January 29th 2627

"Look who is awake and ready for his late morning coffee!" Moira greeted me from the living room as I made my way down the stairs. "Rain and everybody else are out exploring that seaside cave Akira took us to the other day. They let you sleep in because they understand you've been sleep deprived these days."

"That's nice of them," I answered as I rubbed my eyes and poured liquid creamer into my coffee. "Isn't it scorching hot outside? I hope they bring sunscreen."

"It's just as hot as usual today. The weather forecast indicates it's gonna get chillier in a few hours, though, chilly enough for light jackets. Hey, are you listening, Nardho?" Moira waved her hand in front of me when I didn't look up from my coffee mug.

"Sorry, I was distracted for a moment." I blinked and gave her a quick nod before gesturing for her to show me her phone. Just like she said, the temperature could drop later this afternoon.

"You have anything you wanna do before our evening get-together with our professors?" Moira scrolled through her planner before pocketing her phone. "I mean anything other than revising our bi-weekly reports. Didn't you say there's someone who wants to meet with us?"

"Yes. Give me a minute to get ready and then we'll go."

The wind blew our hair as we walked hand in hand to the same ice cream shop Tony proposed to Nardhia at. This time, however, instead of meeting with my sister and her fiancé we would be seeing Izumi. She texted me last night just before bedtime that she had a surprise she thought Moira and I would be thrilled to hear. I begged her to drop some clues but she remained tight-lipped.

"What do you think Izumi has in store for us?" Moira asked just as I was about to push the door to the ice cream shop.

"Probably something like she wants to throw a party for Nardhia and Tony, who knows?" I shrugged. "It's the only thing I could think of. Aside from us being in the same group project, I haven't spent much time with her to have a better idea of what she might be planning. Your guess is as good as mine."

"Isn't she one of your best friends? Or was that more of a one-sided declaration on her part?" Moira gave me a quizzical look as we sat in an empty booth waiting for Izumi to arrive.

"I regard everyone in our dorm as my best friends, honestly," I replied as I scanned the menu. "But you're right in implying that even so I must admit there are a few I naturally grow closer to and a few I still yet to get to know. By the way, which ice cream flavors sound good to you? Let's share a cone."

"Sharing a cone would be messy, wouldn't it?" she chuckled and flipped the menu. "Let's just get the big cup and get two or three scoops of different flavors."

"Oh yeah, with a cone you gotta eat the ice cream fast enough but with a cup you wouldn't have to worry about making a mess as it melts," I grinned and glanced at her. "I'm fine with whatever flavor, just don't pick anything too sweet."

"Nothing too sweet? I get it, I'm the sweetest thing you could handle."

Wait, did the normally shy girl just tease me? Who taught her all about teasing?

"Moira, did my twin tell you to give me diabetes? She's coaching you in how to kill me with an overabundance of puns, isn't she?"

"Maybe?" she started giggling. "Did I nail it or was it too in-your-face?"

"You don't have to change the way you talk to me, you know," I winked. "Just be yourself. I have to say that I'm impressed you delivered that line confidently, though. Good job."

"Yeah, good job, Moira!" a high-pitched voice joined in our conversation. Izumi put her arms around the smiling girl's shoulder and snorted. "Nardho, don't even try to hide your happiness. I know you secretly enjoy hearing her talk like that."

"I simply am trying to make him smile more," Moira said. "You notice how he hasn't been himself lately, don't you? So Nardhia and I agreed that perhaps my doing something out of the ordinary could be a good distraction for him."

"You girls are spoiling me," I sighed. "Thanks, though. Izumi, we were about to order. Would you like to also share a cup with us or get your own?"

"Oh, do they have cups big enough for three people? Fantastic! I'll go with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Yeah, I'm pretty basic, don't judge."

"No judgement," Moira chuckled gleefully. "I wanted to get something sufficiently sugary but I know this killjoy doesn't want to get a toothache," she lightly shoved my shoulder, "so I'd compromise and get us two scoops of the dark chocolate ice cream instead of the milk chocolate-flavored one. It would go well with vanilla."

"Thanks, honey, and sorry for being a spoilsport but I really don't like overly sweetened food," I grinned and then turned my attention to Izumi. "Time to tell us about this surprise you've been mentioning."

"Okay, but before that, you remember my aunt, right? Ayumi?"

"Of course we do," Moira's eyes shined with excitement and she flashed Izumi a wide grin. "She was a great professor and I hope she's been doing well."

"She and Deandra-san sent me an e-mail saying they're coming here," Izumi continued with a hint of amusement in her voice. "I think you guys should read it yourself. It's a delightful e-mail!" she turned her laptop on.

Dearest Izumi,

How is college life going for you? I hope you've adjusted to the rhythm of the academia. If things get stressful, just remember that it's okay to take a break.

I've enjoyed the pictures you sent me the other week. I'm pleased to know you've made friends with Moira and Nardho! They're the kindest people you could surround yourself with and you are bound to learn a lot from them, not just because they're older than you are but because they're good students.

By the way, I know that I said I wouldn't be able to visit you until the end of the semester but it seems that I can actually see you even sooner. Deandra and I have been talking about traveling around Indigo Inferno. This is actually related to Deandra's desire to know more about the wildlife of our interplanetary system. The Gaburs are still her top priority to protect, sure, but she has made it her mission to also be knowledgeable about other fantastic animals that may need the same level of protection. When I told her that you and the rest of the biochemistry majors are studying Kulambas, she put seeing their home planet into her bucket list. You can expect to see us next month! Feel free to share the news with Nardho, Moira, and everybody else. I think of them every day and Deandra does too, of course. We're indebted to them for everything they did last year.

Speaking of, Deandra and her parents have gradually tried to reconcile. Her father regularly writes her from prison and those letters are surprisingly heartfelt, going as far as apologizing for not being accepting of our sexual orientation but also acknowledging that his opposition stemmed not from his dislike of me but from his fear of having no successor in his business, which he now admits is a selfish act. Mr. Milton stated he can't undo the past but being imprisoned has given him plenty of time to reconsider his stance. Meanwhile, Deandra's mother has apologized for letting her sense of duty and obedience to her husband win over her desire to defend her daughter.

This e-mail is getting long so I should stop here. In the meantime, do look forward to my and Deandra's arrival in Amethyst Archipelago.

Ayumi

P.S.: Remind us to ask you to introduce us to Hamza and Alex.

"Oh, wow, I'm happy for Deandra!" Moira exclaimed as she finished reading the e-mail. "And I'm absolutely touched to know that she and Ayumi miss everyone."

"Being reunited with her and Ayumi will definitely be amazing," I agreed. "Besides, I'm interested in hearing their thoughts on the Kulambas. Maybe they could even have lively intellectual discussions with Gibran and Risma, why not?"

"Yup," Izumi nodded. "Enough talking though. Look, it's our order!" she said as a waitress approached our table and set a huge cup of ice cream with cherries on top.

I was about to dig into my dark chocolate ice cream when my phone screen lit up and my sister's name popped up.

"What's up, Nardhia? I'm with Moira and Izumi right now but we'll catch up with you soon."

"Nardho," her voice was shaky. "Have you seen Tony? He told me he'd join Rain, Vannie, me, and the rest of our group but it's been two hours and no one has heard back from him."

"Have you tried calling him?"

"What do you think?" she growled. "I couldn't reach him and neither could our friends. Has he said anything to you?"

"N-no," I replied in confusion. "Maybe he's sick and wants to be left alone. I know I'm always like that whenever I'm sick. I like my space."

"Yeah, but we're not talking about you, bro. Sheesh, you're not helpful. Besides, if he is sick, wouldn't you want to see if he needs us?"

"I'm just saying!" I retorted. "Okay, I'll get off the phone and go look for him."

"That's what I need to hear. Text me when you find him." She hang up.

Moira and Izumi raised their eyebrows as soon as I put my phone away.

"Why is she worried about him? It's normal for a guy to want some time to himself, right?" I asked them and they glanced at each other as if avoiding my eyes.

"Not everyone is as withdrawn as you are, Nardho," Moira gently pat my back. "It's concerning when a person who always appears happy suddenly just disappear like that."

"I don't know Tony that well but I second what Moira said," Izumi chimed in. "Let's check on him."

The three of us walked back to the bungalow we stayed in. Uncomfortable silence filled the air before Moira nudged my hand and I intertwined my cold fingers with hers.

"I'm surprised you don't seem upset about Tony missing in action," she whispered.

"I simply understand what it's like to need to hide from everything," I shrugged. "But since Nardhia sounds so worried, and I hate it when she worries, I'll help."

"You're a good brother and maybe you're right, maybe Tony is alright and Nardhia is overreacting, but better be safe than sorry, isn't it?" Izumi frowned. "I would feel bad if you were wrong and he isn't fine."

We were now in front of the room all the guys in our small cohort of biochemistry class shared. I knocked and waited for an answer. Nothing. I knocked again and gave up after knocking for at least half a dozen times.

"Want to just barge in?" I suggested to the girls while turning the doorknob. "Hey Tony, in case you're inside, I'm sorry for intruding but Nardhia is wondering where you are!"

The room was empty and I slapped my forehead for shouting needlessly.

"Maybe he would pick up his phone if you're the one calling him? He loves you, right?" Moira suddenly spoke up. "I can't imagine him ignoring you but on the other hand he ignores Nardhia already, so..."

"Couldn't hurt to try." I nodded and started dialing his number but then I got a message.

I saw you and the girls walking toward the bungalow. I'll let you know where I am but please don't bring them with you.

"Is that him? What's up with him?" Izumi tried to read over my shoulder but I blocked her view. She groaned.

"My apologies, girls, but he doesn't seem to want you to get involved."

"I understand," Moira smiled kindly. "Come, Izumi, we should let Nardho handle this." She took the groaning girl's hand and waved goodbye at me.

With the two leaving me to my own devices, I texted Tony back.

N: It's just me now. Whatever you need to say, you can tell me.

T: Dude, I don't want to seem weak but please come to the vending machine.

N: Got you, my man.

True to his words, Tony was there, sitting crossed-leg beside the vending machine. He didn't look up when I called his name but he handed me a bottle of orange soda, which I refused.

"Thanks for coming," he said with his face still hidden from me. "I've been feeling down since the moment I woke up. I thought this would pass if I let myself get some air, but no, the feelings persist."

"You can't always fight feelings," I stooped down to his level and he laid his head on my shoulder. "The harder you fight them, the more persistent they become."

"I've spent the entire morning writing my feelings down," he said as he pulled out a piece of crumpled paper from his pants' back pocket. "It's not a good poetry but I suppose there's no harm in showing it to you."

Tony's poem went like this:

Flowers On Your Gravestone

-For the one I could never reach now

I'm bringing flowers to

Your final resting place

It hurts to see your engraved name

Yet for a reason, I keep staring at it

Are you now one with eternity?

Are you free from suffering?

Is it really you underneath the soil, the pebbles, and the sting of memories?

Did I really love you beyond my tears and my screaming?

I shall join you someday

But today I'm asking your forgiveness

For things left unsaid between us

For we have run out of time

And now there's none left

"Today is the fifth anniversary of my grandmother's death," he held on to my hoodie's sleeve and finally raised his misty eyes to meet mine. "She's already gone but I still want to hug her so badly. That poem is my imagining what I would have done if I could go home for a day and visit the cemetery she was buried in instead of being here in Black Elm."

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"Don't be. It's just that... There are a lot of things I wish my grandmother could have witnessed, you feel me? For example, I wish I could have introduced Nardhia to her."

"I see," I squeezed his hand. I wanted to be sympathetic but I was at loss at how to be reassuring, so that was all I could do to comfort him. "Your grandmother would have been happy to know you're engaged to a person of your own choosing who also chooses you."

"Nardhia is a lot like my grandmother," Tony smiled although his whole body was trembling. "She is headstrong, fierce, and yet so caring."

"Tony, it's probably not my place to give you advice but... Why don't you share this with Nardhia? I promise she's not gonna judge you for showing emotions."

"I don't want her to get offended by my comparing her to a woman she has never met." He seemed to sink lower to the ground.

"Trust me, she'd be flattered," I said. Tony looked at me quizzically, so I quickly added an explanation. "Nardhia and I had lost a grandmother too and if someone were to mention that we have similar mannerism to her we wouldn't take it as an insult." When Tony didn't respond, I elaborated. "Nardhia's been questioning if you truly love her, even after your impromptu proposal, and you know that. This will let her know without a shadow of doubt that you do love her, regardless of whether or not I'm in the picture."

"What if she thinks I only love her because she reminds me of a dead lady? Wouldn't you feel insulted if you were her?"

"There's nothing insulting about that," I put an arm around his shoulder. "But if you're concerned just start by telling her that you've been missing your grandmother and that's why you don't feel like doing anything tiring today." I glanced at Tony, who stayed silent. "If you want, you can always talk to me about your grandmother the way I talk to you and Moira about Lee. Sometimes talking about deceased loved ones makes the pain more bearable. The grief is still there but at least by talking we'd have a better way to cope."

"And?" he demanded with an undercurrent of uncertainty. "What else should I say to Nardhia?"

I deliberated for a minute before responding. Seeing Tony, who was the most confident person my age I had ever known, being very vulnerable made me wish I could just scoop him up and encase him in a bubble wrap so no one and nothing could hurt him.

"You can let her know how much your grandmother means to you and then reassure Nardhia that she also means the world to you and that your thought about the similarities between them is not a comparison so much as an observation."

My legs started to get sore from crouching so I slowly sat up and leaned on to the wall.

"Nardho, I've never told you about my family's background, have I?" he got up upon seeing me getting up. "I was born out of wedlock. My grandmother raised me with my mother because my father had no idea how to be a dad."

"Sounds a little bit like my dad after Johan brought Kenta home," I nodded. "But let's keep the focus on yours. So, your dad wasn't very responsible?"

"They were both very young they had me. The pressure was too much for him so they broke up. Of course, he regretted it and as I grew up he has been doing his best to stay in touch with me. My mother lets him do it just so that I'd not be completely fatherless."

"Oh. Well, thank you for telling me. I appreciate you confiding in me." I meant it although I tried my hardest to keep my facial expression neutral. Tony gave me a faint smile. It was a sad one and I didn't think I had ever noticed before how not all smiles indicated happiness.

"You're the only confidant I have," Tony pulled me into a tight embrace. "But I really want to be able to confide in Nardhia too. Do you think I can?"

"You can and you must," I replied. "You and Nardhia are in a partnership, it is expected that partners should be comfortable with each other's secrets. Otherwise, why bother being partners?" I sighed before continuing. I knew I sounded like a hypocrite because I myself was still managing my own relationship with Moira and here I was talking as if I had amassed firsthand experiences of having a spouse-to-be. Nonetheless, I felt Tony deserved to hear unfiltered honesty. "Yes, I know you're not going to actually have a wedding until at least another couple of years because we need to graduate from college first, but my point stands."

"Nardho, if I have a kid with Nardhia, do you think I would be able to be a good dad?" he closed his eyes and exhaled.

"Sure, why not?" I gripped Tony's shoulders but removed my hand when he winced from my strong grip. "Just because your dad left your mom doesn't mean you're going to follow his footsteps. You're not your dad!" I balled up my fist in determination.

"I suppose," he laughed mirthlessly. "People say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"False equivalency. You're not an apple." I argued in hope that he would chuckle, but he just shuffled his feet.

"Do you want to marry Moira someday and have a kid?" his question came out of the blue. My hands twitched at the abrupt change of subject. Tony might be ready for marriage in two or three years despite his relationship with Nardhia being somewhat rocky as we speak, but I couldn't say the same about the future I envisioned with Moira. Nineteen-year-olds, or at least me, got more urgent things to worry about!

"Never say never," I answered. "Not sure about having kids, though. I mean, look at my older brother and his husband. The babies are cute but I bet it is tough balancing parenting with full-time jobs."

"When there's a will there's a way. Yeah, cliché, but it's a cliché for a reason. Hey, Nardho?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks again for lending your ears."

There was a smile on Tony's face but it was not like anything I had seen from him before. The smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Moira's words about how different men expressed their emotions differently echoed in my mind. Perhaps she had a point. I needed to be more intuitive and observant of others' feelings. Tony was usually full of laughter and this seemed to be the first time he let me see his vulnerability.

"I'd be glad to listen to you anytime, mate."