Episode Three, Part 5:
Unforgivable Things

"There you are!" 

Someone grabbed onto Elara's wrist as she was walking through camp, spinning her around to face whoever it was that spoke. Ares was smiling at having found his sister and began leading her with him before she could wrap her mind around what was happening. 

"Ares, where are we going?" She asked as he pulled her in front of him, keeping a hand on her back as he guided her where to go. 

"You'll see soon enough." Ares laughed. 

"If this some intervention to-" 

"It's not, I promise." He said sincerely, glancing down at his sister. He was so grateful that she was safe, and he had to push away all worries about the Alteration from his mind, and just focus on that: she was safe, she was with him, she was alive. 

Just as Elara was about to continue with her questions, she saw Wynn and Quill up ahead. Ares let go of her once he knew she had seen them, and waited for her to make her way over. 

Elara stopped in her tracks, turning around to face Ares. 

He held his hands up in surrender, smiling, knowing what she was thinking. "It's nothing, I swear. Riverly gave us strict instructions to not ask you anything." 

Elara contemplated and let out a heavy sigh. She was hesitant at first but hearing her brother's words match what Sol had promised her gave her the assurance to head over to her brothers. 

They were sitting on the edge of a roof, their langs dangling over. It was some sort of shed they were on - built into the ground, with a metre-or-so room below them between the door of the shed, and the fence of Basilisk. Directly in front of the boys was the most magnificent view Elara had ever seen: there was nothing particularly special about it, but to Elara it wasn't so much the hills of green forest they could see in the distance, but oddly enough, the fence. It was a reminder to her that she was safe inside Basilisk, and with Kodiak and her brothers being with her, it was everything she needed. 

She walked up behind the boys, sitting herself down beside Wynn. She left a space between her and Quill for Ares to join them. 

Once they were all together, Elara leaned her head onto Wynn's shoulder and breathed out. This was the moment she had fought her life for. It was worth everything. 

"I told you what Riverly said," Ares began, placing his hand on his sister's knee. He knew those words alone would make her afraid, and they did: she worried that they had all conspired together to get her to talk... 

"And we want you to know that you can tell us anything-" 

"Ares," Elara sighed. She lifted her head off of Wynnlow's shoulder and collapsed into herself as if trying to hide herself away. She buried her face in her hands, resting her elbows on her legs, unable to cope with the pressure. 

"No, Ell," Wynn murmured, trying to pull her hands away, but she wouldn't allow him to. 

"You can tell us anything," he re-emphasized Ares' point, "but we're not going to force you to until you're ready. We just want you to know that we'll be here with you whenever that is." 

Elara moved her hands from her face so she could see again, but she remained slouched forward and feeling far from everyone. 

"What if I'm never ready?" She grieved. Suddenly overcome with emotion, Elara's voice cracked. She wasn't miserable or scared again, she was just frustrated. 

"You will be," Quill said from the other side of Ares. "Give yourself time. Healing isn't an instant thing." 

"Yeah," Wynn agreed. "I still find it hard to think about being in the DeadLands sometimes, but I know I'm not in it alone. Sol went through it with me, and you have Kodiak, and all of us." 

Elara looked over her shoulder, bravely mustering a small smile. 

Wynn nodded in his direction and Elara understood what he meant, leaning back into him. He wrapped his arm around her, staring at the view ahead, realizing how lucky he was that she was safe. 

"I.. I've meaning to say something," Ares spoke after a while. He sounded nervous and lacking the firmness that he usually held, and no one had any guess as to what he was talking about. 

"It's about us." He said. "About dad." 

There was a shift in all of them as he spoke, a feeling of unease surrounding them - uncertainty. 

Wynn glanced over at Ares, signalling for him to continue. 

"If he comes back, I don't think we should..." He struggled to word it right. "I don't think anyone should be hesitant because he's our dad." 

"What do you mean?" Quill asked. 

"I assume Kodiak, Dreea and River wouldn't think twice about killing someone from Targo if they tried to hurt their people, but if it's a case of our Dad trying to get to Elara again, they might try and spare him, or hold back, because they'd think that's what we want..." 

"Are you saying you want them to kill our dad?" Wynn asked. He was in shock at what his brother had said: struggling to comprehend that this was even a conversation they needed to have. 

"If it comes down to it. If it means that the three of you are safe, then yes." Ares answered without hesitation. "Nothing is more important to me than you guys. Nothing." 

Wynn dropped his head to look down, torn between his emotions. Like Ares, all he wanted was for the four of them to stay together, but no matter what had happened, Kane was still their dad, and that wouldn't change. No matter what terrible or unforgivable things he did. 

 "First we lost mum, and now we might lose dad as well," Wynn mumbled his thoughts aloud, depleted that he had to know so much loss. 

"You know we've already lost him, Wynn," Ares spoke tenderly, trying to let him down slowly. He looked over to Quill, trying to get them both to understand. "What he put Elara through... The fact that he was willing to leave us all behind-" 

"I had a dad because of him." Quill couldn't bring himself to say anything else for a moment, lost in the grief that was shaking him apart. Ares, Wynn and Elara all looked over, coming to a recognition that it was a little different for him. 

"I don't remember anything from before the Bunker. The only thing I remember about my mum is her hiding me in the Bunker... Kane and Martha raised me as their own since then. I know we don't have the same blood, but- but he's still my dad. The only dad I've ever known." 

"Hey," Ares whispered, frowning sadly as he looked over him. He slung his arm around Quill, pulling him against his shoulder. 

"You're our brother no matter what. You're just as much our brother as Wynn is. Blood has nothing to do with it, okay? It never has." 

Quill nodded against Ares, holding tight to what he said, trying to not let his emotions get the better of him. He knew he was right. Despite the desire to forget everything and have Kane return home, the truth was that it wasn't going to happen. What mattered the most was keeping Elara safe. That was something that all of them could agree on. 

"So what happens when he comes back?" Quill asked. "What do we tell the Sovereigns?" 

Ares sighed and looked to his other side. There was still one person who hadn't given their input. 

"Ell?" He said her name, encouraging her to look up at him. 

Wynn sat up, forcing Elara to do the same and move her head from his shoulder. He was curious to know what she thought about it given that she was the one who suffered at his hands. 

"What do you think about it?" Ares asked. 

Elara breathed out, staring straight ahead. She didn't need a second to think about her answer as it was the same conclusion she reached every time she fell unconscious to the serum, and her dad was the last person she saw. 

"I think you're right." She said to him. "Mum tried to hold me at Blood Riders, Dad tried to take me to Targo. They deserve the same fate." 

Wynn shared a nervous look with both his brothers, sitting slightly behind Elara so she couldn't see. The boys couldn't believe what she had said, and that even after the pain of losing her mother, she could ultimately become so unfeeling to what had happened. Like the idea of losing their dad didn't even phase her. 

"Elara..." Wynn said her name delicately. 

She turned to face him. "What?" 

"It's okay if you're angry, if you're scared." He assured her. Sighing, Wynn continued. "It's okay if you don't know what you want-" 

"I'm not scared." Elara cut him off. She said it so nonchalantly, without any doubt in her voice, that Wynnlow believed her. 

"I don't care what happens to dad. As far as I see it, dad isn't part of the picture anymore." She confessed. She took hold of Wynn's hand, then looked over to Quill and Ares, taking hold of Ares' hand with her other. 

"It's just the four of us now." She declared. "For always." 

Ares smiled, following his sister's actions and taking hold of Quill's hand so they were all connected. 

"For always." He repeated after her, Quill and Wynn also doing the same. "We've got each other. Azha, Bas, Harlow, MaReya and Fabian, too." 

A peace washed over the siblings, and they sat there - together in silence, not feeling the need to say anymore. Wynn stared ahead at the forest until his eyes drifted down to his feet, dangling over the edge.  

It still hadn't sunk in how many people from the Bunker they had lost, and maybe it never would. Wynn was still waiting for their names to be called out: Mum, Dad, Valarie, Lili, Emlyn, Holden, Hayzel and Lyra - who he still felt like he was waiting for. 

He exhaled a deep breath, forcing his eyes to look up again. He didn't want to remember what it looked like when he saw her falling. He didn't want to remember her like that at all, and he knew there was only one answer to his problems. 

He had to let Lyra go. 

So Wynn held onto one final thought of her, keeping his eyes closed until he was ready to open them again and accept that the world was without her. Without the first girl he loved. 

But now there was room for someone else. 

Three // Part Five

26/03/20.