Its January, and I still haven't told Derek I love him. But I feel strange somehow....

I don't really know what or how that this strangeness is. But sometimes my head hurts, or even my stomach.

I would even catch myself glancing at the clock for some reason. Which very strange...

Sometimes I can't even sleep at night I used to here. It like I mentally want to sleep but physically I can not. I haven't told Derek's parents yet.

I found myself faking a smile at them. It seems to work but then again... why would they believe such a thing? Can't they see the that somethings wrong with me but when they ask me if I'm ok I hear myself saying yes, I'm fine.

But yet I'm not...

I would hug my kite any chance I had. I still cleaned the house but then I would go up into my room. Which I would then clean but soon remain in my bed hugging my kite. It was until I heard Derek and his parents get back will I then got downstairs and put my mask on as they walk in so the don't see what pain or how I feel inside.

For it seems this masquerade is working on them... and its working well indeed...

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Oh my gods... a short chapter??? Will I, the author,ever redeem myself? Possibly... who knows??...