i wrote this one a couple weeks ago... enjoy :)

---

i thought i'd gotten

all my tears out

last night

but maybe i only

rid myself

of air

because i can't

breathe

i know i keep

saying that

but it's the only

comparison

that rings true

i feel

suffocated

i forgot how to

say

"you're welcome"

my mother told me

that someone

was going to die

today

and i said

"nice"

is this who i've

become?

i don't want

this to be

who i've

become

can i slip into

someone else's

skin

for the day

for a little while

i think i'd be

more comfortable

in anyone else's

but mine

i'm so tired

of looking in the

mirror

i'm so tired

of wishing i was

someplace else

because you shouldn't

want

to be someplace else

when you live in

a good house

with

good people

and you're

happy

or you're

supposed to be

at least

i keep looking for

people

to trust

but i don't let them in

i keep

waiting

for friends

but the truth is that

i don't have enough

love

to give everyone

enough

even if i give my own

portion

away too

the way i did

so many years ago

it's sad to

think about

sometimes

when i've had a good day

but on other times

it's just reality

i knew it was getting

bad

when my mother

asked me

if i was okay

i'd never been bad

at hiding it

before

but i guess everyone

reaches their

breaking point

i've certainly

passed

mine

yet here i am

writing the same old

poems

singing the same old

songs

hurting in all the same

places

just a little bit more

do i really want

love

or do i just want

somebody

i can tell

everything

to?

do i even want

that?

i'm weary

i'm done

i don't want to

keep secrets

anymore

but that seems to be

all that i'm good for

i'm like a

treasure chest

and nobody has

the key

i want someone to

find

the key

i want someone to

want

to find

the key

please

i feel like i'm

begging

i knew it was bad

when i turned to

the sky

and prayed to

whatever is

out there

for happiness

because nothing

down here

brings me

happiness

anymore

last night while i

cried

i told myself to

let go

but i clearly haven't

let go

because i'm still

here

writing about

me

thinking about

her

wishing i was

someplace else

nothing has changed

my perception

has not changed

my life

has not changed

i

have not changed

i want to change

so badly

i want to

change

in the end

i'm not going to

change

i'm going to

close up my

words

and hide them

away

hope that someday

they bring someone

peace

i hope the next

person

who sees me broken

has the balls and the

glue

to fix me up

i hope that someone

makes me happy

i hope for a lot of

things

but nothing ever

comes true

i think i'm done

hoping