"Appu...." Arya's voice came as a gasp "Appu... Good, you picked up. I was...I...." There was something wrong with her voice. She was breathing too hard, like panting. "I...think I am in trouble. Big trouble. I think I am dying." She blurted out. "I think I am going to really die....Appu."

I grabbed the phone from Adi's hands. "Arya... What's wrong?"

"I am going to die," she repeated.

"Where are you?" I gasped, panicked. She did not sound right. She went just silent. "Arya," I called again. To my shock, she began to giggle. "This is just fucked up," she said. "I will die like that."

"Can you tell me what happened?" I asked a bit annoyed now. She calls me out of nowhere and tells me she is dying and not say anything.

"I ate something. And my heart is beating like crazy.... I think I am having an attack. I may be overdosing or something...." She said. "Darshan gave me drugs.... LCD.... What the hell is that called?"

I jumped up. What the actual...hell!!!!

"Arya?" I yelled at the phone.

"Darshan is passed out.... I.... can't walk. My heartbeat is high. And I don't feel well. I feel bad. Very, very bad...Appu...." She has never addressed me so affectionately....

"God. Arya, where are you?" I asked, desperate. I wanted to make sure she is okay. To have her in my arms immediately at this very moment. And I could murder Darshan, with my bare hands.

"I am going to die, Appu..." Arya whispered very cutely and earnestly to the phone.

"Tell me where you are," I said. "I will come there."

"Darshan's house."

Of course.

Wait... Darshan's house? At this time? I checked the time. It was past midnight... It was like someone shot my heart. I took a sharp breath in. First things first. Arya was in danger. "Okay... drink water. Lots of it. Can you do that for me, babe?" I asked. "Please...." But she went silent. "Arya?" I called. "Arya?" No reply. The phone was still on. She must have passed out.

Fear gripped me tightly. She is okay, right? She will be, right....

"Nikhil...." Adi touched my hand.

"I need to get to Bangalore. Now...." I told him.

"What happened...."

"I just...." I moved my hand through my hair. I remembered Soumya. I remembered Arjun... Not Arya. Not my Arya....

"I need to get to Bangalore now. As soon as possible." I yelled at Adi.

"Hey, Relax. We can check for flight tickets. Something must be available."

It was Nikhil. Nikhil was at the door. I sat up on the bathroom floor. The bathroom smelled of my vomit. My clothes had vomit stains.

No....

Nikhil cannot see me like this.

"You give her drugs...." Nikhil asked Darshan with anger, so much anger that I was not sure Nikhil was ever capable of. Before I could register, Nikhil punched Darshan in the face. Darshan stumbled back... Nikhil did not stop and came forward and pushed Darshan down and punched him again. I got up and went to the door of the bathroom.

"Where is she?" He punched again....

It felt like Darshan was unable to protect himself. Nikhil did not give him enough space. He kept punching him.

I wanted to murder the guy. But out of the corner of my eye, I saw Arya. She was standing looking at us I stopped punching the guy and stared at her. I was seeing her after months. It felt like my heart will burst.

Oh...No.... He saw me...

I did not want him to see this disaster.

I ran.

She ran out of the open door. What the hell? I jumped up to follow her.

I was out on the streets. Have to escape. Have to avoid him.... How is he here...

"Arya...." He called after me.

I ran further.

She was in the middle of the road. There was a truck coming her way. "Arya, look out..." I yelled at her. She stopped. Turned to look at the truck. And froze. She just froze looking at the truck.

There was time for her to move. Time for her to escape. But she did not. She just stood looking at the truck.

End....

The end was always peaceful.

Now, I do not have to suffer anymore. Now I don't need to run anymore.

I waited.

I blinked at the honking truck.

In the next split second, Nikhil launched himself at me and hauled me out of the way of the truck.

She protested. She struggled in my arms. "Let go of me," she yelled. People were gathering near us. "Arya..." I hissed into her ear as I held her firm against me. She softly let go...Gave up the struggles, and sank into my arms.

I held her close.

"What has become of you..." I asked.

She did not reply to that. She clutched my shirt and pressed herself closer. I realised she was crying.

People were now staring at us. I softly grabbed her wrist and pushed her back away. I gasped to see that her wrist was covered in slashes. Scars. "Arya... this..."

She pulled her hand free from my grasp and hid it behind her body. And looked at me as if to say 'you left'. But I wanted to say, even if I left, this was no state to be in. I was angry. I was even repulsed by the state she is in... If she left me she should be happier. I left her for her happiness. Not to destroy herself along with that guy...

I grabbed her hand again, this time softly. "Come..." I told her.

I am not letting her back in that hell hole. And she obediently followed me as I led her away from there.

We went to a hotel. An expensive one. Nikhil did not have any other place to stay anymore. When we were in the room, he asked me if I need clothes to change in to. I looked down at my clothes. Yes, I did need clothes to change to. Nikhil had a backpack.

I took a bath and changed into Nikhil's t-shirt and pants.

I vaguely remembered calling Nikhil last night. Up on taking the drugs, after an hour, I felt very sick. It was probably a higher dose for a first-timer. My heart rate was high and I felt like I may die.

But somehow, I was glad that happened.

Nikhil was here.

Nikhil was here.

When I came out, he was calling someone. "She is okay.... Yeah, I may stay here for a couple of days."

So we are staying. That was okay, it was a weekend anyway. I went and sat down on the bed. He turned to me. "I will call you later." He cut the call.

She was looking up at me with big round eyes. I felt nervous. I felt.... different. I felt like scooping her into my arms and kissing her. I felt like scolding her to death. I felt like making her beg to take me back. I felt like begging to her to take me back. I wanted to make love to her; fuck her till she cries out my name; sob pressed to her naked chest; confess how much I missed her. I felt a thousand things at once, and I realised only Arya can make me feel so many of emotions at once.

"I kissed Darshan," she told me. And pain hit me.

I saw him clutch the window still a bit too harder. Hold in his breath. Keep his eyes on the ground. But that was all.

Nikhil did not say anything.

A moment passed. He was not saying anything. It was like he was struggling internally but did not want to react.

After a while, he asked. "Are you not hungry?"

Actually, I was starving. "I am."

"Let's go to eat food." He turned around.

"In these clothes?" I looked down.

"You can't help it, right?" He asked. "It's better than what you were in before." He said. I nodded and followed him outside.

We ate at an A2B nearby. It was crowded. Loud. People were chattering everywhere. It felt odd. Off...

While paying the bill, I was looking at the Pharmacy nearby to the hotel. Nikhil saw me looking. "Do you need anything?" he asked me. I looked at him. Actually, an emotion was forming in my mind ever since he came near me. It was irresistible now. It did not have any logic. It was pure instinct and animalistic.

"You need something," I told him. There was confusion in his eyes. "If we are staying together for a couple of days," I said. Comprehension dawned on his face. He walked over to the pharmacy and I saw him pocketing a packet of condoms. He came back to me.

She had a naughty smile.

I know this does not make any sense. But as soon as we were back in the room, she turned to me and came closer to me. And touched my jaw, gently... And there was so much desire in her eyes that I could not move. And then her lips touched mine. And we were kissing. Bodies pressed together. The hunger of months between us. And everything felt so right. Arya's smell. Arya's touch.... My Arya. Everything was so right.

We fell to bed. Her breath was unsteady. She waited as I removed my pants and she slipped out of hers. It took me a second to put on the condom as it was my first time. She looked up. But I was down on her the next second.

The first time was clumsy...and quick. I was done in a minute.

Arya blinked.

Embarrassing. Totally embarrassing.

Fell away and covered my head with a pillow. "That was the end of it?" Arya asked. I could die just now and not regret it.

"Eh.... I can do better," I mumbled.

"Then do better...." Arya demanded and climbed on top of me. I was startled, but before I can react, in a flash she removed her t-shirt and came down to kiss me. There was so much wildfire in that kiss, I cannot describe it any other way. So much anger, so much hunger, so much need, so much rebellion. It was as if yelling at me that 'you are mine'. I was ready in no time.

I flipped her over and went in. This time, trying to delay it. She panted.... Huffed, gasped. Once, I took her name, unable to hold back. A whisper, "Arya..."

And then I climaxed again.

I fell away. And we stayed silent. Just silence. I did not know when I fell asleep. When I woke up some time, Arya was sitting up, looking through the window, at the night sky. And I lay looking at her. And I realised that I will always be in love with her. Till the day I die.

I was not satisfied. My body ached for more for Nikhil. Dawn was coming, but it was still dark outside. I saw that he has woken up. He lay looking at me.

He lifted a hand and traced my back. It tickled. We smiled at each other. No words. I lay down beside him and kissed his chest. He sucked a breath.

"I want more...' I mumbled.

He chuckled and tried to turn me over. But I pushed his hand away and got on top of him. There was curiosity on his face. I gave him my naughty smile and pushed his hands away firmly and placed them on the bed. He chuckled. I grinded myself against him. He hissed.

There was a fire in her eyes. A sense of revenge. And she would not let my hands touch her. It was as if she was punishing me for leaving her. This was torture. She was just teasing me. Just rubbing it over.

I tried to touch her. But she took my hand and firmly pinned to the bed, with the flicker of that fire in her eyes. Holly shit! It was so hot that I almost was done. But she got me in her and began to move. So sexy. I arched up.... I breathed unsteadily. I was dying. She was killing me....

With dawn coming we both climaxed.

I woke up and for a second, I could not believe he was here indeed. But I was sleeping on his chest. So, I touched his ear. Traced his eyebrow. He woke up... Looked at me. "Good morning." He said in a husky voice.

"It's past noon," I mumbled.

"Shit!. Don't you have to go to the office?" He asked.

"Does not matter." I settled my arms on his arm and looked up, "it's so late anyway."

"I am hungry. Let's go down and eat." He said.

"I don't want to go down." I had nothing appropriate to wear than Nikhil's t-shirt and sweatpants.

"I will go get something parcel." He got up. He got dressed before me and checked his wallet. I was waiting for the right moment to speak up.

"My things are at Darshan's..." I said.

Nikhil looked at me.

For the past few hours. I did not think of the future. I did not know what the status of our relationship was. Will she come with me to Trivandrum... Should I come back here? Are we even together now? But whatever it is, I knew one thing is that I was not letting her near Darshan anymore.

"Eh... I will go get them for you." I told her.

She got up. "Eh.... I want to go check on him."

I went strict. "No," I said.

"What 'no'." She asked

"You stay away from him from now on." I stepped closer.

"Why are you deciding that?" She snapped. I could detect anger and that fire again.

"I think I have the authority to decide that," I said.

"How?" She asked. "What are we now?"

And I got silenced. I did not know. Honestly, we had been doing it multiple times for the past two days, to the point that I feel I may die of doing it too much. But...what exactly are we.

"Okay. I will come with you. You will see him but under my supervision."

"Can you not treat me like a child," She hissed.

"I am not treating you like a child," I said. "I am treating you like a person who took drugs. And who did this...." I grabbed her left hand and lifted it up. It hurt my soul to see her hand intentionally mutilated like that. Why would anyone do that? I could not even imagine....

Arya forced her hand out of my grasp. And looked at me with fierce eyes.

"Why would you do this?" I could not help but ask.

She sank back to the bed, crouched down, looked so fragile and vulnerable. She looked guilty and scared. It was heartbreaking for me to watch.

I sat down beside her. "Arya...." I tried to touch her hand. But scooted away from my hand. And she sat like that for a while. I did not know what to do. So I got up. "I will get food," I said. And walked out.

When I came back, she was on the bed, in the same place. But biting her nails, looking slightly hysterical. "Come eat food," I said opening the packet. She looked up. "I am not that hungry." She said.

"Even then, can't you come and eat? I already ate it." And it's odd that she is not hungry. We have not eaten since yesterday evening.

She came to eat but gave up in two bites. She was kind of to irritable too. It was odd...

After lunch, I told her we can go to Darshan's

"I will go alone." She said.

"You don't even have money or your phone."

"Then just drop me there."

"Why do you want to go alone so much?" This was way too freakish. "What's that you are hiding?" Clear guilt was in her eyes. "What is it?" I asked.

"Can't you just let me be?" She yelled at me. "Why do you have to control everything? Who are you even to control? I need to speak to Darshan alone."

"Fine. Whatever." I yelled. I had enough of this 'who are you to me' comments. I am nothing? After the past two days, I am nothing?? "Come, I will drop you to your beloved Darshan's house. You can go do drugs or..." Wait!. Suddenly comprehension dawned on me. "Arya, are you addicted?" I stepped back in shock. "Are you? Addicted to drugs? Is that what this s about?"

She looked scared. But she mumbled.... "No."

Oh! Thank god!

"Not to drugs." She said.

"Huh?" I asked.

She clutched her head and sat down on the bed. "My head is splitting open. I need Darshan," she mumbled. "He knows what I want right now... Get me Darshan."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She did not reply. And tears welled in her eyes. But comprehension dawned on me slowly. When I was at Darshan's house, when I was hitting him, I could smell weed on him slightly. Then I never thought MY Arya could have taken it as well. But now I understood. Arya was addicted to Marijuana.

"Weed is it?" He asked.

The disappointment was clear in his eyes. He just stared at me for a few seconds as if to ask 'how can you drop this low'. He did not even speak for a few seconds. And was looking so lost. This was what I dreaded.

I felt too ashamed to even apologise.

An apology is not going to change anything anyway. I am what I am now. And I did not deserve Nikhil anymore. "Drop me off to Darshan's and you can leave," I said, quietly. "Sorry I called you. I would not call you anymore."

He kept staring at me, a bit angrily, still with that disappointment. And he asked. "Is this the happy life you wanted?"

I looked up. But I had no answer.

"The thing on your hand. You did it yourself, right?" He asked.

I did not reply. I could not.

"I leave and you start mutilating yourself."

"It's not because of you," I mumbled.

"What?"

"I did it before as well."

He got confused. "What do you mean?"

"Since the last three years."

"You did it even when you were with me?"

"That day when Darshan was saying he knows something about me that you don't...he was speaking about this." Now that secrets were out in the open, I wanted to get everything out. And once it was out, my chest felt lighter. Nikhil looked more betrayed. He just sat down on the chair. Pale.

"So....all those cut marks...."

"I did it..."

Nikhil looked up with tears. "Why?" he asked. "I don't understand..." I could not reply immediately. He was crying. "Explain to me." He repeated, "I cannot understand why someone will willingly cut themselves. I don't think you did it to kill yourself."

I shook my head, "Not to die."

"Then why?" he asked.

I picked on my skin...., kept my eyes down. "Because I could not cry. Because sometimes tears were not enough. Because I could not breathe sometimes.... And because this was the only way to feel alive sometimes."

His eyes narrowed.

"I know it is messed up," I said. "But this is the only way I can live."

He sat thinking for a while. "No." he finally said, "this should not be the only way you can live." He got up and came to me. He took me into a hug. I was surprised. I did not think he will even lay a finger on me after that. But he gently ruffled my hair.

"Let's seek help...." he said gently... "You.... You never got to process Arjun's loss properly. I was always too lighthearted about it. But now, seeing Adi after Soumya, only now I realise how horrible it might have been for you. To have seen your brother's death. To experience your parents... Now, this..." he sighed. "Arya...." His touch was so soothing, so comforting. I wished I could be forever in that embrace. "Arya.... Let's go for therapy...." He mumbled. "We can change this cutting habit and your addiction. Please.... For me? Hm?"

Anything for him. Anything....

I looked up. "Promise you won't leave me again?" I asked.

"I promise." He said. "God, it was hell...."

I gently smiled. I reached up. His fingers threaded through my hair. We kissed.

"I cannot come with you to New York," I had to tell Darshan. He looked like he knew that was going to be my answer. "But I want you to go. I want you to do anything that would make you happy. And I wish you quit all these habits. I am going to." He nodded.

Nikhil looked like he could punch Darshan again. When we walked down from Darshan's, Nikhil asked, "Will you be okay? Not being on his suicide watch?"

"A broken pillar cannot hold a roof. I have to take care of myself for now... And you are more important."

A week later, Nikhil and I arrived at Nikhil's house. His parents came outside to greet us. They were surprised to see me.

"Amma, Papa..." Nikhil said, "This can be a bit too sudden, but.... Please help us get married. As soon as possible."

(This is the end of 3rd Part of the Novel. Only a few more chapters left. Hope you like the story so far. Please leave comments. Thank you :)