"He is finally 18, of course he is celebrating," says Jason, sitting in the bar tool beside me.

"When was he not celebrating?" I ask back, bitterly, but I do know what he means.

I can't wait to be 18 either. If I'm 18 and an adult, I'll finally stop being the son of Dave Carlson and be who I am. I'll do whatever the fuck I want and he won't be able to say a thing.

I'll no longer give a damn about family dinners or anything.

I'll leave this town for sure.

"It's a wonder you bothered to come out though," Jason says, "What changed your mind? A certain Bradbury?"

I roll my eyes, "Think whatever you want-"

"Hey!" I hear her voice right away.

"Hey, it's Gwen," Jason says.

I turn around slowly and realize that it was a mistake.

Gwen Bradbury is standing there wearing the blue dress and glowing like a Goddess. Her black hair is loose and her warm brown eyes are crinkled in the corners, her pretty pink mouth turned up in a smile.

How am I going to survive tonight?

That is a question I don't know the answer to. My eyes take a tour of her without my permission, and I swallow nervously. This is bad, really bad.

I don't see any way I can get through the night unscathed. I can't figure out how I am going to keep to myself, not let my thoughts roam free. I clench my hands into fists while trying to breathe normally.

It's just a dress. It doesn't mean anything. Gwen has no idea.

Sure, it means nothing. Sure.

I am in so much trouble.

When I look at her face, pulling myself from my dangerous thoughts, I see her cheeks turning a shade too pink. I realize I have been ogling her. I look away.

I turn to Jason and blink. He is grinning, knowing exactly what is going on inside my head. Because, like the idiot I am, I told Jason everything the exact night I fell for Bradbury. I called him and told him about a girl in a blue dress.

"Um, did I do something wrong?" She says, in a timid tone, sitting on a tool beside me.

The audacity.

Jason smiles, "Nope. You did something fantastic!"

This bastard.

"In fact," Jason looks at me and I see it right in his eyes, what he is about to do, "I am going to leave you two alone so-"

"No," I say a little too quickly. Don't leave me alone with her, please. I plead. If you are my friend, don't do this to me.

I am going to do this because I am your bestest friend, Jason relays to me silently. He chuckles and then leaves.

I stare at his back as he walks away. My heart is thrumming inside my chest just at the thought of looking at her. How am I going to handle being alone with her when she is wearing that damn blue dress and looking so pretty?

Murder. She had my murder in my mind. Bradbury, I am never going to forgive you for this.

I gulp and glance at her, trying to sneak a peek. She is gazing at me with a clueless look on her face. Her eyes roam around my body, taking in my appearance.

"Hey, we are almost matching," Gwen says, like the innocent girl she is being tonight, and I look down at my shirt too.

It's a navy blue button down.

"Move over. Let me get a drink," a guy walks right in the middle of us, blocking my view of Gwen. I stand up immediately, look at her and ask her silently if she wants to leave.

Gwen nods. Then, in the blink of an eye, she is walking by my side.

I remind myself of that night. Gwen was having fun with her friends, laughing while her boyfriend had an arm around her waist. She was standing on the other end of the yard, so far away from me.

Now I glance sideways and there she is standing right by me. This doesn't make sense.

I breathe out slowly and try to calm myself. I can do this. I can definitely keep to myself and not kiss her senseless.

Nope, I am just going to have to stop thinking. Period.

"You came out of your room," Gwen states.

I take a look at her; her eyes warm, her cheeks pink, her dress blue, "I am regretting it."

Gwen shakes her head as if she is not surprised. She thinks it's about the party.

I don't see where we are going. There are too many people here, and I absolutely hate that. I don't know any of them. The house is already ruined, and it is starting to smell like other people's sweat.

Gwen is standing by my side.

No, go back to thinking about the mess of the house, Oliver.

While I am trying to rein myself, Gwen crashes hard by my side and I grab her hand. She shouts a "Hey" to whoever bumped into her. Then she looks up at me.

She is pressing on the side of my body.

I can't blame my thoughts anymore. I think this is a signal. The universe is sending me a signal.

Absolutely ridiculous, but who cares if I can kiss Gwen?

"You good?" I ask her.

"Yeah," Gwen moves aside.

She glances in front of her where people are bobbing and dancing to whatever song is playing. It is too loud here. This is giving me a headache. Every time I forget why I hate parties, my brother reminds me exactly why.

Jason was right. If not for Gwen, I would have never bothered to come out of my room.

"So what do we do now?" Gwen asks me.

Go to my room and make out?

No. No. No. Why is she asking me?

I realize I am still holding her hand and she hasn't pulled it back. Going to my room may not be such a bad idea.

My stomach reacts to that thought as heat pulls in from somewhere. I hold my breath and tell her, "I'm going to my room. Do you want to stay here and maybe, I don't know, look for Jason?"

I should stop touching her, but I can't. Her skin is warm and soft and my thumb is moving on its own and I don't really want to stop.

"I guess I will go with you?" Gwen replies, "If you don't mind."

If I don't mind? If I could have my way, I would pick you up and carry you to my room, Gwen Bradbury.

I look into her eyes, trying to gauge her feelings. It is only fair if I'm drowning, she is drowning too. If I'm having such a hard time keeping myself away from her, she is at least feeling somewhat close to that, too.

I nod at her slightly and hold her hand a little tighter. I am not letting it go tonight unless she wants me to.

We reach upstairs. We get to our room, and I remember it's locked. I have to let go of her hand to unlock the room, and I don't want to.

I bring out the keys and open the door. As I stand aside, she walks in, right into my bedroom. I close the door shut immediately, not letting her think twice. I lean against it and stare.

My breath comes out in a rush. She is here. She walked in on her own free will.

Gwen Bradbury is in my bedroom.

*****

It's one thing to do it in my dreams. It's one thing to conjure up an imagination of her.

It's a whole other thing to have her here for real. I can feel the heat radiating off her body. I can hear the sharp intake of her breath. I can see the pink dust on her cheeks and her neck.

It's good. It's better. It's the best.

I am kissing her skin, her cheeks, her jaw, her neck. I'm lost and I'm found. It's magic, and it's real.

Another kiss. Another gasp. Another breath.

I'm crazy, crazy, crazy.

I love her, love her, love her.

When I pull away slightly to gauge her reaction, I see her tilting back so she is better exposed to me.

I sense warmth washing down my body. I feel like I'm liquid, lost in want and more than that.

"Are you alive?" I ask, because she isn't breathing, holding back her breath while I trace her skin with my lips.

Trace her skin with my lips.

Holy shit.

"I-" she opens her mouth and I look at her adorable nose. Another kiss, right there.

I don't have it in me to stop. If I don't keep kissing her, it feels like I'm wasting time. One second without my mouth on her skin is one second lost.

I gaze at her, sitting here in front of me, breathing in little gasps, and I remember how we ended up here. She wasn't looking at me when she walked in. She was stalling, nervous, like a deer caught in headlights. I thought I was the nervous one.

Then she asked about my "secret room" and I wondered if maybe I had misread this. There was no signal from the universe. She has walked in here because she's been here before. It's nothing more than that.

But it is so much more than that to me. So I showed it to her how much this means to me. So much so that the idea of exposing myself- the geek side, the side I keep hidden from even my brother- didn't scare me, not even one bit.

Deep down, I knew she would accept me as I am. I wasn't wrong.

I couldn't help it, when after seeing the robots, the books and the computer and taking it all in, she didn't make any faces that would make me feel not enough, like a nerd, like she regretted knowing me this whole time.

She insisted on operating the robots I made. I showed her that too.

I couldn't blame myself when I let her know how much all of this means to me, what this night might turn into. She did not complain. Instead, she blushed crimson red and made a sound from somewhere deep down her throat, and I almost lost it there.

Then I remembered how dangerous my computer room can be with all the pliers, circuit boards and wires around. I had to put her in a safer place; my bedroom, in my bed.

That worked out well. Now I am taking guitar lessons from Gwen Bradbury, and it seems like she has forgotten all the chords that ever existed.

I am proud of myself, I'm not going to lie.

As she remains speechless, I lean down and kiss her throat, "So what are the chords?"

Gwen swallows. I try to hide my smile as I move towards the little hollow on her throat.

"I remember. There's one called..." she trails off, as if lost in thoughts. I am pretty sure she can't, for her life, remember it.

I look up to her eyes as warmth rushes between my rib cage.

"Yes," I encourage her, or is that sarcasm, "You can't even name one?"

Not sarcasm, joy. Pure joy for making her forget everything only by the touch of my lips. If I can make her forget the chords she has been playing forever, I wonder what else I can do.

Hmm. Later.

"It's called...it's called..." she breathes in a rush, as I finish kissing her beauty bone and try to calm myself. I rest my chin on her shoulder and glance at her; her warm brown eyes and her pink cheeks. I like this spot too much. I like it even better when Gwen looks down at me.

She gives me an incredulous look, as if she can't believe I have made her forget everything. A laugh bubbles up in my chest, and before I know what I'm doing, I'm laughing, hiding my face in her shoulder.

I pull back and shake my head. "You forgot all of them."

Gwen looks a little stupefied, a little flushed and a little angry. I like it.

"I know them," she glares and grabs the collar of my shirt, pulling me towards her, "I know all of them!"

I don't know if I think about the chords anymore when I pull her into me. I wrap my hands around her waist, drawing her closer and tell her to prove it to me.

Prove it to me that you want me to. Prove it to me, this means as much to you as it means to me. Prove it to me that you have been dying to touch me, hold me, kiss me just like I am.

Prove it.

And little do I know what Gwen Bradbury has in store for me.

I get an idea when she smiles. I've seen that smile a hundred times. Here, right now, it's more than a smile she has on when she has a dangerous idea. She is sitting close to me with the hem of her dress a little hiked up, her mouth turned upwards and her warm brown eyes a shade darker.

This smile tells me she is plotting my demise.

It also tells me I am going to like it very, very much.

"I will," Gwen replies. But her eyes say, Oh, Oliver, I will prove it to you, alright.

She pushes her hands on to my shoulder and I lean back a little. I'm intrigued, nervous and excited. The anticipation for what's to come makes my heart thud faster. With Gwen, I can never really guess what tricks she has up her sleeves.

"There are five basic major chords you can learn first."

Gwen starts. I'm wondering where she is planning to go with this while her fingers slip into my hair. Her fingertips touch my scalp. I feel it all the way to my toes, a rush of electricity jolting through me.

Holy shit.

"Number one, that you need to learn is-" Gwen draws in, brushes my nose with hers and then moves to my cheek. She whispers C major as she plasters a kiss on the cheek. My skin tingles and it's nothing I have ever felt before. A shudder ensues. Liquid electricity pulses between my nerves and I swallow nervously.

This is..interesting.

Interesting?

It is what I tell myself to keep calm.

Gwen makes her way down to my jaw. The air in the room feels hot. I think the windows are getting foggy. I'm glad we are in the dark.

She runs one of her fingers down the side of my jaw. I hold my breath.

"Then," she continues, "After you get C major right, you need to learn A major."

She says all that while her lips move underneath my jaw. She takes her time and kisses the side of my neck. I make a sound that has never come out of my throat before, not like this.

"Exactly like that," she says it like she is extremely pleased at the fact that how much I'm suffering while she continues her godforsaken guitar lessons: lessons that might be the cause of my undoing.

She kisses where my neck meets my shoulder. I dig my hands into her sides. She doesn't take notice.

The thought of touching her lips with mine is driving me crazy. I want to flush myself against her as I finally get to claim her mouth.

"How many chords are there?" The question flies out of my lips. I realize how breathless and different I sound.

Gwen raises one of her eyebrows skeptically, "Why? You are not enjoying the lesson?"

For the love of God.

"I-" I state, "I want to get to the last one."

She, like the devil she is, smirks, "That will take some time, Oliver."

Time. So much time I have wasted when we could be doing this. I could have had so many guitar lessons.

I squeeze her hand. Gwen takes it out of my grip and grabs my shirt. She looks at the exposed skin of my throat, and before I make the connection to what she is planning to do; she starts speaking.

"You see, while you are learning to play the chords," she says as she undoes the first button, "You will want them to be clean. So use the very tips of your fingers."

Huh. I have no clue what she is talking about and I don't have the headspace to make sense of it either. It's filled with Gwen; her scent, her smile, and her lips.

Her lips.

Then her fingertips as she shows me exactly what she meant, "Like this."

"I-" I try to speak, but I am rendered speechless. My brain has halted, and it does not compute. Gwen is the bug in my program, or maybe that line without which the whole program will fall apart and become useless.

Gwen takes no notice of all that. Instead, she goes on and kisses the base of my throat.

"These chords are so important," she says as she pops one button after another, "So important that once you learn them, you'll never forget them ever again."

Gwen then glances up at me. I feel waves of emotions flooding my senses. I wonder if she knows how long I have waited for this, to have her with me close; close enough to have her hands on me, looking at me like this matters, like I matter, like we matter.

I look down at her fingers on my shirt. I'll never forget anything that happened tonight. "That's for sure."

Gwen smiles, beaming with my reassurance and says, "The next chord is G major."

She presses her lips right where my shirt was seconds ago and is now unbuttoned. "And the next one is..."

This could go on forever and ever. I don't even know how many chords there are. I am impatient, selfish, and I want her right now. That little reassurance has brought all my emotions back to the surface. There is a chain around my heart and it tightens every time she kisses me elsewhere, and not on my lips. I need that like I need oxygen. Scratch that, I need that more than I need oxygen.

"That's it," I try to pull the brakes on her lesson.

"What?" She says, and dares to look innocent when I know she never was, "I said there are five major chords."

"What comes after G?" I ask. My heart beats erratically against my ribcage, anticipating what is to come and making sense of what has gone down already.

"E major," Gwen says as a matter of fact, "Yeah, that's the one."

I stare at her, gain my courage which seems to be nonexistent, and say, "That's enough."

"No, that's not-"

Before she can get the wrong idea that I'm ending whatever was happening, I hear my voice desperate and, at the same time, sure and confident. I know what I want.

"Kiss me. Right now."

It takes her a moment to register what I have said. I am not taking it back.

Gwen stares at me while I grow even more desperate with every passing second, "Right now." I emphasize.

"I was doing that," she says, and I feel the tremor that goes through her body.

"Yes," I say.

"So," Gwen smiles and dares to look down and says, "Where do you want me to kiss you?"

This girl. Jesus Christ.

"Gwen," I say.

Gwen looks up at me from under her lashes, feigning ignorance.

"You know damn well where." I glare.

"Not really," she shrugs.

I have had enough. Enough games.

So I place my palms on her cheeks as her hands land on my chest. Warmth spreads all over me as the contact happens and my insides turn to liquid.

I drag in a breath.

"I will show you."

Then I am finally pressing my lips on hers.

This is happening.

I kiss her and try not to kiss her harder. I try to stay in control and make it slow and sweet when I am reeling and want to make her forget her own name. I feel her shudder against me and her fingers run through my hair as she kisses me back. Gwen kisses me back with the same intensity and the same desperation which assures me to take this further. I kiss her for as long as I can, and I am annoyed by the fact that our lungs are so small.

I pull back and press my forehead to hers. Our breaths are heavy and dragging. I open my eyes and look at her, her eyes still closed. I need to kiss her again.

Then she opens them and stares at me.

This time, before I can make a move, she touches my cheek and kisses me.

I can't hide my smile. She wants to kiss me just as bad. So I kiss her back.

I totally forgot she is the Gwen Bradbury, and she is capable of everything, like biting my lips and pushing her tongue inside my mouth.

Everything in my head goes quiet. My heart stops for a moment, and so does every other activity, I think. It is like all of me has halted at what has just happened.

Did Gwen Bradbury just put her tongue in my mouth?

Yes. She did.

Before I did that to her?

Yes, absolutely.

This is utterly unacceptable. I know this is no competition, but I feel so. I vow to show her she has crossed into unknown territory, that is my mouth.

I will show her what a French kiss is supposed to be like.

As we are busy battling it out, a thought appears in my brain.

Will I ever be able to see her with anyone else ever again, knowing she kisses me like this?

Never. Never in a million years.

Gwen Bradbury is mine. I need to make sure of that. I will make sure of that.

When we finally pull back, both of us gulp down air, and I voice my thoughts firmly.

"This-" I say in between inhaling, "This will be your last first kiss."

I don't even want to know who her first kiss was. All I know is, after this, she will never be kissing anyone for the first time ever again. I know I won't.

"Is that so?" She says in that ever teasing tone of hers. She draws small circles with her fingers on my chest and eyes me from head to toe.

So do I.

Gwen is sitting there with her hair messy because I unknowingly ran my hands through her strands when I pulled her close, when I kissed her. Her dress has moved quite a lot. A sleeve has gone a bit to the side and I can see a strap. It's black.

It's black.

I draw in a breath as I force my eyes to look away. I look at her now pink nose and cheeks, flushed. Her lips are swollen and pink from the kissing, and it makes me want to kiss her again and again. I stare at her throat, her beauty bone and then down. I swallow nervously. The dress hasn't held up much better. It has slipped a little downwards.

I look up and meet her eyes. She has the same look I am sure I have now, one that of disbelief, amazement, and of the knowledge that we can do this again.

We are definitely doing this again.

"I think I'll need a few more guitar lessons," I say as I sit up straight, which means we are closer. Gwen is only a breath away.

"Then we have to set up a schedule," she states casually.

Casual. Hmm. Why does she sound so casual?

I push that thought to the back of my head and glance at her dress. I can't help myself when I say, "This blue dress."

Gwen seems curious, "What about it?"

What would I say? I have nothing that doesn't sound scary as hell.

"What? Come on, tell me." She pokes at my chest.

I will. Probably some day. Someday soon.

*****

A/N: hi.

every time you reread this chapter, drop your recent emoji here.