How Can I Say This Without Crying?

So I've Been Depressed Since I Was 8 I Am Almost 13 And Im Gonna Tell You Guys Whats Happening To Me......

BTW Not Even Lilith Or Any MMS Members Know This...

Like I've Said I've Been Depressed For 4 Years Almost 5,I Dont Really Know When It Started But It Started When I Was Geeting Bullied A Lot But I Didnt Really Mind The Bullying Because I Didnt Care About Those People Really.....

I Started Getting Depressed When Some Of My Family Started Bullying Me.....It Started As Like Little Things Until It Started Turning Into More And More.....It Hurt Me Bit By Bit When I Kept Getting Called Names And I Know What You Guys Are Gonna Say

"They're Only Words They Dont Hurt You Physically."

It Actually Did Hurt Me Not Physically But Mentally And Emotionally...And It Hurt Even More.

Physical Pain Is Something You Can Condone And Heal From...

While Emotional And Mental Pain Hurt You Diffrently Then Physical Pain It Can Hurt You And Make You Hurt Yourself Mentally By Saying Things That You Shouldnt Say Too Yourself and If You Cant Handle The Emotional And Mental Pain You Eventually Hurt Yourself Physically But I Dont Wanna Be Specific..

So You Get Hurt With What I Call The Trifecta.

Emotional:People Call You Names Or Anything That Hurts You.
Mental:You Call Yourself The Same Names The People Are Calling You.
Physical:You Hurt Yourself Physically.
Repeat.

Ive Been Going Through Two Of The Trifecta But I Dont Wanna Say Anything..

So After All Of That Bullying That My Family Has Been Doing To Me...Now My Friends Are Making Me The Punching Bag Of The Group....

They Now Start Hurting Me By Punching Me Or By Doing The Thing That Ive Been Doing Since I Was 8......

But The Stupid Mistakes Ive Made Are The Worst....

1:I Bottled Up My Feelings And Didnt Tell Them That They Should Stop

2:I Didnt Say Anything To A Trusted Family Member

So Now Im Stuck In A Situation That I Cant Get Out Off

So Know Is The Part Ive Been Trying To Tell You Guys

If You Are Going Through The Same Thing That Is Happening To Me Or Worse Please Im Asking You.. Too Try And Talk To Someone That You Trust Or Can Talk Too Because I Dont Want Anyone To Go Through The Same Things That Are Happening To Me And If Any Of You Are Hurting Youself.....

Please Stop. You Need To Be Strong But Not For Others But For Yourself. Please You Need To Be Strong, Because I Know That All Of You Are Special In Your Own Way.

And Anyone That Doesnt Have Anyone To Talk Too Or Is A Horrible Position In Life.....Please Be Strong For Yourself And Be Brave. If You Guys Need Help Or Want Someone To Talk Too Then Dont Be Shy

I Wanna Help Every Single Person I Can Help.

This Is TWT Signing Off.