T/W for mentions of depression, self-harm, anxiety, etc.

–––

Do you know how it feels to feel like you're rotting in a black cave

That knows all of your secrets?

Do you know how it feels to have lines on your wrists

And want them to sink deeper, bleed deeper,

till the pain reaches your mind and strikes it,

cleaves it,

right in half?

Do you know how it feels to hate yourself the most,

And spend hours standing in front of your reflection,

Screaming until the tears pass and the sobs dry?

Until the shrieking ravens, scraping their talons

In the cavity of your heart, snap loose in an explosion of stars?

Do you know how it feels to wake up and wish you hadn't?

And do you know how it feels to curl up in the dark,

Upon the dead of exhaustion,

Your mind limp from being stretched too far?

(My brain's not a rubber band. Trust me, I know)

Do you know how it feels to go months

Feeling like the only person in the world

Who knows,

who knows,

who knows––

––Is you?

Do you know how it feels to reach for hope,

Bask in it, cry in it

and have it ripped away from you

Before you can let your thinning bones rest?

And do you know how it feels

To stand beside the road,

Feel a gentle breeze,

And the coolness of wet cheeks,

And wonder what it would be like

To

Take

A

Step?

What it would be like. What would it be like

To not have to question what is worth fighting for?

And what would it be like,

To pass a day through and not need much more?

What would it be like,

To sleep and know there's more tomorrow?

And what would it be like,

To be alone without sorrow?