A/N
Lol.
Funny...
*Laughs to myself like a weirdo*
...........

*Shows mirror to brother*
Hey look! This picture is uuuuuuuggly.
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Do you ever read so something so stupid, and you're just like, 'What?'
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In the instruction on my curling iron, it says not to use when sleeping. Well dang flabbit I was wanting to do that!
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I don't understand how I can get so much joy out of covering my pets with a blanket and watching the lump move around.
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Every group of people has that one person that ruins all the cute pics.
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I can't believe bacteria can intrude my body without permission. It makes me sick.
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Over Facebook;
Mom: Clean your room!
Me: Haha. Unfollowed and blocked.
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Don't wear a candy bracelet, I might eat your arm.
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Smiling and pretending to read when no money falls out of your birthday card.
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Me: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: I don't know, can you?
Me: I will poop on your desk.
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*Me, makes a joke, class laughs, smiles for half an hour, proud*
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If you pull out my earphones I'll pull out your lungs.
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'Mom I can't go to school today, I'm ugly.'
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Christmas is canceled because you told Santa that you've been good all year, and he died laughing.
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Reality called, I hung up.
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Dear 'cool people', they didn't make a candy after you, did they?
Sincerely, Nerds.
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That awkward moment when you finish a math problem and it's not even one of the choices.
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I wonder how police on bikes arrest people?
Police: You're under arrest. Get in the basket.
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That moment when the teacher's yelling at your friend and the whole class is serious, but you're sitting there trying your hardest not to laugh.
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Note to self: Soap is not a substitute for ranch.
No no no no no.
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Once upon a time I used to go to sleep, until figured out what the Internet is.
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The most beautiful line.
'But, I love you!'
The most painful line.
'I love you, but...'
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The walk of shame in the store to put something back when your mom says no.
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Green eyes,
Blue skies,
Pop tart in my butt,
This makes no sense you can stop reading.