happy valentine's day

---

i guess i

fell for you

it was hard

and it was fast

and i didn't quite

know

just what i was

doing

when i looked at

your name

on my screen

and realized

i was

smiling

i didn't

want to

i didn't

want this

i didn't

ask for another

person in my

life that i

love more than

myself

i didn't

pray

for another

soul to take

care of

who would just

leave me

broken and

hollow

like the rest

but there you

were

or your name

at least

and your beautiful

words

just traced

their way

across my mind

and i couldn't

stop

thinking

i couldn't stop

thinking about how

maybe this would

be good

and maybe i had

found it

even though

that was stupid

and i'd known

you

for less than

one hundred

and sixty eight

hours

but i would've

died for you

still

because that is

simply

who i am

and when your

words were

etched into my

mind

and your pains

traced into my

soul

and your fingers

gently

plucked

my heartstrings

the same way

you pluck the

strings

on your guitar

i knew i was

caught

in your magical

mystical

web

and i wasn't

going to be

getting loose

anytime soon

so i tried

i really tried

i tried harder than

i have ever tried

for you

even though it was

a lost cause

and even though

you could do

better

because i'm a

shitty person

and you deserved

more than

what i could

give you

and i cared too

much

watching message

after message

appear before my

face

was like a drug to me

addictive

i got high off of your

words

in a way that

i never thought i

could

they were simple

words

too

just musings

about life

your life

my life

whatever it was

and yet i

yearned

to hear more

read more

i wanted more

more than i

could have

more than what was

possible

for us

because in the

end

you will just be

another name on my

list of names

of people who still

hold pieces

of me

of my heart

and i will just be

another girl

that you will never

write about