Episode Four, Part 5:
Darkness Keeps Chasing Me

Don't be afraid; God knows mistakes 
were bound to be made. But I 
promise you I'll keep you safe. 

Elara sat down in the sand close to her tent, grateful that Quill had been there to keep her steady as she walked. Although she had processed what had happened and was now mentally a lot more calmer, she was still having trouble with controlling the shaking her body was letting out.

"I'll get Izzy and K-" Quill began to say, cutting himself short. "Never mind. Looks like they're already on their way," he laughed.

Elara peered around him, seeing Izzy running her way without waiting for Kodiak - her long, dark hair bouncing with every step she took. Elara smiled instantaneously at the sight of her, forgetting all of her troubles for a moment as she watched the young girl - the feeling of relief intensifying when Izzy dropped down at her side, already slinging her arms around Elara.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her youthful voice already sounding close to breaking.

"Yeah, sweet girl, I'm okay," Elara murmured, running her hand over Izzy's head, keeping her held close against her until Kodiak arrived.

He looked heavyhearted and Elara knew that it had been agony for him to be away from her when he knew she was in the state she had been, but the misery on his face seemed to disappear a little as he joined them on the ground, sitting so close to Elara that there was no space left between them.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, seeking the same comfort from her that he had spent the past few minutes trying to give Izzy; he had used all of his own strength to give to her without hesitation, but was grateful all that same that Elara was at his side, restoring it all without even trying.

"A little freaked out still, but better now that you're both here," she admitted.

Kodiak smiled warmly at her, shifting his attention down to a small bucket of ocean water he had by his feet and a damp cloth which he was wringing out. Before Elara could ask what it was for, Kodiak reached out and began wiping away the dried blood from her face, not having to think twice about it - as if it was his responsibility to take care of every one of her needs, and he would do everything in his power to make sure she was looked after.

Elara froze momentarily - overwhelmed by his gentleness towards her after what she had just faced - and tried to fathom how it was possible that in a world consumed in constant war and violence that she always had to be the one to endure, Kodiak was always right there at the end of every defeat, offering her every kindness imaginable; like there was nothing else in the world but kindness... Elara knew it wasn't true; the world was cruel and unforgiving, but it wasn't the same world she was in when she was with Kodiak.

She gazed at him and he was too focused in making sure every, tiny freckle of blood was removed that he almost didn't even notice her looking at all. But he caught her stare, smiling as a breath escaped him, and carried on with cleaning her up.

"Did someone hurt you?" Izzy asked, not sure if she wanted to hear an answer. If someone had hurt Elara, how on earth would she be able to help? How would she be able to make her feel better or keep her safe the same way she had always done for her?

"No. No one hurt me, Izzy. I'm okay."

"Then why are you covered in blood? Did Riverly get hurt?"

"We're both fine. Look, River's over there with Uncle Wynn and Uncle Quill," she pointed over at them. "I was just a little scared when I got back here and I didn't want you to see me like that because I didn't want to make you feel afraid, too."

"But that's what family does for each other," Izzy said. "You make their fears your own. That's what Auntie Riv told me."

Elara wanted to tell Izzy that, that truth didn't apply to her; that she didn't have to be afraid of anything because that was her job - to look out for her, but as she glanced to her side and watched as Kodiak carefully scrubbed all the blood off of her hand, she knew she couldn't tell her otherwise. After all, Kodiak was setting the perfect example of what Sol had said to her.

"You're right," she said. "Family does do that; they look out for one another."

She reached her free hand out and caressed the side of the young girl's face, tucking her wild hair behind her ear. "But sometimes you get lucky."

"Lucky?" Izzy scrunched up her nose.

"Yeah, lucky," Elara said. "You have someone who takes all your fear for you so you don't have to worry; so there's none left for you to feel at all. That's what my brothers did for me when I was younger, and what Kodiak does for me now. And," she said, "what both of us do for you. So don't you worry about a thing. We're always going to be here to keep you safe."

Kodiak set the cloth down in the bucket once he had finished wiping away every trace of violence from Elara, and ran his fingers through her hair to soothe her again. Elara almost wanted to cave into his touch and do nothing other than lean into him with Izzy wrapped tightly in her arms, but all she could hear was Wynn's words in the back of her mind, and she knew there was more she had to say.

"Another thing family does is always tell the truth," she said, picking up the cloth from the bucket and bringing it forward towards the young girl. There was blood on Izzy from when she had hugged her when she first arrived back at the beach, and Elara was just as determined to get it all off of Izzy as Kodiak had been with her. "That means telling someone something, even if you're worried it will scare them, or make them upset, or they won't know what to do. You have to tell them because sometimes they can help, or it can mean you don't have to face something alone or, at the very least, it just means you have someone to sit beside you when it's all over and remind you that everything is going to be okay... Which is why I think I need to tell you something, Izzy. Something important. Because you're my family."

Elara looked over at Kodiak who subconsciously shifted closer to her, searching her eyes to figure out if she was leading to what he thought she was... Once he knew he was right, he grabbed onto her hand and did the same for Izzy, not certain who out of the three of them it would be the hardest for.

"Do you remember how I explained to you that Kodiak was alive after we found him on Neptunum?" She asked.

Izzy nodded, worried because she couldn't predict where the conversation was leading to.

"And do you know what he was doing all those months we were in the Bunker?"

"No," Izzy admitted. "But I think he was trying to find you and me."

Elara smiled, wondering if Izzy realised that Kodiak had no idea who she was before they met and that the only reason it was different for Izzy was because of all the stories she heard about him every night.

"He was working for the people on the ship," she said. "And they were working on finding a cure."

"A cure?" Izzy asked. "Like if you're sick?"

Elara looked over at Kodiak, suddenly not so sure how to explain.

"It was a little more important than that," he said. "It was to help someone if something was really bad."

"Like that time we were training in the Bunker and I got hurt with the blade? That was really bad," Izzy searched, looking to Elara for clarification.

"No, sweet girl," Elara hesitated. "Really bad as in... As in dead. Like if someone died."

"You can't help someone if they're dead," Izzy said. "If that was possible, then I would help my dad, but he died and that's why I can't save him. Just like with Uncle Ares; I know you would have saved him if that was real; if that choice was up to you, but it's not."

Elara dropped her head and drew in a sharp breath, suddenly realising that the conversation was going to take a lot more strength than she ever dared imagined. It was a good thing Kodiak was holding onto her.

"Izzy... Something happened to me when we were all on Neptunum."

"What do you mean?" She leaned away slightly, asking without wanting to hear anything in return.

"I... I died," she confessed. "Someone hurt me and I died."

Izzy shook her head profusely, bitter tears spilling out of her eyes. "No," she insisted. "Don't say that. That's not real."

"Hey, listen to me, it's okay," Elara promised her, cupping her face in between her hands and forcing her to meet her eyes, not relaxing until she knew that Izzy was paying attention - that she was listening long enough to hear that even in the darkest of all the stories Elara had told her, there was still a light at the end.

"I know it sounds scary and beyond impossible; I know you don't want to imagine it," she said, "but you've been worried about me ever since we arrived on this island, haven't you?"

Izzy hesitated for a few seconds before eventually nodding. "Everyone's been really careful with you, like you could break at any moment. And you're always tired or sore. I noticed," she said.

"I know you did," Elara replied, smoothing her hand through Izzy's hair. "Because you're so smart like that. But the reason I've been in pain is because those people on that ship did hurt me - like I told you they did; and they did kill me, Izzy, as infeasible as that sounds."

"Then how are you here?" Tears spilled out of her eyes faster than she could wipe them away but to her relief, Kodiak was there to catch all of the ones that she missed.

"Because of the cure I talked about," she said. "The combination. Kodiak was one of the people working on finding it, and he and Uncle Wynn made it real when I was hurt."

"How were you hurt?"

"...I was shot," she confessed. "Right here on my stomach, which is why I was in pain the other day when you tried to hug me, remember? But Kodiak fixed up my body and kept me safe until he could save me; until he could give me the cure."

"You were really dead? You're sure?"

"Yeah," Elara said, knowing that if Izzy had spared a glance over at Kodiak instead of looking at her, she would have seen all the confirmation she was after. "I was with Uncle Ares for a little while until it was time for me to come back. And I had to come back because you were still here."

"...I don't understand what all of this means."

"It's a lot to take in," Kodiak assured her. "And what happened to Elara is something that people tend to call a miracle. You know what a miracle is?"

Izzy wiped at her eyes and nodded. "My dad always said I was his miracle after mom died," she said. "And if that's true, then I know what my miracle is: it's you and Elara."

Kodiak felt the breath seize in his chest momentarily and a heavy relief bring warmth to his eyes. "Yeah," he whispered, grabbing onto Izzy and pulling him to sit between his legs, wrapping his arms fondly around her which noticeably eased some of the fear she was weighed down by. "That's what a miracle is."

"But this kind of miracle isn't one we're going to have again," Elara said. "Being able to save someone who died."

"Why not?"

"Because there were only two of the cures made, and they've both been used, and we can't make anymore."

"But... What if something happens to you again? What if someone hurts you? Does that mean I'm going to lose you for good?"

"That's not going to happen," Kodiak said, squeezing tightly onto Izzy. "I won't let it."

"And we're not telling you this because anything bad is going to happen, or because we're scared that it might," Elara told her. "We're saying this because keeping the truth from you about what happened to me is doing more harm than good. I didn't want to tell you because I thought it would make you afraid, but now I know how brave you are - and smart - and I know that you'll trust us when I tell you that the three of us are going to be fine. Right?"

Izzy nodded and leaned against Kodiak, snuggling close to him. "Yep," she answered, smiling as she closed her eyes for a few seconds, overwhelmed in peace. "I trust you guys."

"Soon enough we'll be home - at Basilisk," Kodiak said, slinging one of his arms around Elara so she could also move closer. "And we'll move back into the Quarters - that big building at camp - and we'll make a room from you right down the hall from us, and it'll just be our people there. No more bad guys."

"And," Elara said, "your room will be the perfect distance for you to sneak through the hall late at night and crawl into our bed like you used to do with me all the time in the Bunker."

Izzy giggled at the reminder, playfully swatting Elara's hands away as they tried to poke at her sides.

"And we can spend our day teaching you all of our skills-"

"Sovereign skills?"

"Yes," Kodiak laughed. "Sovereign skills, and we'll go on walks outside of camp, and you'll have plenty of time to play with Harlow and one day, a brother or sister."

Elara looked up at Kodiak, sudden still again even though she swore she could feel her blood circulating fast inside of her veins. "Another child?" She asked. "Together?"

Kodiak curved his hand over the back of her head, letting his fingers trail through her hair, and he looked at her with pure love - nothing else. "Whenever you're ready," he said. "Everything, anything - whatever... I want to have it with you."

Elara nodded, unable to find any words that would feel as perfect as what he had said, and simply settled for leaning her head against his shoulder, running one of her hands through Izzy's hair who was opposite her, and tried to picture what the rest of her life was going to look like. Impossibly, she found herself believing that against all odds, it was going to turn out looking quite beautiful in the end. 

Four // Part Five
I know what my miracle is: it's you and Elara.

Like there was nothing else in the world but kindness... Elara knew it wasn't true; the world was cruel and unforgiving, but it wasn't the same world when she was with Kodiak.

I honestly loved those lines SO much. 

I love all these conversations between the characters tees and their dreams of a future. I wish I could give away the ending right now, but I won't! This was a fun one to write, even if it's probably incredibly cheesy. I think that's why I loved writing Elara and Kodiak scenes so much... Also, I really want my own Kodiak, haha.

The Zoras will forever be one of my favourite families and I love every chance to get to write about them! Hope you guys found this as cute as I did! ♡

07/08/21.