Episode Six, Part 6:
N e v e r   L o s e   Y o u //
L o v e   I s   No t   E n o u g h 

Just know it takes it from me to end this darling. 
I'm running low. I'm sorry, but I have to go. 

"What the hell happened out here? Is everyone okay?" Sol's voice suddenly ripped through the silence, turning everyone's head to the bushes where her and her team appeared from. She looked panicked, looking over everyone as they stood up, making sure no one was hurt. 

Foster had been pacing around, and as he was the closest one to Sol, he grabbed onto her wrist, pulling her aside to whisper something to her. 

Wynn could see Sol's eyes drift between him and his brothers, the focused look on her face slowly dissolving to that of empathy - a shared fear, perhaps, as they all had people they knew they could lose. 

Bas, MaReya and Azha all followed from behind Sol, heading straight over to the three brothers to find out for themselves what had happened. Quill was evidently still shaken up, only seeming to find some comfort in the sight of his family returning for a brief moment, trying to remember the hope he needed to have for his sister's return. 

Wynn stepped away, looking over at Sol who seemed to know he would be waiting. She excused herself from Foster - one last glance to make sure everyone was accounted for - and tiptoed over to Wynn. 

For however long they would have, the relief at seeing each other alive brought their world to a still, despite everything that was happening, and everything bound to come. There was a moment where Sol wanted to leap forward and hold Wynnlow tight; he meant more to her than any of the others with them, a bond that was still new, but set firm within her nonetheless - but she missed her chance, cut off by Wynnlow's conversation. 

"We need to split ourselves up. After what just happened with Quill..." Wynn trailed off, struggling to let go of the fear, "I figured we couldn't risk Elara losing all of us, if something was to happen." 

"Hey..." Sol's voice was tender, as if the realization of what Wynnlow was feeling hurt her just as much. "Nothing will happen to you. To any of you guys." 

"Sol-" 

"I'm glad to see you safe." Her voice was firm, like she had already made up her mind that she was going to see him after everything was over. "But I'll see you again, and you'll be safe then, too. Everyone will be." 

Wynn chucked halfheartedly, looking down at his feet. "I thought a Sovereign isn't supposed to make promises they know they can't keep?" The weight in chest made his words come out sore, and tired, like there was a little bit of hope lost behind them. 

"Keeping my people safe isn't a promise, Wynn. It's everything. I'll make sure we get to Elara, and I'll make sure you're safe." 

Wynn nodded, warmed by what she had said, but afraid to let it show. There was so much at stake that he couldn't risk losing anything else. He looked around, counting, noticing that someone was missing. 

"Wynn..." Sol went to continue. A heaviness of her own that she needed to unburden. 

"Where's Noah?" He asked. "I thought he was meeting up with your group?" 

The Sovereign shook her head, biting on her tongue to keep the words in, instead, trying to piece together what she needed to tell him. 

"He went up ahead, back to Blood Riders. He's going to try and stall the war, and... And kill his dad, I think." 

Wynn looked back at Sol suddenly, afraid that he would see the fear he knew she had been fighting so hard to forget. The same fear, and guilt, and shame that she had locked up inside her mind from killing Eryx. 

"Sol-" 

"Don't mention it. I'm fine." She shut him down before he could say too much to see through her. "There's too much going on in my head right now, that I don't even have a second to think about it." 

Wynn just nodded, not able to find anything worthwhile to say to her in return. 

"Nobel? Three groups this time; how does that sound?" Foster interrupted, heading over to the both of them. 

"Uh, yeah. It'll give us more angles at trying to approach the labs." Sol agreed, listening in as Foster ran by his decisions for the groups. 

"Fenn, Lois, Ares and yourself for the first group." He began, glancing over the Sovereign to see any doubt on her face. 

"Stella, MaReya, Quill, Azha, and myself for the next." 

Sol nodded slowly, realizing what was coming, as did Wynn. Anxiety began to circle in his stomach, making him restless with unease. 

"So you're saying-" Wynn began. 

"You, Bas, Lyra, and Nova for the third group. That's right." 

Wynn shook his head quite adamantly, almost amused by the situation. Almost.

"No. No way. That's not going to work. Sorry, you'll have to move someone around." Wynn protested, looking away. 

"Listen, Wynn-" 

"I've got this." Sol cut Foster off, flashing her eyes at him, warning him to give them a moment. Once he left, Sol sighed deeply, trying to face Wynnlow who had his arms folded, and his side turned to her. 

"Wynn, I know it's not your first choice-" 

"I wouldn't chose it at all, Sol." He rolled his eyes. 

"I know." She sighed again. "But realistically, and I know you don't want to hear it, Lyra will do a lot for keeping you and her brother safe."  

Wynn glanced over, a hint that she was getting through to him, but stubbornly, he still tried to insist that he was right. 

"She survived for months on her own, and you and Bas are the strongest from your family, so it just works for you to be out here together. Ares will be safe with me, and Quill will have Azha and MaReya, giving him the most support. Can you just trust in Lyra enough to save your sister?" 

Wynn shook his head. "I can't trust her again." He admitted, finally turning around to face Sol completely. "But I'll go with her. For my sister." 

Sol smiled, her way of her telling him that it was the right decision, that she was proud of him. She nodded softly, turning around to form the groups, when Wynn called her name again.

"Sol?" 

The Sovereign knew what he was going to say; the same urge that Wynnlow felt to say it, was also screaming inside of Sol, but she wasn't strong enough to hear it. 

"Don't say goodbye." She told him, something about it feeling a little like she was begging. 

Wynnlow's breath hitched, as if a sudden realization of what he meant to her overthrew him, as if they both knew that if they said it, it could make losing each other real. 

So he just nodded, eyes lingering for a moment, before he turned away not knowing when, or if he would ever see her again. 

/ / / 

Bas and Wynn gathered up their things, following after Nova, trying to create as much distance between them and Lyra as the could. Neither of them wanted to speak to her if they could help it. It seemed their forgiveness for her was fleeting, and how they were feeling towards her was constantly changing, sparked and brought on by nothing in particular; just a passing change of heart. 

"This is weird. Heading to Riders willingly after everything they've done." Bas spoke, directing his words to Wynn, but purposely raising his voice so Lyra would hear. 

Wynn could see his intentions, and whilst he didn't have the energy to argue with Lyra anymore, he still contributed, hoping that he could let some of his hurt out on her. 

"I know. It's like no matter how hard you try to protect someone, one day you realize you're just helpless. Or that the only reason you are is because someone you loved put you in that position." Like Bas, he found himself raising his voice, losing sight of what was important. 

"At least we know where Elara and Kodiak are. Who knows, maybe Riders will be too focused on their march to worry about guarding their labs." 

"You don't have to keep bringing it up. Did you realize that? I think you've hurt me enough since I've been back." Lyra muttered, storming past both boys. She bumped into Bas' shoulder harshly, sending him stumbling a few steps. 

"That's rich... Coming from you." Bas scoffed, looking to Wynn for a laugh. 

Wynn looked at his feet, unable to find the satisfaction he wanted in hating Lyra. He couldn't  bring himself do to it completely, like he was always going to love her no matter how badly he didn't want to; like he was always going to care about her, no matter that it seemed she didn't always care about him. 

"What do you want me to say, Bas? I could spend forever trying to make it up to you, but if you've already decided that it's not enough, why do you let me keep trying? I'm sorry. So sorry that its all that's left of me - a desperate, pleading echo of sorry's. Just... Just tell me what you want me to say... Please." Lyra turned around, throwing her hands in the air. 

"Hey! You guys. Cut it out." Nova called from up ahead; they had barely been together for all of 5 minutes, and she was already tired of their bickering. 

Bas just rolled his eyes, unable to let it go. 

"I told you already. I said I wanted you to say that you were with me. That you were coming inside the gates with me when you took me home." 

Suddenly Lyra stopped walking away, and she changed directions, walking straight to the two boys. 

"You know I couldn't do that." She answered calmly, chewing on her bottom lip. 

"No. I don't." Bas exclaimed. "Please enlighten me. Tell me why us all finally being together again wasn't what you wanted. Tell me why you had to do that to me." 

"Because I couldn't live with myself!" Lyra admitted softly, desperately staring back at her brother. "I can't forgive myself for it. For any of it. Is that what you wanted to hear?" 

Bas breathed deeply, anger twitching in his nose, narrowing his gaze on her. 

"Yes." He answered after a moment. Lingering to see her reaction, then repeating what she had done: brushing into her shoulder, walking away. 

Lyra whimpered slightly; a feeling that would never go away - knowing he would never forgive her, either. She finally managed to look up, over at Wynn who was standing there quietly, a similar look of misery on his face as was on her own. 

"Wynn?" She asked, waiting to see if he would leave her, too. 

His sad eyes met her's, holding each other's gaze among the few metres between them. He wanted so badly to forget everything she had done, but every time he looked at her, he saw his mother dying all over again. 

"Just say it too." She spoke. "Tell me that you hate me and I'll never ask again. I'll never say a thing. I can live with that, if you just tell me its true." 

"I don't hate you, Lyra." He exhaled, giving in to his emotions. "I want to... But I can't." 

Overwhelmed by his confession, Lyra began to cry, her whole body shaking with guilt. Wynn couldn't bare to see her like this, especially knowing that she was likely to disappear again after the war, and would leave feeling this way. He had no power when it came to her; he reached out, grabbing onto her wrist, and pulled her straight into his arms. 

They were both hesitant - afraid that anything too strong would push the other one away. But slowly, their hold on each other became tighter, and Lyra couldn't slip away from him this time even if she tried to. 

"I'm so sorry for hurting you." She murmured against him. 

Wynnlow breathed deeply one last time against her. "I know. And I'm sorry, too." He pulled away. 

Lyra frowned, trying to comprehend what on earth he needed to apologize for. 

"Because I can't let you in again." He hurried the words out, unable to look at her in the eyes, and quickly parted from her. 

As Wynn rushed to catch up to Bas, Lyra was left behind in the ruins of her life, and a knowledge she was trying terribly hard to accept: nothing was going to get better. 

Six // Part Six
Don't say goodbye.