Episode Four, Part 4:
C h e c k m a t e

Thunder rumbling, castle crumbling. I am trying to hold on. 
God knows that I tried seeing the bright side, but I'm not blind anymore. 

Ares and Kodiak hurried Elara out of the room, for her own safety, as well as not wanting her to realize what she had done to Wynn. 

A part of him didn't want his sister to leave, but with the amount of pain he was in, he could barely hold his head upright. 

Sol came over to him, crouching opposite Wynn. 

"Aeryn's on her way. She'll be here any moment-" 

"No," Wynn groaned. "She needs to see if Ell's okay." 

"Fenn's checking on Elara. Worry about yourself for a minute. You're pretty beat up." Sol told him, trying to raise his spirits a little, but he was completely defeated. She sighed, resting her hand on his arm, hating seeing him in so much pain. 

"Wynn? Oh my gosh. What happened?" Aeryn queried, hurrying over to her friend's side. Quill moved out of the way, giving space for her to tend to his brother, keeping close in case it hurt. 

Wynn winced as Aeryn dabbed something cool against his skin, instinct making him move away. 

"I know it stings, but it'll be better if you get it over with." 

Wynn exhaled, nodding for her to continue, and tensed up as she treated him. Sol had moved away from him for a moment but had returned with something familiar to him. 

She held up the damp cloth for him to see, hoping he would see the irony in the situation. Wynn chuckled, breathing in sharply as Sol worked alongside Aeryn to get him patched up. 

"Most of the damage looks superficial," she explained, leaning back onto her knees. She frowned sympathetically. "How do you feel? Anything else I should know about?" 

Wynn sighed, rolling his head around and closing his eyes. 

"Can't I just see if Elara's okay?" 

"Not until I know you are," Aeryn hassled, unable to leave until he told her the truth that she knew he was hiding. 

"My ears are ringing, it's hard to see, and to point out the obvious, my head hurts." 

Aeryn smiled. "Still got your senes of humour, I can see." 

Wynn laughed but had to hold his breath as it hurt too much. 

"Is going to be okay?" Quill interrupted, nervously searching Aeryn for an answer. 

"I think he'll be just fine." She assured him, squeezing onto Quill's hand. She glanced back over at Wynn. 

"You have a concussion, and probably a lot of bruising to come, but as long as you take it easy, you'll heal up nice and quick. Stay here for a couple of minutes, though," she instructed him, "as I'm guessing you feel quite nauseous." 

Wynn nodded, grateful that she seemed to understand how he was feeling. He shifted to look at his brother. 

"Can you go see Elara for me? Tell her I'll be there soon?" 

Quill hesitated. "Ares and Kodiak are with her. I'll stay here with you until you're okay." 

"No," Wynn mumbled. "I'm-" he looked over at Sol, knowing he wasn't alone. 

"I'm fine. Really. She'll be tearing herself apart. Just go see her." 

Quill nodded, regretful to leave Wynnlow in such a state, but he knew he was right about their sister. He lingered for a moment, but then disappeared, leaving his brother behind. 

Once he was gone, Wynn forced himself to sit up, breathing heavily for a few seconds as he waited for his head to stop spinning. Sol had one hand holding onto his arm, the other rubbing circles on his back as she tried to ease his discomfort. 

He looked up at them both. 

"What's happening to Elara?" 

Sol dropped her head, feeling her chest tightening with recognition. 

"What? What is it?" Wynn asked. 

"When I was out there with Rhea, she said..." The Sovereign hesitated, the word ringing in her mind: deteriorate. No matter what, she couldn't say that. She couldn't allow it to be true. 

"She seemed to know that Elara was struggling. She said it's because we pulled her out of Phase 4 that she keeps getting her visions, and the only way for them to stop is to... Is to complete The Alteration." 

"But that means..." Aeryn couldn't bear to say it. 

Sol nodded. "She'd forget everything. All of you. Yeah." 

Wynn shook his head, heaving with worry. "There's gotta be something else. We'll figure it out." 

Sol wasn't so sure, but as she gazed at him, purple marking already settling all over his face, she couldn't bring herself to tell him what they already knew; what had been suggested several times already but would feel like some sort of final declaration if it were to be said now: she was getting worse. 

"Leave it to me." She told him, gesturing in the direction of the door to tell him he could leave. 

Wynn didn't waste any time in staggering to his feet, held up by the support of Aeryn and finally led back to his sister. For all those he had been separated, strangely enough, it didn't feel as long as those few minutes they were kept from each other; when he knew they needed each other the most. 

Sol remained on the floor, watching Wynnlow as he left, wishing what he said was true: that her best was good enough. If it wasn't, how would she save Elara? 

//// 

Elara sat shivering in Ares' arms, barely able to breathe under the weight of what she had done. Ares was holding on tight to her, sharing knowing looks with Kodiak every now and then, neither of them saying anything. After all, what would they say? She's okay? It wasn't a big deal? She'll be fine? Because they knew that wasn't true. 

The door opened and Elara shot up, hoping it would be Wynn. When she saw that it was Quill, she collapsed down against Ares, avoiding everyone's eyes, knowing they were all looking at her with the same, miserable, empathy. 

Quill walked over to her cautiously, placing his hand on her arm reassuringly and squeezing a little. But he could see that it was doing nothing for her. 

"He's just resting for a moment. He wants to see you. He'll be in, in a minute." 

Elara glanced up at him briefly to show that she had heard, nodding once, continuing to bite down on her nails. 

"See, he's not going to hate you, Ell," Ares whispered to his sister, unable to forget the way she had cried that he would as he pulled away. He knew Wynn and he knew the only thing he would be thinking about was whether or not she was okay. 

But Elara couldn't believe it. Not until she heard it from Wynn himself, and even then, it would take some convincing. Lost in her anxiety, she didn't hear the footsteps outside the door and barely managed to look in time to see it open. 

She sat up once again, standing to her feet, knowing it would be him this time. 

Finally, Wynn stepped into sight, his eyes immediately scanning for his sister. The moment he found her, his arms opened, stepping forward in her direction that she was already running from. 

Elara crashed into him again, but with opposite intentions. Her arms wrapped around his waist in an unbreakable bond, and her head bundled closely against his chest. Wynn held her back, closing his eyes in relief, even as he felt her cry against him. 

Eventually, he had to pull away slightly, guiding the both of them to sit down next to Ares. Their brother watched on carefully, not having had the chance to notice how badly he had gotten hurt until now. His heart shattered at the sight of his little brother all beaten up and aching, but even more so at Elara who was trembling against Wynn, spilling sorry's out with tears. 

"I'm so sorry, Wynn," she whimpered. "I'm so, so sorry. I-I didn't know w-what I was doing." 

"I know you didn't. It's okay. I'm okay." He promised her, clutching his hand onto the back of her head. 

"Elara..." Ares murmured her name, sitting forward so she could see him on the other side on Wynn. 

She looked up, appearing younger in her devastation, and her tired, watery eyes met his. 

"It was a vision, wasn't it? Part of the serum. And you had one before when we were all on the roof, trying to leave, didn't you?" 

She glanced around the room, taking in everyone: her brothers, Sol, Aeryn, Fenn, and Kodiak. They would all see they were wrong. Who she was in the visions was the same person she was now. A monster. 

Elara nodded. "This is why I couldn't tell you about them." She confessed. 

"Why you couldn't tell us about what happened in your visions?" Wynn clarified. 

She nodded again. 

"Can you tell us now?" Kodiak asked from across the room. His voice was gentle and holding no judgement - just like he had spent hours prior trying to convince her it would be, but Elara knew it wouldn't last long. 

But, the worst had happened now. She had attacked Wynn and left him hurt badly. Maybe telling them would spare them from her doing the same again. 

She grabbed onto Wynn's hand, knowing she was being selfish, but asking for that once offer of comfort to get her through. 

"When they put me under the serum - in the visions - I had to hurt people." She admitted. "I-I had to hurt you guys. Sometimes all of you, sometimes just one, but you would always end up dead because of me." 

"That's what you've been so afraid to tell us?" Quill asked. He couldn't understand why she couldn't tell them earlier. He knew it would have been a terrifying vision to face, but the part where they would have hated her because of it just didn't fit. 

Elara looked away, hiding further against Wynn. She didn't want to say anymore. She just wanted everything to stop. She just wanted to be better. 

Thankfully, there was one person in the room who could speak for her. 

"She's afraid because they made her choose it," Sol explained, leaning against the wall with her arms folded. As everyone turned to look at Sol, her eyes fell on Elara, feeling responsible for all she was going through. 

"Because the visions are designed to test her responses to things like endurance, survival, and strength, they put her in life or death situations. The serum works alongside that to activate her fight or flight response, guiding her to the decision that will keep her alive. If she were to fail one of the visions when she was under the Alteration, it might actually kill her, so that's why she capable of doing anything when she's under; because even if she's not consciously thinking about it, her mind knows that if she doesn't kill the threat - even if it appears as you guys, then she will be killed." 

At Sol's words, Wynn found himself holding on a little tighter to Elara, unable to imagine all that she had been through. It wasn't fair that she was suffering, and even more, that there was no end in sight. 

"In your vision just then, you were saying that you didn't want to go - you wanted to stay here. You thought Wynn and Quill were trying to take you away. Is that right?" Sol approached Elara, kneeling down in front of where she sat, hoping to ease her back into talking. 

She nodded reluctantly and was reminded of the trust she had in Sol, finding a little more courage to speak. 

"I knew you guys were there. When you tried to grab hold of me - which I think was you trying to calm me down - I thought you were attacking me. I- I thought you were trying to give me to Targo. Because it would be easier for all of you. Safer without me there." She confessed. 

The atmosphere of the room shifted, perhaps the shattering inside everyone's chest, their aching hearts all struggling to beat together. 

"I can't tell what's real or not anymore. If you're actually here, or if I'm just imagining it. If you're really saying that you love me, or if you're screaming in my face, saying that everything that's going wrong is because of me... I think I fall in and out of reality more times than I fall asleep, and I'm scared that one day soon, I won't wake up at all. I'm sorry for what I've done," Elara looked back up at Wynn, making sure he was still there. "But I think I'm losing my mind." 

Four // Part Four
I can't tell what's real or not anymore.