I thought I was better

The way I treat my friends

But maybe I was never better than them

I throw away souls, like they're porcelain plates

Dainty and simple, too easy to break

And yet I'm the cold, heartless thing

The one who was never deserving

Of love, kindness, and hope

Blindly offer a rope

As I dangle over the cliff

Look at my sins

This is where they brought me

And everyone will forget me

But I will always think of me

But my eyes are bleeding

And my ears are stuffed

My anger seething

Soon they'll call my bluff

See past my scruff

Tear me apart

And I was always too emotional

Too devotional

I'm a statue, strong and tall

But I don't back down

Until my pieces scatter and fall

I crave attention,

I crave redemption,

But who am I to ask for angels?

When I can't even stop this ramble:

Of hate, death, and destruction

I'm too self-centred,

a caged eruption

I panic about my lies, yes

I'm cold, not shy

I breathe pain until it's a steel whip

And blood will always follow

I shatter beneath the featherlight touch

Yet I'll always make the trip

To hell.

It's where I belong, anyways

I'm horrible

I'm slightly bearable

I never cared

To consistently be there

For anyone who needed it

––And am I worthy?

Of the ones who care,

Of the ones who ask

Or hold my chair

While I search blindly in the cafeteria

On the very last day of my hysteria?

Why can't I breathe?

Why can I never see

The true good right in front of me?

I scream!

And I will always scream, 

Even if my mind ignores me.

Cold, cold

Along in the darkness

It reeks of mold

––My memories in the starkness

I deserve this darkness

It welcomes me

With terror and blindness

I turn the key

To my sentence

My soul is the definition of evanescence

And I am but a sentence;

A destructive conscience

That will soon reach its end,

And who could ever love a friend?

Lovely lovely moon fish love

Tumbling down from the stars above

And your scales are silver streams 

The psychedelics of my dreams

As I slowly fall asleep

From a pastel nightmare come to be.