I'm underwater, sinking, that I knew. To my surprise the water was warm, like I couldn't feel anything, no pain. I'm telling my brain to move my arms but it doesn't listen to my commands, so here I was, sinking like a marionette...

"Somebody call an ambulance!"

Why?

"She's not breathing."

Yes I am.

"She's freezing."

I know, I should've worn a wetsuit. Wait a minute, why can't you hear me? Oh no, am I dead? Is this me detaching from my body? Omg, help, help!

"Come on Ellie, spit it out." I'm glad I was on the other end of Enea trying to revive me, because I could never pound someone's chest the way he did mine. What if I broke their ribs? What If he breaks mine. My lips were too numb to feel him against them and with my mouth slightly ajar we were practically making out, apart from the fact that I got air blown into my lungs instead of Enea's twisting tongue.

My eyes don't open until I'm coughing up saltwater and practically vomiting all over myself. Enea helps me sit up, allowing me to see the crowd of surfers surrounding me.

"The ambulance is coming!"

"The ambulance? I don't need an ambulance." The first words to leave my mouth as the violent coughing seized. However as I turned my head I could see Kai's blue board and his body laying lifeless beside it.

"Kai?" My cold lips trembled.

*****

At the hospital, you'd think I was in one of those Twilight movies or something. In the waiting room I had Enea on one side, trying to comfort me, his warm hand moving gently up and down my back. On the other side there was Deniz, faithfully trying to talk some sense into me in an attempt to calm me down.

"Your brother was breathing once the paramedics got him on the stretcher. I'm telling you Ellie, he'll be alright."

I felt so numb. Deniz 'words didn't bring me any comfort at all, still I nodded my head just to be polite, but even that took a lot for me to do. A warm hand went to the side of my face, Enea tilted my head to rest against him. "Nothing will happen to him, I promise." He whispered against my scalp. I shifted my head and buried it against him. His arms went to cradle around me and the whole room went dark in the cage of his arms. It was a calm space before the storm, the storm being my parents stumbling into the waiting room in a desperate need for answers, followed by Deniz 'dad who had driven them to the hospital.

"Where is he, where is my baby?" Mom cried hysterically. Dad had to support her side for her to not crumble up on the floor.

"Mom?" I had crawled out from underneath Enea's arms. I must have looked terrible because the change in my mother's expression was frightening.

"Honey!" She rushed to my side and dropped to her knees just to be at eye level with me. Her hand went to cradle my face, enclose my cheeks. "Are you alright?" She cried her eyes equally as filled up with tears as mine.

"Kai..he's...he's..." I was too weak to speak. My head dropped to her shoulder and I allowed myself not to be the responsible sister anymore, mostly because I'd come to realize that I really sucked at it. "Mommy." I wept against her comforting shoulder.

"It's okay, everything is gonna be okay."

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry."

"It's not your fault. Hey look at me..." She pulled me back by my shoulders, we now sat facing each other. "It's not your fault."

Dad stood behind her rising over us like a tower. His expression was unfamiliar, and looked disappointed. His eyes darted somewhere over my shoulder. Towards the wall, I thought, that is until I turned my head and saw Enea's pale expression looking back at him.

"You!" Dad said, with a voice too deep to be his own. "What were you thinking bringing my children to surf by the cliffs? If so god help me that my son is..."

"Dad!" I exclaimed, my body trembling with rage.

"George not here." Said mom, but even she refused to look at Enea. They couldn't possibly think he had anything to do with this, that this was his fault? It was all Kai, all Kai's fault.

"It's not his fault!" I shouted, startling everyone in the waiting room. "If Kai hadn't taken out his stupid board and gone out himself..." I began but Enea went to stop me, a stiff smile shaping his lips.

"Ellie don't, '' he said. His voice is also too low to be his own. "You're dad is right, it's my fault."

"What?" I frowned. Even dad looked skeptical. The only one who looked sure of himself was Deniz who had gone to stand in the corner with his dad, who looked to be on call since he still wore his police uniform.

"If I hadn't left you guys to surf on your own..." Said Enea, his eyes looking my way. " If I hadn't stopped giving you guys lessons..."

"The lessons stopped, why...when?" Mom looked to Enea with confusion. I only now came to realize that everytime Kai and I went to the beach to surf, my parents must have thought Enea would be with us to supervise. I know that they partly felt at blame. With the renovation of the house my parents had naturally paid less attention to me and Kai, shuffling us away to grandmas whenever they could just to get us out of the way. They had practically ignored Kai and I all summer, something I had failed to admit until now.

"The truth is..." Enea had risen to his feet, he now stood in the middle of the waiting room, an attentive crowd around him. "The truth is..."His body language told me he was speaking to all of them but his eyes told me that his words were only meant for one person, me.

"The truth is that I'm in love with you Ellie, but It was a mistake being with you, It should have never happened."

For a second time I froze around me. It was like one of those movie scenes where everything flashed before me in slow motion. The way Deniz sprinted across the room with the intention to kill Enea. "I knew it!" He yelled. His father was right behind him, restraining Deniz by putting a chokehold around his neck. Or the way my dad's jaw had dispatched from his face as he stood with his mouth wide open.

"Ellie?" Mom gasped as she sat crouched down before me.

"You fucking bastard!" Deniz yelled, which brought me back to normal speed. The emotion in the waiting room was hysterich.

"Let me go dad, let me go!" Deniz 'father looked to be fighting his son, he looked to be a criminal resisting an arrest. Deniz's face had gone red, red with anger and tears. I was surprised at how Enea's confession had affected him, how much he had felt for me.

Somewhere below me I felt my mother tug at my arm, "Ellie tell me it's not true, you and Enea?", frankly I couldn't really hear her. I hadn't registered any of the chaos around me actually. All I paid attention to was Enea, who still had his eyes locked on me. Then came the flying of Deniz fist. "You used her." He had somehow managed to fight his way out of his fathers grip.

"You used her to keep your secrets..."

"Deniz don't!" I shouted, but to no use. There was no way to stop him.

"You used her to keep the secrets about you and your drug dealing uncle!"

As the room fell silent, all eyes darting at Enea, a nurse dressed in blue scrubs appeared almost out of nowhere. " Mr and Mrs Muscotti, your son is awake and ready to see you now."