Episode Five, Part 2:
W h o   A r e   Y o u   T o   C o m e   B a c k ?

What am I now? What if I'm someone I don't want around? 
I'm falling again. I'm falling again. I'm falling. 

Sol collapsed onto the couch, letting out an exhausted groan as she calculated how much rest she could get if she fell asleep right then. 

Noah made his way over across the room, laughing to himself softly at her reaction, and falling down right next to her. His elbow was propped up on the top of the couch - his hand pressed up against the side of his head, giving him the perfect view of her. 

"You found us just in time." Sol muttered, her eyes closed. 

"Yeah," Noah smiled, keeping his eyes on her as long as he could. 

"Thank you for covering us on the way here." She looked up at him now, wanting to see the gratitude dissolve into him. 

"It's the least that I could do. You were keeping my brother safe as well." 

Sol sighed, questions running around in her head, demanding to be answered. "Noah..." She began, shifting to face him completely. "What happened with Jonas? Was it.. Was is your dad?" 

Noah looked away, biting hard on his lip to distract himself from the pain circling inside his chest. 

"He..." He struggled to speak. 

Sol breathed out, extending her hand out and pushing her fingers under his hand. He seemed confused at first - as if he couldn't understand why she was doing that - but after a moment, instinct took over, and he held on tightly to her hand. He knew in that moment he was safe to tell her anything. 

"He hurt Jonas." 

Sol took a moment - moved by the truth, or how the word spilled out of him, unable to fathom how anyone could lay a hand on Jonas. Then again, her dad did the same to her, and she would be spending the rest of her life trying to understand how he could do that to her: it made no sense, but somehow, everyone had a power in them to hurt the ones they loved more than anyone in the world. And that power would often be the strongest thing inside of them. 

"He kept sending him out, alone - like when you ran into him. And Jonas... He refused to go. But it's my fault, Riv. I told him not to listen to dad, when I should have been there to stand up to him myself. And then I brought up the idea of not going to war anymore, and he said... He said..." Noah began to choke up, watery eyes now spilling over, a tremble in his lips that he couldn't keep quiet. 

Sol lifted his hand, bringing it up to her lips, lingering a kiss on his skin. Noah seemed to find some strength to continue, but the emotion in his voice still wavered. 

"He said, 'fight back!'" Noah murmured, pointing harshly at the space between them, as if he was reliving the moment. 

"'We go to war and we fight back.' He said. And then he hit him. His son! His child!" Noah exclaimed. He pulled himself away, dropping his head into his hands. 

"I couldn't protect him. I didn't do enough. I didn't keep him safe. What difference am I from my father if I let evil things happen and I don't stop them? Sometimes I think I was damned to become king of Blood Riders. And its like dying would be the only way to escape who I would have to become if I stayed. I can't let myself turn into that. I have to be more. For Jonas. For you." 

Sol couldn't sit by and listen to him speak this way about himself anymore. Not when it wasn't true. 

She sat up fully, inching closer towards him, and she placed her hands on either side of his face, pulling him to look at her. Her thumb rested on the corner of his lip, the crook of her hand collecting his tears as they fell. 

Noah was completely overwhelmed - overthrown by her tenderness, a side of each other they had hidden for too many years, not understanding how their reflections were dying to meet. 

"You are an adversary to evil, Noah. You are your brother's keeper. A king of morality and promise. Who came before us is not who we have to be. Who we were is not who we have to be anymore. You are not trapped." Sol declared, emotion resounding within her voice as well. She had to know that he had heard her. 

Noah sighed, leaning into her hands for a second, then pulling them both into his lap to hold. He looked down at them, watching as his fingers laced through hers, knowing he would forever have to hide from his people the devotion he felt for Sol. How he could never be both: Blood Riders, and someone who loved her. 

Then a moment. It changed everything. 

Noah looked up at Sol suddenly, feeling the fear dissolve at the very thought dancing on his tongue; the king confessed. 

"I don't want to be Blood Riders anymore." 

Five // Part Two

An adversary. Your brother's keeper. You are not trapped.

I've been wanting to show this side of Noah for so long. The real Noah. I can't wait for you to see what his confession leads to, but for now, maybe just linger in this Noah - right now.

Is it weird to feel like a proud mum over one of my characters? Because I do.