Oh, yes. Tremble in fear, people. They're out there. Our worst nightmare.

The weaponised mullet.

Mullets with guns. Mullets with swords. There have been mullets with bazookas, grenade launchers and probably even thermonuclear devices. Whether it be Van Damme:-

Norris:-

Gibson:-

or even Arnie (I'm looking at you, Conan):-

-no 80s action hero was complete without the shoulder length locks required to dazzle the bad guys while simultaneously enticing the distressed damsels. Hell, they even snuck into the 90s:-

And don't you wish they hadn't? I'd close my eyes too, Nick.

But perhaps the quintessential example of follicularly blessed, musclebound, dialogue-challenged paragons of the silver screen was a certain Mr Sylvester Stallone, aka John Rambo. The nebulous, larval, prototype mullet—the mullet-lite, if you like—was there in First Blood, but by the time Rambo II rolled around, Sly (or his hairdresser at least) had nailed the brief. The fully formed beast was 100% present and accounted for, in all its sweat-soaked, high-gloss glory/horror.

Special mention should go to Rambo's pioneering use of the headband, a key component of a substantial sub-section of the mullet's oeuvre. After all, when pointing your AK-47 at terrorists, or taking out a low-flying jet, the last thing you want is hair in your eyes.

I was going to go with a solid 5 on the Mullet-O-Meter™, for a thoroughly respectable, committed, middle-of-the-road effort, but given big Syl could still no doubt kick my arse, even at his now quite advanced age, let's make it a 6.