I have to go to open house for my school which is just Me getting my schedule and meeting my teachers. My sister and I were in the same school last year, but she was a grade above me. now she's going to a school just for her grade. so she has open house tomorrow and I have it today at 3 o'clock p.m. (est)

I tried texting my friends asking them what time they were going to be there. they still haven't answered.

I'm just scared because I'm going by myself with my mom. I'm going to pick up my schedule and find my teachers. I don't want to meet my teachers, because I'm socially awkward and I'm anti-social and people at my school are really annoying. I don't want to see them.

school starts August 6th which is on a Friday.

I don't like people at my school. They start drama and everything and they're  so problematic. I just don't want to see them again. I'm not going to talk to a few of them.

I didn't talk to people like over the summer because they were just busy. I don't want to text them really. my so-called friends or whatever just basically dont speak to me. I know it's bad for me say that and I try to ignore them, but they're kind of my friends. I've been with them for the past 8 years and I just can't  get rid of them.

I just want to know at least one friend will be there, so I can meet up with them and see them. it'll make me feel better.

I can reunite with them a day before school. we can make plans to meet up, when school happens and that way it won't be awkward and everything.

I just...I don't like the thought of being in a classroom and there is no one I'm friends with in that class. I'll have to make new friends all over again and I don't want to make new friends.

I have the ones I like right now. it's just my anxiety is so terrible and as you're reading this I can't even type it , I'm using the little speaker thing and I'm like shaking and it's horrible. I just can't deal with this!

I just had to deal with this year and then I'm being home schooled if I want. I'm only going this year because it's my eighth grade year. it'll be my last year of middle school.

I will graduate middle school and then I have my 8th grade dance - which I want to attend.

I want to go to those things . I just want to avoid drama. I have tried avoiding it last year, but it popped up, but not as much as  6th grade. beyond that, I just...I want everything to be okay.

I want it to go good and have no drama. But it's life, so there will be drama, because again - it's just life. there's no way I can control it.

last year I cried at school and the year before, I cried again. I cried a lot in 6th grade, because I was just an emotional person and a sensitive person. Plus, a bunch of drama happened before and people were out to get me.

In 7th grade, I didn't really pay attention to what people said to me. near the end of the year, people made fun of my appearance and I noticed that I wasn't "as pretty" as the other girls. I thought I had to change myself. people were starting arguments with my friends/with me and i wanted to help my friends. I stood up for my friends but people kept making fun of my appearance.

I honestly can't with people like that at my school. they're so disgusting and have the worst personalities. my principal is ok, she's not mean. She's nice.

I signed up for chorus, computer apps, art, and I have theatre arts. (Update: I got chorus all year and same with theater arts. the first semester of theater arts was a class and the second was helping with the school play)

Theater arts is just basically like acting and stuff and I hope i have it for the first semester and stuff . Im really excited have a new choir teacher and she Is also the new Theater Arts teacher.

I'm going to meet her. I want to have a friend there with me to talk to and stuff. I don't know... I just want someone there with me. I want a friend who is in all my classes.

I remember on the first day of school last year. A Girl that I hadn't talked to - she didn't talk to me two years ago was like 'Hey' and then we made funny faces at each other during the first class.

She became a close friend and I found out she was in every single one of my classes, except my last connections class. I'm just afraid of having some classes and having no one, that I know in that class. Its scary and causes me to stress out about it.

I don't like when new people come to my school...i don't know it just bugs me for some reason. although I shouldn't judge them..

I have to go now. oh no. Bye!

- jennifer // words :: 1000