(From a machine at a college dorm:)
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

Hi. This is John:
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If  you  are  my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If  you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

(Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms wind milling at incredible speeds! Will he make it
in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.

"Hi. Now you say something."

"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep." "Beep" "Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"

(From my Japanese friend in Toronto)
He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!

"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."

"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.'

"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.  They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with
me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."

"This is not an answering machine, this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and
I'll think about returning your call."

"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

"Hi, this is George.  I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."

"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."

"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message."

"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and
immoral purposes.
There is no charge for this initial consultation.  However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly
at the sound of the tone. Thank you."

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

_________________________________________

Answer to Last Times Scary  Riddle; Mr.Thomas as he cannot be checking exam papers on the first day of school.

Scary  Riddle of the Day;

Baggy Suit

A crime has been committed at Freemont Street. The main suspect is a man named Sean Baker. It was said that a man had been walking along the pathway when he was suddenly shot in the stomach. The suspect had brown hair, blue eyes and wore a baggy Armani suit just like Sean Baker's. Sean was asked to tell the story right from the beginning. "Well," said Sean, "I was just hanging around the park when I saw this man walking along the pathway. Suddenly, a guy came up from behind him and shot him! I ran home as fast as I could. The policemen asked him to give a description of the murderer. "He had a red mustache, red hair and a baggy Armani suit on." "I think this man is telling a lie," said one of the policemen.

How did he know?

Guess The Song:

The truth is I'm high your love is feelings
And I don't know what to do
Do I hold my breath as I wait for you?
Can I afford to compromise
These feelings and save my mind?
I feel my head rush as I think of you
And try to put myself to use
Left there in time don't always heal the wounds
It's crazy it must be love
Should I hold on the past?
Will you let me crash?
Should I hold on the past?

Answer will be given next Chapter, Good luck!