Episode Seven, Part 2:
G o o d b y e

Don't think I can't feel there's something wrong. 
You've been the sweetest part of my life for so long.

Sol had laid awake for hours, trying to understand why Wynn had been lying to her, and who had called on the radio. She wanted to stay mad at him for just a little while longer, but she couldn't bring herself to. There was something inexplainable holding her back: a gut feeling. An instinct. 

But more than that, it was the look of horror upon Wynn's face which had now burned deep into her memory. It was a look full of fear as if he thought he had lost her, and she knew she needed to let him know that he never would. No matter what secret he was holding back, no matter what the consequence, they could face it together. She just had to remind him of that. 

She drifted through the Quarters in search for him, knowing that he had never gone into his room that night. There were a few candles on as well, and being so early into the morning, she could imagine that it would be anyone else still awake. After all, everyone knew that he hadn't exactly been sleeping an awful lot lately. 

In the last room at the end of the hallway, the door was ajar, and a light shone into the darkness where Sol stood. She could hear the muffled voices from inside, and as she went to enter, her feet stopped her. 

The gut feeling had returned; Sol hesitated but leaned close to the door, almost pressing her ear up against the wooden frame to listen in. 

"If you do this, there's no coming back. Once it's done-" Sol could hear Aeryn speaking, immediately noticing the unwillingness in her voice, like she was trying to persuade someone. 

"I know," Wynn answered, a voice that Sol recognised without a doubt. What were they talking about? Why did they both sound so desolate? It took all of her self control to not step inside. 

"Promise me you'll look after them," Wynn whispered. "I-I know Sol will as well; of course she will, but I can't ask." 

The mention of her name sparked a fear, yet it also confirmed what she knew to be true: that there was something Wynn didn't feel he could talk to her about. 

"I know Kodiak will be there for Elara, he'll get her through it, but I need you to be there for Quill. You've helped him so much since Ares died, and I know you'll do the same with losing me." 

The air suddenly went away, and Sol found it impossible to breathe, clutching at her chest as she tried to focus on harbouring in a breath, but she couldn't get anything in. 

Stumbling in fear, Sol couldn't help but make a lot of noise as she retreated down the hallway, hurrying to her room. Was Wynn trying to leave? Was that what was happening? Had she done something wrong to make him want to go? 

All those questions swarmed in her mind, distracting her from Wynn's voice who was calling out to her - trying to not to wake everyone else as he followed her through the Quarters having heard her right outside the door. 

"Sol!" He exclaimed, grabbing onto her shoulder and turning her around to face him. He couldn't have ever prepared his heart for what he saw. 

The Sovereign was ravaged by devastation, looking up at him with her beady-brown eyes drowned in tears, already spilling down against her cheeks. And she was holding herself - arms wrapped tightly in front of her chest as if she was trying to stop her from shaking. 

He tried to step closer, desperate to wrap her in his arms, but she hurried away as if was the last thing she wanted. 

"I was coming to apologise," she told him, wiping under her eyes, but it didn't make a difference. Her tears were endless. 

"I didn't mean to get angry at you like that. I figured that whatever it was that you were hiding, you'd eventually come and talk to me about it. Because you know I'd listen-" 

"I know you're there-" Wynn took another step forward again, pleading for her to realise that he knew he could depend on her. That there was nothing in the world he wanted more in that moment than to open his heart to her, but he couldn't. 

"I meant what I said about it being important. I was going to tell you that I-" she refrained herself, not sure if she could confess anymore Not after what she had just heard him say to Aeryn. 

"Say it..." Wynn's voice was a whisper, yet, it was the loudest thing in the room. He moved forward, water pooling in his eyes, and a mournful look taking over him. "Please... Say it now." He had never sounded so broken before. Never longed for something so bad. 

This was the last time, he told himself. The last time he would be able to hear what he knew she was trying to say. He could feel it scratching at his heart - like a part of him was trying to come how, but it was just out of reach. 

He grabbed onto her hands and pulled her close, leaning his forehead against hers. "Please, Sol." 

The Sovereign looked down at their hands, torn between her heart and her head as they both raged opposite urges inside of her. This was what she had wanted; him - holding her like that, but it didn't feel right at that moment. Her sorrow wouldn't melt away. 

"You're leaving?" 

Wynn breathed against her, feeling a collapse in his chest, a hollowing. 

She wasn't supposed to know. He was supposed to have one final night with her, and he would leave, and she wouldn't have to be with him knowing it was their last time. She could just enjoy it for what it was instead of knowing that she would never see him again. 

"No, Sol. Listen to me, I-" 

She pulled back sharply, pushing him away from her. "What were you talking about in there? What does it mean?" 

"Nothing-" 

"Stop lying to me, Wynn!" She cried. "What are you planning? Tell me! I'm ordering you to tell me, as your Sovereign, otherwise I'll-" she could force the threats out of her mouth. She could tell him that she would lock him up in the cells, keep him under constant monitoring, but Wynn would know she wouldn't mean it. 

"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I can't tell you. I don't have a choice." He knew he was getting everything wrong, that he was making it worse for both of them, but he didn't know how to fix it. He didn't know how to pull them out of the grave he seemed to be slipping into. 

"You're not leaving me..." She whimpered. There was nothing else said for a few moments, and her words lingered in the air, almost strong enough to push the two of them apart. She didn't say 'you're not leaving Basilisk', or 'you're not leaving your family', she said 'me'. 

"Okay," Wynn didn't know what else to say, he just wanted to stop seeing her in so much pain, momentarily agreeing as if he meant it, as if everything had changed because he realised how desperate Sol was, but they both knew he was lying. 

"Please just talk to me," she begged. "Whatever this is, we can deal with it together. I give you my word. But I'm not losing you." 

Wynn turned around, unable to face her for a moment. He was trying to find the strength to do what he had to do. 

"Sol," he murmured her name, hoping she would be too distracted by his words to realise that he was reaching into his pocket and retrieving a cloth - which he soaked with the tube of liquid also in his pocket. 

As he moved around to face her again, he tucked the tube deep into his pocket, hiding the cloth in his curled up fist. 

"I never want to hurt you."

"Wynn-"

He bit down on his lip, stepping closer. "You mean... So much to me, Sol. After everything you've done for me, everything we've been through...together, I know this is the right thing. I know that in time, you'll understand why I had to do it, and that you would have done the same as me." 

"What are you talking about? You're- You're scaring me, Wynn." It didn't sound like the boy she knew. The boy she loved. 

"I'm so sorry, Sol..." He opened his arms, closing the remaining distance between them and catching her off guard. Sol couldn't bring herself to pull away, not even to demand an answer, not even because she knew she was caving. She held onto him, wrapping her arms around his waist - his around her the back of her neck, cradling her head close to his chest. For all she knew, and all she was trying to understand, it felt like goodbye. 

Before she was ready to let go, Wynn was pulling away slightly, but not far enough for her hands to leave him. It was time. 

Knowing she wouldn't be able to figure out what he was doing until it was too late, Wynn remorsefully raised the cloth up to Sol's face, covering it over her mouth and nose so it was all that she breathed in. 

In a panic, Sol moved her hand over his, but by that point, she knew what was happening. Unable to fight anymore, she flickered her eyes up to his, gazing deeply at Wynn as she felt her body grow tired. 

Her knees weakened, but Wynn slung his arm under her legs, the other around her back, catching her body before she could fall. 

"Just remember that I-" He said something to her, her vision still lingering to see him speak, but her hearing had faded first. She didn't know what he said. She wanted to force herself up and scream it at him: what did you say? What did you need to tell to me? And, why are you doing this to me? 

But she couldn't. Sol's bereaved eyes closed and she felt herself fall limp against Wynn, taking in a final breath against his chest, already knowing she didn't want to wake up again. 

Because Wynn would already be gone. 

Seven // Part Two
It felt like goodbye.