Episode Three, Part 1:
Unforgivable Things

The wars of our father's are not ours to bear. 

When Sol got the alert on her radio that Kodiak had woken up, she wanted to run to him. But she couldn't. Part of her responsibility as Nobel required her to face up to what needed to be done, even when her heart wanted nothing more than to get to someone, or be with someone. 

She sent Wynn to return to the Quarters, knowing she had to take advantage of what time she could get alone, and made her way to cells of Basilisk. 

She dismissed all but one of the guards upon her arrival and made sure the door was shut securely behind her so no one could listen in, bravely turning around to face Rogue. 

The last time she stood there, it was Eryx who was chained up to the wall. Sol felt uncomfortable at the vision - how it didn't feel like a memory, but a fresh wound - as if the fear and betrayal was just as strong as when it was happening. 

Looking at Rogue, it was different; Sol wasn't afraid of him, but she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to get vengeance for Noah, or that her decision would hurt Jonas. She only had one chance when it came to deciding what happened to Rogue, and it had to benefit her people. 

"I was wondering when you were going to visit," Rogue announced. He stood to his feet when the Sovereign stepped up to the bars - the chains on his hands restricting him from moving right up to the barrier. 

Sol hummed as if to contemplate if his words bothered her, but she shrugged her shoulders to show him that she didn't care what he said.  

"How did the serum feel, Rogue?" She knew she was taunting him, and she loved every second of it. She let go of the act of trying to move on from Noah for just one moment and tried to harvest all of the spiteful things he would have said to his dad if he was still alive. 

Rogue sighed, clearly annoyed by the question. "Well I'm still here, aren't I?" 

Sol laughed. "You think I did that to you to kill you?" She asked. "That would be too easy. Because of you... No, because of me," she corrected, "our doctors know more about how the serum works. Now we're one step closer to the 'Heir or Targo' making a complete recovery... So I guess you could say you helped your enemy and simultaneously took down all of Targo's progress on her." 

Rogue breathed hot with rage and a darkening look consumed his features. Sol had a point that to some extent, Rogue had given them answers to help Elara, but they were still wrong about one thing. 

"Maybe you're right about understanding more about how the serum works, but you don't know enough. I assume the Heir isn't doing too well?" Rogue asked. 

By Sol's resistance to answer, and the folding of her arms, Rogue knew he was right. 

He chuckled. "You've yet to learn that the girl won't heal. The only thing that will save her is if you let Targo complete the Alteration." 

"What about you? You've had the serum too. Does that mean the same will have to happen to you?" 

Rogue contemplated if he should tell her the truth. There was nothing to gain from it either way, but there was some bitter enjoyment he had in revealing that they wouldn't be able to force Rogue into the same transition or suffering as Elara. 

"I'll be fine. While the first Phase of the Alteration is excruciating, you can't progress me onto Phase 2, or do anything to me. It won't work. Not without Targo." He admitted. "So... What's your plan, Nobel? If you're going to kill me, do it while you still have the chance." 

Sol's eyes narrowed in anger, staring down the older man and suddenly remembering all the pain he had caused her and the people she cared about. 

"When I kill you, and I will kill you, you'll be begging for your life. Riders won't have a king anymore until Jonas steps up. Your people will have no choice but to listen to him, and they will surrender to Basilisk, and that will be the end of them." 

"Jonas is a child. He doesn't have it in him to be king." 

"No, but I do. And since you took Noah away from him, he looks to me for guidance. I'd train on what to do, and work with him to defect Blood Riders over to Basilisk. Anyone of them who opposes will be killed. How does that sound?" 

"It sounds amateur at best." Rogue spat. "You're forgetting Targo is still out there. You might have killed some of their guards when you took the girl back, but you let Rhea get away. I mean, how stupid was that? You call yourself some leader? The remainder of my people are with her, and they've sent back a call to their city to bring more people your way. But you didn't know that, did you? You think you can keep your people safe, but you can't. You won the battle but not the war." 

Sol's breathing picked up; both panic and anger taking over her, and she didn't know if she should believe him. Rogue began laughing at her, enjoying how anxious he was making her, and knowing that she couldn't distinguish fact from fiction. 

The Sovereign turned on her heel, hurrying out of the room before Rogue could get to her anymore, and fled far away from the cells. 

//// 

There was someone else Sol still needed to see, and she felt as though she couldn't make any decisions or plan any strategy until she had spoken to him. 

Finally braving the moment to sit down and talk to him, Sol shut the door behind Joren as he followed her into the room, both of them hesitant to face their company.

Jonas knew something was wrong; closed doors and sealed lips were an obvious warning sign, even at his young age. 

"Something bad has happened, hasn't it?" 

"No, don't get ahead of yourself. We just want you to know something." Sol assured him, breaking the distance between them and moving closer. She took hold of his hand and led him to sit down next to her, with Joren doing the same and sitting opposite. 

Sol looked at the older man for the confidence to continue, needing a reminder that telling him was the right thing. She considered building up to it so it didn't hit him as hard, but she couldn't bear to drag it out any longer. 

"Your dad is here." 

It was an odd thing to have hoped for, but Sol was relieved to see the fear wash over Jonas as she knew that it meant there wouldn't be a lot of room left in his heart to love his dad anymore. 

"It's okay. He can't get to you." Sol squeezed onto his hand, waiting from him to confess what he was feeling. 

"What is he doing here?" The boy asked. 

Sol looked to Joren for help, unsure of the simplest way to explain it to him. 

"We ran into him when we were near Blood Riders' camp. His people attacked River's group, but they didn't manage to harm them. When they eliminated the threat of Riders, River managed to capture your dad and take him back here with her." 

"Why? He isn't supposed to know I'm here. That's what Noah said-" 

"It's okay. Even if he knew exactly where you were, there's nothing he could do to get to you." Sol promised him, hiding the hurt she felt at Noah's name. She envied how easy it was for someone as young and innocent as Jonas to talk about someone they had lost - as if he couldn't comprehend the extend at how long Noah would be gone for, and that the emptiness and heartache they felt when they remembered him, would stay with them forever. How it wouldn't get better. 

"I know what Noah promised you," Sol told him. "I promise it, too: I won't let anything happen to you." 

Jonas immediately seemed to relax a little, having faith in Sol. 

"What are you going to do?" 

Sol sighed. "I don't know if Noah had the chance to tell you about the new clan that's come around? Targo?" 

Jonas shook his head. 

"Well, they tried to take some of our people away; one of my other Sovereigns - Kodiak, and my friend Elara. We got them back, but we think they might try to take them again. And your dad was helping them do that." 

"So we can use it as our leverage," Joren explained. "If we keep your dad as our hostage, they might not try and attack us, because we have their king." 

"Jonas swallowed away his fear. "Will you let him go? He might try and find me." 

Sol let out a sharp breath knowing that she had to say it now and that she might be about the inflict even more trauma onto the young boy. She couldn't bear the thought of seeming like a monster in Jonas' mind. The last thing Noah wanted her to do was to look after his little brother, and she couldn't let him down. She couldn't leave Jonas with no one, but she knew that what she was about to say could change everything for him. 

"I want you to know that it might have to come to this, and I wanted to know if you think you would be alright afterwards, or if it would be too scary for you-" 

"You want to hurt him?" 

Sol nodded regretfully. 

"...Kill him." The young boy understood." 

Sol looked down at her feet, the shame hitting her: she was asking a nine-year-old for permission to kill his dad. What had being a Sovereign made of her? 

An unfound bravery reached the young boy - a sudden acceptance of what life had become. As he looked up at Sol, trying to distinguish every emotion he could see - sorrow, grief, guilt - he figured out the truth: somehow, he realized that his dad had killed Noah. It probably should have surprised him a little more than it did but the only thing that he could ever pay attention to anymore was how much he missed his brother. 

"Okay." He answered. 

"You don't have to answer now. You can think about it if you need some time." Joren told him. 

Jonas shook his head. "He took my brother away from me. The most important person I'll ever have. And Noah's never coming home. I won't get to see him again for the rest of my life." 

Home. Sol thought. Noah would never come home. 

She shook her head. "It might not even come to it: things could find a resolve." She began, refusing to acknowledge the warning look from Joren. 

"But..." She struggled to recall it - to admit that the vision in her head was different to the reality that had played out. "My dad died not too long ago, because of me. I killed him." She told him. 

"Why?" 

Sol sighed, still unable to shift the heaviness that was weighing her down. "Because it turns out he had another daughter and he wanted her to take my place because he cared about her a little more than me." She confessed, then adding, "and he tried to kill me first, so when I found my way back home after my friend saved my life," her thumb unconsciously smoothed over the skin on her opposite hand where a certain someone's initials were tattooed on her were, "I had my dad executed. It had to be done to protect my people." 

Jonas curled his lips, thinking deeply. "My dad didn't care about my brother, and yours only cared about your sister. It's the same fate." 

Sol didn't even pay attention to the young boy accepting what would happen to Rogue, and could only hear the word he had used ringing out in her head: sister. 
For the first time since she had known Atlantis, Sol didn't feel inclined to correct the term, and it wasn't only because it was Jonas who had said it. 

So she agreed. "Yeah. I guess it's kind of the same. That's why I don't want you to say 'yes' without understanding fully." 

Jonas bit down on his lips again and shook his head. For a moment, he looked just like his brother. He was the spitting image of Noah, and Sol wanted to pretend for a second that he was still there, but it had never ran more clear than in that moment: she had to let Noah go. What mattered now was Jonas; not because he was Noah's brother, but because Sol was his dependant. And she would do anything for him. 

"Noah wanted him dead. He told me that before he said goodbye." His voice softened as if every time he said that word again, he felt scared like he was saying it to his brother all over again. 

"We should do this last thing for him." Jonas continued. "Because I think it would make him proud of us." 

Sol hummed into a smile and pulled him into her arms. "You never have to worry about making him proud, Jonas. He loved you more than anyone in the world." 

The young boy smiled against her, but Sol couldn't see. "He loves you as well." 

Something inside of her ached, but she didn't break this time. It was the ache of goodbye; the ache of moving forward and knowing she would leave him behind, let him go, and that the only part of him she could hold onto was the memory. 

"I know." She whispered against Jonas' hair. "I loved him, too." 

That was her goodbye. 

Three // Part One
I wrote most of this at my pub quiz the other week (yes, out of chronological order).

I love how Sol had stepped up to be Jonas' dependant. Who else loves this relationship between them? Also, what was your favourite part of this chapter?

As hard as it was, I liked that Sol was finally able to let Noah go.

24/03/20.