(Onomatopoeia titles. I like them.)
This post is a collection of me ranting, talking about my life, and also fangirling.

1. I finally am getting around to finishing large chucks of homework, so I'll actually begin my regular posting schedule over the next couple of days.

2. I have this group project to do for one of my classes at school and I'm the only one that is doing their work. I'm so pissed!

3. Today the guidance counselor came into one of my classes and she started talking about college and college applications. I am so scared right now because I don't know what I'm doing. Also, I really am scared about college because it means I'm running out of time to make my dreams for my life into a reality. Anything sort of them means my life will be incredibly unfulfilling. I'm pretty much crying inside 24/7 now.

I'm so scared my life is going to turn into an unfulfilling hell in the next couple of years. I really don't want to be in that. God, I should really stop typing right now because the more I talk the more anxious about everything I feel. I don't know, maybe I just need someone to talk to.

Or a hug. I need a hug.

4. I am an ex-self-harmer, and I've been clean from that for several months. A couple days ago I cut again and I'm just so ashamed and pissed at myself. So yeah, apparently all of this anxiety really is not good for me. I have been holding back from confessing my self harm for a while, and I'll be honest, it's something I'm really ashamed of, so please don't say anything mean or nasty to me.

I think that's enough confessing for a while....

5. On top of that, my tendonitis is flaring up in my right wrist again. It makes playing my piano, writing, and doing really simple little things super painful. However, if I'm careful typing doesn't hurt so guess how I'll be spending my time.

6. I guess I should put something happy in here because everything else is really depressing.

I adopted Jon Anderson of Yes because he's literally such a cinnamon roll. I look at him and he brings me such joy.

Appreciate my new son:

I'm really working hard to not sound like a whiny piece of crap, just sometimes I need a catharsis.

I really love all of you guys and I love talking to y'all!
Peace and love, guys! ❤️❤️
~Lily 🐿🐿