say that she was fine. "I'm... I don't know," she sighed, nothing more than honest with him. She didn't know what she was feeling, and she couldn't even try to put it into words. 

"You're worried about Wynn, aren't you?" 

Sol looked over, chewing on her bottom lip, realising that he was right. 

"He's fine, right? I saw him with Aeryn on the way over here?" 

Sol folded her arms, holding herself close together. "I don't know. I can't figure him out at the moment." 

Kodiak's eyes lingered on her for a few moments, trying to have a guess at what she was thinking. He'd known her his entire life that by now it was second nature to look over and know what she was feeling. But he just wasn't sure if now was the right time to say what he had been wanting to bring up for a while now... 

"What?" Sol asked, seeing the deliberation on his face. 

The boy sighed, feeling like he had no other choice but to answer. "I heard what Dreea said to you the other day in the Quarters. You know, after your disagreement when you guys were trying to come up with our strategy against Targo, and Dreea kicked me out of the room," he laughed a little, but he lowered his voice, becoming serious when he got to the point. "I think she's right."

"About?" Sol pretended that she couldn't recall the conversation, but she could. Despite everything that had happened in the days since, it had barely left her mind. 

"She said that you lead from the heart. That at the end of the day, it all comes down to one person for you." 

"Not you as well," Sol looked away bashfully. She was nervous. The thought of confronting her feelings for Wynn was right at the top of the list of everything that was smothering her, including the fact that Targo were likely to strike again.

Kodiak couldn't help but smile, knowing she wasn't discrediting what he had said. But it was subtle; faint and tender, almost hidden by the low light of early morning.  

"I didn't even have to say his name," he teased softly yet hoped that she would pay attention to what he was saying. "You should tell him how you feel."

"And what do you think that is exactly?" Sol rolled her eyes playfully, pretending that it wasn't a big deal and that she didn't feel her throat tighten, or the air suddenly becoming more difficult to breathe in. 

"No point in denying now," he murmured. "I think everyone's figured it out already. Even you."

Sol hurried to look away, feeling hot. She hadn't expected the conversation to steer this way, or for him to keep talking when he had reached a certain point. 

"He just lost his brother and two other people in his family. We've both lost people. Besides, Targo are wanting to kill all of us, in case you haven't heard... Now isn't exactly the time to try and complicate things," she said, "or give him a reason to... To pull away from me. To risk what we have already. I don't what I'd do if I ruined things between us." 

"I think now is exactly the right time," Kodiak stated. "Come on, Riv. You and I have both seen how quickly we can lose someone. Could you live with yourself if the same thing that happened to Noah, happened to Wynn?"

"Leave Noah out of this." Panic returned to her heart, not ready to talk about losing him. She thought she was getting better, but then she lost Jonas as well, and she bled just fearing what he would say to her if he was around.

"It's different. He's gone." She said. 

"It's not different. And this isn't new, Riv," he continued. "Even when Noah was alive, I could see how much Wynn meant to you. How you wanted him-"

"Enough, Kodiak!" She cut him off, not sure if she wanted him to finish his sentence or not. She didn't ever want what happened to Noah to be compared to Wynn. She didn't want to imagine that. 

Sol was right when she had said that it was different. 

"He's my best friend." She whispered. 

"Elara's mine," Kodiak smiled back knowingly, suggesting that his feelings for his girlfriend were the same feelings that Sol was trying to run from. 

"Kodi-"

"Okay, okay," he threw his hands up. "I'll quit. Just don't wait until it's too late..."

///// 

Sol needed an escape from herself and went in search for the one person she didn't have any history with: Atlantis. 

It was also an excuse to check in on her again, to spend more time with - because she had meant it when she said that she wanted the rest of her life with her sister. 

The tent was noticeably empty as Sol stepped inside; Zara's bed had been made a little neater, and there was a pile of clothes folded at the foot, resting just above the blanket. It seemed that Atlantis had finally braved the courage to go through what little of possessions her mother had in her short time at Basilisk. 

"Who is the most important person in the world to you..." Atlantis murmured, staring straight across at her mother's bed from where she sat on her own. Sol knew it was a rhetorical question, or that there was more to come, so she didn't say anything. She perched herself down next to her sister, joining her in looking ahead. 

"And could you handle losing them?" 

Sol felt a yearning in her bones - and then, as if a part had splintered off, she felt her entire body twinge with discomfort. "No. No, I couldn't lose him..." 

Atlantis sighed, pulling her gaze off of the bed and looking down at her feet. 

"The other day, you said I was your sister. Do you mean that? Forever?" 

The Sovereign couldn't help but smile at her words. She was intrigued by how differently they spoke, noticing that Atlantis seemed to have an innocent vocabulary, childlike, almost. What she said was always soft, even when the world wasn't. 

Sol didn't answer straight away. She pulled up something that was in her hand, unintentionally hidden from Atlantis until that moment. 

It was the photo from her bunker: just the two of them in it, not their dad. 

Atlantis ran her finger over the glass, tracing the outline of the two of them. 

"I meant it," Sol assured her. "Forever." 

Six // Part Six
You're my best friend, my family, and I love you.

Was that? A confession? I guess you'll just have to wait and see...

27/04/20